Sunday, December 31, 2006

A Look Back....November

Again....I didn't get to do a Winter Count this year. But going to do my version of Winter Count by going back into my archives and finding entries that touch me, are favorites, important to me or that month, or that just have some meaning to me.

So here is November (my version) Winter Count...

Really November wasn't a big blogging month for me either and I know that is because my depression was pretty heavy until the end of November. The day after Thanksgiving is actually when it started to lift and I became very excited about the holidays.

It was the month of elections. Master and I were glued to CNN that night. I did a post on Slavery and Politics as it is a questions I do get asked quite a bit on if he tells me how to vote.

I also then did a post on some of my SM interests.....I had done a poll over on livejournal and so it came out of that.

*********************


If I don't get a chance to post before midnight...I want to wish EVERYONE a VERY Happy New Year! I hope 2007 brings the best of everything to you!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

A Look Back....October

Again....I didn't get to do a Winter Count this year. But going to do my version of Winter Count by going back into my archives and finding entries that touch me, are favorites, important to me or that month, or that just have some meaning to me.

So here is October (my version) Winter Count...

Really October wasn't a big blogging month for me as we were out of town for 3 weeks and then when we came home I was sick for a week.

But October did mark my 6 year anniversary of blogging. And so I did my traditional quote for the entry from the Velveteen Rabbit about being real. For me blogging is about being real. It helps me stay on course and be true to myself....as my life is there in the print before my eyes. I have been told a many times my blog isn't a "true sex slave" blog because I don't write about sex or SM that much and well....then I guess I am not a "true" sex slave. But I am a slave in a Master/slave relationship and this is my real life....boring as it might seem to many out there. I am thankful it is my life.

Recently I had something happen that upset and shocked me. And after I read that quote again it made me thankful all over again for being real. My life isn't all roses and sunshine. It does have really spectacular times that just don't always write. As a friend said we tend to write when things rough and when things are going good we are offline having fun. But the last line is what really spoke to me today..."once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

I don't expect everyone to understand my relationship with Master. But I am thankful to those that accept it. And even a bigger thing...those that accept I know what is best for me and no one else can really know that...that is being real.

A Look Back....September

Again....I didn't get to do a Winter Count this year. But going to do my version of Winter Count by going back into my archives and finding entries that touch me, are favorites, important to me or that month, or that just have some meaning to me.

So here is September (my version) Winter Count...

Surreal - it is an entry about me having more "freedom" because I was driving more. Master had dislocated his knee the end of August so it kind of changed things around here a little bit and so this entry is about my feelings of driving and more freedom.

Gratitude Tuesdays - I started them this month and they are wonderful. I haven't been able to do them in a few weeks but I will get back to them! Thank you CeeCi for starting them!

Locks of Love - I donated my hair and it had a lot of different meanings for me but it was important!

Friday, December 29, 2006

A Look Back....August

Again....I didn't get to do a Winter Count this year. But going to do my version of Winter Count by going back into my archives and finding entries that touch me, are favorites, important to me or that month, or that just have some meaning to me.

So here is August (my version) Winter Count...

I started the Ask me Anything post in July and in August I was still answering the questions. And I also did a couple long posts answering some BDSM type questions.


BDSM questions from a group on Livejournal - Part 1 and Part 2

Who is your biggest crush at the moment and why?

"On your July 8th entry in your blog titled 'Here is where I am...', you had written that it was hard for both you and your Master when you were separated by distance, and that you had a lot of issues such as insecurity due to past baggage. I am just wondering, how did you get over those issues, and what helped you get over them?"

How do find the time to do everything?

Are you married to your Master? Do you have kids?

If you could give one piece of advice to new D/s couples what would that be?

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Quick Life Update...

I had something happen yesterday that still kind of has me reeling in shock. Master has been great....giving me lots of hugs and support. I think because of it though I have just been distant and spaced off holidailies until right now. I needed to do 2 August and September look back posts too and I just didn't get to it.

Life - other then the thing I started this post about - has been good. It has been really nice having lots of quality time with Master this holiday. We have never had that before as he worked a stressful job that took a lot out of him. So we both enjoyed just being together - no matter what we were doing.

We did some post Christmas sale shopping - leaving the house on the 26th just minutes before 7AM - yes we are insane! We got some good deals on things. We didn't find a couple things on our list though. I spent some of my Christmas money on new doll clothing. I got a princess dress with a tiara and a little polka dotted dress with a purple shrug.

Nothing else to really say tonight as I want to get back to art stuff - but did want to get my holidailies post in before at least midnight mountain time.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

A Look Back....July

Again....I didn't get to do a Winter Count this year. But going to do my version of Winter Count by going back into my archives and finding entries that touch me, are favorites, important to me or that month, or that just have some meaning to me.

So here is July (my version) Winter Count...

I did the Ask Me Anything Meme and so here are 2 entries with answers to questions that were asked....

As a child, what did you imagine your life would be like when you grew up? And what are some of the dreams/goals you hope to accomplish in your life?

Was your Master the first man you committed to outside of escorting? How did that come about? I mean, you meeting Him and then leaving that business? And I am always curious to hear how other people decide what party (if any) they identify themselves with. It seems your Master is also very strong in His political beliefs. Was He an influence on you, in yours? Or have you always identified the way you do?

And then I asked questions on Honorifics - it gave lots of discussion via livejournal, email and blogspot and then I did an entry answering my own questions.

Oh and one more that caused a lot ummm feedback....Not High Maintenance.

A Look Back....June

Again....I didn't get to do a Winter Count this year. But going to do my version of Winter Count by going back into my archives and finding entries that touch me, are favorites, important to me or that month, or that just have some meaning to me.

So here is June (my version) Winter Count...

My Poly Life Then and Now....Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 - A 4 part series on my thoughts of poly within a D/s relationship. I lived a household as a slave that was poly. It was a very interesting time in my life and gave me a lot of experience on what I feel is good for me in poly relationships.

Being All I Can Be - Some dominants see having a slave as blowjobs and maid service - period. And although I do those things, Master also sees that being a better person and fulfilling my dreams is a service to him. So being all I can be - is part of my service to him and he insists I do all I can to be a better person.

Making the Relationship Work - an old post to a yahoogroup

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

A Look Back....May

I didn't get to do a Winter Count this year. But going to do my version of Winter Count by going back into my archives and finding entries that touch me, are favorites, important to me or that month, or that just have some meaning to me.

So here is May (my version) Winter Count...

Everyday is Exactly the Same - Well looking at this very depressing entry some my say why is this entry important....really for me it was when I first acknowledged the depression again. Granted the month didn't start out well - as April ended with our friend dying and Master doing her memorial video. It was really emotionally draining for us. But 2006 has been a year of the BIG push for Master's business. We were just so focused on getting him there that we neglected ourselves...as individuals and a couple. We just were going, going, going and really focused on getting the business started that we didn't slow down and take care of ourselves. And that is what I read in that entry as well as the grieving of our friend.

But the everyday being exactly the same....and the talk of being a slave...is kind of like my look back in April. Being a slave isn't glamorous or all romantic hearts and flowers look at SM and often I feel people want it to be. And so reading my entries will be whatever comes to me at that moment and sometimes it might have SM (rare occasion these days though) and other times it is about spring cleaning the closets out. Excitement...? No, but it my life. I am here to enhance and serve him always and in all ways and a lot of that is cleaning, cooking, and being his girl Friday.

A Favorite Client - I was an escort and well this is describing one of my clients. This is entry does details and sex.

A Little Piece from Daily OM

With a new year about to emerge, spirituality is something I would like to focus on more this new year. Meditate more reguarly. Read daily OM - daily not doing a mass catch up on them. They make me feel more centered, remind me to be aware, and teach me about mySELF. I want to learn more and make Buddhism more of a daily awareness instead of a thing that is just there under the surface. And daily becoming more the person I want to BE.

