Friday, June 29, 2012

Spitting as Lube

When I was married, my husband slapped and spit on my face a few times. It always turned me on. I remember he was fucking me really hard one afternoon and said to me "I really want to slap your face and spit on you" and the thought made me moan and push up to meet him. I nodded that it turned me on....so he did it.  I have had my face spit on by a few men in my life since then....Master being one of them. And it is a turn on.  Yes it can go on that verge of being gross to me but most of the time I am so sexually in my frenzy that almost anything done to me is fine. I love that state.

But spit as lube- grosses me out.  I had a few clients try that when I was an escort but I usually reached over for the lube and asked them to just do a little squirt of it.  But mostly where I see spitting used as lube is in porn.  I am watching the porn to get turned on and then they spit and it really squicks me.

I am not sure I get using spit as lube. I mean you are making a porn and have availability to all these toys and condoms on the toys but you don't have time to put a bottle of lube out to use? I know in Lesbian porn yes they are going to go down on each other but I know there has to be a lube that has a tolerable taste out there to use.  I haven't just seen this in lesbian porn, but also in hetrosexual porn too - men seem to spit on the girl's pussy lots for lube.  It turns me off.  

Master, teacup and I watched Whippedass.com Lesbian BDSM Volume 1 and they used spit ALL the time to the point we could predict when the next spit lubing was coming up and turn away because it grossed teacup and I out. It just made us cringe, turn away and wait for the next beating because sex always included spitting. Yucky!


Plus I read once using spit as lube can cause yeast infections.  Thinking of all the spit used in that DVD...um yeah...gross. 


Please if you are reading this don't just assume using your spit as lube is okay. Please ask the girl what she prefers.  Please if you make porn - make sure your actors/actresses have lube on set and don't use spit. 

Thursday, June 28, 2012

50 Shades of Grey

I just finished all 3 books of Fifty Shades of Grey.  I am sure much of the BDSM community is up in the arms about 50 Shades of Grey (I haven't had time to look on FetLife to see what people are saying about it.).  I am sure they are berating it for portraying our lifestyle "wrong" because those that get into it must be 50 shades of fucked up to do what we do. Or they a berating for bringing flocks of people into our lifestyle that don't have a clue what the lifestyle is about.  Neither of those things bother me because something happened recently that made me remember something...

While teacup was here, we watched an old favorite of mine 9 1/2 Weeks.  It is a favorite for very sentimental reasons because it was the first time I watched a mainstream movie and felt a spark of recognition. It wasn't that it was exactly like I wanted or had in my life even at the time but it sparked something in me that went yes I can see some of this in my life and it makes me hot.  I remember my ex-husband being more comfortable with the kink we had in our sex life after watching that movie.  It did spice up our sex life.  Same thing happened when I read bodice ripper type books for the first time - they made me wet and fed my fantasies which in turn helped my sex life.

I am sure that many vanilla's reading the book and getting hot by it which isn't a bad thing to me.  It helps them spice up their sex life and have some fun - so be it! I am all for having fun and spicing up the sex life - yay! Go for it!

I will say that when I started these books, I was surprised that vanilla women/soccer type Mom's were swooning over these book.  I couldn't wrap my mind around it - that they were really okay with handing that much control over, being spanked and tied up? Really? I am not sure why it shocked me so much but it did shock me.  I don't consider being tied up and spanked mainstream.  I know many people in the lifestyle do, but I don't. You might see it here and there on mainstream tv or movies but it is not a norm in the entertainment world.  So it isn't mainstream to me.

I asked several friends and my sisters about the books because I was really curious about why these books were all the rage with vanilla women. (BTW we don't have tv and I hadn't read anything online about these books or even heard about the books until a BDSM friend wrote me and asked me if I had read them.)  It  was confirmed by a friend who is a mommy (also a slave) and hangs around with many vanilla mommies.  These Moms didn't feel any woman should be handing over any control like that but the kinky fuckery well that was spicing up their sex life and that was good. I can wrap my mind around that for the most part. I couldn't with the control. I know that many women even in the lifestyle have problems with the amount of control I hand over so for me to wrap my mind around vanilla women being okay with it - I was struggling with that thought. And as it turns out they would have a problem with it so not like I could out myself to vanilla family or friends.

