Good Moon Rising

Yesterday Master had to go out town for business, just for the day.  So a nice day trip for us.  It’s a few hours of work with most of it driving there and back.  He had figured that on the way home we would be still on the road as it got dark.   The area we were driving through is very lightly populated area and there isn’t much traffic....SO....Master hooded and restrained me with cuffs and chain.  We brought a steel collar but it was having some difficulties, so had to leave that off.

After the sun was well over the horizon, he pulled off and got me all setup before we continued our travel home.  I was nervous as I could hear the cars driving past, but Master was making really good time affixing the bondage and getting me situated in the front seat.  At first the motion was a little weird, but I got used to it quickly.  The area we were in is quite hilly and curvy so we were worried about motion sickness but I did fine.  I could tell when it was hills and curves but I didn't feel sick.  I could even tell when Master was speeding up and slowing down not by the sound of the engine, but by how it felt sitting there and feeling the car move.

It was really an odd feeling not being able to look around.  It was really hard not be able to look at Master in the car.  We do lots of road trips and talk, so I always look at him. So this was us talking, but I couldn't look.  He would reach over and stroke my hood-covered head.  It was the PVC hood with the open mouth, Master’s favorite.  I would feel his hand through the hood and crave to look at him and reach out and touch him too.  I couldn't move though as I had limited mobility.

It was hot (as in sexy hot, not temperature hot). It was nerve racking too.  I kept thinking of people that might see me - and of course that was a turn on too.  A turn on because – well, it’s naughty being caught!

As we approached our town Master knew he might have to take my hood off as a car might pull up and if it was someone we know - that would be bad. Especially a work associate or just a concerned citizen who happened to look over and find someone hooded in the car. So he pulled the hood off not too far from our house. He had taken some back ways as long as he could and then when he couldn't avoid people pulling up next to us any longer, I had to have the hood off. The cuffs and chains were still on just not the hood.

As we were getting close to home, I also was having the growing need to pee. REALLY badly!  Now Master and I had discussed pissed play things just earlier that day so he was taunting me with it. We were playfully bantering back and forth about it.  He was hitting all the bumps in the road so that my bladder felt like it was ready to burst right on the spot....you know just making it as difficult as possible to HOLD IT!

I was READY (okay – beyond READY, more like an EMERGENCY HOLD) to get into the house when we pulled in the drive way. But we still had to unload the car of some equipment and files. I was still cuffed and staying that way. It was a bit of challenge to pick things up with a short chain between my wrists. But I was picking up things talking to Master about how I really needed to pee and that if we didn't get into the house soon I was going to piss right there on the driveway. Which I am sure turned him on. I know I said it pretty loud. I mean someone standing a few feet away might hear. But not anyone in the next house over.

We live in a neighborhood where we rarely talk to our neighbors. I mean I can count on fingers how many times I have probably talked to neighbors in the 8 years of being here that is how rare I talk to a neighbor.  Last night of course we had a neighbor who saw us pull in and came to ask us about the lady that lives next door. Now I didn't see him walk up. I just heard him speak right after I expressed how I was ready to piss right there in the driveway. He scared me so I jumped slightly and turned fully to him - cuffs and chain showing directly to him. I realized that and quickly turned to hide behind the open door but continued to answer his questions. Master hadn't heard him but noticed I had turned away and was talking so looked and saw him so came around and talked to him.

But of course all that could go through my head was oh my gawd that man just saw me in the cuffs and chain and THANK GAWD Master didn't keep me in the hood until we got home!  It embarrassed me but of course at the same time is funny that in all the time I have lived this is the time a neighbor chooses to come up and talk to us.  It’s possible that with it still being dark enough outside – that the neighbor didn’t see anything, but we pride ourselves not putting our kink out in the open like that so murphy’s law was definitely working against us.  It would figure that of all the times we have made the trip without incident, of all the times we have come home late from whenever without as much of nary a peep from our neighbors … that the night we decide to spice things up and get a little kink-on would be the time our neighbors decide to talk with us.