So this is a good Daily OM for me today....

Growing Day by Day: "Becoming a better person in your own eyes is a whole-life project, and thus you should focus your step-by-step efforts on multiple areas of your existence. Since you likely know innately which qualities you consider good, growing as an individual is simply a matter of making an effort to do good whenever possible. Respect should be a key element of your efforts. When you acknowledge that all people are deserving of compassion, consideration, and dignity, you are naturally more apt to treat them in the manner you yourself wish to be treated. You will intuitively become a more active listener, universally helpful, and truthful. Going the extra mile in all you do can also facilitate evolution. Approaching your everyday duties with an upbeat attitude and positive expectations can help you make the world a brighter, more cheerful place. Finally, coming to terms with your values and then abiding by them will enable you to introduce a new degree of integrity and dignity into your life."

Monday, December 25, 2006

A Very Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

I just turned my computer on for the first time about 20 minutes ago. It has been a wonderful Christmas. Last night Master and I had an amazing dinner....stuffing ourselves with all the yummy things on the table and drinking a bottle of mead. It was really perfect with the ham. It did make me a little tipsy and I was a wee-bit more flirty then I have been in a while. It was fun though. After cleaning up, we went and looked at lights. This years theme seemed to be cut out lighted palm trees (yes veil that made me think of you). One of our Christmas presents to ourselves was a new dvd storage unit. The one we have now is wide so takes up most of the hallway where we store it and we ran out of space in it awhile ago. So Master and I put the new one together last night. And then headed to bed as we were both tired and wanted Santa to visit our house.

This morning Master and I both woke up really early so we said why not get up. So we did....and Santa did an amazing job on our stockings! Lots and lots of goodies....one being Godiva chocolates for me. Yum! After we opened our stockings we got the kitty cats going on their stockings. We got them some new toys and replaced nip packets in some of their other toys but their favorite toys...were the stir straws that I put in there at the last moment remembering we had a packet up of them in their cupboard. So the thing that was free basically is the thing that they enjoyed the most. figures!

We had some cinnamon rolls for breakfast and then we opened packages. Our stockings had been a surprise this morning but our gifts we both gifts together this year the storage unit but also tons of movies. The day after thanksgiving had really good movie sales - 3.50 to 10 dollars and so we really stocked up. After opening gifts there was a knock on our door....it was the postman he had a gift for us from my favorite girlie and her Sir. It was very fun receiving a gift on Christmas! Thank you girlie and Sir - Master and I love the gifts!

One of my gifts was the Alias DVD set - all 5 seasons. Master and I had watched all of season 4 on TV except the last episode of season 4. So this morning we watched that and then watched the first episode of season 5! And then another episode tonight. WOW! (Can't wait to see where you are at with the season Mandy...I can't believe the first episode OMG!) We also watched the first part of the Chronicles of Riddick and will watch the 2nd part after I am done posting.

It really was a relaxing day...we watched movies and Alias, ate yummy food, and napped!

The best part of the day was captured in words that Master wrote in a card he gave me....really our gift is the gift of being togehter and taking this journey together. So today I was with the man I love and enjoyed another perfect day...it was the perfect gift....being together.

I hope everyone had a magical Christmas full of love and joy!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Santa Claus is Coming to Town....

  • All the presents are wrapped and under the tree. Stockings waiting for Santa to fill them.
  • Dinner is in the oven. Hopefully done about 5:30pm. Bottle of wine chilling. Goodies on the table that we have been snacking on.
  • We saw a postal worker out today. She was delivering packages. With the snow storms here in Colorado I am sure there are a lot of people waiting for Christmas packages. So on a Sunday they were delivering packages. I heard also they will deliver tomorrow too.
  • We had a marvelous brunch full of fresh fruit, pastries, hashbrowns, made your way omelets and mimosas - yum!
  • Fist me this Christmas song - You Tube
  • It was Global Orgasm for Peace Day on Friday....did you participate?
  • Master is still deciding if we can open a few presents tonight....I hope hope hope we can
  • Been listening to Christmas carols all day! Singing as I cooked.
  • I know I say it often but I don't feel I can say it enough how blessed I am to be loved by Master.
  • Also I have so many good friends. I am very grateful for all the support and acceptance you give me. Thank you for your friendship!
I want to wish everyone a VERY Merry Christmas! I hope you have a holiday full of love, laughter and the magic of the season!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Holiday Randomness...

  • Sound of Music is on....it is a favorite musical of mine. I love the music and sing along to it.
  • There is a song that plays this time of year that always always makes me cry. It is The Christmas Shoes by Newsong (link to lyrics). I hadn't heard it this year until just the other night while wrapping gifts. And of course I had to reach for kleenex.
  • Silly Christmas link....Mt. Dew Christmas Tree
  • Yes! A wonderful Christmas gift *giggle*
  • Been cleaning house most of the day as I have neglected it with the holiday preparations.
  • I was just thinking yesterday while unloading the dishwasher that I have had lots of depression this year but I can honestly say this Christmas I haven't felt it. The holidays can get me blue and this year doesn't seem to have hit me that hard. I had some sad moments but not depression - if that makes sense.
  • Master just called me into this office. He has video tape his Dad took of when Master got one of his cats for Christmas. She is just a little kitten and she is so her. All the things that make her darned adorable now were there in the video of her from her baby days.
  • Well going to go find my slippers because my feet are cold. And then maybe fold clothes...I know the excitement is too much!
  • But tomorrow will be good - we are going to brunch to one of our favorite places, then deliver presents. Tomorrow night will be a nice dinner followed by going out to look at Christmas lights.
  • Birthday Wishes....



    It is one of my bestest friend's birthday today!
    Happy Birthday!
    Moni, I hope you had a wonderful birthday celebrating the fabulous YOU!

    Friday, December 22, 2006

    Recent Searches


    Two searches that come up with my blog....during the holidays:
    Santa's sex slave
    a slave's christmas

    (btw kaya comes up for a slave's christmas too)

    Holiday Shopping

    Okay so I went to the mall this morning (for stocking stuffers), came home, mentioned to Master there were several other things I could have got him. His response was he had been thinking the same thing for me...so he suggested we head out again this afternoon. OMG OMG OMG! Target...I love target normally but this afternoon it was insane. I am so thankful I don't have to go out tomorrow because I bet it will be even crazier. WOW! Really all the people were freaking me out a little bit. It was very claustrophobic because every where you moved there were people. Master thankfully picked up some pineapple juice while he was out. So right now I am enjoying an amaretto and pineapple (which sounds gross but is oh so good).

    I am really looking forward to just hanging out the next few days and enjoying each other. Master is going to wrap gifts and I am going to work on some art stuff. I am opening up two posts over on my livejournal a phone post and a photo post. I will close them up in about a week.

    Photo post has pictures of goodies, kitty cats and some magnets I made.
    Voice post is about a little boy I encountered today shopping.

    Thursday, December 21, 2006

    Holiday Movies

    I am not sure what to write about tonight. I am just really tired. I can't wait for the 24th because then we can just relax and enjoy the rest of the holidays. Today we went and got groceries for dinner on the 24 and 25. Tomorrow I have some stocking stuffer shopping to do and we have to deliver some goodies to friends.

    So to answer one of the prompts on Holidailies...

    "Movies you enjoy watching most this month."

    One of my favorites and just to me sums up the holiday spirit is....Miracle on 34th Street. The older version is my favorite. I have watched it a few times already - once just the other night while wrapping gifts. I also have Television Christmas Classic DVD set that I enjoy watching. The version of Rudolph in the set is my favorite. The island of misfits, Hermey who wants to be a dentist. What is not to love with those kind of characters? And then...last but not least is Polar Express. We have it on DVD and we will maybe watch it tomorrow or Saturday night.

