Connection

* I got my hair cut - almost 11 inches off. I haven't had it this short probably since I was in high school. I wanted something different and decided it was hair and if I didn't like it - it would grow back out. And well I don't really like it. I think I will like it a bit better when it just grows out a bit more. But right now it is too short. All this was with Master's approval. He likes it but knows it wasn't what I was going for when I went to get it cut.

* The hair stylist was asking me how I wanted my bangs. And I said to the side and longer. I told her I usually did shorter straight across but since I am going to part on the side I wanted longer to the side. And she said well since you are so young you can pull that off. And I kind of laughed. I said, "I am 43 - is that young?" Because she had to have been in her late 30's so calling me young made it seem like she thought I was I was younger then her. And it turns out she did. She was stunned. She kept repeating that there was no way she would have guessed I was 43. She thought I was really young. She never said how young but I am guessing younger then her. So that was a nice compliment. But I thought the whole bangs comment was weird that having bangs on the side was only for young women. When did that happen?

* I don't have pictures of my hair yet - because I don't like it.

* I am happy to report though Master can grab my hair and get a good grip into it. Because the other day he came home from an appointment and came in the door grabbed my hair and bent me down...just kind of wielding me which way he wanted and then finally kissed me. Kissed me long and deep and hard - all while his hand was still pulling my hair. Made my knees weak.

* Master's girl aria came to the house for the first time on Sunday. This will be a more regular thing now which is a good thing. But it stressed me to the max. I am obsessive about the house and guests. And this is her first visit - so she is a guest even though she is becoming family. I know that probably doesn't make sense but I am neurotic.

* Right now the business - has been taking my time full-time. And so I just don't have time to keep the house up. I was cleaning the bathroom the other day and dusting the tops of these lights we have at the very top of the ceiling that need a step stool to clean - and they hadn't been cleaned in I don't know how long and it bothered me A LOT. I thought about when Master didn't have his own business and worked outside the home - and I was basically a domestic slave full-time - the house was really clean. And now it gets to be too much. I don't know how other slaves do the full time job and all the domestic stuff. And it isn't just time - I mean I know I can manage my time better but it is also energy. By the time I have done all the work for the business I am so mentally exhausted that I feel physically exhausted as well.

* I mentioned in a post a while back a couple that might move to the area and then decided against it - well the are moving to a nearby town. So we are very excited to have them close. They are in town before moving into their new home and so we got together with them for breakfast yesterday morning. It was so nice to catch up with them. And so great that they will be closer to us now.

* We went to a local munch. It was our first and I know it will get better once we get to know people. I also know I was really spoiled by my Ohio friends - they made it easy to make friends being so warm and welcoming. I miss them so much.

* Just had a movie night with Master and aria - watched the first Harry Potter movie. Gearing up for the final movie. During the movie Master reached over and just grabbed one of my breasts like he has a vice grip instead of a hand. Damn it hurt. Just sitting here typing it - makes my breast throb from pain again.

Master and aria are having some quality time now. Master and I are spending tomorrow together. I got my period last night and right away I thought that might ruin our plans and it was like he was reading my mind because he said to me that is not going to ruin our plans. Unfortunately I did hurt my knee today so I hope that doesn't ruin anything. Did get a chance to play with a new toy recently and will have a review up on it in a few days. Sunday aria will be back over to spend the day with Master.

Well I am going to take some time to just do some emails and work on my review. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Words...Part 3

Some more words....there will be a few more posts of these too...I like them as they give me something to write about when my brain isn't working because of a long migraine cycle....

