Wednesday, January 28, 2009


When I was a little girl, my Mom was that type for the most part that said pick out what you want to wear for the day. Only exception to that was of course when were going somewhere special - Grandma's, church, parties and such. So often as a little girl I picked out dresses. I loved to wear dresses and I still do. As a teenager, I pretty much succumbed to peer pressure and wore what others wore - jeans mostly. When I was married, I still fell into the fad thing. It had become the norm. But all throughout when I wore dresses or skirts, I always felt better. It felt natural for me. I liked feeling feminine. By the end of my marriage, I was wearing dresses and skirts almost always. I owned 2 pairs of sweats and 2 pairs of khaki pants.

So fast forward to 1998 when I was owned by K. He liked that I wore mostly dresses and skirts and basically made it a rule for me that I wasn't allowed to wear pants without permission. I can remember wearing sweats just a few times - once to dig out my car from the snow. And another time when I was really ill and hardly able to move and so very cold always. And I don't remember wearing my khaki pants but I am sure I did a few times with his permission. I never wore pants without permission. I have an obedience fetish what can I say.

When I was released from K and started escorting and owned an escort agency, I bought 2 pairs of dress pants. One pair that was really long that I could wear with heels and another regular pair to wear with flats. As I said above I prefer wearing skirts and dresses, but there are sometimes I pants are easier. When it is very cold, putting on pants just is easier and warmer. Another time I like pants...well just going to be during my period. I just feel more secure that way as someone that doesn't always have a consistent menstrual flow.

So now I am Master's and not allowed to wear pants in public. What that means is I can wear pants at home. And then on the very rare occasion when I won't be getting out of the car such as when we run to drop mail in the mail box or go through the drive through to get an ice cream. And that is fine with me. I am one of those girls if I have get out of the car then I better have make-up on, hair in place and nice clothes on. I have some yoga type lounge pants, a really warm pair of polar fleece and then several pairs of thermal underwear and cuddl duds because I am always cold. And Master doesn't like me being so cold. When out and about in public - going grocery shopping, out with friends, going to the library or whatnot I wear a skirt or dress. So the 2 pairs of dress pants I had when I lived in Cleveland those 2 pairs of dress pants were hung in the back of the closet but they have not been worn here....

Until now.

I really hoped to start the new year off with blogging more but unfortunately 2 weeks ago I tripped. I can't blame snow or ice. We did have a little snow but not enough to make me "slip" plus there wasn't any snow in the spot I tripped. Master and I were running an errand early in the morning so I was wearing lounge pants and my birkenstocks (yes with no socks in the winter.) I got to the car and realized I had forgot a couple things so Master sent me back in. I was walking back to the car and looking at the things in my hand to make sure I had everything and tripped on a little break in the pavement of the driveway. As soon as it happened I knew it was going to be one of those trips where I couldn't save myself from falling flat on my face. So anyway I fell HARD and hurt my knee which has caused me to not be at the computer much lately.

But back on topic of this post...pants. Because of my fall, I couldn't wear tights, knee high socks or long socks because of all the bruising and swelling. I could barely get little anklets on without help because I couldn't bend my knee enough to bend over and put them on. Since I couldn't wear tights, knee high socks and long socks - means skirts are pretty much out. Master and I had a job the day after I fell and all I would have to do is sit behind the camera and film so I could do that in pain. But what to wear. It is a professional setting and don't have the money right now to be going out and buying me pants just to wear a few times. I then remembered the dress pants in the back of the closet.

Since that fall I have been wearing those dress pants when we need to go in public and it is SO weird and uncomfortable to be wearing them. I just don't feel "right" in them. My knee is finally starting to feel better so hopefully next week I will be back in skirts. And feel like I am in my natural state again.

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