I really didn't have a problem with how the book portrayed BDSM. I thought they did good with having safewords and describing limits and such.  But just the over all writing was bad and phrases and situations were repetitious. Such as if I had to read one more time how his jeans hung off his hips, or her biting her lip and what that did to him, and his over jealous attitude - I thought I was going to scream.  But the over all story - and the kinky fuckery were fine with me.  It didn't turn me on really as it was kind of like soft kinky porn instead of the more heavy SM that I enjoy.  The other thing I didn't like was - I do feel it made it seem like Christain was involved in BDSM because of his fucked up past so that did make me wonder if vanilla women reading this would think that too. But obviously they are enjoying the kinky fuckery in their own bedrooms so they aren't thinking too much on the Christian being fucked up and doing BDSM.

Again overall the books were okay.  I am glad I read them because I wanted to know what all the hoopla was about them. I am glad they had kinky fuckery even up to the last pages.  It is great that it is spicing up sex lives.  I just wish it was better writing like Laura Antoniou 's books. Those are yummy!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

last week

photo by Master - Latex Patrol Officer in Denver - click on photo for bigger view
* teacup was here last week. This time even though it was almost 12 more hours she was here...it felt shorter.  We are very sad she had to go.

* We had some amazing memories created though. We went out to our desert spot and Master had us get naked and used the single tail and cat-o-nine on us.  We watched the sunset and then stayed until stars came out and watched those for a while too. It was a very nice evening.  Before we left though Master was looking through some bondage books and he ended up hitting me with one bondage book - out of all the BDSM toys we have and he uses on me - I hardly EVER bruise. But I did with the book.

* We were able to take a day trip back to where Master collared teacup. Master and teacup went out for dinner - had a date night  for their 2 month collarversary.

* Master had a last minute add to his work schedule that took us all out of town.  We got to go through beautiful country and mountain passes and the place we ended up in was equally beautiful. We stayed a little ways out of the town he was working - at a resort that ended up being cheaper than staying in town. The room was great...had a kitchenette and beautiful view and king size bed so we could all sleep together. (at home we have queen size bed so that isn't possible.)

We played quite a bit and I realized something there that Master awoke the masochist in me a while back when he used the single tail on me.  Ever since then I can handle the pain better and just enjoy the pain as each implement hits my skin.

On the way there teacup and I had to wear butt plugs. I wore the Njoy Pure plug large anal sex toy and teacup wore the Tantus Ryder Butt plug on the way to our destination. There were many bumps in the road that Master liked to hit and cause us to squirm.

We watched 9 1/2 Weeks and then teacup and I dressed up for Master matching hoods and gloves topping off each of our looks.  It was funny at one point - we were both done dressing and I was seeing if she was ready to lifted the mouth in my hood to see out and here she was peering back at me the same way by lifting the mouth of hood to see me. We both burst into giggles - all the while Master is laying on the bed with his eyes closed letting us surprise him with our outfits. It was pretty funny but I am sure it was one of those moments in which you had to be there.

While Master worked on the second day, teacup and I went into some little shops and went to take photos. It was nice to just have that time alone to talk and hang out.

*  On Saturday I laid out pillows and blankets on the living room floor. I added the Liberator ramp and did something I have tried before but was hard without really hurting Master's knees as he just can't be on his knees at all - very long.  The Liberator helped us out with this.  It takes the pressure off the knees - at least it does for all 3 of us.  He was able to be on his knees so I had access to his ass and rimmed him.  teacup played with his cock and balls and I played with his ass all while watching BDSM lesbian porn (which I will do a post just on the porn at some point.)   After orgasms from Master and teacup, Master beat me. He used lots of different toys on me - toys we haven't used in years.  It was fun.  Even though he beat me hard and for quite a long time - still no bruises. He says he is just going to beat me with a door knob from now on as I can run into a door knob and bruise but he can beat me with all sorts of toys and not make a lasting mark.