domestic - I think that if you would have asked me I would enjoy being domestic 20 years ago I would have said no way. Then 10 years ago I would have said umm maybe with the thought that I might have been crazy. When I became Master's 6 years ago, we discussed right away me being a stay-at-home slave and serving him domestically. And it did make me nervous. When I was in the poly household in Cleveland - I started out very good in domestic service. But then taking care of 6 people ended up stressing me and burning me out. Especially people who would spill kool-aid on the floor and not think about cleaning it up but leaving it for me hours or days later when I found it. So I gave up. And so that made me nervous when going to try it for Master but from the start - seeing how it helped him and pleased him made me feel good. Now at times it is just cleaning the toilet. I still know it helps that I do those things but I don't get that overjoyed feeling I had at the beginning very often. Now it is just cleaning the toilet. :) Not that is a bad thing. I think that those everyday things do add something to my life not matter the feeling in the moment. Right now despite all the talk I do on domestic things - it still is a struggle for me to balance with Master working at home. But I keep trying. And I guess that matters. Also right now with I think of the word domestic...I think of my Domestic Servitude blog. I am really enjoying the contributions of my co-bloggers. And I am enjoying shaping it - hopefully into something useful.

thoughtful - Well I take this as two things....thoughtful as in caring towards people and thoughtful as giving things great thought such as when I think about my M/s beliefs, spiritual beliefs and most everything in my life I try to give great thought to. The first thoughtful...I know that because I hold many people at arms length - I am sure don't come across as a thoughtful person at time. But I try hard to be thoughtful other people and what is going on with them. I am empathetic as well as sympathetic. And try to be there giving support and understanding to those that need.

hoods - Before I became Master's the thought of being in a hood didn't appeal to me. It scared me frankly. I didn't think I would like them.....but...Master of course changed that. He really worked me slowly into them to make them something I now crave and want to go further in. I am really happy he made it such a positive experience for me because now I can't imagine not playing with hoods. He likes them for different reasons then I do. He likes them because they are more objectifying. I like them because everything goes quiet. I slip into a floaty state almost instantly with them. Pictures of me in various hoods here.

pigtails - I associate pigtails with my little girl side. They make me feel like playing with dolls, coloring, watching Disney movies and snuggling with Daddy. Since getting my hair cut the last time I haven't been able to get it into a pony tail or pigtails. But just recently I now can get in a little pony tail and pigtails are no problem! yay!

redhead - My hair is naturally brown. I started dying my hair back when I lived with Caveman and Angel. I mostly did kind of a dark burgundy purplish color. But I had always wanted to be a redhead. Even as a little girl - redheaded girls always turned my head for more reasons then just wanting their hair color :) Morgan was a redhead...stunning redhead where people stopped and starred at her. Anyway, I always wanted to be a redhead so when I moved to be with Master and he told me he liked redheads so when I went to dye my hair the next time I asked him if he wanted me to do red and he said yes. So pretty much from then I have been a redhead - with occasional odd color thrown in such as magenta.

"Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices"

Recently I read a comment on a blog that said if you tell your slave to get a new hairstyle and she doesn't like it - it will make a stressed and unhappy slave which then in turn will cause discourse in the relationship. And that basically a middle ground needs to be found to have a happy relationship. (I am paraphrasing.)

For me this relationship is about Master's wants. If Master, tells me I am getting my hair cut and I am not happy about it I might get upset but I am here as his property so I am to obey and accept. And if he were to change it to something I felt more comfortable with - well then I probably wouldn't be in this relationship very long because that would make me more unhappy and upset. As it would make me feel like his partner and peer instead of property and slave.

The link I have above is when Master ordered me to get my hair cut with bangs and have it cut shorter then it had been. I was NOT happy about it. I actually was very stressed and anxious about it. I had many nights of crying myself to sleep over a haircut. But of course looking back and even during that time - if Master would have backed down - it would have made me feel more upset.

But it made me think about how upset I was about it at that time. I am actually surprised how little I said about it here on the blog because it really freaked me out. As I said above I cried many nights over it. I didn't want to do it but in my mind there was no other choice as I am Master's property. It was a big change but at this moment I sit here with my hair barely past my chin. And it wasn't hard at all to get it cut. No stress, no thought, no crying, no anxiety - nothing. It was just hair. That was how I felt.