Later in bed, Master put the hood on me again and long gloves - so we could work on the arousal we built on our ride.  We had lots of fun and it ended with him cumming in my mouth and on the hood. I just felt like a very well used object.  Such a nice way to end a great day.

What about the good moon rising part?  There was a full moon out last night or at least that’s what Master said to me this morning.  Hard to see such a sight being hooded, but I wouldn’t have given it up to see the moon.  Good times, good thoughts, nice tinglies and good memories!  Good good good!

Aching

When I get home from being away, Master usually is pretty light on me. Because I usually have some problems with re-entry. And this time really isn't any different. Well it was but for different reasons. This time I didn't crash emotionally like I usually do. I just suffered altitude sickness. And so we hadn't really played yet....that is until this morning. And Oh my did we play! My limbs are feeling like limp noodles and aching nicely still this evening from the SM. Our morning included bondage, Master flogging my pussy, using the baton all over my body, filled with a vibrating dildo and the hitachi used on me at the same time, hood, chopstick nipple clamps and much more.

It was an interesting twist for Master to use the hood on me towards the end of our play. He put it on me and then told me to shush. And I laid very still and became his doll. He just stroked my pvc covered head. And made me just seem like an inanimate object - his doll to use to get off. It was an interesting head space.

I even have marks! Which is usually not the case. I have red marks and bruising on my left breast. That nipple also hurts - just rubbing against my t-shirt.

It is good to be home!

Words...Part 3

Some more words....there will be a few more posts of these too...I like them as they give me something to write about when my brain isn't working because of a long migraine cycle....

domestic - I think that if you would have asked me I would enjoy being domestic 20 years ago I would have said no way. Then 10 years ago I would have said umm maybe with the thought that I might have been crazy. When I became Master's 6 years ago, we discussed right away me being a stay-at-home slave and serving him domestically. And it did make me nervous. When I was in the poly household in Cleveland - I started out very good in domestic service. But then taking care of 6 people ended up stressing me and burning me out. Especially people who would spill kool-aid on the floor and not think about cleaning it up but leaving it for me hours or days later when I found it. So I gave up. And so that made me nervous when going to try it for Master but from the start - seeing how it helped him and pleased him made me feel good. Now at times it is just cleaning the toilet. I still know it helps that I do those things but I don't get that overjoyed feeling I had at the beginning very often. Now it is just cleaning the toilet. :) Not that is a bad thing. I think that those everyday things do add something to my life not matter the feeling in the moment. Right now despite all the talk I do on domestic things - it still is a struggle for me to balance with Master working at home. But I keep trying. And I guess that matters. Also right now with I think of the word domestic...I think of my Domestic Servitude blog. I am really enjoying the contributions of my co-bloggers. And I am enjoying shaping it - hopefully into something useful.

thoughtful - Well I take this as two things....thoughtful as in caring towards people and thoughtful as giving things great thought such as when I think about my M/s beliefs, spiritual beliefs and most everything in my life I try to give great thought to. The first thoughtful...I know that because I hold many people at arms length - I am sure don't come across as a thoughtful person at time. But I try hard to be thoughtful other people and what is going on with them. I am empathetic as well as sympathetic. And try to be there giving support and understanding to those that need.

hoods - Before I became Master's the thought of being in a hood didn't appeal to me. It scared me frankly. I didn't think I would like them.....but...Master of course changed that. He really worked me slowly into them to make them something I now crave and want to go further in. I am really happy he made it such a positive experience for me because now I can't imagine not playing with hoods. He likes them for different reasons then I do. He likes them because they are more objectifying. I like them because everything goes quiet. I slip into a floaty state almost instantly with them. Pictures of me in various hoods here.

pigtails - I associate pigtails with my little girl side. They make me feel like playing with dolls, coloring, watching Disney movies and snuggling with Daddy. Since getting my hair cut the last time I haven't been able to get it into a pony tail or pigtails. But just recently I now can get in a little pony tail and pigtails are no problem! yay!

redhead - My hair is naturally brown. I started dying my hair back when I lived with Caveman and Angel. I mostly did kind of a dark burgundy purplish color. But I had always wanted to be a redhead. Even as a little girl - redheaded girls always turned my head for more reasons then just wanting their hair color :) Morgan was a redhead...stunning redhead where people stopped and starred at her. Anyway, I always wanted to be a redhead so when I moved to be with Master and he told me he liked redheads so when I went to dye my hair the next time I asked him if he wanted me to do red and he said yes. So pretty much from then I have been a redhead - with occasional odd color thrown in such as magenta.

