Downton Abbey Season 4

The folks in the UK get to see Season 4 soon.....here is the trailer....

Downton Abbey

I have been drinking more tea this winter. Last winter, I might have had a cup or two a week. Now I have one almost everyday.  Even having a second cup sometimes. 

Either it is just because it has been so cold this winter or maybe watching so much of Downton Abbey is inspiring me to drink more tea.

It took about 3 episodes of the first season before getting Master hooked on Downton Abbey. We watched season 1 on Netflix and season 2 on Hulu.  Right now 3 is being shown on PBS.org until March 3rd. But luckily for me, Master bought me Downton Abbey UK edition Season 3 on DVD so we had a season 3 marathon recently. I was thrilled to see moments I had been waiting for since season 1. But I was also shocked by some things and think Mr. Julian Fellowes writer/creator of Downton Abbey has a little Joss Whedon in him. Joss fans might understand when they watch all of season 3. 

Now I am waiting for season 4! And rewatching all seasons OVER and OVER. 
I love the opening credits where they measure the place settings. I remember seeing the first episode - and even now when I watch it I get this feeling of flutter in my stomach from the service. I love the attention to details and dynamics between the servants and their Master/employer. 

There is this little piece when Matthew in season 1 expresses to Robert that he doesn't need a valet. It is just a little moment where he goes on about how unfair that would be to Mosely, but then ends it with - "We all have parts to play Matthew and we must all be allowed to play them." I like that line.  We do all have parts to play in life. Finding that path to do what you desire can sometimes be hard. But the outcome is worth and luckily I have found my part to play it fits nicely with what Master desires. 

Just for fun.... Sesame Street does Downton Abbey

Shades of Kink

The season premiere of Our America airs tonight on OWN.  It is exploring real life 50 Shades of Grey.  I saw a status message from OWN about it.

Lisa Ling says she went in with a judgmental hat on and had it changed. It does seem like she is strictly coming to this from a kinky point of view. The play and not those who live it day to day more like they going into a scene and playing and then stepping back to a vanilla life.  Which is fine if that is someone wants to do it, but it is just one aspect of the BDSM umbrella.

From the status message: "No one judges in the world of BDSM, meaning there is nothing for which you could express desire that would make people balk. There is a kind of openness that I frankly, found very refreshing. Unlike the outside world where most of us have difficulty expressing things that excite us or are curious about, this is a world where one can be honest about just about anything. Openness and trust are key tenets of BDSM; things that one can’t always find in the outside world. "

It is nice that she got that view from the BDSM and for the most part I believe it to be true, but one look on FetLife groups and you can see their are very differing positions on how to live the lifestyle. It sounds like Lisa Ling came away with a positive look at the BDSM community which is nice since most don't seem to come away with such good outlook.

This video is the first 5 minutes of the episode....

Spitting as Lube

When I was married, my husband slapped and spit on my face a few times. It always turned me on. I remember he was fucking me really hard one afternoon and said to me "I really want to slap your face and spit on you" and the thought made me moan and push up to meet him. I nodded that it turned me on....so he did it.  I have had my face spit on by a few men in my life since then....Master being one of them. And it is a turn on.  Yes it can go on that verge of being gross to me but most of the time I am so sexually in my frenzy that almost anything done to me is fine. I love that state.

But spit as lube- grosses me out.  I had a few clients try that when I was an escort but I usually reached over for the lube and asked them to just do a little squirt of it.  But mostly where I see spitting used as lube is in porn.  I am watching the porn to get turned on and then they spit and it really squicks me.

I am not sure I get using spit as lube. I mean you are making a porn and have availability to all these toys and condoms on the toys but you don't have time to put a bottle of lube out to use? I know in Lesbian porn yes they are going to go down on each other but I know there has to be a lube that has a tolerable taste out there to use.  I haven't just seen this in lesbian porn, but also in hetrosexual porn too - men seem to spit on the girl's pussy lots for lube.  It turns me off.  

Master, teacup and I watched Whippedass.com Lesbian BDSM Volume 1 and they used spit ALL the time to the point we could predict when the next spit lubing was coming up and turn away because it grossed teacup and I out. It just made us cringe, turn away and wait for the next beating because sex always included spitting. Yucky!


Plus I read once using spit as lube can cause yeast infections.  Thinking of all the spit used in that DVD...um yeah...gross. 


Please if you are reading this don't just assume using your spit as lube is okay. Please ask the girl what she prefers.  Please if you make porn - make sure your actors/actresses have lube on set and don't use spit. 