If you have read here for a while, you know Master and I both have head shaving fantasies. For me - the thought of it being in fantasy land had been perfectly nice. I had no problem with it staying there. But I realized though the other day that I could accept it. During a conversation with Master I told him yes of course I would be freaked and upset but I know I wouldn't be as freaked or upset as I would have even just 3 years ago. And when I think about it now it feels...almost peaceful. As strange as that sounds. I know it would take getting used to but I know that eventually it would come to be like many things in my life....that I have freaked out about - it just is how it is and nothing I can do about it. Accept it and the living with it doesn't seem as big of deal.

8 inches

Okay get your mind out of the gutter!

I got my haircut today. My hair was just a little longer then where I hook my bra and I got it cut off to chin length - 8 inches.

But the interesting thing was that my hairdresser turned to Master and asked him if it was okay that I was cutting off so much of my hair. When he said yes, she then began working on me. She has no idea of our relationship I am sure, but it was just interesting how she asked him.

I am here...

Just thought I would do a little update since I have been quiet lately....

Master and I have had colds. So been trying to nurse us back to health. Because I am sick I am extremely tired so not much energy for much besides work and stuff around the house.

We have a family member has been having serious health problems and rough time so we have been doing lots of phone calls, waiting and figuring out what is going on there. And will probably be spending a lot of time in Denver in December.

I dyed my hair - it was suppose to be purple but didn't come out that way. I mean if you pull a few strands out - they look purple but all together they look more dark...maybe more a red plum. But I will try it again - I am sure.

Master and I hope to get away over night next week to the same place we went November 2003. I am really looking forward to it. Not only is it incredibly beautiful - we had just a lot of fun last time and I know we will this time too.

November 2002 Master wrote me for the first time. So I have been kind of being nostalgic and remembering that recently. Very good memories.

Really not much else I can think of to write about - at least at this moment. I just don't have the energy. My cold making me extremely tired. I hope to get some energy to do a post of substance soon.

A Look Back....September

Again....I didn't get to do a Winter Count this year. But going to do my version of Winter Count by going back into my archives and finding entries that touch me, are favorites, important to me or that month, or that just have some meaning to me.

So here is September (my version) Winter Count...

Surreal - it is an entry about me having more "freedom" because I was driving more. Master had dislocated his knee the end of August so it kind of changed things around here a little bit and so this entry is about my feelings of driving and more freedom.

Gratitude Tuesdays - I started them this month and they are wonderful. I haven't been able to do them in a few weeks but I will get back to them! Thank you CeeCi for starting them!

Locks of Love - I donated my hair and it had a lot of different meanings for me but it was important!

Locks of Love

Well I went to get my hair cut and I am terrible with measurements. I am always under so if I say I want 1 inch cut off I really wanted 3. I talked about probably getting 5 inches of hair off. I showed my hairstylist the length I wanted it to be and she said are you sure? Which I expected and I said yes. She said okay. So she brushes through all my hair and then get a ruler out and she tells me that is almost 8 1/2 inches. We discussed locks of love right away and said they needed 10 inches. And so I said, "do it...make it 10." Master wasn't with me but I knew he wouldn't mind because the length of my hair would fall into the range he likes. So now I have hair barely past my shoulders... where this morning it had been almost hip level.

I am happy I made the donation it is a great cause. Master's neice had cancer 2 years ago and had hair my length (this morning) that she lost. And so I thought of her when she got her wig. It is still kind of strange looking in the mirror but it does feel so much lighter and I know I will like it in a few days of getting used to it. It was great to sit down and not have to pull my hair out because usually I sit back in the car or a chair and my head gets pulled back because my hair is being tugged on by the back of the chair/seat. So that was great. I think I like it. I think I will like it more in a few days though. And as I said the thing that I like the most is that I could give to Locks of Love and help out someone like Master's niece.

Domestic....Plus a Life Update

Baking makes me happy. Cooking mostly in general makes me happy. There are times cooking doesn't make me happy though. But baking almost always makes me happy. I just got done baking some cookies for some friends. They will be mailed off tomorrow for them.

