Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Another Raid?

I read this on an elist but I can't find confirmation of it other then link on this quoted section.....and I usually like a few sources on this kind of thing....

"ENFIELD, CT – Michelle Silva thought that things were starting to
settle down in her life. She was getting her finances in order and had
found that selling home-made bondage videos through her website
provided her with the economic independence she needed to accomplish
her goals. She had her professional ducks in a row and was preparing
for a successful and satisfying future.

In order to comply with all local laws, she possessed the appropriate
business zoning permits. In order to comply with national 2257
regulations, she kept appropriate model documentation. Yet on the
afternoon of Wednesday, November 16, she says that as many as 30
members of the Enfield Connecticut police force unexpectedly entered
her home, repeatedly made derogatory comments about her lifestyle, and
confiscated not only all of her computer and internet technology
related possessions, but also every piece of bondage furniture and
BDSM equipment likewise involved."
Read the whole article.



Edit added Dec. 2: This link was posted that is in the woman's own words.

Pass it On.....Please

This is not a hoax:

Please take 30 seconds, go to the Bristol-Meyers Squibb (BMS--a drug company) site below and light a candle -- the company will donate $1 towards AIDS/HIV research...

http://www.lighttounite.org/

By going to this web site and "lighting" a candle you can help raise MILLIONS of dollars for HIV+ / AIDS organizations around the world. This is at NO COST TO YOU! Bristol-Meyers Squibb has capped the donation at $100,000 but each candle is a show of force.

It's as easy as 1-2-3. Simply …
1) go to the site - it will start with an ad for 'Reyataz', a drug
2) wait for it to load an animation which forms the continents of the World
3) click on a continent to "light a candle". You will be asked to which you want to dedicate your candle: strength, hope, health, love....

For EVERY candle lit BMS will donate one dollar. The donation will be made on World AIDS Day, December 1st. The event will be televised on the TODAY Show (NBC).

Holidays on the Web

Well I just signed up for Holidailies! I have always wanted to participate in them but never had a chance as most of the holiday season I am out of town or have so many other obligations that I didn't have the time for it. But Master said that I could participate this year so I am excited.

I also found another good holiday design for my blog this year and so I am starting to get that pulled together!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Question for the Masses....

If I changed to blogspot commenting tools would it make you stop commenting on my journal?

Because I am thinking of changing to them as I like that they are always there. And with haloscan after a few months they delete them all. So that is my reasoning behind it but wanted to know how it would really affect people commenting on my journal.

Not a bad thing in my book....

Master's post has gotten a lot of attention (thank you for everyone has visited from my blog/lj). In one of the comments left on his blog, someone made mention of the whole group think concept not necessarily being a good thing. The more I started thinking about Master's post the more I realized I had some issues to discuss about the whole group think mentality.

There are some sites that make D/s sound all romantic - hearts and flowers - and there are others that do the "there is only one way to do bdsm." Specifically I can think of 2 websites that are given to almost every new person out there when they ask for a good learning website. I never give them out because of the overly romantic hearts and flowers type notion of D/s they subscribe to. On one of the sites I do like some of the writings but the overall website is too over the top to me. Looking back I actually wished I had never found either of them when I was new as they did give me a skewed view of D/s: there is too much group think which did not correspond with how D/s has been in my life.

This doesn't just apply to those websites there are others communities,websites and discussion lists that also distort D/s and reality. They say they are all inclusive but in reality they aren't....they really want you to just fall into line of the group think. And I know I have backed away from communities and discussion lists because I don't conform to the group think mentality.

That concept really clouded me when I first started to pursue D/s actively...I started to think that the things I desired weren't the "right" way to do D/s. The most valuable learning tool --- instead of conforming to the group think mentality -- was learn about myself. I figured out what I really wanted, desired and needed from life and M/s. I thought about who I am as a person - not just in a BDSM sense but my moral and ethical beliefs, what movies do I like, what my political and spiritual beliefs are....I thought about my emotional baggage that needs to be worked on....I basically took a self inventory. And in the end that helped me more then any website, group, or discussion list figure out D/s that works for me.