    Wednesday, December 20, 2006

    A Look Back...April

    Okay so I am doing my version of Winter Count for April. April was a busy month of travel for Master. And I went through lots of ups and downs but really tried to focus on positives. And the month ended with a tragic death of a friend. So April was a hard month.

    Here are 2 of entries of note...
    Whatever Happened to Everyday Life? - One of the biggest "complaints" I get is that I don't talk about the SM enough. And I guess I don't see what is wrong with life...all of life. Master and I are who we are together and sometimes the SM and other things that others might say "make" us Master/slave aren't that noticeable because we are just this way....doing this as we have for almost 4 years so it is our life. Anyway, SM isn't the end all be all of our relationship. It certainly isn't what makes us who we are as Master/slave.

    Happy Easter - It is the post where I announce Master and I did BDSM Easter Eggs. As Master said we are surely going to hell for being so wicked!

    Tuesday, December 19, 2006

    Art Exhibition....

    I got some good news tonight. Master was giving me a high five when I got the email. He really wanted me to do this. Southwest Leather Conference is having as a part of their event an art exhibition. Friday was the deadline to submit things and I did. Tonight I got an email saying they accepted 2 of my pieces. I submitted a mix media triptych and a mix media painting. So that was my excitement tonight!

    Hopefully I have time to do a longer entry tomorrow.

    Monday, December 18, 2006

    A Look Back....March

    My March winter count has 2 entries. I actually didn't blog much in March. Not sure why but I didn't.

    Losing my Identity
    To Clarify

    As a slave it can be easy to assume and frankly easy for me to slip into the I am losing my identity because it can be extremely intense at time. But putting him before everything...that is my identity. I am a slave. And I am owned and that is who I am above all else.

    I am other things and those things at times get shoved aside at times. Just like anyone else....we have to at time allow one part of our interests be stronger then the others..our career side, our family side, our hobbies...and what not.

    Positive Monday - December 17

    5 Good things in my life...

    1) We are home.
    2) That our kitty cats were happy to see us (well happy to see Master more - but they did acknowledge me lol)
    3) Chinese take out for dinner!
    4) We are home. Yes it is on this list 2 times but it is so nice to be home!
    5) A pretty tree lite up in the living room!

    Sunday, December 17, 2006

    Just a quick update....

    We made it to Denver yesterday and head back home tomorrow. Just a quick trip this time. The snow has been hitting the mountains today though so I hope it clears out before we hit the road tomorrow.

    Today I got to go to a few stores here that I enjoy. I bought some nice stuff and got some ideas for upcoming presents and such.

    We have had a nice time although it was quick. We will be back longer next month though. Maybe we can make plans to get together with some friends of ours over on this side of the mountains...we haven't seen them in a while and we always enjoy our time with them.

    I just wanted to sign on and do a quick entry. I am still on time for my time zone but not for the Holidailies time zone I don't think.

    More to come...hopefully more interesting tomorrow.

    Saturday, December 16, 2006

    Holiday Music

    I love holiday music. If I could - I would - probably play it all year around. But the day after Thanksgiving is when I drag all my holiday cds out. I think I have at least 50 (maybe more). I have everything from religious to the 80’s Holiday cd with bands. I love the Band Aide song, “Do they know it’s Christmas?” One of my favorites though and it really doesn’t matter who performs it is “Grown Up Christmas.” Or "I'll be home for Christmas."

    We are about to leave for our trip so just wanted to at least get a quick entry in.

    Friday, December 15, 2006

    Umm...Tired...


    Tired.
    Going out of town in the morning.
    Frosted the sour cream cookies tonight and then topped them with little holiday sprinkles – Christmas trees, snowflakes, gingermen, snowmen, and candy canes.
    Tired.
    Mailed bunches of holiday packages.
    Need to pack and gather things for leaving tomorrow.
    Tired.
    Going to take some pictures of holiday treats. And then pack.

    That’s it for tonight. No More Brain Power!

    Thursday, December 14, 2006

    'Tis the Season to be Busy

    I will do another look back tomorrow night. But for now I thought I would do a little life update and some commentary to a quote.

    Right now life is extremely busy...'tis the season right? We were suppose to leave for a trip today, but well Master has some sad news this week. A friend died so we are delaying our trip. We will be leaving on Saturday. Things we did/doing this week: finished Christmas shopping, baking, more baking, making jar mixes for gifts, getting packages ready to mail and...oh and did I mention baking. My Christmas baking includes: Festive Bark (almond bark with pretzels and M&M's mixed in), peppermint bark, chocolate fudge, maple fudge, chocolate caramels, Cardamom cutout cookies drizzled with espresso glaze and dark chocolate, sour cream cookies, molasses cookies, and chocolate chip cookies with peppermint bark. For jar mixes I did hot cocoa (amaretto and french vanilla), brownies (with white chocolate and coconut), Cranberry, white chocolate cookies, and then M&M Chocolate Chip cookies.

    kaya wrote this a while back but I related to it a lot:"Years ago I used to fantasize about being a slave, like a lot of people who read me tell me they do. And now, I fantasize about not being a slave..lol. I used to have this romanticized vision of being an owned woman, controlled and obedient.. and now I have a romanticized vision of having a job and having friends and being normal."

    I know once upon a time I had a very romantic version of what D/s was...what being a slave was about...I got caught up in that submission is a gift and slaves are cherished precious property and should be treated as such. And well although Master loves me and views me as valuable property there is not all the hearts and flowers that I read of in stories. Being a slave - for me - is a lot of hard work and putting him first always and in all ways. And some days that is harder then I would like to admit. Some days going back to my previous days in my life...of hanging out with friends - shopping and dinner sounds great. And not that Master wouldn't let me do that...but my mindset is totally different now and even when I have done things with friends the mind is always whats next. And so it isn't the same as before.

    Looked at time....I need to get going and finish addressing packages...

    But one last thing...although hanging out with friends and doing what I want sounds nice...I wouldn't trade serving Master. I am his and I want to his for as long as he will have me.

    Wednesday, December 13, 2006

    A Look Back....February

    This look back version of Winter Count....is for February. It was a month of looking back for me - the posts are graphic and I suggest those that coming from Holidailies please understand that is it was a long time ago and although I struggled with it. It is a part of me.

    But first before those posts is from our anniversary....
    Mush Ahead...Claimed

    History Revisited - This is just a post linking to other past history posts.

    History: Don & Mike Part 1 - If you read any of the previous post links then you now know who about Don. Mike was a housemate of Don and he also worked at the same place Don and I did. I really liked Mike. He and I got a long great and he made me laugh.

    History: Don & Mike Part 2
    History: Don & Mike Part 3 (a)
    History: Don & Mike Part 3 (b)
    History: Don & Mike Part 4 (a)
    History: Don & Mike Part 4 (b)
    Q&A about Don

    A Look Back....January.

    Tuesday, December 12, 2006

    A Look Back....January

    I don't have the time to do a Gratitude Tuesday today. (yes I am pouting as I type that). So I thought I would do a quick idea I had come up with that I can do easily while out of town the end of this week.

    I posted the other day that I wasn't going to be able to do a Winter Count. But I did decide I would go back and find some entries that are my favorites, important to me or evoke some emotion that makes it special to me - for each month in 2006.

    So here is my own version of a Winter Count for January...

    Reminders of Place - this entry stirred a lot of umm vocal opinions via email from people reading it here on my blogger. Again I don't feel just because a person needs reminders - it is a bad thing. I just feel for me it would seem like Master is serving me and that would make us both feel out of sorts.

    Another entry...

    Moment to Cherish - this is just an entry that I look at and smile. Master makes me smile and laugh often.

    Monday, December 11, 2006

    Positive Monday - December 11

    5 good things in my life...