I was just thinking last night I should bake something for Master and his co-workers...they are really feeling burnt out lately and so I want to do something nice for them. I am going to either make 3 type of muffins (raspberry cream cheese, apple/oatmeal, and blueberry) or cinnamon brownies...whatever Master would prefer of course.

This weekend was pretty laid back for the most part. I did have a little melt down on Saturday as I just haven't been sleeping lately and so Saturday that caught up to me and I just was so tired that nothing made sense. So Master tucked me into bed and I got some much needed sleep. Sunday we were up really early to do grocery shopping - hit the stores before the crowds after church. After we came home, we made breakfast together and had mimosas with it. Yummy! Later in the Master was going to lay down for a nap so I said I would join him and he tried a new hood on he bought for me and unfortunately the cough still lingers and this hood is really tight around the neck so I started coughing.

Last night I woke up feeling like I was having a heart attack (it was a panic attack). It hurt my heart, ribs and everything to just take a breath. I was shaking and mind was racing. I had woke up from a nightmare. It took me so long to calm down though that my body being that tensed up last night....has left it aching today. I have only had it that bad once before.

When we were out shopping this weekend, I picked up some hairdye. It is red which is pretty much one of the standard colors I use. But Master and I have discussing black. I am not sure how I would look with black hair. So he said something about maybe you should do that and he picked up one and I said "that is a permanent dye." We talked about trying a temp one first. And he said, "yeah." I said, "what if it turns my hair weird colors." He just smiled and said, "no problem I have a solution for that too." It took me several moments to get what he meant! He is an evil man!(yeah...i know i like that he is this way.) His solution....shave my head. He knows what just mentioning it does to me...there in the middle of Wal-mart and melting into a puddle of goo. But after discussing it we realized now isn't the time as we are visiting his parents in 2 weeks and me and black hair (or *cough* a shaved head) is probably not something they can handle. When it has been odd colors they always just say "you dyed your hair again." When it is a normal color they say "oh we like you hair." My parents do the same thing.

Not much else to report.

Life Update

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Life Update

Well not sure what I am wanting to write....I have been having a case of writers block of sorts.

Master and I have been passing back and forth a version of the flu but with the Airborne we are taking I don't feel it ever gets to its full force (thank goodness) but I just wish we would stop passing the little bit of it we do get back and forth! It has been going on for about a month.

Monday - Master was sick so home for the day. I did get lots accomplished actually though. Usually when Master is home I just want to be near Him that I let duties slide. But lately I have been getting better at seeing that is a disservice to Master so now I try harder to some things even if not keeping to my exact schedule. Flexibility is an important aspect in being a slave.

Tuesday - Master and I had to go out of town to go pick His car back up. We had dropped it off the Friday before. I thought it was kind of humorous as the little town (practically only town between home and the destination) we stop for lunch in looked at me the way "normal" people in the Adam's Family series always looked at Wednesday Adams when she walked into a room. I was dressed kind of umm goth and with my dyed hair -- well lets say I stuck out a little bit! The whole restaurant watched us as we walked in and then when we stood at the register I took a peek and again everyone was just starring. It made me more then a little uncomfortable to be in the spotlight.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday - were kind of normal for me....just cleaning and such. I did get to chat with a friend online and catch up on a few emails.

Today - Master and I went out of town. It was a nice little day trip. When we came home, we were both tired but Master said He was not able to get His brain to slow down, so I offered a solution....a blow job. It worked! We both drifted off to sleep after cuddled up. Master woke me by playing with me. Oh today when we went out of town - Master was taking a picture and called me over because it was next to a gallery. He had a peek inside and saw that it would something His girl would want to see. And it truly was something to see....beautiful inspiring work. We got a brochure from the place so maybe I will see if they have a website and post it later.

New Hair Color

3 pictures of my new hair color...pictures of me

These were taken by myself so please be aware of how crappy they were shot. Also my hair looks darker in them and I finally was able to get *a* brighter one.