What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?

Just a little life....

* Master was really into this cycle of using humiliation on me - then we had to go out of town and of course that threw us off our schedule. But it was lots of fun - being mindfucked and turned by it. :)

* My gawd I have my period and I think even if I fucked a whole army platoon I wouldn't be satiated. I am just so horny this time. I mean I am always horny with my period but this time seems like 10 times more then usual. But on top of being horny - I have had a migraine cycle from hell and having sex or orgasms don't really help them. But it hasn't stopped me from giving Master blow jobs even though it spikes me up....I don't care as I am just so horny I want his cock in me.

* We saw The Avenger's - twice! Oh so so good! Joss Whedon did a fantastic job! I am so happy for him and the success of the moive.  Last movie I saw twice in the theater was Star Trek. I think actually I saw that 3 times.  We just don't see movies in the theater often anyway so going twice is something we really don't do. Title of this post is from the Avenger's

* Because I am wanting Master's cock so much  - giving him multiple blow jobs a day lately he wrote Cock Slut in marker on my breasts.  During the movie on Friday - I reach out and touched his thigh just to lay my hand there and instantly spiked my desire of wishing we weren't in the theater and instead at home so I could have his cock in my mouth. I am telling you I am so freakin horny right now.

* teacup will be here again in less than a month! YAY!  When she booked her ticket, I think we were all bouncing off the walls that she gets to visit again so soon.

* When she is here - she will get to meet one of Master's long time friends who is poly while we are in Denver to pick teacup up from the airport.  And she might meet Master's sister too on our way back to bring her to the airport. We are out to Master's sister - she knows about our lifestyle - both the M/s and poly. She is excited to meet our love.  We also hope that she gets to meet some local friends that we were suppose to get together with last time - hopefully this time we are able to do that.

*  Spent lots of time in the kitchen this week - made homemade hoagie rolls earlier in the week and then Saturday I made homemade hamburger buns, browned 2 lbs of ground beef, made meatloaf for the freezer so I can take it out and bake later, made lots of meatballs, sauteed veggies and then made muffins for breakfast too. Last night we had hamburgers on homemade buns, corn on the cob with Northwood Seasoning from Penzeys Spices and then Cherry Wine with lemonade in it.  A recipe we got from a local winery when teacup was here last.  I am about to go make some things to take on a picnic to watch the sunset tonight and hopefully see the Ring of Fire (annular solar eclipse).  Master also has some fun things planned for on our trip to where we are going to view it - and for while we are out there. It is kind of a remote area.  I will write about it I am sure I will be writing about whatever happens. :)

* I am feeling very blessed right now. Because life is really good. I mean of course it would be better if teacup was here with us but I am just so happy we found someone who is such an amazing person  that meshes with us so well.   Master is great....I am just so happy with him and to be HIS. Life is just really good.  Love my Life!

Love Times Three - Part 2

As I said in a previous post I read Love Times Three: Our True Story of a Polygamous Marriage by Joe, Alina, Vicki and Valerie Darger.

I thought I would share some quotes I have flagged in the book.

"Plural marriage isn't easy. We're the first to admit that.  It's a lifestyle that requires of each woman a constant gentle empathy for her sister wives and a respect for boundaries and fairness. We face the same struggles that monogamous wives do, but those trying  times are often magnified because there are multiple partners whose perspective and feeling have to be considered."

Really good words. I think it requires quite a bit of empathy, respect for boundaries and fairness.I know it is really hard for people to do poly. One thing that many get hung up on is the not keeping every one in mind.  When I lived in the poly household, one of my clear signs that it might work was if that other person kept the women in the household on their mind.  Such as when they called did they ask about us or want to speak to us, did they try to form a relationship with each of us or just him,  or did they like to pretend we didn't exist.  Poly won't work if you don't take everyone into account and be very empathetic to what each person is going through.

"When people say I 'practice' polygamy, they've got it right: my efforts to live this lifestyle are contanst and ongoing. There are many religions that have practices aimed at deepening spiritual insights and expressing faith, such as fasting, saying the rosary, and making a pilgrimage.  That's what plural marriage is for me: a daily practice that focuses my attention on the highest ideals of my religion.  The benefits to me, in terms of spiritual and personal growth, joy and completeness, far outweigh the hard work and sacrifice it takes."


Poly is constant work.  The area of this quote I would change instead of saying it is "my highest ideals of my religion" - I would say it is the highest ideals of myself.