* Food this time was a flop. I just couldn't get anything right with regards to our meals.  I made homemade hoagies which I have made several times before - and this time they wouldn't raise.  I made meatball sub casserole and it turned out too soggy. I made philly steak mixture and it turned out blah. It just didn't work out for me this time.

* Movies - we watched the Matrix trilogy as teacup hadn't seen it before and we really like them.  We also watched - The Pet, 9 1/2 weeks and Whippedass.com Lesbian BDSM Volume 1. More about The Pet and the Whippedass.com dvd later.

* Last time teacup was here - it was her vacation so I had a hard time not only letting her help me with things because in my mind it was her vacation and she should rest but also it is giving up things I do for Master to her and it is hard to do that.  But I know she wants to help, I know Master wants her to help and so this time I did let go some.  She helped me out several times and I am thankful she is patient with my OCD tendencies - especially when it comes to loading the dishwasher. I really had to almost sit on my hands when she loaded the dishwasher because I am so ocd about how it is loaded.  Master threatened to come cuff me to the chair.  But I got through it and she was so nice in being patient with me.  We found ways for her to serve Master more this time and I am sure it will just get easier as time goes on.

* So being the realist - I will mention we of course had bumps.  Mostly just me having issues spring up.  Some of it is stuff I went through in the past when I lived in the poly household in Ohio.  Some of it is just baggage from Master and I that rears its ugly head.  Some of just my self-confidence tapes playing.  It is just how it is and each time things like this happen we talk it out. It isn't always pretty and it can be hard to resolve and let go at times.  But we still keep moving forward so that is good.

* Friends - we were able to have teacup meet up with 3 friends.  One friend Master has known since high school. She knows of our lifestyle both poly and the M/s.  She came with us to pick up teacup at the airport.  We were able to hang with her most of the afternoon and evening - it was so much fun! I love her to pieces!

We also met up with local lifestyle friends on our back from our trip.  It was so good to see them. They are always a pleasure to be around and I am thankful teacup could meet them.


It was hard to see her go. It always is hard. We won't get to see her again until November so we are all very sad that there is a such a long time between visits this time. But we are also all crossing our fingers that something can be worked out that maybe we might get a chance to see each other before then.  Master and I have each other but teacup is alone remembering how that was when I was without him - I know how hard that can be. I just wish we could make it easier for her.  It is hard and we just all have to keep looking forward to the next time and hang on the wonder memories we have created.


*** photo was taken when we were in Denver to take teacup back to the airport.

Friday, June 22, 2012

30 Days of Kink - Day 5

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience?  If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.


The first time I had consensual sex at 16 with my boyfriend, I was tied up and spanked. He was 18.  We worked together.  He had graduated when he was 17 and modeling and then working part-time at the same pizza place I worked. 


Anyway, I was spanked by him several times before we had sex. We were joking around, he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me over his lap to give me an over the knee spanking for being bad. I played along with it kind of struggling at first but then when he got going - I realized how much it was turning me on. I just kind of melted into it.  I could feel that it was turning him on so I rubbed against him. We ended up making out for a bit and I gave him a hand job.   


Spanking became a norm to our making out.  He sometimes tied me up and spanked me.  It just depended on where we were and how much alone time we were going to have.  One day he then gave me a spanking and he was fingering me every so often between spanks. I was dripping and bucking back against his hand/fingers. I was extremely turned on.  After the spanking he told me to get on my knees and suck him. While I sucked him, he was talking about how wet I was and how he wanted to fuck me.  We hadn't done intercourse up to this point. I remember looking up at him, nodding, and saying, "yes please." He grabbed me and pulled up in his arms kissing me hard.   He placed me on his bed where he tied my wrists above my head to the headboard and then fucked me.  I didn't have an orgasm, but I just remember thinking that it felt so good to have him in me.  After that being spanked, tied up and having sex was pretty standard for us and pretty light kink but still on the kinky side of things.