Okay to go on about it a little...

I will NOT ever do this product again (manic panic) - I will not do it how people advise as duh my skin is way to different to do it like recommended - I have chemical burns.

As I said when I did it...love the color but I will not use this product again and mmaybe find a more skin friendly product (if that is possible).

Life Update

Weekend - went by fast as Master had to work on Saturday. So Sunday was a day of relaxing for Him. We started the day out with calls to family followed by a late brunch. Late in the afternoon we went on drive and then watched the 2nd part of An Evening with Kevin Smith (watched the first part last week). It was Kevin Smith doing Q&A's at colleges. We really enjoyed watching it though because he was honest and funny. It made him so real to me. Plus I have a thing for Kevin Smith...I think he is hot!

Monday - Did cleaning up from weekend and then got a call from someone I have only known online. I have not gotten her permission to say who so that is why I am not saying. We did not get to talk long and I hope we chat another day. I am really bad on first phone conversations. I am very shy when meeting new people so I hope I was not too quiet with her. Oh I did some website work also as within Reality won a few awards. So that is an honor that I wanted displayed so did that and added more recipes to it also.

Tuesday - Well I spent almost the whole day in hair dye. My hair is now magenta. I hate the product love the color. Hate the product as it dyed my skin horribly plus irritated my face and ears - even after I did all the helpful hints of coating all skin with vaseline. It is terribly messy but as I said I love the color - just not sure it is worth the pain in my ass of doing it. Master had a long day and then took me out to eat and ran to grocery store to pick up a few things -- a sale they were having on ground turkey was ending tonight. We stocked up!

Tomorrow - I hope to get caught up on the cleaning I got behind on today and then maybe if I have time work on some art as I have not had much time or well energy to do so lately.

Tired....Life Update

Just a quickie...as it is late...

I have been busy preparing for Thanksgiving this week so not even online more than 20 minutes this week.

Monday was cleaning, then after work Master and I went to get haircuts (3 more inches off for me so now just at the shoulders), go get beer and also got some more wine (because we bought a couple bottles this past weekend at our favorite local winery). I pointed out a beer made in the town Master's went to school so He ended up getting that too. It was a lager. The wine is a mixture of my 2 favorites so it will be interesting to see how that tastes.

During our shopping trip for groceries Master also allowed me to get a frame for the Amy Brown print He gave me for my birthday and a new kitchen rug. The frame matches with the print so good. The print is called Firedance and has deep reds, oranges, sienna, burnt orange, and mustard yellow. There is border around the dancing fairy of mustard yellow mixed with orange. The frame almost looks like tiger eye. It is really swirling shades of brown from golden to deep chocolate brown. So they look very good together. The rug has a burgundy border and then really pretty fruit on it....all in the jewel tones.

Tuesday was more cleaning, laundry and baking. More stuff to charity. And Moni called me so I got a chance to talk to her. I had been thinking about her for about a week and meant to ask permission to call her. I miss her!

Today I baked some more and prepared stew for dinner tonight. We hung up some framed pictures of Master's photographs...they look fabulous! And then in the mid-afternoon Master's parents arrived. We had a nice evening. They helped me prepare appetizers for tomorrow. And then we had dinner,drank and played games. It was a nice evening.

They just left about 30 minutes ago. We are having cinnamon rolls and mimosas for breakfast. A relish tray, crab ragoon and potstickers during the day while we wait for Turkey dinner.

I am extremely tired so calling it a night.

I hope everyone has a very nice Thanksgiving! I hope you are able to spend it your loved ones.

Happy Birthday Honey!

I hope that you have a great birthday!


On to other news...

Well I am sitting here with much shorter hair. When I moved here my hair was down to the top of my bottom – all one length. Then in December of 2003 I had a lot of damage to my hair – the dry weather here is not nice to my hair. Anyway, Master thought it would be good if I got it cut a little shorter so then it was just hitting my mid-back.