March Questions: Sex

How do you define: bad sex? good sex? kinky sex? boring sex?

Bad sex well my first thought was sex when I am not in the mood but then of course that quickly fell through because I can think of many times Master has taken me and used me that I might not have fully liked it during but after and now I think of it and it turned me on that he just used me without regard to how I was feeling or what I wanted. So that doesn't count as bad sex to me. There are two times that just keep coming to mind from when I was an escort. And the first was with a client that sucked my toes for foreplay and I can't stand my feet even touched. The second was with a client that dirty and just smelled.

Good sex is kinky sex. So those two pretty much go hand and hand for me. Yesterday Master and I were talking about a specific time we played. There was lots of slapping, punching and other implements of torture. I was starting to zone out from the pain and he pulled me roughly from the bed where I was almost falling and scrambling to my feet. But he shoved me down to my knees and grabbed the latex hood and pulled it on me very roughly (latex not always easy to get on.) He stuffed me in the cage and then he laid on the bed and masturbated. It was one of my "scenes" with Master that is crystal clear in my memory. I didn't orgasm in that scenario - Master touched me - punching and slapping my pussy and I was sopping wet and so turned on by watching him that it was sex to me as it was very sexual in nature.

Boring sex is if it is the same thing over and over again. Like with often my ex-husband he just touch me the same way, have the sex the same way and end the same way. So that is boring sex to me. I don't feel sex without kink is boring - it can be nice at times but I do prefer kink with sex.


*** photo from that "scene" I described.


Please feel free to ask me a question or many!

Dacron Spandex Hood

I forgot to follow up on this hood that I wrote about in my last post. This hood is made out of dacron spandex which almost feels like a scuba dive suit. It is that thick and tight. Actually so tight that creates lots of pressure against my face. At one point during our play the hood was creating so much pressure against my forehead that I was getting a headache. Master pulled up on it and repositioned it - even though it didn't feel out of position - it seemed to relieve some of the pressure.

Also I have with all of the open mouth hoods is pressure on my jaw that keeps my mouth open which of course is kind of the purpose. But during play that lasts longer then oral sex, my jaw ends up hurting from not being able to close it easily. It isn't a pleasant feeling when you are trying to just get into play. My focus seems to go those pains instead of just feeling the pain Master is giving me.

I don't know if it is just me - how the hoods fit me that create that or if that is how they always are for everyone. But I know that I wish they would be a little more comfortable as Master loves all our open mouth hoods - they are his favorites. And my favorite leather hood has an open mouth too but it isn't as bad as the pvc and dacron spandex hood. Still has some pressure on the jaw but not as much as the other two.

Anyone else have these problems with pressure over all and on the jaw?

Kinky Fun Away

Master and I had to go out of town for work last week but we had the wonderful opportunity to stay in a condo in the mountains. It was beautiful condo - just perfect in every way. We had a night of kinky fun. Master was sick the rest of the trip - so sick I was wanting to bring him to the ER. He is doing much better now. We are both glad we got in at least one night of fun because the bed was perfect for bondage fun. My first comment when I saw the bed was "damn, I didn't pack enough rope."

When we arrived at the condo we had to go out again to do a few errand but after we got back I unpacked the toys as we were pretty eager to play. We play here at home but playing someplace else - new - always makes it feel a little bit more exciting.























I laid out toys. When I am about to pack for a trip, I ask Master what he wants for toys and then he doesn't mind me throwing in extra stuff just in case. He always has a few specific things in mind but beyond that he just like to go with whatever is handy. I being a masochistic never pack things that are light or easy...no because that would be too obvious right? A couple things I packed were from the Kinky Christmas Stocking from FetLife: rope, vibrator, bullet and "the most comfortable blindfold in the world." I also packed 2 hoods one leather and then another that I don't like. I don't like it because I feel like a bank robber in it. But I thought maybe paired with the new blindfold though it would be good.