"We have the closeness of sisters and the comaraderie of friends. I love it when I head for the kitchen late at night for a taste of chocolate and find Vickie or Val there, spoon in hand and ready for conversation."

Yes. Oh yes.  The closeness goes beyond friendship to me...it is family but not in the sense of bio family. I mean my biological sisters don't know things about me that I have told sister slaves.  Some of my favorite memories of living in Ohio, where doing mundane things with the other women in the household. Bug sitting on the dryer folding clothes as I put the next load in - talking and laughing the whole time. Laur and I singing as we made dinner.  So many wonderful moments in the everyday living of life.  I want that again.


"Early on, I tried to assert my status as the husband to get my wives to do what I wanted, but playing the patriarchy card wasn't working for me. ... I realized I was trying to drive them, not lead them." 


Just liked that quote because with so many personalities sometimes I can see how "driving" might seem like the solution but it is quite the opposite because there are so many personalities - better to lead then to try to  force things to happen.


"That's something a lot of people miss when they look at this lifestyle: it requires a willingness to take personal responsibility and be accountable for yourself."  


Joe talks about how he can't carry 3 wives luggage through the airport.  And one of the wives talked about how she has some issues cropping up and she realized Joe couldn't fix it - can't fix everything - that she had to look at those issues and see why they were coming up and work on finding the solution.  It wasn't Joe's responsibility to help her with her issues - it was hers.  Throughout the book they all mention personal responsibility and I just feel that is something needed in all relationships just not poly. But with poly I can see how sometimes we have to take that responsibly because there are so many people in the household you can't put it on everyone else.

Joe and the wives mention that although they are taking personal responsibility - everything is easier because they have love and support from each other.

Overall, I liked the book.  Even though they come at poly from a religious standpoint...I still related to many things in the book.  The book starts out with them growing up, how they basically came into poly. That part I didn't relate too as they were all grew up around polygamy.  But the second half of the book is where they talk about their plural marriage and those are the parts I can relate too.  I hope their book does help give another perspective of polygamy - where they aren't on a compound and wearing prairie-garb.

They were on 20/20 a couple weeks ago. You can watch the episode online.

Here is a video clip I found from Our America with Lisa Ling about a young family.  I usually seem them mid-30 to 40's.

"Modern Polygamy: Spotlight on a Young Polygamist Family

Lisa visits Isaiah and his two wives to determine if what she sees in this young and modern families' daily lifestyle will change any of the preconceived notions we have about polygamy."

Review: Expert Guide To Oral Sex

My past profession means I have given quite a lot of blow jobs.  After watching another Tristan Taormino sex education video - I decided I wanted to take a look at  Expert Guide To Oral Sex: Fellatio.  Even though I have given a lot of blow jobs - I know I am not an expert.  I figured I might learn something from it - and even if I didn't then the porn in it would be fun to watch as women who are enjoying themselves giving a blow job always turns me on. 


This adult dvd starts out with Tristan introducing herself to a small group of women before going into a short lesson in male sexual anatomy. She uses good illustrations to point out arousal points on both circumcised and uncircumcised penis and talks about how different areas produce different sensations. She adds of course that every one is different and having a good open communication is key to figuring out what your partner likes.  

After the male anatomy lesson, Tristan brings out Roxy and Christian to help demonstrate parts of the anatomy on a real cock as well as going over four phases of a blow job. The four phases are - warm up, experiment, rhythm, and orgasm.  Tristan sits next to them and talks about the different phases as Roxy gives Christian a blow job. I think it would be very difficult to be aroused or stay aroused while someone talks about the blow job in a more technical form but Tristan is able to pull it off so it doesn't seem clinical but very casual.  Christian doesn't look like he is having any problems staying aroused. The group of women then ask questions such as what do you do when your mouth isn't producing enough saliva, can you change the taste of cum, and how to overcome gag reflect. 

Marcos & Lindsey

After the class is done, then the video breaks off into three separate couples demonstrating blow jobs and being interviewed by Tristain. Tristan narrates tips with each segment showing helpful “pop-up video” style bubbles to illustrate the point. The first couple is Kaiya and Alex in a bedroom setting. Kaiya gives an eager blow job while showing different stimulation techniques and positions.   The second couple is Lindsay and Marcos. Their session focuses on communication between two people have never met, incorporating hand job in with a blow job, different positions and the art of a sensual blow job. You can clearly see how much Marcos is enjoying himself.  Marcos is uncircumcised so it was nice to see how stimulation someone who is uncircumcised can be different.  It was also refreshing to see him start completely flaccid and see him grow hard.  The other sessions just start out with a hard cock.  The third couple is  Alec (same one who was with Kaiya) and Adrianna  who focused on sloppy blow jobs and also deep-throating techniques. 

