Positive Monday - December 4th

I try to do a Positive Monday as Monday's often seem to a hard day of the week.

So here are 5 good things in my life...

1. Mail Love - Mail Love was in abundance! I got a package from my favorite girlie stuffed full of recipes, a cookbook and magnetic "paper" dolls that are gingerboy and girl. They have little pieces to decorate them and are just too adorable for words. I can't wait to get them up they will be great when I am baking, while something is in the oven I can play! I also got a few other things from girlie and her Sir. Thank you both so much it was very sweet of you guys!

Last year my family did up a big package for Master and I. In it was one little special package to open every day until Christmas. Last year there was gourmet hot cocoa packets, M&M's, slipper socks, notepads and such. Well they decided to do the same thing again this year and so we have opened 4 gifts: recipe cards & holder that have candy canes on them, holiday spatulas, 2 magnetic notepads, holiday sprinkles for cookies and baked goods, little holiday paper cupcake liners, and a ceramic spoon holder. It is very thoughtful of my family and Master and I get such a kick out of it. It is fun to see what they came up with and it is nice to feel their love through their extraordinary thoughtfulness.

2. Birthdays - Master's birthday is coming up this week and so I am excited about it and happy to be celebrating Him. He is a wonderful man that daily I see all the reasons I fell in love with him. And how lucky I am to be his slave. I know this past year was a hard year but exciting at the same time. I love you Master!

3. Comments and emails - I want to thank the people who have left comments and sent me emails on my last entry. It was hard entry to write as it was personal and made me very nostalgic for Christmas' past. So thank you for the comments and emails telling me how it touched you. Thank you!

4. Water - I have been drinking so much water today. It is good and refreshing.

5. Warm clothes - Thermals, cuddl duds, soft sweaters, sueded cotton sweatshirt, long sleeve thick t-shirts from Eddie Bauer (that I have had for 13 years and still in great condition), wool socks, knitted socks, fleece purple bathrobe... all items that keep me warm when it is Oh so cold here!

Question 8 - to the ask me ANYTHING post

From my Ask me ANYTHING post: If you could give one piece of advice to new D/s couples what would that be?

Only one?

Really that main thing that comes to mind is...that just because you are now doing a form of BDSM - the vanilla things are not suddenly transformed into something more...more exciting, titillating, erotic, sexy and so on. Paying the bills is just paying the bills. Washing the dishes is just washing the dishes.

So my advice would be not to expect reality to change into a wonderful fantasy we read about in smut. Yes we all go through that honeymoon period where all seems to be transformed, but life does intervene and it is OKAY. It doesn't mean that you are suddenly vanilla just because you do vanilla things.

Just keep the foundation in mind which reminds me of something I wrote for a workshop Master and I did at SMARTfest.

This is part 4 of 4 (Link to other all 4 parts - remember this was a speech made into essays so might read like talking to an audience and that is because we were)

A guide to a living a D/s or M/s relationship within Reality:

1) Be honest

Be honest about your wants, needs, things that are grating on your nerves, little pieces of information about your partners that drive you nuts. Be honest how you feel and what you are thinking. Be respectful to each other when expressing all these honest feelings. This goes for both dominant and submissive.

2) Take things at one's own pace and moving forward only when it feels right.

You don't need to speed through things. If you have faith in your goals and foundation then you will get there when it is right. And just because you are going slow does not mean you are not in an D/s or M/s relationship.

3) Have great sex and great SM in your relationship.

We hope you all know how to do this one. If you are not having great sex and great SM, figure out why not and fix it. If it is just not enough time - make time. If it means putting off the laundry for an hour or taking a quickie at lunch while kids are at school then MAKE it happen! (That is if your relationship involves sex and SM)

4) Do not compromise the basic structure and dynamic.

This one - to us - is big for keeping things set in reality. We are sons/daughters, friends, fathers/mothers, husbands/wives, employees and we can still have our D/s dynamic and be all those things. We don't have to say, "oh now I am vanilla and now I am doing D/s." Don't let the activities you do - such as protocols or SM - rule your dynamic. Let the foundation rule your dynamic. If you make D/s a part of your foundation and don't compromise that dynamic then you can keep your D/s set in reality.

5) Have a common commitment to the relationship.

This is what makes D/s and M/s relationships work. If you and your Dominant/submissive are striving towards the same goal with the same intensity, faith and degree of commitment, then you will make it work within reality.

One last thing again...The goal in creating a solid foundation is combining the dominance and submission - intertwining them to make it your lifestyle...your life. It should be woven together so that your daily life can be seen as a D/s or M/s dynamic to you even in the most vanilla of situations. But also don't complicate things by separating aspects and activities in your life as D/s or vanilla. Don't let the activities you do define your relationship. Make your dynamic your life.