This is an older picture of me in the hood that makes me feel like a bank robber. It is made out of dacron spandex which almost feels like a scuba dive suit. It is that thick and tight. Actually so tight that creates lots of pressure against my face (which I will get to). Master did pair it with the blindfold and I did like the hood better that way of course.

Master has a set of cuffs and a posture color all the same style and colors from Fetish Temple for me. (They are the rolled edge cuffs in black and a dark purple and the modified posture collar with the ring - also in black and a dark purple.) They are pretty much a staple in our play. I put a silky nightie on as that is part of Master's fetishes. And then he put me in the cuffs and collar.

He played with me with the nightie on a bit but then pushed the nightie down and brought my arms up to tied them to the bed. I was hooded, blindfolded and restrained so I was pretty much a happy girl. He used a rubber flogger on me - especially on my breasts and pussy. It brought the masochist out in me fast. I know I was arching into the flogger as it hit. When I am feeling my masochistic side, I like the pain just for the pain. It hurts. It doesn't feel good. Because it hurts feeds my masochism. Sometimes it hurts and just hurts and finally it is almost that I don't feel it. But this time I felt it and wanted to feel it.

Slapping, punching, rough grabbing and squeezing, rubber flogger, hood, blindfold, restrains, clover clamps and many other fun things. Yes even though it hurt - it was fun for me. SM and sex - Master let his sadism out and I got to have my masochism fed - great bed to be restrained - just a wonderful evening. Both going to bed worn out and happy. So it was a very nice time away.


***top picture of the bed in the condo, middle picture - with purple circles - kinky christmas stocking from FetLife - the things with the circles are things I packed and brought with us and bottom picture of me in the hood as I state above

FuckHose

This a journal entry from January 07, 2004....

If you have read my journal long enough you know that I dress for my Master every night when He comes home from work. A few weeks ago Master mentioned something about He wanted to rip into a pair of pantyhose and fuck me through the hole in them. Anyway, He did not want to do it to a good pair (I have hose that I wear that are hard to find here on the Western Slope in Colorado) so one night He came home and I was wearing a pair of pantyhose and informed him that the hose I was wearing were hose that if He wanted to rip and fuck me in He could. Well that gave Him enough inspiration that He took me to the bedroom to play!

He put the leather hood on and laced it up very tight. Probably the tightest it had been before that night. He played with my breasts caressing them softly at first - almost giving me the impression he wasn't going to be sadistic - and then of course he began to be more harsh on them. He slapped and punched. He then turned me on my stomach and spanked me. A nice erotic spanking mixed in with some sadistic punching to my ass also. I was very very turned on and moaning. He ripped a hole in the pantyhose and then used my vibrator on me while spanking me. I had a very intense orgasm! Finally He pulled me to the edge of the bed and fucked me hard. I was screaming and moaning and writhing with pain and pleasure. mmmmmmmmm It was a good night!

The hose that I chose for Master to rip into are not pretty hose as they are a pair that have a big crotch area that is re-enforced. And thus they are very strong in that area so they did not run. So I washed them to see if they would survive and they did because last night....

I put them on while getting dressed and made up for Master. I waited for Master in a black shirt flowing shirt with ONE button done so it was flowing open to expose my breasts and the other thing I was wearing....THAT pair of pantyhose. Master loves pantyhose so he saw the silky nylon stretching around my belly and bottom and was very pleased when He came home. He told me that I looked delicious and I said..."oh one more thing you might like about this pair"...I turned around and bent over. And He smiled and said, "Looks like my girl is begging to be fucked."

Well I helped perk Master up...that is my job right? *grins* someone has to do it...such a hard job! :) *blushing*

So we had dinner and talked about the class we are doing at SMART Fest. I then started to clean the kitchen. While cleaning, the phone rang. It was girlie. I had called on Tuesday, but she was not home and instead I talked to Grumbler Sir for a little bit. Anyway, girlie called me back last night and we talked. And I said, "do you want me to tease you?" She of course being the slut she is....*grins* said yes and I told her what I was wearing. Master calls them my fuckhose so I told her I was wearing a pair of hose that Master refers to as fuckhose. I then told her about the scene we had that created them. She was squirming. She can't say swear words. So she told me I would have to tell Grumbler Sir sooooo I told him and Master watched me and chuckled as I blushed and squirmed because it was far more embarrassing telling Grumbler Sir that then it was girlie.