Now…

Well it is maybe an inch to 2 inches below my shoulders. And I now have bangs.

I am not sure if I like it. It was/is a hard change for me. But it was what Master wanted. And so my hair got chopped off for Him. He really likes it so that is good.

One good thing I thought of last night in regards to it…is that I can put it in pigtails. I realized this when Daddy was tucking me into bed. When He tucks me in bed, the little girl in me comes out so easily. Anyway, I realized that my hair now will probably look very cute in pigtails. My hair was so long that I had those long pigtails and it just did not look good on me. So one evening we might be having a Daddy/little girl night. I will wear pigtails and other little girl things. We will watch Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory and I can color pictures for Daddy.

Well this is certainly been...

an interesting weekend........

Thursday - I went to a surprise Birthday Party for Michael. It was a nice party and I hope he had a very Happy Birthday!

Friday - Was the 31st so I just tried to reflect and be....I worked and did some stuff around here.

Saturday - I went and got my hair trimmed - ugghhh - Anyone who knows me knows my hair goes - well did - almost hit the top of my ass. And now it hits my bra-line. I asked the stylist to trim it off so that it was healthy and she trimmed 5 inches off. So I had a minor crying attack when I found that out. I was a little upset. It is so funny because the stylist just got done telling me how people with long hair are so cautious, critical and a little freaky about getting their hair cut or touched by others. And I laughed and nodded knowing that I am that way. It has taken me a long time to get my hair this long so I am a little touchy with it. So finding out she cut 5 inches off after she said that just peeved me even more. After I met Di and her daughter to do something. And then went home to get ready for a bdsm group meeting. The person that was coming in to do the talk I had wanted to hear because I had been his demo person when he came in town to do a demo. And I was thoroughly impressed by him. Not what he did but what he said. He is VERY concerned about the submissive - if she is enjoying it - if she is comfortable. And I just feel their are not that many Dominants out there that think about well if her high heels are killing her feet she is not going to get into it and I want her to so lets have her take those off. Or if her head is angled like that she is going to get sore neck and not enjoy this and maybe have to end play sooner so lets position her differently. I really like that he takes those things in to account and he is big on mutual respect also.

The night had some bumps but nothing I want to write about here. There were lots of people at the event and new faces as well as faces that usually only go to the other group so it was a good turn out and interesting. I am glad I went.

After we got home, I talked to Sir Nick on the phone. It was one of those phone conversations that left me smiling and feeling so warm and good inside that I almost signed online right then to write. I just wanted to share my warmth! :) But I decided to be selfish and keep Him all to myself last night:)

He is really amazing and after the things that happened tonight (Sunday night) I am really really lucky to have him in my life.

I will write about Sunday night in the morning......It is pretty amazing....not sure it is in a good way - amazing though.

Good Night...

peace,
danae

A long week....but good week!

I have so much to write about that I am not sure even where to begin.

Last week I talked to Honey on the phone and I got very insecure about her and my relationship. I love her – I am in love with her and I can say that about very few people. I love MANY but I am not in love with many at all.

I have had many daydreams of her - her and I doing normal every day things together. Her and I and her son having dinner together, watching TV, going for a walk and so on. I have not seen her in over a year and it is very hard to know that she is so far away. So I am very happy to be going to see her.

Anyway I wrote her a letter and I got a call this morning at 4am. LOL well she called at 3:30 but I was not home – and that surprised her. So Daddy called me as I was just getting off the exit to our street. Honey called back then and we talked about my letter and about things going on in her life. I know she is having a HARD time right now. And I feel very helpless right now how to help her get through this so I am glad I am going to be there because I just need to be there to help her.

Monday – I dyed my hair – cinnaberry.

Tuesday - I had a toy used on me that was really cool!!! I have bruises from it still. They are fading though. Thank you to the Dominant that used it on me and thank you to the Dominant that allowed it to be used on me. I really like that toy and really need to save some pennies up for it since it is a very expensive toy.