I broke up with him basically because of my Mom realized I was most likely having sex and grounding me. He also moved shortly after. 


previous answered questions

Monday, June 18, 2012

Slut

When I was married, I bought a pair of shoes that were out of my norm. They were sexy black high heels. I had been drawn to them in the store and said to myself just try them on does not mean you need to buy them.  But of course that didn't happen. I put them on and saw how my legs looked in them...how sexy they made me look and they ended coming home with me.  

I showed them to my husband that night. Putting them on and modeling them. He nodded and smiled - but really didn't offer any comment on them.  He didn't seem overly enthusiastic and it bothered me.  Later that week, I decided maybe I should bring them back because he didn't seem to like them on me.  So I put them on a table in our living room so that I would remember to take them back. 

My ex-husband asked why they were there and I said "I am taking them back because you didn't seem to like me in them."  He looked at the shoes for a moment and then me and said, "I just am not sure why you bought them. They made you look like a slut."  He walked away to go to do something after he said that. I held in the tears.  My husband had just called me a slut and it cut me.  It wasn't something I wanted to hear or liked to hear.  It is so odd how I can see the shoes on the table in my mind so clearly even today 15 years later.

The shoes went back within hours of him calling me a slut because I was so upset.  I later told him that I thought they made me look sexy. He went on to explain that it looked like I was wanting to go out and fuck a football team with them because they were fuck me heels so I just looked like a slut ready to give it up to anyone.  I cried. He soothed me and told me I wasn't a slut and he didn't want his wife to look like a slut.  So no sexy high heels for me.

The word slut stung though. I didn't like then. I felt ashamed.  I felt dirty and just bad to be called a slut. 

But that changed...

My first relationship after my marriage was a D/s one.  He called me a slut and at first I wanted to hide from it.  He saw the reaction and he then told me how he loved that I was so responsive to his touch and words, he loved the I was sexual and wanton and that is what made me a slut in eyes...my sexual nature.  He used it more and more and each time I grew wetter.  It started to turn me on to be called a slut.  I even felt pride being a slut for him.  I learned to embrace the word slut from then on. But I did get tripped up with it every so often still. 

When I moved to Ohio, I often came back to where my ex-husband lived. I had family and friends in the area. My ex-husband and I were friend at that time - we aren't anymore.  I would stay with him when I came back. One time shortly after I had moved to Ohio, I came back to get some of my stuff and stayed with him.   While there I was seeing friends and family too. So one night I was going to go out with a friend for dinner and I came out of the bedroom dressed in a short skirt, a blouse showing off cleavage, thigh highs and high heels. My ex-husband told me I looked like a slut.  It started those old tapes of him saying that before - I ran to the bedroom crying.  I called and cancelled on my friend as I was so upset. 

I tried to remind myself that many men liked it that I looked sexy and that I was a sexual creature. But my ex-husband obviously didn't.   It was his issue.  But it had ruined the moment and I couldn't get myself past it for while. But eventually with Kam, I got myself past the word slut again. He reminded me why I liked it and why I should embrace it. 

So on another visit to my ex-husbands, I was going out to a BDSM play party in the area with friends, so I came out of the bedroom dressed in a short skirt leather skirt with a slit on the thigh, a blouse that laced up the front displaying my cleavage, thigh highs, and sexy high heels.  My ex-husband looked at me and said "you look like a slut."  I looked at him and with a huge smile on my face said, "damn right and damn proud to be one."  He looked at me like I had grown another head. I explained I didn't find that word to be a bad word anymore. That I was sexy and sexual and enjoyed my sexual nature and it wasn't a bad thing - it was a good thing. It made me feel good. He just shook his head. He didn't get it.  I went to my party and had fun. I didn't let his issues with the word ruin it for me.  

In all my following relationships, I have been called a slut and it makes me blush at times but in ways that are good that remind me who I am and what I enjoy.  It is a term of endearment to me now. 

Sunday, June 17, 2012

30 Days of Kink - Day 4

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?