Here is where I am....

...randomness...

domestic - Master bought me a new ironing board pad so today I spent 2 hours ironing it is amazing what the new pad did to the shirts.....they were so much crisper then they usually were the thin little pad that was there. Yes it is the simple domestic pleasures I enjoy! I also folded some clothes (more to go) and sewed up some holes in my favorite dress that I wanted to pack with us.

clothes - speaking of my favorite dress...do you have that piece of clothing that you get lots of compliments in and is one of the most comfortable pieces you have....this is my favorite dresses. Everyone always tells me I look so pretty in it but that dress 1) cost me next to nothing and 2) is so damn comfortable. And that because it is so comfortable it is my favorite summertime dress. It is one of those dresses that has the rayon string strap sundress and then it has a gauzy type second dress over it. So that dress had to come with me. I knew I would have to dress up a little more for this event....so I drug out some clothes that I don't get a chance to wear very often. But I didn't like how one outfit looked so I took a scarf and then tied that around my waist. And while I don't think it looked too bad - I still was just so very self conscious as I just don't wear things around my waist/stomach very often. I am the type of girl who hates to tuck things in too...always have been that way even when I was a size 8. As a What not to Wear viewer I know that at times doing the scarf around the waist....actually takes away from the stomach because it was creating a different line then it was before. Now it shows curves instead of as before I felt like a column with a bubble in the middle of it. So anyway, I tried it on it wasn't horrible but it is not something I am used to either so I asked Master what he thought and he really liked it. I told him I might try it on for our friend that is going with us to see what she thinks...so I get the female perspective. Master did fake crying because I couldn't just take his opinion since you know he is such a fashionista. (grins)

mail love - I got a card with a pink high heel on it that was just so cute and then my friend said the most wonderful things in it that made me cry....good tears. Thank you kaylee!

Daddy - I have the bestest Daddy. I got hooked on paid livejournal and so he bought me some more time....so I have the BESTEST Daddy! I love you! Thank you for the wonderful treat! So now I can keep doing polls and phone posts over there.

high maintenance - because of comments that I have received from the post on it - it has made me really think about it even more. Anyway, when I lived in Ohio and Master was in Colorado it was ROUGH! I am sure all my friend's in Ohio would agree as I am sure they were probably pretty fed up with me. Anyway, I felt insecure and all sorts of issues were coming up so I probably was high maintenance then. But....when it comes down to it. It had nothing to do with me really wanting attention or being needy -- it was totally my issues. My issues from past baggage. My fears of what if this relationship doesn't turn out. What if is just like the rest. What if I fail him. My fears of what if he doesn't want to keep me. What if....what if...what if. So to me if Master were just giving me attention or instruction - the issues would never be resolved as we would have been covering up the problem with a bandaid but never cleaning it out and really looking at it so could be healed. So I do wonder if that is actually what goes on with others...they feel cared for and quells those fears and what ifs in that moment when they get the attention and instruction but it is like a quick fix...never really solving the problem and what really causes it in the first place.

out of town - We leave to go out of town tomorrow and won't be back until Tuesday late so there won't be any update until either late Tuesday if I am awake but most likely it won't be until Wednesday.

Bits & Pieces

Mail Love - Last Week I was having a really rough week with the dental appointment and the pain was just not going away and on Friday I got a pick me up that made me very grateful for the wonderful friends I have... blown away by the kindness. I got a package in the mail on Friday that was so wonderful - full of gifts to pamper a girl - bath beads, makeup, Godiva chocolate bar and more! Very Thankful to my kind friend!

BDSM Easter Eggs - Saturday evening of course was spent on the eggs. It was a lot of fun! I realized I maybe should have done captions on them but it was late when I put it up so I didn't think about it until the next day. Master and I made the props and then set the scene up on our dining room table on a piece of velvet. A friend of his suggested doing BDSM Easter eggs earlier in the day and so Master said that her and I are not longer allowed to play together because He ended up indulging his little girl by doing the eggs. Although I know he had fun....not that he will admit I am sure.

Links - Here is a cute 404 page a friend posted over on LiveJournal. Also if you have not seen the one Master did for our website please check it out too...as it is very cute!

Recently several lists I am on have been having talks about transgender...and it has come up in conversations a lot also....Here is a video clip from Buck Angel. I like what he has to say. And damn he is sexy! *drool*


Friends - I don't have a lot of local friends and so I rely heavily on the friends I have made online. Last night I got a chance to chat with 4 lovely ladies all at once online and it was so nice. We laughed, and talked boys and girls and all sorts of fun stuff. I was just able to be me and not worry about what I was saying -- which happens lots with our local "vanilla" friends - worrying that I might say something that will give our lifestyle away. Anyway, it was a very nice time to just have some fun and relax into some good girl time. IT gave me back some much needed sanity!