    1. Shopping for Christmas presents. I found things for my Mom and sisters that I think they will enjoy.
    2. Spending lots of time in my studio and actually creating some Christmas presents.
    3. Mail Love - We got LOTS of Christmas cards in the mail today. And also a package.
    4. Migraine went away late this afternoon!
    5. After a hard day for Master, he is sound asleep...and I hope getting some rest.

    Holiday Meme

    1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Chocolate
    2. Does Santa wrap the presents or just set them under the tree? Santa puts them in our stockings unwrapped. When I was a little kid though he put them in our stockings unwrapped but also a few wrapped under the tree.
    3. Colored or white lights on the tree/house? Colored - red on tree. None on the house
    4. Do you hang mistletoe? no
    5. When do you put up your decorations? Dec 7 - right after Master's birthday.
    6. What is your favorite holiday dish? hmmm not sure....just some of the goodies my Mom and Grandma make like Lesfe or Fattigmanns
    7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? One I already described at the end of this entry.
    8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa ? hmm I don't recall. I guess though I still believe in Santa just a version that there is magic and things to believe in although you don't always see them/it.
    9. Do you open gifts on Christmas Eve? Growing up my family opened them on Christmas Eve. Master's family does them Christmas morning though so that is what we do.
    10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Red lights, ribbon garland and lots of ornaments that have meaning to us. Like Master has several drum ornaments that he was given over the years because he is a drummer. He has some that his Grandmother made. I have some from my childhood and then gifts from my sisters and friends over the years.
    11. Snow! Love or Dread it? like it....I have good memories of it. But i don't like being cold now
    12. Can you ice skate? Maybe....I haven't in many many many years.
    13. Do you remember your favorite gift? None are standing out to me.
    14. What is the most important thing about the Holidays for you? family...Christmas spirit for me is family. I love spending Christmas with Master alone but I also miss my family a lot this time of year.
    15. Favorite holiday dessert? no dessert just lots of goodies....pecan pie bars and the things I mentioned above...oh and sour cream cookies
    16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? just being together....enjoy time together....seeing the magic and spirit of the season.
    17. What tops your tree? nothing at the moment as the star we bought last year is too heavy for it.
    18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving
    19. What is your favorite Christmas song? Grown Up Christmas List or I'll Be Home for Christmas
    20. Candy Canes? Sure

    Sunday, December 10, 2006

    Tree Decorating Adventures

    We finally got the tree decorated today. I brought over the tins that have the ornaments in them. I have a ton of Christmas tins that I use to put baked goods. When I pack up the Christmas stuff I put ribbon garland in one tin, ornaments and just other little Christmas odds and ends. And I lifted a few ornaments out of a tin....a scream emerged from me... that the whole neighborhood heard...

    My fingers wrapped around...


    ....the ribbon garland!

    One of our cats was in the living room he looked at me and you could tell he thought "what is it that she has in her hand that has made her scream so...it must be horrible." He stalked over to me very cautiously and then sniffed the ribbon in my hand. He looked up at me cocking his head and again you could tell he was thinking no that I can't be what I am smelling. So he sniffed the ribbon again. He looked up at me saying in his cat meows "you do know this is the ribbon garland you have been looking for several days right. You should be happy." And then walked away like "okayyy she has lost it - AGAIN"

    See when I looked in this tin before it just looked like it was well packed with ornaments but under the ornaments was the ribbon on their spools. So now we have not only ribbon garland but we have the garland I got at Target last night that is gold with little sparkly stars on it. They actually look good together because the ribbon has cold in it.

    I am such a dork sometimes. I could have saved myself a lot of trouble if I had just emptied out each tin. Oh well...live and learn and now the tree is up and looks very pretty.

    PS: if you didn't read my last entry this one probably didn't make much sense to you...but basically I think you are getting the gist that I misplaced the ribbon garland and went to 3 stores yesterday trying to find something to replace it. I didn't find ribbon I liked so we ended up getting sparkly gold garland with little stars on it.

    Late....

    Well it is 10 minutes late according to Mountain time...

    I got caught up in making Christmas gifts tonight and lost track of time. Which is good thing as I have been having some fear in regards to art lately...fear of the what ifs. But I have seem to gotten past it...at least starting on my way to getting past it. I made lots of little gift stuff and it has helped me so maybe I will be able to move on to some bigger pieces.

    Tonight we had to run around to several places as the garland we usually do on our tree was not in the Christmas decoration boxes. So we went to 3 places and didn't find what we wanted but got something that will do at least for this year.

    Tomorrow we will finish decorating the tree - right now it just has lights on it. It has been actually kind of pretty that way. But we will put the rest of the decorations on it tomorrow. Then Monday I will bake and work on more Christmas gifts. Tuesday I think we will go out and shop. And then Wednesday bake more. Thursday we leave to go out of town until Sunday - but I should be able to do some quick updates from out to town.

    Friday, December 08, 2006

    2006 in Review

    Last year I decided to take part in Wintercount that I found via Danger and Mayhem: The Winter Count was a Native American tradition that helped keep the history of the tribe before they had written records. It usually consisted of pictographs showing major events from the year. Each year, when the new winter count was done, the person responsible for the count would tell the story of the previous counts, passing it down to the next generation, and then filling in new images and stories for the year that had just passed. You can see more examples of Winter Counts in the Library of Congress archives.

    And don't feel I can do justice a post for each month so this is a year in review of sorts...

    January
    ~ My parents came to visit. We had a nice visit.
    ~ Master bought lots of equipment that really got him started on his path to quitting his job.
    ~ Lots of dentist appointments for me.
    ~ Obsessed with Project Runway.


    February
    ~ Celebrated 3 years with Master!
    ~ Unfortunately a really bad month for migraines - some of my worst ever


    March
    ~ nothing really of significance except Master and I had bad colds

    April
    ~ a friend of ours died

    May
    ~ our friend dying affected not only grieving for her loss but Master seeing he needed to live his life and pursue his passion. So he made the decision that he would be giving notice to his job and start his own business

    June
    ~ beginning of June Master gave his notice
    ~ I worked on lots of art

    July
    ~ Master's "retirement" from his job and the start of his business

    August
    ~ Master had lots of work with his new business right away
    ~ I had lots of work with his new business
    ~ Master hurt his knee
    ~ admitting I was depressed to myself

    September
    ~ I made a big step forward in putting myself out there as an artist
    ~ Donated my hair to locks of love

    October
    ~ We went on a trip and were gone for almost 3 weeks
    ~ My Grandmother turned 90
    ~ I had my birthday and turned 39
    ~ discussions of depression and being burnt out

    November
    ~ Some upswings on the depression so that was a good thing

    December
    Well it is still going on but it will turn out to be a very good month!

    (ps: the photos are my art - not great photos of them...I need to start asking Master to take pictures of them.)

    Thursday, December 07, 2006

    André the Giant Twin

    I watched the Princes Bride the other night. That is a great movie that I could watch a million times and never get sick of it. I am a dork...because lately after I watch a movie I will then watch it with the commentary on the next time. And so I did that with the Princess Bride. I like the fun little things they tell you in the commentary. Anyway, I was listening to Rob Reiner talk about André the Giant and it gave me memories of something from my past.

    When I was young and in college, I worked 3 jobs and went to school full time for one semester (next semester cut back and only worked one job and got a loan to pay for the rest of school). I worked as a clerk in a baby store, a hotel desk clerk, and a waitress. I worked during the summer before as a maid in the hotel and the general manager and his wife who worked there too liked me so they asked me if I would like a job at the front desk. I said yes right away - being a maid is hard work. They had a hotel that was comparable to Quality or Comfort Inn. I enjoyed the work for the most part as I was able to study on week nights when it was slow. After a while the owners ended up buying a motel out by the truck stops too. It had been a Budget Inn. Anyway, they were having problems finding someone to work out there. And so they asked me. Really it was close to where I lived because it was off the interstate so it was just a jump on the interstate and 3 exits and I was there. I told them I would try it out. I was a little nervous about being so far out there. Although it was close to home by interstate really the motel it self was set kind of away from the other things in the area of the truck stop.