Marcos & Lindsey

It then is broken into segments that show different styles of blow job: sensual, submissive, hand to mouth (this segment includes a sex toy - anal vibrator), sloppy, and sixty-nine.  Tristan doesn't narrate or have any pop up tips in these segments they are just straight oral action. 


As with the other Expert Guide dvds from Tristan, this one had a ton of extras.  It has segments of some couples without narration, Fellatio on an Uncircumcised Penis, Fellatio & Prostate Stimulation, more of the cast interviews, safe sex, behind the scenes, and trailers. In the behind the scenes Tristan, Adrianna and Kaiya do a little taste testing of flavored lubes.  Because some of the lubes are very bad, their comments and reactions are funny. In the safe sex segment they talk about flavored condoms. I used them when I worked - and I liked banana the best.  

Kaiya and Alec

I don't feel I did learn anything new from this dvd but it did give me some reminders of things I don't do that often that I should incorporate into giving Master a blow job.  I think that if you  feel you are lacking oral skills or if you just aren't enjoying giving blow jobs then you should watch this video. It is my guess you will not only learn something but you will gain different perspectives from the men and women in the video on why and how they enjoy blow jobs.  If you feel you won't learn anything new, then you will probably still walk away with reminders of things to do that you haven't done in a while - like I did. 

The Nun's Story

The Nun's Story is a movie which stars Audrey Hepburn. I checked it out from the library when I decided I wanted to do an Audrey Hepburn movie extravaganza one weekend. The Nun's Story was one of the few Audrey Hepburn movies I hadn't seen though.

I have always had a fascination with nuns even though I am not catholic. On A&E years and years ago there was a mini-series called Brides of Christ that aired late at night. I happened to have insomnia the first night it aired so that worked out good for me. I stayed up watching it and knew I wanted to see the rest of the mini-series so I taped it it (back in the ages of VHS). And I ended up watching it over and over again. I am not sure what happened to the tape when I got divorced but I do remember for a very long time watching that tape with great fascination and I think the word I want is longing. I felt a longing to feel what they felt...that devotion and dedication.

Like Brides of Christ, I watched The Nun's Story many many times before I returned it to the library. Today as a slave, I relate to The Nun's Story in the same fascination but also with a knowing knowledge now - even if coming from a different form of devotion and dedication. And The Nun's Story I was particularly drawn to because not only her devotion but her inherent struggles that came with that devotion - even seemingly walking side by side with each other.

In the Nun's Story Sister Luke struggles between her passion to be a nun and her passion of being a nurse and helping sick people. It is explained to Sister Luke that no matter if she is with a patient or not that she has to stop when the bells toll to go to her prayer services. And it often frustrated her because here is in the middle of helping this patient - doing something so important for someone and she has to stop. She doesn't understand why God wouldn't understand that this is important. But when she is transfered to the Congo she often calls and gets excused so that she doesn't have to leave her nursing duties to go pray. She calls more and more to get excused to stay with her nursing duties over her duties as a nun. A doctor there calls her a Worldly Nun. One who is devoted to God but has curiosity of the world. And I think that accurately described her.

In the end she finally leaves her life as a nun when the war breaks out as she can't reconcile her feelings of helping one side of the war when the nuns are suppose to remain neutral. The ending and how she has to leave as a nun was very interesting - very much alone as though this family she had for year in the abbey has disowned her. And that is really what they did I guess.

I am always Master's slave, but I do have a curiosity for things that I feel I am missing out on because of being Master's slave. And it isn't that I want to give up being Master's slave. Just as Sister Luke tried to work between being a passionate about both being a nun and a nurse and not having it work, I am just not sure it is possible for me to have both. So I struggle.

I love being Master's slave. I just wish after 8 years I could find balance. I think it actually gets harder for me to find that balance the longer I am in service. Odd as that sounds. When I was first in service, everything was bright and shiny and cleaning Master's toilet was the center of my universe and I smiled joyfully at the thought of cleaning his toilet. I am sorry but 8 years later - it is just cleaning his toilet to keep it clean and knowing it will enhance his life with that service so he doesn't have to do it. No smiling joyfully while cleaning it anymore....just keeping it real folks. I know that it might be different for others just as in the Nun's Story and in the Brides of Christ some nuns seem to not struggle as much others but I am someone who questions and looks at the world around me with exactly what the doctor said in the movie - curiosity. I like being of the world. And often with M/s it seems it becomes the world. The M/s relationship is the world for the slave. But just like the nuns that struggle who still want to be nuns - I still want to be a slave. I just wish to find balance. And maybe that isn't possible. That is something I have really been trying to find this past year.