Lots of Random Bits

Dentist - Well I haven't been posting much this week because I had dental work done this week that was pretty intensive *for me* and so I haven't been feeling well. I just been in pain and not able to stand doing much for any length of time.

Art - I actually broke my artist block this past weekend and so have been creating. Yay!

Mail Love - I have quite a few bits of mail love that needs to go out and I got a piece from one of my lovely friends. The card was so pretty I am going to hang it up as inspiration for art but eventually it might be cut and used in a piece as it has some beautiful butterflies on it and if anyone has seen my art before -- I have a thing for butterflies. Flight, reborn, color, delicate and strong...and so on...there are just so many wonderful qualities.

Food - Daddy made me pancakes last night as it was soft for my mouth and you would have thought I was having an orgasm with just one bit. After eating jello and ice cream for almost 24 hours - really having more solid food was so incredible I almost could have had an orgasm (with permission of course - *grin*). I love this recipe that we use for pancake - they taste so delish!

M/s Moment - Today a friend was talking about an trip she will be having with her Sir. In the things she mentioned it made me recall a moment within our M/s dynamic with Master that I thought I would share....

Master and I went to get my stuff in Ohio several months after I moved here. We went through the boxes and such as Master didn't want me to bring anything that I didn't need or want - or let me rephrase that...what He didn't need or want. So, we got to a Ohio and started to go through things - one thing was a big rubber maid storage container full of purses. And Master told me that I didn't those. Now I have a thing for purses...so Him telling me I can't have my purses made my eyes go wide and my lip start to go out...pouting. I looked at Him like he had to be kidding...right?? No, He wasn't kidding. He said that I don't own anything and so I didn't need a purse. I don't carry a purse with Master at all and it has been that way from day one - when I first visited Him - He took my purse and put it and all my clothes and personal away. I had to ask for everything and most of the time I wasn't granted it. Back on track...so I explained to Him reasons I might need a purse and He then allowed me 3 purses from the whole bin of them! Oh my gawd! It was so hard to choose.

Now saying all that I didn't cry or get mad....I got turned on when He did that. I got so wet and turned on....silly me! Weird how that happens. Again just a little moment that...doesn't mean much in the wide scope of things but it is something I know I will never forget.

Easter, Art and Parents - We don't' have anything planned for Easter as we really don't celebrate it. Even though I love Easter candy! Jelly Beans! YUM!

My Mom asked us what we were doing and I said probably nothing - I forgot it was Easter - and we really don't celebrate it. She just didn't say anything. I am sure she was thinking her daughter is going to hell. I actually had a pretty horrible conversation with her the last time I spoke and I am trying to not let the negativity get to me. I don't have many conversations with her that get to me - at least not in a very long time. I told her I might start setting up an ebay and esty site to sell my art and a normal response would be --- "That is great" or "good for you" and my Mom just said "Oh" with that slight tentativeness in her voice to say, "well you won't sell anything" A few other comments - made it for a highly negative conversation although I am sure she never got that I was upset as I try not to tell her know that anymore or she just pushes the subject more to try to justify her point and makes it 10 times worse.

I guess I will finish up working on the website things I am changing and adding and then call it a night as my mouth is hurting a lot tonight.

Random: TV, Trip, Food, Mail, Email, To Do

I can't sleep so some randomness...

TV

Sci-Fi is going to start running Firefly! I can't wait to watch them all again. I am such a Joss Whedon whore!

I am a sucker for Extreme Makeover Home Edition with Ty Pennington. As strange as this sounds it is the ONLY time we have local TV on.....and it just happened today because we got home around the time the TV timer came on to that show. I just cry and cry during it always. Tonight's was especially heart warming to me and so I went through almost 10 Kleenex!

I just saw an advertisement for The Closer which I know quite a few people are watching....and it looks like it will have an SM theme going on tomorrow night.

TRIP

Missed our kitty cats while gone

It went past fast but we accomplished the things needed too. It went better then I thought it would.

Even got some art done that I hope to finish it off with a shadow box frame. I altered a CD - covering it with strips of cloth and then sewing beads on it. I need to find one that is relatively cheap though - so if anyone has any ideas where I can find one please let me know. (6x6 or 8x8)

We leave again -- on Thursday to go out of town for the weekend again...that takes a lot out of me and I am sure when we get back I will be going into hibernation for a bit.

FOOD

We had really good pizza on Friday night. I want to look for the recipe for the dough online it was so good.