    And it was a sleazy motel. I mean it was clean but it was obviously been around for quite some time so worn with age. It was geared towards those that wanted cheap clean room. People staying at the motel were mostly truckers. It once had a bar but there were too many fights so they closed that down. They had a little grocery area with chips, deodorant, toothbrushes, books, magazines and such. They sold dirty magazines and they also...rented porn movies. This was all in the lobby and so anything they bought they had to come pay for at the front desk. The porn movies were a hit with the truck drivers, but it had an umm a side affect of sorts for me. I got hit on ALL the time.

    They would watch one porn, come back turn that one in, then rent another one and proceed to hit on me in between the movies. Heck it should have been obvious to me that would happen but really the first time it happened....I was stunned. They just watched a porn, got turned on, here is a girl behind the desk ready to rent them another one....she is not bad to look at...long hair, blue eyes, fairly chesty...so of course they need to "believe" she will have sex if they ask. Some of the comments and remarks were more graphic then suggestive. I had a few that would call down to the front desk while they watched a porn and hit on me - begging me come down and have sex with them. I had some call the front desk and breath hard and grunt as they orgasmed.

    I discussed many times with my boss that I couldn't do it anymore. It was never flattering. It usually just annoyed me or at times made me nervous. Because some did get overly graphic and assertive.

    Okay so what does this have to do with the Princess Bride and André the Giant, I am sure you are asking. One of the truckers that stayed at the hotel was a guy that not only looked like André the Giant in the face but was as big as him. The first time I met him, my bosses wife was working the front counter. My shift was going to start in about 15 minutes. And this huge man comes in and she introduces me and he is totally sweet and nice to her. But I felt like something was off and it had nothing to do with his size. I just felt like it was facade the being sweet and nice. He immediately made a comment to me about how pretty I was...and he was going to look forward to checking in now with me here. The way he said it gave me shivers down my back.

    He was a regular customer. Every week he came in. He would chat with me. The twin would come in and lean over the counter - and because he was as big as André the Giant so he would be right on top of me. I would have to back up and there wasn't a lot room behind the counter. He would be a few inches from my face. He would often grab my hand or wrist when I tried to move down the counter away from him. He was very direct in telling me he wanted me to have sex with me. He was graphic in detail of how and what "we" would do together. He scared me. I just never felt right. It wasn't flattering.

    What I never understood is why he never just laid off the comments, grabbing me, and such. He never crossed the line of....sexually grabbing me or anything like that but he was very graphic and still grabbed my wrist or hand. Maybe he could sense I was uncomfortable...maybe he thought I would give in....I don't know. I do know that he made me uncomfortable enough that I found a new job.

    Wednesday, December 06, 2006

    His Birthday

    Today was Master's birthday so we just spent the day together relaxing...a little morning fun followed by breakfast and then really the day was mostly spent snuggled up on the couch watching movies/dvds. We watched the last episode (disc 1) of Colonial House, Transporter 2 and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and about to go watch an episode or two of Alias. We also did a little shopping and had dinner out. I had Seafood Alfredo that I am sure went straight to my hips and thighs with all its creamy goodness. At home tonight then I made brownie sundaes complete with candles for Master to make a wish. Master said he had a great birthday. And that makes me happy. I wanted his day to be wonderful.

    Birthday Wishes....



    Master, I don't have the words to adequately describe how awe-inspiring and remarkable you are...so I hope today we celebrate YOU...the wonderfully fabulous YOU in away that will show you. I love you very much! Happy Birthday Master!

    Tuesday, December 05, 2006

    Gratitude Tuesday - F



    ~F~

    Family - I am very grateful to my family. I don't always agree with them. I don't always understand them but they are family. I love them very much. I have good memories that really show me the meaning of the family. That include my biological family and my chosen family. My chosen family is one that understands me on levels that my family just can't. They accept me in times when my family although loves me doesn't always accept me for who I am. And my chosen family does.

    Friends - I have many friends and I am blessed by their support and just friendship. I am grateful for all that do and have done for me.

    Food - I am grateful for food...yep I am...it nourishes me when I am lacking energy or a certain vitamins, it comforts me, it is an passion too...creating and sharing the things I cook with others.

    Fucking - Well this is an adult blog...and I am thankful for a good fucking. It is not the same as sex to me or making love. It is primal and raw. It is touching in an animalistic way. Well at least it is for me. It is hard and rough usually. And it is something oh I do enjoy! (BTW fisting would be on this list I am sure - but unfortunately it is not something we have done yet.)

    Fellatio - Well again...this is an adult blog. And I do like to give blow jobs. I like them to start off slow. I love it when the cock is soft - that initial feelings of a cock growing hard in my mouth is just so delightful.

    Flogging - I do enjoy a good flogging. It is not something Master and I do often. But I used to get it done by some very good people in my old community. Oh for a good flogging yes I am grateful for the feelings it gave me and allowed me to release....that masochistic side.

    Fabulous
    - I am thankful for the word fabulous because there are just so many fabulous things in this world from incense that makes the house smell fabulous to fabulous curvy women who are wonderful eye candy. Fabulous!

    Female - I am grateful to be female. I love being a woman.

    Future - I am grateful to be able to look forward to our future. We have goals and dreams that we are working towards for our future.

    Falling - I am grateful for falling although it probably pains me to say that. But it is true. I am grateful for falling so that I learned how to try again and keep trying.

    Faces - I love faces. I have a thing for faces. I love the all the different looks...each unique. Some hard and worn with age and hard work. Others innocent, soft just starting their journey through life.

    Fur Babies - we have 2 kitty cats that our babies. I love and adore them. My ex-husband and I had a dog that I miss very much. I think of her everyday.

    Fairy Tales - Princess and dreams! I am grateful to dream and escape through Fairy tales.

    Monday, December 04, 2006

    Positive Monday - December 4th

    I try to do a Positive Monday as Monday's often seem to a hard day of the week.

    So here are 5 good things in my life...

    1. Mail Love - Mail Love was in abundance! I got a package from my favorite girlie stuffed full of recipes, a cookbook and magnetic "paper" dolls that are gingerboy and girl. They have little pieces to decorate them and are just too adorable for words. I can't wait to get them up they will be great when I am baking, while something is in the oven I can play! I also got a few other things from girlie and her Sir. Thank you both so much it was very sweet of you guys!

    Last year my family did up a big package for Master and I. In it was one little special package to open every day until Christmas. Last year there was gourmet hot cocoa packets, M&M's, slipper socks, notepads and such. Well they decided to do the same thing again this year and so we have opened 4 gifts: recipe cards & holder that have candy canes on them, holiday spatulas, 2 magnetic notepads, holiday sprinkles for cookies and baked goods, little holiday paper cupcake liners, and a ceramic spoon holder. It is very thoughtful of my family and Master and I get such a kick out of it. It is fun to see what they came up with and it is nice to feel their love through their extraordinary thoughtfulness.

    2. Birthdays - Master's birthday is coming up this week and so I am excited about it and happy to be celebrating Him. He is a wonderful man that daily I see all the reasons I fell in love with him. And how lucky I am to be his slave. I know this past year was a hard year but exciting at the same time. I love you Master!

    3. Comments and emails - I want to thank the people who have left comments and sent me emails on my last entry. It was hard entry to write as it was personal and made me very nostalgic for Christmas' past. So thank you for the comments and emails telling me how it touched you. Thank you!