But....

I also think it is not a bad thing to discuss and share ideas with others. I know that sometimes when I having problems within my slavery....discussing it with others helps sort out my own feelings. Maybe even hearing what others have done in the similar situations will help me find my path in how to work those struggles out.

So the type of thing Master was talking about in his post was not so much that he doesn't know himself more like -- dominants struggle at times too...they are not perfect, they don't always make the right choices, they don't always lead with foresight....and "hey do others go through this and lets share and discuss it."

The Servants Retreat he refers in his post is....not like a meeting or an event or munch. It was a small group of submissives that basically discussed their baggage and issues that interfere with their submission and life and what they can do about it so that we are serving better. It was not group think, but it was sharing experiences. Master feels a Dominance Retreat should be out there too to discuss and share experience in the daily real world of M/s and D/s. So the Servants Retreat and the Dominants Retreat (now found out there is a Master's Retreat held yearly since Master's post) is much different then the stereotypical event, meeting or munch and not part of the group think and that there is only one way to do BDSM.

I know Master and many dominants do what they believe, want and desire - are strong and confident in themselves -- but it still doesn't mean they have all the answers or don't struggle. And just like everyone else in the world sometimes discussing that with others - like minded others - can be helpful and that is not a bad thing in my book.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Life Update

I thought I should do an update since I have been quiet for a bit.

Thanksgiving

We had a nice Thanksgiving. I made cinnamon rolls while Master ran out to get the paper. After I got them in the oven, I called my family to wish them a Happy Thanksgiving. It was a nice chat before we got our day on the way. After eating some breakfast, I made a pumpkin pie and then started preparing the rest of the meal even though we decided we were not eating until 5pm. But I made the sides early so that they would be ready to go. I made some crab ragoon also for a mid-day snack to tide us over until dinner. Everything turned out very good. I made a changes to the traditional feast this year and everything turned out really good especially the wildrice and cornbread stuffing. It was very good.

We just spent the day relaxing. Master watched football. I took a quick nap and read a little.

Friday

Friday was not a good day. We woke up with good intentions of going out and taking a drive. So I went in took my shower and started getting ready...I went to the closet to pull my clothes out....and the carpet goes squish under my feet.

So I need to backtrack here some....we have an evaporated cooling system and it needs to be drained and basically put to bed at the end of the summer season. We were warmer later this year so Master didn't put it to bed until the first week in November. The tube that runs the water to the unit is hooked into the hot water heater and then has a shut off valve right in front of the water heater for the cooler. That whole system is behind a hidden panel in our closet....thus the squishing under the feet when walking into the closet.

Master has had problems with the valve in the past -- where it feels like it is shut off but it really isn't. And so that is what happened...the valve broke and water that was still trapped in the piping to the valve decided it needed to come out and did....onto our closet floor. So we had to empty the closet enough to get everything off the wet carpet and moved things out so Master could get in the panel and access the problem.

That is how Friday started off....meant we had to call off our plans and start calling plumbers, blotting up the water, getting the fan going and all the other things needed to start fixing the problem. We got one booked for Saturday morning (8am omg). So we stayed around the house so that we could keep readjusting the fan and monitoring the leak.

The rest of the day also had more hang ups Master and I get in an argument, over something stupid. And then there were family differences. And to top things off.... one of our cats had the 10 o'clock crazies at 9pm and side swiped me - making me fall and twist my back and knee really bad. It hurt a lot on - and made me walk very carefully to bed.

Saturday

We got up early to get things ready for the plumber to be here (ie: take the cuffs and rope off the bed, put away all the hoods and other toys). I made muffins and we hung out waiting for the plumber - he was there on time and worked quickly and didn't cost as much as I thought it would so that was good. After the plumber left, Master asked me if I would like to go on that drive - and I was quickly saying, "YES." It sounded like a nice way to relax after a stressful Friday. I knew we would not be able to totally relax as there are some family issues still out there. Many things misinterpreted. But we talked and I just enjoyed being with him. After we got home I made lunch and we did a few things around the house. We had dinner (chili that I had in the crockpot most of the day) and watched "Passion of the Mind." Master didn't think he was going to like it but did...I had already seen it several times but enjoyed it -- so wanted to watch it with him.