I am stuffed and we ate hours ago

Not food but I have went through 3 bottles of water within about 2 1/2 hours and I think I will be up urinating all night long

EMAIL/ONLINE

I got an email from someone living the area....and I have come to think I am a snob. I will explain this more I am sure later. It is a rant I do often of wanting to find M/s couples to form friendships with but not finding them.

Then the young college boy that wrote recently annoyed me too -- writing under the guise of learning more about BDSM, but also wanting pictures. Then sends me an invitation to join a picture sharing site -- where I basically I join and have a folder for pictures for him.

MAIL

Need to send out ATC's to several people....one was sent out Friday before we left as it was long over due. The rest are all ready to go...just need to get them mailed. Two are going over seas so I need to bring those to the post office. And I think the third might be a bit heavier then a 37 cent stamp so that will probably make a trip to the post office also.

I have a little package started for DM that I need to finish getting together and mailed out

I have a little something for Jessica, but need her new address - so if you read this could you email me that pretty please

I need to drop Lauren an email (which I will do right now) so that I can make sure I have her snail mail right to send her some art

Need to discuss with Master sending something else off that has been on my mind lately.

Need to email my best friend from high school as I owe her an email big time as she wrote me a really really long one a while back and I never answered it.

MONDAY TASKS TO REMEMBER

Need to wash the floor in the kitchen as it is a mess even though I washed it 2 times last week

Need to get packages together so we can take to mail before we go out of town again

Start on the themed ATC swap that I joined and hopefully get those sent out before we leave also

Unpack and do wash

then start a new pile to pack

Regular chores of course too

Little Tidbits

This is going to be a random list of little life update tidbits...

Thank you Thank you to a friend for the wonderful package of paper and great ATC! I still owe you an atc and I will get that out next week....I am sorry!

Thank you Thank you DM Ma`am for the package! I have some things together that I need to get to you also! (side note: I loved the stickers on the envelope too, Ma`am)

I am a wimp! Today I had several moles removed to get tested for skin cancer and I am in pain. Well one spot was on my left shoulder blade. So now every time I move my left arm and hand it hurts (I am left handed) - so it is a little swollen and throbbing

Because Daddy said I was an extra good girl at the doctors office -- He brought me deal shopping at Big Lots! I am a bargin discount store whore...give me a place like Big Lots or Dollar Tree over Neiman Marcus and I am in heaven (mostly because I can't afford most things in Neiman Marcus unless they are having a really good sale). Master bought me quite a bit there. He even picked up some canvas' there. I am not sure the quality, but they will get used! He bought me an 22 x 48 and 2 - 11 x 14. And then he bought me tons of stickers, some stationary, gluesticks, and erasers (that I am going to carve to make my own rubber stamps). And also something from the hardware section I am going to use in art. Thank you Daddy!

More to come later

Quick Life Update

Just a quickie to say we are home...but Master is leaving again. So, I hope to have some time to do a longer blog tomorrow night. But I do have lots on my list to do while He is out of town.

Here are just a few random notes....

Our weekend kind of got messed up because of the rain but it still was a good weekend with some positives.

Master bought the new Coldplay CD....I really like it already...and not even all the way through it the first time yet

Master took me to the Dollar Tree while we were out of town. Master bought me quite a few fun art things! Thank you Master!

Needing some girl time....talked to nuala today on the phone, hopefully going to chat with another friend tomorrow and also going to call Moni this week too! Plus I have done some emails to several friends too.

I can't stand drama but found out some drama tonight. I can't understand why people are so screwed up that they hang on to hatred...and that is the only word for it...hatred. Don't they understand what that does to them....their bodies, mental health, emotional health. Maybe they like the drama...I think sometimes we get so used to it we don't know any other way...I used to be like that. But I just feel sorry for those that don't wake up

I am going to do some art this week...so doing a happy dance!

I have been getting lots of wonderful, beautiful, artful maillove!

I am drinking diet coke out of my princess cup - it has Belle, Cinderella, and Aurora on it

I am going to miss Master while He is out of town

We both took lots of pictures this weekend. Master has me using His old camera so maybe now I am catching the camera bug as I had a lot of fun taking pictures with Him this weekend

Very thankful I live in Colorado! It is so beautiful

I am reminded many times over....each day that I am very lucky to have such a wonderful Master....Thank you for claiming me Master...I love you

New Template

Just a quickie....a longer entry later today...or tomorrow.

I did a Christmas template! It is a little off in Mozilla/Firefox, but I am sick of messing with it! So it will have to do...it is only up for a month.

Master's birthday is Monday so my week has been preparing for that and the holidays.

Thankful for the mail I got from 2 friends on LiveJournal and from my cousin and Grandmother.