To There and Back Again

I left at the end of July to visit my family. And arrived back home almost 3 weeks later and then we had to out of town for work right away. And rush back for work here at home too. So I was feelings as though I am not sure which way is up but finally this week feels a little bit more stable.

I went home as I had several family functions to attend. One was finally being able to get some closure for my Uncle's death. Still grieving of course but Master said he has noticed that I seem to be better then I was before I left. I see some of that but I almost feel like when is the other shoe going to drop.

This year has been really hard. And so there haven't been many blog posts. And I feel a little bad about that - only because the end of next month I will celebrate 10 years of writing this blog. Which send my brain into a WTF moment as really? Really I have written for 10 years in a public forum like this? For someone as shy as myself - it really does boggle my mind. Anyway - because I haven't had many blog posts this past year...I think about not blogging anymore (except on Domestic Servitude). But really truthfully I just don't think I can give it up. I like writing....purging feelings and thoughts here helps me be true to myself and gives me sometimes a perspective I don't get when it is rattling around in my head. So....at this moment still blogging - just hasn't been a lot this year and understandably so with all the stress I have had this year.

So I will just take the blogging thing as it comes to me...

While home, I got to see the Eat Pray Love movie which is one of my favorite books. It was a girls night out and it was very nice. Dinner, drinks and the movie. I really enjoyed the movie. I am one of these people that can take the movie for a movie that stands alone without the book. And vice versa a book doesn't need to match the movie. So I went in with an open mind but knew that they would never be able to capture the intensity of the book. And so knew I wanted to enjoy the movie just for itself. And I did!

Three of the people I went with hadn't read the book and two of them didn't like it as much as the rest of us that had read the book. One person was confused on like how Liz decided to do the trip in the first place and the transitions from each place - she didn't like either. The other didn't like it because she felt it was too spiritual and considers all things spiritual new agey so for her the movie was new agey. Myself and the other person that read the book - really liked the movie.

If you are wanting to see it and want it to be exactly like the book - don't see it. It will probably disappoint you. If you understand that they can't capture the intensity of the emotions book due to some of it is just not possible to do for the screen but also because of length of the movie would have been too long - then go see it. I think Julia Roberts was really good person to play Liz Gilbert. And I think they captures many wonderful moments of the book. Many of my favorites parts or quotes got in the movie.

Such as this one...this quote is from the section on Italy - Chapter 25 (Bead 25) page 75. Liz is talking about all the changes the Augusteum has went through. But I like what the message of the quote....

"It is merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all that nobody could have anticipated. The Augusteum warns me not get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve. Yesterday I might have been a glorious monument to somebody, true enough -- but tomorrow I could be a fireworks depository. Even in the Eternal City, says the silent Augusteum, one must always prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation."

Entertainment Weekly had an article on Eat Pray Love the week it came out. And one thing I found out was Richard Jenkins who plays Richard at the Ashram talked to the real Richard before going to film and said it was the best 45 minute phone call he ever had. But he went on to say that he was sorry that Richard died before being able to see the movie. That made me sad to think that Richard is gone. He died of a heart attack.

And last but not least...OH MY Javiar Bardem....SO SEXY. He definitely made the movie better. And the one person that didn't like the new ageiness of the movie - even commented on the sexiness of Javiar.

I liked the movie. I would see it again. And I will want to have it when it comes out on DVD.

Mad Men

So I started watching Mad Men. I had never seen it. I got season 1 via NetFlix. And I am really enjoying it. It amuses me some of the things they say about women - and at the same time sometimes what they say titillates me too.

My sisters were talking about how they had to catch up on some Mad Men episodes that they recorded. And I said I hadn't seen it yet but had it on my Netflix queue. And my little sister said, "I think YOU will REALLY like it." The way she said I knew there was something behind her thinking. And I asked her why. And she said, "well...the men are....well....domineering."

Words....Part 1

I have been doing this meme with some friends where they give me 5 words that come to mind to describe me and then I write about the words.

So here are some of the words I have been given and my thoughts on them....

Beautiful - I know why she picked this word. But not sure I agree with her. :) I have many beautiful things in my life...living in such a beautiful place...Colorado is just breath taking, roses sitting here on my desk from Master that he got me just because, art, the rain, friends and family and love. Many more beautiful things in my life.