Sunday

Sunday was colder and so I spent most of the day snuggled under blankets. When I have been online this weekend I have been hooked on StumbleUpon. I was pretty obsessive about it yesterday! But I have found some really good links....I will be sharing some in another post.

I felt a little stiff but able to walk which surprised me but I have been having twinges of shooting and aching pain every once in a while. Especially because I was so cold.

Oh also Master bought me a new blouse to wear for Christmas parties. It is silky a brilliant fushia blouse that really is a great color on me even though it is much brighter then I usually grab to wear. But Master liked it a lot so of course He bought it.


Monday

Been struggling with a migraine all day today but did come up with a good stocking stuffer, mini gift idea --- making my own magnetic poetry sets. I bought these sheets that were magnetic on one side and peel back adhesive on the other. I am going to print off words -- all kinds of words and make my own magnetic poetry sets. I can print the word sheets off and stick them on to the adhesive and cut them apart!

I can do them specialized to fit the person....like my one sister is a big history buff I can do all kind of historical figures and words. And my other sister is a teacher and I could do one that maybe she could even keep at school -- that her kids might like too. So just my little idea for the day.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Monday, November 21, 2005

Color Quiz

a friend on livejournal posted this and I just took it...interesting results...




ColorQuiz.comdanae took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Longs for a tender and sympathetic bond and for a ..."




Results....

Your Existing Situation
Acts in an orderly, methodical, and self-contained manner. Needs the sympathetic understanding of someone who will give her recognition and approval.

Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. Her control of her sensual instincts restricts her ability to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow herself to merge with another. This disturbs her. as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; she feels that only by continued self-restraint can she hope to maintain her attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for herself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others.


Your Restrained Characteristics
Circumstances are restrictive and hampering, forcing her to forgo all joys and pleasures for the time being.

Wants to broaden her fields of activity and insists that her hopes and ideas are realistic. Distressed by the fear that she may be prevented from doing what she wants; needs both peaceful conditions and quiet reassurance to restore her confidence.


Your Desired Objective
Longs for a tender and sympathetic bond and for a situation of idealized harmony. Has an imperative need for tenderness and affection. Susceptible to anything esthetic.


Your Actual Problem
Has a fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants. This leads her to employ great personal charm in her dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for her to reach her objectives.

Your Actual Problem #2
Greatly impressed by the unique, by originality, and by individuals of outstanding characteristics. Tries to emulate the characteristics she admires and to display originality in her own personality.

Kindlings

I have a ton of posts I want to do but I don't have the time to do a long drawn out entry and most of them would be that. But I felt I wanted to just write a little so I am doing an old Kindlings.

1. "One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other." -Jane Austen
I think that quote is accurate. I think we all are unique and have different pleasures and tastes. And even if I don't understand someones -- I try not to judge them. And maybe that is because I have been so judged by others because of my desires and even just the dynamic I am in and sought out for all those years previous to Master claiming me. I was often told I was insane and seeking unsafe conditions. But just because it was what I wanted - I did not expect others to do as me.

2. Is it possible to live with no regrets, or are regrets a natural part of life?
I think regrets are a natural part of life. It is how you handle the regrets. Does a person get hung up on them and dwell on the past more then acknowledging it and then moving forward. I have regrets but I try to look at them this way....I didn't like that it happened but I will handle it differently if I am faced with that situation again.

3. What is one of your best skills or talents?

organization

4. "The heart is the temple wherein all truth resides." -Kahlil Gibran
hmmm is really the truth within my heart...? I am not sure as sometimes I feel my heart/my emotions get in the way of seeing the truth. But on the other hand there are times if I would have followed my heart I would have been more happy so that truth was right.

5. Do you feel there is a learning curve in slavery? Do you feel you have to unlearn certain things that society has taught you?
yes....I do think I have had to unlearn certain things society has taught me. I know that I often fought against what I truly desired because of what society has said.