    4. Water - I have been drinking so much water today. It is good and refreshing.

    5. Warm clothes - Thermals, cuddl duds, soft sweaters, sueded cotton sweatshirt, long sleeve thick t-shirts from Eddie Bauer (that I have had for 13 years and still in great condition), wool socks, knitted socks, fleece purple bathrobe... all items that keep me warm when it is Oh so cold here!

    Sunday, December 03, 2006

    the magical little things

    This entry is prompted by the question the "Sunny or snowy: Which makes for the better holiday season, and why?" I will be answering the question in a round about fashion through stories and memories of my childhood that could really take up several pages as I have many good Christmas memories.

    I was born in North Dakota. When I tell people that, most say, "Oh I have been there. I went to Mount Rushmore...the Black Hills...the Badlands" and so on...never actually naming a place in North Dakota. I believe a lot of people lump North and South into one place or forget that there is even a North Dakota. But I was born in North Dakota and lived there until I was 10 years old. And I still have family that lives there.

    When I tell them that the places they listed are South Dakota they usually then get the light bulb moment of 4th grade geography lessons coming back and give me a look as if they had just been smacked with a cold wind and ask me if I liked living there. And my answer to them is a resounding happy YES! As a child it was so much fun and that main reason: SNOW. There was so much to do because of the snow in winter - ice skating, snowmobile riding, cross country skiing, sledding, hockey, making snow forts, snow angels, snowballs! And drinking lots of hot chocolate in that mix too!

    My parents were involved in lots of organizations in our small small town. And so they had lots of parties and functions to go and many involved the kids coming too. They would hold parties at the local ice skating rink in the winter. It would close down for the evening to be available only to those in organization. We would skate, have good food, hot cocoa mixed with lots of fun and friendship. A family friend of ours had a big cabin on the lake. They had an annual holiday party there. Some of the men would go out ice fishing on the frozen over lake. Their cabin had a big hill next to it that would was perfect for sledding which occupied all the children. There would be a dozen snowmobiles there, cross country skis, snowshoes and everything else would ever need for winter time fun. There was roaring fire in the cabin so you could warm up and dry off before going to the next activity. There was so much laughter and fun. I always looked forward to those parties. More winter fun was had in my neighborhood though too as our block had a lot of kids on it. We were always building snow forts and having snowball fights. I don't have a memories with snow that doesn't bring me warm happy feelings.

    The holidays in North Dakota always involved snow. I don't recall ever going without a White Christmas when I lived there. My Mom loves Christmas - she decorates, bakes, shares stories and it is just a very special time of love and family. And I know she got that from her Mom. When I was little, we would spend Christmas Eve at my Mom's parents. They lived on a modest but wonderful farm. We celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve. My Grandparents farmhouse didn't have fireplace and I remember at a very young age worried that Santa wouldn't have a way into the house. Christmas Eve at my Grandparents involved a big homemade dinner with food from taken from our heritage, church after dinner - all dressed up in our Christmas best, then home to read the Christmas Bible story of Jesus' birth, sing some Christmas Carols, open presents and then have snacks and goodies.

    My Grandparents attended a small country church that looked like something from a Christmas greeting card with the snow all around it, lights shining through the stain glass windows. Inside the church, it was also picture perfect poinsettias spread through out the church, as well as candles, and then Christmas trees decorated in angel ornaments and white lace garland. The service we would light candles and sing lots of Christmas carols. After the children were given a big bag of sugary hard candies...the old fashioned ribbon candy in bright Christmas colors. Making us all even more hyper then just being excited waiting for Santa's arrival.

    My Mom's family is good size that we would take more then one car to church. And so Grandpa would often sneak out early, but as child I NEVER picked up on that. See as a little girl, I would come home to reindeer hoof prints and Santa boot prints in the yard. And more Santa snow boot prints in the house. Cookies that had been set out for Santa would be gone and carrots left for Dasher and Dancer and the rest of the reindeer were half eaten in the yard. And sure enough when I went running into the house there would be presents from Santa under the tree.

    It is a wonderful Christmas memory....a favorite memory of mine. And I say mine as my sisters didn't really get to experience it like I did because my Grandfather died at a young age. So I cherish those memories as I am lucky to have known him and lucky to have such a good memory of my Santa.

    It's memories like these that set the tone for all of my Christmases. Even though one might forget about those "little things" like Santa's boot prints or the half-eaten carrots in the yard - I'll never forget them. It's these important things, the fact that my Grandfather left church a little early to give his granddaughter something something special and magical.

    Magic.

    That's what the season is about. Taking those precious moments to express your love and friendship to someone you care about. Whether it's finding that very special gift, or making a handmade card, the phone call in the middle of the day or the email that just says simply "I love you." It's my way to share how much I love those that I'm surrounded by.

    So Christmas time is that special time of year when you just remind them of how wonderful they really are and how they have a special place in my heart that makes me feel the magic of love.

    Saturday, December 02, 2006

    A little look at the neurotic side of me...

    Tonight we are going to a party...it is Holiday party.. And it is a party where I do like the company of several of the people, but it still doesn't matter because I am still nervous. Internally my brain is kind spinning out of control - please I was getting neurotic about it last night. Once I get there it will be better..it will..honest it will. Well...I still will be nervous but not this much.

    This always happens to me before entering these type of situations. I was sitting here thinking about when I was in grade school, then junior high and so on...I always have been this way. When I was married, my husband and I entertained quite a bit and I was always freaking out right before it. Even when I was a social butterfly in Cleveland...I still almost would get sick to my stomach before going out. No matter how long I had known the people....well I take that back...parties that it was just the core group of good friends I never felt nervous about going. But if there were more then that group then I would get nervous. But again I was a social butterfly doing things with friends nightly at one point in my life. So although it happened...it seemed easier to deal with - at times. I do remember a few times where it was horrible horrible and a former partner got an awful lot of neurosis thrown his way. Master has had to deal with that too unfortunately.

    So I don't think I was less nervous in Cleveland, but I am at a point in my life with Master where I don't have a lot of social interaction and so I feel I fumble over my words and never know what to say to make small talk. I read, I am interested in politics and daily current events, I love music, movies, art, food, wine but when in the moment I just never know what to say. I had some good conversations last year, but I also had about 3 glasses of wine.

    When I lived in Cleveland, it seemed I was able to make small talk easier then I am now. In reality it probably is because I was so out to all my friends. Everyone knew my lifestyle, work and such and so I didn't have to hide. I could talk about anything and they understood as most of them were in the lifestyle anyway. All my good stories are of my life...my lifestyle....and whenever I start telling people I can be out to about my life they always look at me and say you should write a book. But this party...the parties we got to here locally - well I am not out to anyone. And so to them I have a life that seems very boring. I know many of them don't understand why I don't have a "career." Mind you I am an artist but at first most of them thought I was a "housewife." We don't have kids so they didn't understand it. Didn't understood how I could stay at home and not be bored and find "enough" to do. Which just always amazes me as there is ALWAYS something to be done around here...always. So anyway I have to watch what I say carefully so that I don't out us, I don't feel I can socially interact well because I don't feel I know how to do small talk and I am neurotic about it all.

    Oh also...I am stressing about what to wear. OF COURSE! I kind of had an idea of what I wanted to wear about 2 weeks ago - yes I am a girly girl who thinks of that kind of stuff that far in advance. I picked the outfit, but I didn't pick the accessories out. And this is an outfit that definitely needs the accessories as it is all black and very much calls out for something. Also I was going to do stockings and garters under but then I remembered how it really lays flat against hips and bottom...and that would cause lines so I think I am going to have to do the dreaded pantyhose. But I am not sure I have a pair (wearable pair without little snags and are the right shade of black). I need to find that out and then comes the necklace this outfit really needs something bold. And I looked through stuff last night and really didn't find anything that would do that...and I just don't think the posture collar will do for this party (yes that was sarcasm). The sleeves on the outfit are 3-quarter sleeves. I have some silver bangles that are pretty and sparkly that would look festive so I could do that but I still think I need a necklace. And not sure bracelets and necklace might be TOO much. Oh the life of a girly girl who suffers from social panic!