Well I really should have read the next few questions, before answering Day 3.  As I feel I covered this in some ways.  But to expand on it a bit I think many things point to my desire to serve as well as my kinky desires in my early experiences. Really what I think was most overt was that all my intimate relationships had some sort of authority - submission type dynamic and kink in them.  There were a few boys that were just sex and no kink or  dynamic.  But longer term relationships, always had undertones of a D/s dynamic and had kink in them.  I am thankful they did - it always felt better more relaxed when I was in a relationship that had D/s undertones and kink.   Obviously I was more comfortable as I was allowed to just be me.  


previous answered questions

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Magic Cream

I have shaved the hair on my pussy on and off over the years. I like the way it feels when it is smooth.  I like the way fabric feels against it. I like wearing no panties and feeling air hit my skin as I wear skirts and dresses.  I just like the way it feels. I don't stay shaved all the time though.

Master doesn't have a strict policy on being shaved, but he enjoys it so when I do need to shave clean I start with Magic Cream. I have used regular and mild, but mostly just used mild in the past because the regular burned a little.   They changed their look lately though - possibly the formula and regular this time was better than the mild of the old formula/look.  It worked just as well though.

I suggest of course following the directions on the back and doing a test patch because it can burn if you don't.  I have sensitive skin though and hadn't any problems with the mild and...now the regular.

You rub it on the hair - without water. You put the creamy paste on fairly thick and let it sit for 7 to 9 mins.  Then you just scrap it off - with a spatula or washcloth.  I find that I first scrap off with a washcloth outside the shower.  And then taking and scrubbing it off with a washcloth in the shower works best for me but I would suggest following the directions first and doing it their way. It will not be perfectly smooth.  But it will be close.

I wait 24 hours and then I shave. It feels very close then.  I don't have to do much to keep it up after that.

I picked up Magic Cream at Target in the men's shaving section (our local Target has a woman's shaving section in one area and men's shaving section in another.)  I have seen it at some Walgreen's in the past too - just depends on the town you live in. You can order it online too.

Edit Added August 6, 2012:  Someone I know who uses this also - keeps it on for 15 minutes. She has found that keeping it on longer works better for her. The next time I use it, I am going to keep it on longer to see if works even better than usual.  Also the smell of this product doesn't bring the sexy - as it smells like rotten eggs.  

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

30 Days of Kink - Day 3



Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?


I am not sure how I discovered I was kinky. The reason being at first I didn't have words for what it was I was doing. I thought it was what other people did too. 


Well...though...if we started way back -  when I was a little girl I loved having boys tie me up. Playing that I was kidnapped by them.   Growing up reading - I always loved the bodice rippers that the damsel in distress was kidnapped and forced by the rugged rouge and ends up falling madly in love with him after he has taken her.  


The first time I had consensual sex at 16 with my boyfriend, I was tied up and spanked.  When I was 18, I was owned but didn't really have the word Master/slave or BDSM.  He told me I was his to do with what he wanted. He told me I would do whatever he asked of me.  And I did.  We engaged in heavy SM and really it was a M/s or Owner/property type dynamic but without the labels.  


I then married my high school sweetheart and although we had some of a partnership from the outside.  It was more of me deferring to him.  We engaged in kink in the bedroom.  And outside of the bedroom I was his wife who served him and obeyed him. He told me to do something I did it.   


I discovered there were words for what we engaged in when I was married.  I wanted to have anal sex and we tried a few times but it was just too painful.  I wasn't ready to give up so  when we got hooked up to the world wide web  - I decided one afternoon to search for anal sex tips so that it would make it easier for us.  My ex-husband was on the verge of saying lets not try again -because he felt he hurt me too much so I really wanted to find something that would help us get past the initial pain and enjoy it.  I did find something - not sure what it was exactly but it worked.  After that, we loved having anal sex  though.  And it was also while searching for anal sex tips that I found a bulletin board for submissives.   There had been a thread on how to please your Master by taking it in the ass. But I read many other threads on the board and was nodding along with many of them - going wow this is how I feel.  I was surprised to see a lifestyle attached to words I had lived in my relationships.   