6. "One man's edge is another man's daily life." -Joseph W. Bean

Amen! I think often there are things in my daily life that people consider an edge they will never go but I am very happy that it is my daily life.

Friday, November 18, 2005

life update and rant

I have become inspired again. I knocked out several pieces. Today I need to clean but still hope to have some time to finish up one piece. Master comes home tomorrow so it will be nice to have him at home again. Not much else going on...I really have been so absorbed in my art that the rest of the world fades away for a bit. I do hope to work on a blog of substance this weekend though. I have part 4 of SR, Poly, Reminders of Place, Bottoming before Topping, and about 4 others saved as drafts that I want to work again.

Now on to a rant....

Recently I read a blog where the woman was getting STD tests done. From reading the blog all I could discern is that she is married but goes out and seeks affairs and one night stands with strangers behind her husbands back. And doesn't have safe sex.

Okay I have several problems going on just there, but the thing that really annoyed me is she was going to a county health clinic to get the STD test and was worried about being around "junkies, indigent and whores."

She is putting them lower then her....but she is the one cheating on and lying to her husband plus not having safe sex....where is the logic in that.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Art Vent

Just needing to vent...

I am just so frustrated right now.....

I am not feeling very inspired. I do have things in my head but when I try to get them out it looks muddled or doesn't quite fit together on the canvas or paper like it does in my head. And so then I just try to come up with something by looking at all the beautiful inspiring pieces I have around me....but again nothing seems to come together quite right. I will get one or 2 pieces together but then I can't finish it out. So I am frustrated.

Master is out town and I hoped to get quite a few Christmas presents knocked out this week. But if tonight is how it is going to be....it is going to be a long week! Here is hoping tomorrow inpsires me.

[Daily Om] Karma: The Law Of Cause And Effect

I was reading through some Daily Om's that I saved and so I might be posting a few today...

Every day is filled with opportunities to balance your karma. If you are trying to rectify a specific action that you committed during this lifetime, there are four steps that can help the process:

1. Believe that you can grow and mature - believe you can purify your karma

2. Regret that you have done something negative

3. Resolve not to repeat this negative activity

4. Do something to actively make retribution.

Helping others and living virtuously is favorable for your karma, but you can also aid in healing your karma simply by adjusting your intention. Making a concerted effort to rejoice in the happiness of others, even your worst nemesis, is a very powerful antidote for jealousy and anger.


(click the link to read the rest)

Monday, November 14, 2005

Vanilla Dominants

This was shared on an elist I am on....I found it interesting and still mulling it over...He Looks like a Dom and Quacks like a Dom, but is he really a Dom? Thoughts on the difference between appearing to be in control, and actually being in control by Sensuous Sadie

I would love to hear what others think about it.

Thanksgiving Dinner Menu



As I told a friend recently since it is just going to be Master and myself for Thanksgiving I was not going to go overboard with food...

Well I was just ironing and watching Essence of Emeril....and his the turkey and dressing he cooked is what I am going to make for Thanksgiving Dinner...(need to ask Master of course if it is okay with him -- but I think he will say yes..I hope at least)

Cranberry Glazed Breast of Turkey
Wild Rice and Cornbread Dressing

I then will make green beans with pancetta and some multigrain rolls. And maybe a crab ragoon as an appetizer, salad to start the meal and pumpkin pie for dessert.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Part 3 of Servant's Retreat: Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Okay so I thought I better get this entry finished up as it will be 2 months after the fact next weekend and then work on the next entries also.

Catherine covered Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Which I have read about in Psych classes as well as and various forums and elists as well as an essay on Internal Enslavement.

I think Maslow's has always been a good way for me to figure out what is a want and what is a need. And so coming back to the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs did help me understand some things that swirl around in my brain a little better. It is funny how things you have done in the past to help with issues get lost or forgotten and I will say that is probably one of the number one things that weekend gave me. It was remembrance of things I already knew but needed to recall and use again.