Captive - Master always says I am his willing captive. My first months with Master, I felt like a captive (willing) because my clothes were locked up, my id and so many things that say freedom were taken away. And many of those things are still in place. Yes nothing tangible is stopping me from walking out the door. But there are things inside that make it feel like I can't and that is all that matters to me.

Polyamorus - Poly is one of those things that has just always felt natural to me. As a little girl I drew floor plans for houses that had more then one bedroom for the "wives." I don't know where I got idea that a person could have more than one wife as I was never exposed to anything like it. I would dream up stories to go along with the floor plans - dream of stories of the people that lived there. And it was always good feelings of cooking together with other co-wives and laughing. Just lots of love and laughter in the house. So when I was exposed to poly within the BDSM community - I really didn't blink or think twice about it being right for me. Because I knew it was right for me. It has always been very easy for me to give love - unconditional love. I know what we seek is really hard to find. We live in a smaller town so finding that "special" someone that feels right and good in our life is really like finding a needle in a haystack. But it doesn't make me want to give up.

Vulnerable - Definition of vulnerable is susceptible to criticism, susceptible to physical or emotional injury. And I know my lifestyle does leave me susceptible to criticism. For the most part I ignore it. Every once in a while it bugs me though. And yes hurts my feelings. But since reading over my archives the last week - I can say without a doubt I am not as vulnerable as I once was. I just feel I don't expose myself as I once did because frankly I am not as screwed up as I once was....back then it was easier to hurt me since there were so many open wounds to poke.

Generous - I have a big heart that cares very easily about people, causes...life. So I tend to give a lot. Since being Master's though I know I hold more people at arms length and don't give as much of myself or my time. I give what I can and hope that everyone understands - it is the best I can do.


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These words were from Master...

DVDs - Master and I are both pretty obsessive about movies. We have over 500 DVD titles. When I work (coding websites, creating graphics or doing art), I need noise so even just listening to a movie is a good thing. It helps me move faster for some reason. Something I do though that Master doesn't do is - I get stuck on a movie or tv series. Such as recently Master bought me Sex and the City and I have been watching it OVER and OVER and OVER.

hip/chic/contemporary - Obviously he cheated giving me multiple words as one pick but he is Master so....I won't point that out to him. :) But I did have to ask Master what he meant by these words. Because I don't associate myself with them at all. He does though. So I get why he gave them to me - many things I like and enjoy fit those words. But I am such a weird person because I seem to like so many different styles - be it fashion, decorating and even when cooking. Because I like so many different styles - I think is why I don't feel the words fit me.

Just a few different kitchen designs I like...







I took a quiz about my decorating style and it said: Lean back and relax in a space that welcomes the modern but trades stainless steel for the natural. Your tastes include the Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired. Your sensitivity to materials and a natural setting meets with a contemporary bent in home styles like Mission, Prairie and Arts & Crafts. When making your cabinet selection, consider birch as a clean and modern wood species. Choose details like geometric forms, art glass, contrasting textures and lines, and forged and wrought iron pulls.

And really that does fit my most often picked decorating style.

I think I love many things that are hip, chic and/or contemporary but often I feel they don't fit into my life. I may look at a very chic dress but know living in the town we do there is no reason to have that dress. So my practical side wins out over my hip, chic or contemporary side.

February - February has many meanings for me. February is the month I first met Master, stayed with him a month and it also is the month he claimed me as his. It a month that has created so many good memories. My favorite of course I have written about many many times...when Master claimed me as his....

Master just pulled that chain out of his pocket and put it around my neck. He locked it in place. No words...he didn't ask me. He didn't tell me. He just claimed me. It was intense and wonderful. I still remember it so clearly and still feel all the feelings I did then.

*photo is from that month I stayed with Master and is the chain he placed around my neck to claim me. So the photo is over 6 years old.

dark thoughts - I really go up and down with my dark thoughts/dark desires. Sometimes I think about them all the time and other times I don't. I often have thoughts about blood but I am such a wimp with blood. I see pictures Bootpig's pictures on FetLife and drool and squirm but I know that even the smell of blood makes me light headed. Although I am isolated - I often think of it on other levels in my fantasies. Not let out of the house for longer times. I enjoy the thoughts of long term confinement in the closet or cage. There are other things but harder for me to explain here in words. But for the most part they often contain humiliation.