Wednesday – Daddy was nice enough to hire me cleaners. I have been so busy with the business that I have not had time to do deep cleaning and things were starting to stack up. So I had 2 young cute girls helping me clean my house on Wednesday morning. Then in the afternoon I went to the Doctor and it was not a good experience. I always hate gyn exams but because of my past I just hate them even more. Anyway, she was not helpful at all and she felt my blood pressure was too high (which it never is) and could not understand why it would be up and why I hate going. Wow does any woman out there really like them??? DUH! So I really did not find out why I am having the pain. And so now I am going to have go to another option and here I felt I was going to the best option for me. The day pretty much was a bummer all around.

Thursday - I had to get everything up off the floors because I had a carpet cleaner coming. He was really cute and one of my friends was here when he got here and we had fun flirting with him. I then had someplace to be. I was not going to be able to pick up Daddy on time so Di picked him up and then we met up. Daddy and I then went to dinner and it was a REALLY nice dinner. M called though during it and he needed to talk so I had troubles saying I could not talk because I just wanted a quiet evening with Daddy but I also knew he had some heavy stuff going on. We then got home and a friend of ours came over. I then did some straightening up since I had everything pushed in different places because of the carpet cleaners.

Friday – I took Daddy to work and then came home and had so much work to do – business work and housework. I did business work first and then did housework. We had a party here on Friday night. It was nice kind of smaller then or usual parties.

It was a very hard night and very exciting and special night all at once.

The Dominant I have been playing with was here and he and I made it known it is him who I have been playing with and writing about. : ) Daddy and I started playing and then the Dom and Daddy played with me together and then Daddy left and played host and wax SJ and the Dom, Sir, played with me alone.

He can get in my head and read me very well. He knew something was wrong that I was not letting go and letting myself flow with things. He came up and whispered to me...asking me if I was okay and I said yes and then of course I was like okay this will not work if I do not tell him what is going on in my mind. And I was the hostess and my mind was going on that I had turned the wax on HIGH and if it sat there much longer it would be hot to play with. And I kept thinking on how it needed to be turned down and that is why I could not let go. So I told him what was going on and he went took care of easing my mind and then came up to me touched me and told me to let go…..

I heard it in his voice…I felt it pour through me……

And I could not resist and I let go……

It is so strange how it worked. I did not think I could get to subspace. I thought I could not allow myself to get there. Sir came up to me and he knew I was away but I did not realize it. He asked me questions and at this time I cannot be sure what he asked me but I know I answered very logically and clearly at that moment but when I came out and sat down is when I felt so floatly and out…somewhere very nice! lol He took very good care of me kept me covered up….held and hugged me lots. Stayed very close to me to make sure I was okay. He did great. And he is a great Dominant….more experience then some Dominants that I know who have been in the lifestyle for YEARS. There is a connection that I really like. He and I think a lot a like – do things like also. I like that we are in sync.

I am going to miss him while in Germany……..

Saturday – there was a bdsm meeting that lots of people from the party were going too and so I wanted to go, but Daddy did not want to go for lots of different reasons – many I agree with but I also just wanted to be with friends and have fun. So I went by myself. The first time I have ever went to a meeting without Daddy. It was very strange but also…hmm not sure what the word is for it. Before the meeting I stopped at Wal-Mart to get some gum and a diet coke and M called me just as I was getting the car. He was bored and think wanting me to get together with him but I told him I already had plans. He has been kind of funny lately – since telling him about Sir. After the meeting Sir and I got together with some people after the meeting and we had a nice time. We played again and that was nice. He is very aware of me. He knows what I can and cannot take. He remembers things to keep me safe - like last night he knew I would need to drive home and he did not push or take me to far out because he knew I had to be awake to drive home alone.

Well I need to end this blogger there is more I need to write about but I need to think about some things first.

I am so happy…it really feels good to feel happiness…

peace & serenity,
danae

ps: Sir, I hope you think I have spoke kindly of you......:)