Here is a good description of each layer on the pyramid of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

So we had to identify needs and what needs that were not being met. We did it for each layer of the pyramid. What I found most interesting for me is the safety needs were the area that had the most issues. And I would have never said that before the retreat. Some of that is left over baggage from past relationships but most of it comes directly from our relationship.

Disclaimer....this does not mean Master is not safe with me. It is not that I fear him or that I am abused. It is not that kind of safety but I can see where that kind of safety falls under this section. If you read the above link you will see what safety needs include, but for the most part my issues come from security in the relationship and stablility for me.

Also because of those issues within the safety section I could see how they bleed into other areas such as the love and belonging.

Often the thoughts that are lead from my safety issues end up being that I could be abandoned or "kicked to the curb" - which lead to maybe I am not good enough and that is why "this" is happening. So that leads to either being totally overwhelmed or I go into hyper drive.

This week one of those issues was touched on and as soon as it was over - first I cried by myself and then I was scrubbing out the fridge and doing things that did not need to get done - but I was doing it because my internal workings went to I am not good enough so I need to try harder. It was several hours later then I recognized what I was doing and slowed down.

I was going to write on the issues but I decided unfortunately it gets into things I am not really wanting to share with the world. Master and I have discussed them. He knows of the issues. I believe it is something we will have to work on continually for some time.

On the pyramid there are Deficit Needs (the bottom layers) and then Being Needs (top layer). The being needs is self-actualization on the pyramid. This part of the pyramid I can really relate to my slavery and service journey.

I believe before Master my journey in SM and M/s - and all that falls in between was more centered on my D-needs rather then my being needs. Even though I thought I was shooting for being needs -- I wasn't getting there and I wasn't getting many of my d-need met either.

Getting to that point was going through all my past baggage and looking at how it affects me and my service....deciding what I could do about it or realizing it did not need to affect me anymore. Whenever I talk about Don, people always seem to tell me they are sorry I went through what I did...and I do appreciate that they care. But I have long since developed another outlook to it - that it made me who I am. He helped me realize who I am --- even if it was in a less then positive experience -- he did help me see -- me the authentic me. So that suffering allowed me to get to the point I am today.

So it was getting more in touch with myself that helped me get to this point in my slavery. It took lots of work and lots of internalizing for me. It was letting go of a lot of things that cluttered my life and wasted my energy and time. Studying Buddhism helped me in a lot of my looking at my past as well as seeing where I wanted to go in the future. Meditation and actual self-help type exercises helped me also. Journaling journaling and more journaling. And last but certainly not least Master helped me --- the most because he slowed me down so that I could focus.

A lot of the factors that go into Maslow's Being Needs...are what I put into my slavery, servirce and surrender actually. I look at things more black and white. I break down our relationship to the black and white. He has power and control and I am to serve and obey. I go through my mental list of is this what he wants? is this according to his will? his ethics, his morals, his needs, his wants? okay then go forward as it is serving and obeying. And that is my reality. I can see my reality more clearly then ever. It is not a roller coaster anymore. It is just simple serve and obey.

Going through each layer Maslow's theory of needs and asking what needs aren't being currently met and how those needs affect my service and slavery to Master was a good exercise and I think it is exercise I should do every once in a while to help access areas I need to create goals in to help me focus and be more aware.

Links to SR posts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 Boundaries.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Mini-Rant : Arrogance

uggggh big turn off...."dominants" that do that "I am dominant hear me roar." There is a big difference between arrogance and self-confidence. Self-confidence is a turn on arrogance is a turn off. At least to me! Accidentally fell onto a blog this morning that was so over the top -- trying to hard that I couldn't even make it past the second entry to see if there was anything of substance.

Off topic...I don't think I like fruity teas! I just can't get used the taste.

(just putting in an edit for here as I wanted to say I am not talking about any blog I link to....I followed a link to another link to another link to find this blog)

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Q&A Meme

I asked here if anyone wanted to ask me anything...totally anonymously and here are some questions I received...by the way if anyone still has something they want to ask please feel free.