After the phone call, Master and I chatted some more and watched some tv before heading to the bedroom where He again proceeded to put the leather hood on me, but He laced it up so tight that when we took it off I had a seam line on my nose and chin lol He had me on my back and He was very cruel to my tits. He really was squeezing, twisting, pounding and slapping them hard. It felt like He was trying to rip them off! And the same with the nipples. He then got out one of His favorite toys - that Katrina gave me. It is a music baton. It is like a little cane and hurts....a sharp intense pain. It is one of those that feels like it pierces the skin and then spreads out and then kind of goes away - like a cane does. But how Master uses it - the pain does not stop as He does not let it disappear - so it just seems to increase!

So He used that on my tits. I was VERY wet and turned on before He got the vibrator out and used it on me. But for reasons He and I talked about - I was not able to have an orgasm. He was VERY turned on so He took me, used me, fucked me. :) It was hard and rough - just the way I like it. *blushing* After He used me, we snuggle and talked. When He took the hood off and saw the seam, He was happy.

While we were playing - when He was abusing my tits - I snuggled up against Him. It is such a paradox....He is the person I feel safe with yet He was hurting my tits...abusing them...torturing them so I snuggled against Him to feel safe. But yet He was the one causing me to suffer. So where is the logic in me snuggling up against the sadist causing me this pain? LOL

He did stop a little bit when I snuggled up against Him - though not for long - as it gave Him a whole another set of of emotions to want to use me. His hooded girl being so close - the leather rubbing up against His skin and Him knowing it was His animal - His nothing really turned Him on even more. I think that is about the time when He got the baton out. LOL

Hoods

Okay this is going to be a rare rare occasion of a post...photos...of me but with the subject matter I am sure you can see why.

padme is a lucky girl! She got a hood for her anniversary with her Master. So we were kind of discussing them and she asked me what kind of hoods Master has for me. It is a fetish of Master's that we keep expanding on and I am happy to go along with as they have become a favorite of mine as well.

Once upon a time I didn't think hoods would be something I would ever like. But as I said it is a fetish of Master's so it wasn't an option -- I was going to like them. And he did a GREAT job in training me to like them! But again it was something I never thought I would like. I actually had a good amount of fear attached to them. I was very panicked by the thought of having something covering my head and face. So he had some work to do to get me over that because he wanted me to enjoy them like he does.

So the first hood Master started me out in this black rubber latex open faced hood. I am allergic to latex but at that time I didn't know/get that. That hood is a bitch to get on. But it was a great starter hood to get me used to things being *over* my head but not covering my face. It created kind of a suction though with the ears so if you have ear problems be aware of that.

Master got me used to the hood by just laying on the bed not doing anything with me sexually or even that involved SM. Just lying on the bed wearing the hood...snuggling and talking. And then he would take to where he played with me sexually but nothing else was involved. And then maybe a little SM involved. Each time stepped up a little bit. And then we moved on to the next hood.

The next hood was this hood that was a simple black cotton hood with an open mouth. I haven't found one like it on the web. It really was great for taking the next step in hoods because it was a thin enough cotton I could see out of so it wasn't totally encased in blackness from the get go. I also could breath which was another fear of the hood even though I love breath play - go figure.

And again he trained me with this hood just like that last. And by the time he was done....I was dreaming and lusting after hoods. I ended up going to Master one night and begging him for it. And he smiled. He was so happy that he had turned me on to his fetish. But I still was scared of the next step in hoods but having my head covered with just the mouth hole made me think about the next step and get wet even with my fear still lurking around.