So I printed off stuff and gave it to my husband to read.  He was freaked out at first and then he calmed down a bit and we started to have a relationship that was leaning even further into the dynamic we had established naturally as husband and wife.  Eventually though...my husband felt it was "wrong" and that being kinky was too freaky.  That I was a freak for wanting this.  It really hurt our relationship discovering the "labels" to our relationship.  


We had other issues too but eventually we divorced and I sought out M/s dynamic.  I knew I didn't want to live without it in my life.  


Previous answered questions

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Serving When it is Hard

Rayne of Insatiable Desire did a good post that I could relate too in many ways.   

I really enjoyed a few lines in the post, but going to post this one: "it doesn't matter how I behave when things are going exactly how I think they should go. It matters how I behave when he’s sick, or tired, or too busy to be constantly in my face about my slavery, or just doesn't want to, or whatever. "  

 When I was first with Master, of course, we were still figuring out the relationship. I mean we were Master/slave but more just finding how or which ways he wanted to be served.  Learning his likes and dislikes. Him learning how to mold me into what he needed and so on. Basically training me to serve the way he desired. 

About half way through my first year with Master, his work exploded - he wasn't self-employed at the time.  It was really hard on me because I didn't get online much in those days (still dial up and needed to have phone free for when Master called), I was alone all day often 10 to 12 hours a day because his hours were so long.  I learned to serve him, but it was hard to serve because I didn't get much attention....no the better word is connection. Master and I couldn't connect on levels we needed to fuel the relationship in ways we desired. Our foundation was still in tact - but without connecting our relationship suffered.  I was still his slave and here to serve him no matter if we didn't get to talk all day (because he would come home so exhausted he just wanted quiet ), didn't touch, hug, kiss sometimes for days on end...let alone do SM or have sex.

It is a period we both look back and realize making it through that means we can make it through anything.  It made our relationship stronger.  

Yes, it was hard not to get things we both desired. We both wanted more sex and SM. We both wanted just to have time with each other. It could have been easy to complain and that isn't to say I didn't...I did but overall I just served the best I could in the situation. I wanted to enhance his life and make his life easier when the rest of his life was so out of control and so hard on him. So I kept serving.  

So serving during that time was hard but I know without a doubt - I enhanced his life by serving him even when it was difficult on both of us. 

Saturday, June 02, 2012

Approach or Not?

Something I have thought about before but have never had happen was what if we saw kinky friend or acquaintance we have known from online or face to face from events and such out and about doing shopping or work stuff...do you approach or not?  I mean first I think it matters if they are with other people. If there are other people around, I probably wouldn't want to approach because I wouldn't want them to have to explain to the people they are with how he/she knows us.

But what if they are by themselves. I mean people are around but the person is by him/herself just walking out of a building...how about then?

Well....we had that happen yesterday.  Someone I have known online for quite a while and always wanted to meet was coming down the hall as we came out of a room we had just been working in.  We had all of our equipment and were heading to the elevator. I was in front and Master was pushing our big cart full of equipment.  A woman was walking down the hall and we both looked at each other and smile. It was a smile of recognizing each other.  I looked back at Master and he had the same expression of he felt he knew her too.

We had just a split moment to make a decision. Do we say something? Or do we let the moment pass?  She was walking out of the building alone and we were done for the day and about to walk to the elevator.  So Master said "excuse me" but the man that was walking behind her turned around so I said, "Ma'am"  As in the moment the only name that I could think of was her Fetlife name something I am not going to use in a public place such as that.   She turned and came back with a smile.  We said that we felt we knew each other and smiled in that knowing smile that says yes we know each other being kinky.

She recognized me from my photos, but not Master but that is understandable as their aren't that many photos of Master out there on FetLife or our blogs/website.

It was really nice to meet her and just talk to her a few moments, gave each other hugs and went on our way. But  I am so glad we decided to stop her and not let the moment pass wondering.   She is someone I have always wanted to meet and thankful we stopped her even though the place we were meeting wasn't the most usual place to run into like-minded folks.
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