Blogging - I have been blogging for 9 years in October. I sometime don't share much and other times I share things I don't say out-loud but do in words on my blog. It just is what ever comes out. I also after this long of blogging don't share things I am surprised I don't. I don't share our SM/sex life as much as I thought I would. I don't share some of my really happy moments in slavery but mostly it is because it is the moment and by the time I sit down - I just can't capture it in words. But over all it does show my thoughts on a very wide range of topics and it is my place to hash those out.

Sex and the City & Spanking

So I have been obsessed with the Sex and the City movie. I was relaying a little section of the movie to Master...

Big and Carrie are looking at a Penthouse and the realtor calls Carrie Big's wife. And she tells the realtor that Big is her boyfriend. And Big says, "Aren't I little old to be your boyfriend." And she told him that she would start calling him her man-friend. He then said that sounds like a dog to which she replied if the shoe fits. In response he spanks her on the ass.

I said to Master can I call you my Man-friend. He said only if you want to be spanked. I said "okay Man-friend"

I am getting spanked later. I got one spank already but more are coming for my dazzling wit.

It is the wit right? Or maybe it is me being a smart-ass? hmm I wonder. :)

Vulcan Salute

Master just might kick me to the curb...I can't do the do the Vulcan salute. *hangs head in shame*

He said I need to practice as he can't believe he has had me as his for 6 years never knowing I couldn't do it. He said that could be a deal breaker.

(this is all said tongue-in-cheek just in case it didn't come across)

March Questions: 3 Random Questions

What's your single most favorite book quote of all time. I can't narrow it down to one quote. I am quote whore.

"He knew one of the women well, and had shared his universe with her. They had seen the same mountains, and the same trees, although each of them had seem them differently. She knew his weaknesses, his moments of hatred, of despair. Yet she was there at his side. They shared the same universe." ~ Paulo Coelho, The Valkyries

Try to find pleasure in the speed that you're not used to. Changing the way you do routine things allows a new person to grow inside of you. But when all is said and done, you're the one who must decide how you handle it." -- From Paulo Coelho's book The Pilgrimage

"There is a theory that if you yearn sincerely enough for a Guru, you will find one. The universe will shift, destiny's molecules will get themselves organized and your path will soon intersect with the path of the master you need." From Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

"It's an essential part of training to provoke strong emotions. But as you know, one mark of a good slave is the ability to let the anger go and continue working, continue serving, continue offering respect and deference. Now, if the anger and shame and hurt can then change to love or affection or lust -- well, that's our mark as a sadomasochist, isn't it?" From The Reunion by Laura Antoniou

If you could re-enact the perfect movie scene with anyone (alive, celebrity, famous, or not - whoever) what scene would that be and why. Well we are movie buffs. I love movies. They are a great escape and entertainment. But I have to say a movie came to mind when I read this question - Gone with the Wind. I think a couple scenes with Rhett Butler that would be fun to re-enact. Why? Because I love Rhett's arrogance.

Name a celebrity you wish was in the lifestyle. Gerard Butler - and I would love to see him at an event in full Phantom costume with a single tail creating slashes across the back of a damsel in distress.

Super Bowl interrupted by Porn

"A Tucson television station says its broadcast of the Super Bowl was interrupted for some customers by about 10 seconds of pornographic material.

KVOA-TV in Tucson posted a statement on its Web site late Sunday saying the only viewers who were able to see the material were those who receive the channel through Comcast cable.

KVOA says it will investigate the incident and that the game was sent out from the station without interruptions or pornographic material.

Comcast spokeswoman Tracy Baumgartner confirmed that the company's standard feed was interrupted during the Super Bowl, although she said its high definition feed was not." from Chicago Tribune

Well no surprise that it was pulled from YouTube as it was fairly big cock front and center!

So a new link for it here

Don't Make Me into THAT Girl

This is from season one of the Sarah Connor Chronicles. I can't remember what episode it is from but it one where Charlie (Sarah's former boyfriend) is talking to his wife. An FBI agent had been there questioning him about Sarah Connor. It just reminded me of when I was in the poly family as I was made into that girl.

Charlie's wife says: "You know why you love me? I am going to tell you. You love me because I am not that girl. I am not that jealous girl. I am not that insecure girl. I am not that petty girl. So don't make me into that girl by lying to me."

I never was jealous, insecure or petty when I lived in the poly family but then I was lied to. So I learned to question and often seemed jealous, insecure and petty because I had been lied to so often. It was the lies that upset me. Otherwise I was always happy when he was out with others or I could hear him having fun with another in the next room -- it gave me warm fuzzies. But lying to me made me into that girl. I didn't like being that girl and wouldn't have been upset if it weren't for the lying.