What is your favorite meal to cook? I think it would have to be thanksgiving! I asked this question of someone else and she said something about how it used to intimidate her and I was the same way....it scared me. I remember the first time I made it was when I was married and his parents, my parents and my grandmother were coming so I was very nervous but everything turned out. I was amazed how it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It is just time consuming but worth it....as thanksgiving dinner is one of my favorite meals also.

What are a few foods you absolutely hate and won't eat? Oh brussel sprouts, liver, pork rinds, bleu cheese, cooked peas and carrots on their own but together they are yummy! I know I am picky and weird!

Name something you can't do but would like to do? knit...I am left handed and so far I have not been able to find anything that helps me figure it out. I found left handed directions once but they still did not make sense to me.

Was there anything as a child you really really wanted but never got? If so then what? I am the oldest of 3 girls...and our family was not poor but we were not rich either. I wanted clothes that others would wear...designer clothes and I didn't get those unless I bought them myself through saving up birthday money and baby sitting money then I could get them but even then it was a bit of a fight as my Mom just didn't see the need for something I would be growing out of as I was tall girl that just did not seem to stop growing until I reached high school.

If you alone could make and enact one law what would it be and why? I think right now it feels like the USA is having lots of freedoms taken away...with the patriot act, obscenity laws and so on. So I guess I would want a law that would allow more freedom....because it just feels like we are having a lot of freedoms taken away.

If you could stop one type of natural disaster from ever happening again what would it be? {Natural as in tornado's, hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunami's, fires started naturally such as by lightening, droughts, etc...} There are so many to choose from and I wish I could stop them all. Hurricanes of course is what came to mind first with it being so destructive recently. And so I guess that is what I would pick.

What is one thing {not a specific person} you enjoy more than most anything else in life? and why? creating art because it is very fulfilling.

If you could end world hunger or end wars which would you choose and why? world hunger....again hard to chose but I guess the pessimist in me says that even though I magically wave a wand and it ends wars -- that it won't that there will always be people that will fight. but for some reason ending hunger to me seems more realistic.

What do you miss about Ohio? I miss my friends.

Why don't you like your feet touched? It I believe goes to the tickling too...I can't stand to be tickled...I pretty much freak out. And the same goes with my feet...I hate having them touched. I am sure it goes back to my childhood and the abuse as he often used tickling as a way to "touch" -- so that is why I don't like my feet touched.

Why don't you use your real name online? Because my real name is unusual enough that if someone -- such as my parents or Master's co-workers -- did a search for Michael and my real name -- we would probably be one of the few people that came up. And so I go by danae - which really does fit me.

Do you have a guilty pleasure? Oh yes and it is about to start up again...Project Runway! It is a guilty pleasure. I caught on to it last season -- late -- actually they were doing one of those marathons after the season had ended and it was like the 3rd or 4th in the series....I was cleaning house and had it on and started to get hooked! so by the 6th I was pretty much recording them so I could watch them later fully! Well it is about to start back up again December 7th! Yay!

Tagged....3 Things Meme

Three things you like about yourself: eyes, hair, my self awareness

Three things you don't like about yourself: overly sensitive, dry skin (which used to be soft skin before I moved to Colorado), gray hair appearing

Three things that scare you: death before I feel it is time, being homeless, having an aneurysm

Three of your everyday essentials: talking to Master, hugs and kisses from Master, brushing my teeth

Three things you are wearing right now: a t-shirt, panties, and my stripy socks

Three of your favorite songs: Feels like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk, I still haven't found what I am looking for by U2, Imagine by John Lennon

Three things you want in a relationship: love, compatibility, M/s

Three things that turn you on: laughing, intelligence, confidence

Three things that turn you off: ignorance, tickling, teasing (certain types of teasing)

Two truths and a lie: Fall is my favorite season, I have moved 8 times from birth to 4 years old, I never want to go to NYC again

Three things you can't live without: diet coke, chocolate, art supplies

Three places you want to go on vacation: France, Italy, Ireland

Three things you just can't do: knit, make a pie crust, go out of the house without make up

Three kids names: McKenna, Cole, Emma

Three things you want to do before you die: travel,(going with Jewel's answer on this next one) witness a good US President in office full term, see Master realize his dreams

Three of your favorite musicians: U2, Coldplay, Lisa Gerrad

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you: eyes, laugh, self awareness (but these go for anyone I am attracted to)

Three of your favorite hobbies: baking, tarot, journaling

Three things you really want to do badly right now: sleep, have a cuppa tea, lotion my whole body as my skin is so dry

Three careers you're considering/you've considered: teacher, art historian, interior design

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy: be able to have sex without attachment, sometimes i communicate like a guy, ?