    Oh at least...as I sit here and type this I do have my hair dyed...so at least one thing done on the getting ready for this party tonight. Oh and the bars I am bring are done too.

    Idea coming to mind....I might have to look through my beads and other jewelry making supplies and see if I find something to make quickly. Maybe a pendant on a piece of satin iridescent ribbon. Or something else similar. I also should look for a scarf I have that is red silk with black dots....maybe that just draped around my neck and knotted would be okay. Oh I don't know - I guess after my hair is all done I will look for hose and accessories.

    Yes this is boring entry of my neurosis.

    Godfather Eggs

    I really enjoy cooking. It I guess could be said is a passion of mine. I am known for my cooking. Master's former co-workers always used to say they liked him but they loved me as I always made them yummy treats!

    We are going to a Holiday party tomorrow night so tonight I made pumpkin bars with cream cheese frosting. And tomorrow morning I will make a pasta salad.

    In my comments for Gratitude Tuesday letter E maya asked about Godfather Eggs. Master and I went to a restaurant that had them and so I ended up making them at home because we enjoyed them so much.

    Godfather Eggs
    scrambled eggs
    browned ground Italian sausage
    tomato sauce
    shredded mozzarella cheese
    fresh chopped basil (optional)

    Take scrambled eggs and then just put the layers on top of them first the sausage, then the tomato sauce and cheese. You can top with some basil even though I didn't have any when I took this picture.

    Here is a picture of some I made a while back...

    Friday, December 01, 2006

    Just a little peek....

    I thought I would do a little introduction so those coming from Holidailies can get to know me a little bit.

    39 years of living this life came about as of October. I am in a Master/slave (M/s) Sadomasochism (SM) type relationship (any questions about that please feel free to ask via comment or email - I also will have some links on the bottom that might help out too.) I am expressive, diplomatic, open-minded, kind-hearted, understanding, passionate and loyal. I can be introverted but other times I am very extroverted. I am a mixed media artist. I throw myself into my art and usually emerge with some of the art on me....smeared in charcoal or paint. I am a foodie wannabe and amateur cook. I enjoy wine, tea with cream, reading, chocolate, mail love, music, stationary, art, fresh pineapple, Asian food, cookbooks, typography, mary janes, coloring books and crayons, anything handmade, and the endless possibilities of life. I like Paulo Coelho books, Pre-Raphaelites paintings, and Joss Whedon shows (ie: Firefly). I am constantly learning and growing in my spirituality. I find my inner cool and calm through Buddhism and through service to Master. My likes for SM come in on what some might call heavier edgier type of play. I have been into SM type activities since I was 16. I was in my first M/s type relationship was when I was 18. I was married for 7 years now divorced and owned by Master. We have a website that contains essays, bios, resources, domestic service tips and links, and so on.

    Typical day for me as a slave

    Q&A about M/s and BDSM - Part 1
    - questions answered in it: What exactly is BDSM? Is it just about sex? And than I read of 24-hour slaves, so what about them?

    Q&A about M/s and BDSM - Part 2 - I am curious if those in alternative lifestyles practice this when outside of their homes? For example, if you went to your family reunion would you act like your Master's slave? What happens if the slave decides he/she doesn't want to be a slave anymore? Can you just "quit"?

    Interview Meme Questions and Answers - Part 1 - some questions answered in that post...When did you know you were a submissive/slave? When did I get interested in cooking? What is my favorite service to for Master?

    Interview Meme Questions and Answers - Part 2 - some questions answered in this one...When did you meet your Master? When & how did you have your first experience as a slave? Have you ever been with women? Favorite meal to cook?


    Oh and one last thing...I love the holidays!

    World AIDS Awareness Day....

    Support World AIDS Day

    From the website: "Around forty million people are living with HIV throughout the world - and that number increases in every region every day. In the UK alone, more than 60,000 people are living with HIV and more than 7,000 more are diagnosed every year. Ignorance and prejudice are fuelling the spread of a preventable disease.

    World AIDS Day, 1 December is an opportunity for people worldwide to unite in the fight against HIV and AIDS. This year, it's up to you, me and us to stop the spread of HIV and end prejudice. "

    Soldiers Away From Home

    Another friend posted these links (at the moment not remembering who sorry about that) but I wanted to pass it on.

    Let's not forget the people serving in Iraq and Afghanistan and other places during the holidays. Every day they put themselves in harms way. And I can't imagine all they go through - just the mental and physical strains, the emotional and spiritual strains, being away from their family and friends, just being so far away....so sending a little Holiday cheer their direction is not only as Thank You but I am sure it will brighten the day by giving them a gift.

    http://anysoldier.com

    You can even order packages online to send to them so you don't have to put a package together yourself at Treat Any Solider

    Thursday, November 30, 2006

    GloRoMo

    For the month of November in conjunction with NaNoWriMo Graydancer created GloRoMo and today I was admiring and voting for many wonderful bondage pictures. If Graydancer does it next year maybe I can convince Master that we can enter it too. Oh *shivers* Rope Bondage.

    Tuesday, November 28, 2006

    Christmas Sparkle!

    Look at the pretty that was made for me!

    Gratitude Tuesday - E

    This morning I started this and thought damn E is going to be hard. I would walk away after writing a few and then come back and add more. I thought I wasn't going to have much of anything on the list...but here hours later I guess I surprised myself....so I bring you...

    Photo Hosting at UploadYourImages.com


    ~ E ~


    Eddie Izzard - yummy! He is so funny! Plus he looks good in heels and make up!
    Eating - I love food so I like to eat.
    Epicurious - Which goes with the above. I love that site for recipes, good wine suggestions and other food related ideas.
    Encouragement - I am thankful for all the encouragement I get from my friends.
    Emotions - Although my emotions have been all over the place I am glad that I do have them. I am glad I feel a wide range of them.
    Energy - Having energy...to just do things I am grateful for and also feeling energy/vibes or whatever you call it. I like it when I encounter someone with good energy. s is coming to mind. She always has such a warm clear soothing energy coming from her. Just being around her for a little bit always makes me feel so good.
    Expression - Being able to express through writing, spoke word, art, and so many more ways...I am grateful for the ability to express my thoughts and feelings in so many wonderful ways
    Enthusiasm - This one I always think of this word along with sex work. I know strange but enthusiasm is really the tip to making it in escorting. You have enthusiasm with your clients and you will have repeat clients. Which I guess will lead to the next word...
    Escorting - That will sound strange too...but miss that job. I had so much fun and met some amazing people not only as clients but others who worked in the sex industry.
    Envelopes - Mail Love! I love seeing envelopes in the mail with my name on them. And I love sending out envelopes full of mail love to others.
    Encasement - It is actually one of Master's fetishes. Being totally encased in latex or a shiny spandex suit would be his ideal.
    Edge play - I love edge play - breath play, humiliation scenes, watersports, punching and kicking, face slapping, all are considered edge play and all are near and dear to me!
    Eggs - I like eggs. Egg sandwiches, Godfather Eggs, Scrambled eggs with hashbrowns, neatly folded eggs piled on a fluffy biscuit. Also thankful to have them so I can bake yummy cakes, cookies, brownies and breads with them.
    Eggplant - Not the food....oh no...don't like eggplant to eat but I love the color! I would love to have a room painted with that color
    Edward Gorey - Lovely work....dark and delicious
    Electricity - Without it....there is so much I couldn't do. So I am very thankful for electricity...for keeping computers running, heat going on this cold snowy day, power to run my bread machine and crockpot to make a yummy warm dinner for tonight, to give me warm water for my shower, and dryer to warm up my robe to make me toasty when I am cold, to run all the tv to watch Buffy and Alias...yes I could go on and on with all the wonderful things that electricity brings to me. Very thankful for electricity
    Egyptian art - Art history was one of my favorite classes in college. I always got A and A+'s in it. Egyptian art was one area that I took several classes as it really just has always fascinated me. I even remember in grade school doing papers on Egyptian art as I have drawn to it.
    Eyes - I like eyes...I like the expressiveness of eyes. I keep thinking of Master's blue intense eyes. Yummy! so grateful to be able to look into them every day! I am also thankful for my eyes...to see all the wonderful things that pass before daily.
    Ears - I few years ago girlie pointed out to me I have a thing for ears. I do....I look at people's ears. I seem to notice tiny ears. Dainty little ears. I also appreciate having ears to hear you with - lol - yes I know I sounds like the wolf in little red riding hood.
    Enslavement - I am enslaved to Master and very grateful to be owned by him
    Ephemera - My art consists of lots of ephemera so I am very grateful to have it as an available resource as it inspires me often.