Movie Night with the Parents

I have been pretty busy so lack of posting. I have about 4 posts started but just not finished because I haven't had the time or brain power when I do have the time. Master's parents were here for Labor Day so was busy being hostess.

Last night we decided to watch a movie. Oh it was the WRONG movie to be watching with Master's parents. Oh my! The first 2 minutes of it were pretty umm graphic and I had to wonder if we were watching X-rated movie. It is of 3 people (2 girls and 1 guy) kind of playing in the water. One girl is topless and the other had a bikini. It shows some grabbing and groping in the water. It then moves inside to a bed. And you see a man come to the window to take pictures...what is going on in the bed is reflecting off the window. It is OBVIOUS that one girl is going down on the other girl. I mean very obvious. Right after that scene is done and moving to the next....Master's Dad pipes up and said "well this is starting off slow."

The first 30 minutes involve a strip club so pasties and panties seemed to be the theme there. Then a brothel where all the girls were naked....well they were wearing garter belts and stockings. And in the brothel a man goes off with 2 women and it is a SM scene (man in cuffs, collar with a woman that looks like a dominatrix). Oh then a man and woman at a dinner party go off and have sex where she gets all the way naked except for wearing her high heels and the man is full dressed just unzipping his pants and bends her over a table. They don't show much of what goes on after she is bent over the table but again more naked women. The movie was the Bank Job by the way for those wanting to see it. It wasn't a great movie...it wasn't a horrible movie but it was a movie if we had known what it was like we would have said no to watching it with parents. Master's parents didn't seem embarrassed by it. Master's Mom even fell asleep during it -- although it was during the second half when there weren't as many tit shots or even sex. I joked with Master that after you have seen 13 sets of tits that 14th just puts you to sleep.

So just a tip for all of you out there...don't watch The Bank Job with your parents.

Battlestar Galactica Deleted Sex Scene

I have several posts started but my brain hasn't been able to finish any of them. I do hope to at least get one done this weekend. But for now a deleted scene from Battlestar Galactica - Maelstrom. It is a sex scene between Leoben and Kara. It is HOT!



He is pulling off his belt and telling her to to tell him...she loves him. I hear him slipping it off -- it just makes me hot. The rest is hot too but that part really gets me.

Getting Under the Table

I am watching The Devil's Advocate with Keanu Reeves (Kevin Lomax), Al Pacino (John Milton) and Charlize Theron (Mary Ann Lomax).

There is this scene that I like that is very short but it just turns me on....

Milton and Lomax are at a restaurant/bar and it is this big table with lots of beautiful girls. One girl is sitting on Milton's lap, he whispers in her ear, she slips off his lap and gets under the table. And Milton gets this huge smile on his face looking at Lomax. And I all I can think about when I see the scene is I wish I could do that...it is something I haven't ever done. Not necessarily Al but he does have a cocky arrogance that has a certain sex appeal. But the thought of slipping under the table and giving Master or whoever he wanted a blow job there in a crowded resturant/bar just makes me feel very naughty! In a very good way of course. Of course if ever faced with that prospect I am sure I would be very nervous and scared.

there's only this

I am watching RENT right now. I forgot how much I like that movie. I don't know why I forgot about it. We have a pretty big movie collection and RENT is one that I just don't watch that often but every time I do -- I think I should watch it more often.

October 2006 Master and I had a road trip to visit family and on the way we played the Soundtrack to RENT quite a bit. We sang and sang to it. It was just a great way to spend the time singing the great music of RENT.

December 1st was World's Aids Day and it is the first year in many that I forgot. I didn't mention it or even think about. And I feel ashamed. Years ago it was something that I think was more up in the face with education and awareness. And it bothers me "that" has disappeared because I know HIV/AIDS hasn't disappeared. Stats -- 33.2 million people living with HIV/AIDS in 2007. It is hard to think about so many people suffering. But is something I don't want to ignore or pretend isn't an issue...it is still here. And I hope that one day there will be a cure.

Jonathan Larson – Seasons Of Love (Album Version)

(from Last.fm -- not sure I am posting it right so hopefully it works!)

Seasons of Love....just a few of the lyrics...

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Moments so dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
In Daylights - In Sunsets
In Midnights - In Cups Of Coffee
In Inches - In Miles
In Laughter - In Strife

In - Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure
A Year In The Life?

How About Love?
How About Love?
How About Love?
Measure In Love

Seasons of Love.
Seasons of Love.