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
too emotional, i love to dress up, i like girly girl things

Friday, November 04, 2005

A Day Off....

A while back someone talked about having "a day off." Now her experiences and my experiences are very different as we are different people...just as a disclaimer that my views and thoughts on a day off will be different.

Since reading that entry I have thought about what if I had a day off. And I have come to the conclusion that I don't think I could truly have a day off from being Master's slave. I don't think I could turn off all the things I do to serve Master. I don't think I could turn off - the surrender and enslavement. Because they are just a part of my muscles -- they move to what needs to be done to serve and obey Master. It is always going in my mind....it is a constant of what do I need to do next in service to Master. I relax at times...but not just totally take a day off.

Yesterday Master went out of town and this subject popped into my mind because I was looking around the house taking a mental survey of what I wanted to do while Master was gone. And instead I decided to pour my glass of wine and relax. It was divine. I enjoyed it so much.

That does not mean I don't want to be Master's slave or serve Him. I am just saying that there are times I like to relax. I often think that is why my art is so important to me as it is one time that I can just fall into it and not think of too much. I still make sure Master has something to drink, ask him if he needs anything and if he calls me I drop what I am doing to do what he wants - in the midst of that art time. So again it does not completely turn off. It just stays idle in the background for a bit and the same goes with when I had the glass of wine last night.

I always feel like Master's slave no matter if I am relaxing and enjoying a glass of wine, creating art, doing my daily chores, in the grocery store, around his parents. I am always His.

Before I left for Servant's Retreat Master told me to relax and say what I wanted, what I needed and not to censor with the filter I have on always -- that I am Master's slave and so I represent him. And I appreciated him telling me that because I needed to hear it to be able to do that.

And because He wasn't there I think it was probably the closest I got to taking a day off. Because I was not being on attention of what He might need, what to be doing and so on.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Life Quiz

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:
7.3
Mind:
7.2
Body:
6.4
Spirit:
7.9
Friends/Family:
6.3
Love:
7.7
Finance:
6.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

firefly quiz

Inara
You are Inara, the registerred Companion. you are
sexy, sensual and skilled, yet have trouble
admitting to your emotions. You swing both
ways.


Which Firefly character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Top 50 Foods

Yanked from someone on LJ

The BBC asked people to vote for the top 50 things everyone should try a bite of in their lifetime. Bold the ones you've eaten. (even a bite counts, coward...) In addition, what would *you* personally add to this list? Post away.

The top 50
1. Fresh fish
2. Lobster
3. Steak
4. Thai food
5. Chinese food
6. Ice cream
7. Pizza
8. Crab
9. Curry
10. Prawns

11. Moreton Bay Bugs
12. Clam chowder
13. Barbecues
14. Pancakes
15. Pasta
16. Mussels
17. Cheesecake
18. Lamb

19. Cream tea
20. Alligator
21. Oysters
22. Kangaroo
23. Chocolate
24. Sandwiches
25. Greek food
26. Burgers
27. Mexican food
28. Squid
29. American diner breakfast

30. Salmon
31. Venison

32. Guinea pig
33. Shark
34. Sushi
35. Paella
36. Barramundi
37. Reindeer
38. Kebab
39. Scallops

40. Australian meat pie
41. Mango
42. Durian fruit
43. Octopus
44. Ribs
45. Roast beef

46. Tapas
47. Jerk chicken/pork
48. Haggis
49. Caviar
50. Cornish Pastry

You can see the article here.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/tv_and_radio/50eats_index.shtml
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