    Website Down

    Our website is down for some reason...(wrote a support ticket) and so that is why my journal is a looking a mess right now without the graphics.

    Monday, November 27, 2006

    Campbell's Donating Food to Food Banks!

    Campbells soup is going to donate cans of soup to food banks based on the number of votes received for each NFL team. You can vote once a day so please, pass this one please.

    Just go to http://www.chunky.com/clickforcansvote.aspx every day!

    Sunday, November 26, 2006

    Please help Fight AIDS....with just a click

    Bristol Myers Squibb will donate one dollar (up to a max of $100,000) for every person who goes to their Web site and lights a candle to fight AIDS. At this point, the counter is just over 70,300 ... so we need many more candles lit before World AIDS Day (on Dec. 1).

    Please go to Light to Unite to light a candle ... and help spread the light.

    Pass this along to others as well! Thank you!

    Loads of Kinky Fun

    The other night Master did an INSIDE post on spanking and just reading it almost made me cum. I am serious...I was breathing heavy! It just brought me to that place when he spanks me. I never really liked spanking before Master. I had partners that liked to spank, but I was always wondering when it would BE OVER! And with Master I am like more more more! And really he does LONG spankings that just are so good that I can't help but want more!

    I did a poll over on my livejournal about BDSM interest. It was check all that you enjoy type poll. Livejournal polls actually only allow 15 things. Almost everyone that took it liked bondage and spanking. Then the next highest with over 62% of voters liking humiliation, breath play and face slapping. I thought it was great that so many liked things that aren't always "approved" of by the general BDSM community.

    The things on the poll:
    bondage,spankings,humiliation, breath play,face slapping, punching and kicking, needles, watersports, rubber or latex, flogging, fisting,age play, hair pulling, cages, and hoods.

    So I thought I would just write a little about each thing on the poll why I like them or don't like them or whatever.

    bondage - I really enjoy rope bondage. I love the feel of it going on my body. I love the feel once it is complete. I am also a visual person so I like the way it look. It is not something Master was really into - at first. Then we went to a workshop at Thunder in the Mountains one year about bondage. And well he saw some more possibilities in play. So that evening in the dungeon he did pretty body and arm bondage in the dungeon to match the top I had on. I think he got into the whole look of it with his other fetishes. And I am very thankful he did. I have never been with anyone that likes it as much as I do. It has always been too much work for most people I have been with. But I love the sensation of the rope on my body. I like the feelings of it tightly tied on me so I can't get loose. I like the rope digging into my arms, legs, and other bits. It just feels...good to me. Strange word for it I am sure but it turns me on and make me just feel like all is right in the world.


    spankings - already discussed above but just to add...I just really like Master's spankings. No one has ever given me a spanking that I really liked besides him. Most of the time I was like okay we can stop now. And didn't really get why people enjoyed it. But Master....oh yum to the spankings. I really do think it is because of the drumming background. He doesn't just spank....he does drum as silly as that sounds....it is the difference.

    humiliation - I really enjoy. I find myself having some problems getting into it though for a while. I think because I am just not in the place mentally and emotionally to get into it. And I do think it really needs the right headspace or for me it can go very badly.

    breath play - is probably one of my biggest turn ons. I like the sensations it creates...the tension, anticipation, skin becoming ultra sensitive, just the air going away. I like lack of control. And especially like the feelings of His control over me in those moments.

    face slapping - I have always liked face slapping. I remember my vanilla husband I engaging in kinky play and he would slap me. He really had problems doing it the first time but after he saw how much I enjoyed it then he never seemed to have a problem. Master really enjoys face slapping too. I like the feeling of that skin on skin contact....his hand slapping across my face. The redness it causes, the after tingles of it. We also do some face punching and it is something we both really enjoy also. I have had a swollen lip and it made me feel good...looking at it in the mirror...even touching it. It made me feel like his property.

    punching and kicking - another hawt activity that we enjoy. I have engaged in punching and kicking for a while. Back with Don and then MC (someone I played with right before getting involved with Master.) Master is really good at punching. We haven't done as much kicking. But I know it is someplace we will explore eventually. We saw a workshop at Thunder done by Fifth Angel on punching, kicking and takedowns. And I think I was moaning outloud during the whole workshop. And it certainly inspired Master and punching I think is his top 5 things to do to me. Every time we have sex....punching almost always is involved. Arms and breasts are his favorite places to punch me. It is good foreplay for me to get turned on when I am not sexually "ready."

    needles - They are not something I enjoy. I don't like needles. I have seen some cool needle, staple and suture play, but I think having it done on me would make me nauseous.

    watersports - We have an essay on Golden Showers on our website. It was one of those fetishes that years I go I thought I would never enjoy but I do. And it really isn't that humiliating to me more like I feel pride when Master urinates on me. I feel pride of being his. I do also drink his urine but still not very well. I have lots of urinating on myself type of fantasies but haven't explored all of those yet.

    rubber or latex - I didn't check rubber and latex although I like both...I am allergic to latex. Rubber/latex are 2 of Master's fetishes. I do feel sorry for him not being able to engage in that with me. I love the look of it on others but usually don't like the look of it on me.

    flogging - flogging is something I used to really enjoy but Master although he likes to flog he just doesn't do that very often. And so really for me I have a problem taking it and you would think a girl that is slapped and punched wouldn't have a problem taking a flogging but I really feel like a wuss with flogging

    fisting - I have never been fisted. And ex tried once and ripped me. And then girlie tired once too but I was tense and too tight. But it is something I would like to have done someday and Master has an interest in it too - so one day it might be a reality. But I have fisted though and enjoyed it thoroughly so I probably should have checked it from that stand point. (girlie makes such delightful noises when being fisted.)

    age play - I am not sure I really can explain what I do as age play but I guess it is. But I just have this little girl side that comes out. It is natural - it isn't role that now I am 4 years old and act and dress like a 4 year old. It is that I am 4. Not sure I am explaining that well. But I do like playing and being Daddy's princess and little girl!

    hair pulling - I love the feel of Master's hand in my hair. Feel his control. Feel where he is usually directing me with his hand in my hair. Girlie and her Sir once put my hair as part of the bondage and I really liked that too...hog tied!

    cages - yep like them too. Master built me a cage. It was hard for me at first being in it and it did get easier. But we haven't had time for it lately. And had to take it down because of company being here. The cage made me feel really truly like his captive and when I was first here and he was claiming me as His...making me His....it really helped me be in that mindset that his...property.

    hoods - in Master's top 5 probably number 1 actually. It is something I didn't enjoy at first. I was actually scared of them. He really did a great job of getting me used to them and also making me DESIRE them. I do desire them now. Hoods are something I plan on writing about more in length one day. So not going to say that much right now but I do like them. It is like an escape as soon as one goes on.


    Oh yummy kinks! Nice thoughts!
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