The next hood I can't find anything like it on the web either. Basically it was 2 pieces of leather sewn together leaving the back with laces and then the other seam going down the middle of my face. There are 2 little slits for nose holes. So basically total encasement of my face/head. It took me a while to get used to that so in the mean time Master did get to other hoods. (this is close but the one we have isn't as form fitting more bag like.) I panicked with this hood quite a bit but finally it became a favorite as well...the smell of leather helped me also because it was just so intoxicating.

One like this in black though was another hood that Master has for me. It is black spandex with a padded blindfold in it. I could breath through it very nicely even though it is total encasement of my head too.

The other he bought was this one that I still don't like. And when it is used...it needs blindfold. This one makes me feel like a bankrobber instead of hood slut. It is made out of dacron spandex which almost feels like a scuba dive suit. It is that thick and heavy.

One of my favorites even though I can see out of it...it is different then the above. I like the shape of the hood - the one we have is from CJ's Leather but they don't have a picture of it on the website. It is similar to this one but the one we have has thick solid leather over the seams and an open mouth. It is very form fitting. This picture just doesn't do the one we have justice. Ours is the perforated leather but seems more heavy duty then the one pictured.

The last hood we got was this hood basic gag hood. It fits really snug. Master loves it because it is shiny like latex yet it is not latex so doesn't bother my allergy. And of course it leaves the mouth available for other uses.

The open mouth hoods of course can be used to with a gag so that adds another another level of sensory deprivation to the hood. Master has a head harness for me that works good over many of the hoods we have. And then added in a blindfold over the ones that I can see out of it and then cutting off my sight too. It took time to get to that level again for me as I did get very panicked. But now I love the feelings hoods give me.

The hoods make me very fuzzy. Master puts them on me and I start to just get fuzzy. They block out everything and let everything slow down....turn off and the world melts away and the only thing that matters is whatever is going on in that moment...whatever Master is doing to me or having me do. I do feel fear and panic at times with them...but usually it still is a very fuzzy far away feeling...like I am far away. I know I am not explaining it right but I am sure it also is different for each person too.

Oh I also put our gasmask in a hood category. It is something I want Master to take a picture of me in sometime. It sends me actually into a fuzzy head space faster then the hoods do.

I do think about a more intensive hood and I am sure again it will be something that will scare me but eventually I will come to beg for....if we go there and I know we might do that someday as Master does like hoods...thank goodness! Some umm dream hoods: Full hood like the basic gag hood above but full hood, I really like this one but we would never be able to get it because of the latex, and again something like this in leather would be nice, this one is close to another leather one I had in mind but I can't find it at the moment so this will do.

Mood: pretty okay despite having fighting a migraine all day
Music: Sarah McLachlan ~ Afterglow
Topics: Master being WONDERFUL as usual, Denver Nuggets, F*ckhose, Ritual Shower

This evening Master and I were watching Angel and an advertisement came on for the release of Underworld on DVD. And Master said that He thought He should go get it for me. I told Him it was not necessary - to which He laughed - as He does often when I say things like that. He said I deserve it. *smiles* I have a wonderful Master. :) So He went to Wal-Mart and told me to sign online and vote for the NBA All-Stars.

We were watching the Denver Nuggets after Angel. So I just voted (needed some help from Master after He got home as I am not as into basketball as I used to be - so did not know who was who except for some Nuggets that we like). I voted for Carmello Anthony, Nene and also did a write in vote of Camby from the Nuggets too. One person that I always liked when I was into basketball was Reggie Miller. So on the Eastern Conference I voted for him.

This a journal entry....

If you have read my journal long enough you know that I dress for my Master every night when He comes home from work. A few weeks ago Master mentioned something about He wanted to rip into a pair of pantyhose and fuck me through the hole in them. He liked the thought of ripping them and also fucking me. Anyway, He did not want to do it to a good pair (I have hose that I wear that are hard to find here on the Western Slope in Colorado) so one night He came home and I was wearing a pair of pantyhose and said informed him that the hose I was wearing were hose that if He wanted to rip and fuck me in He could. Well that gave Him enough inspiration that He took me to the bedroom to play!

He put the leather hood on and laced it up very tight. Probably the tightest it had been before that night. He played with my breasts caressing them softly at first - almost giving me the impression he wasn't going to be sadistic - and then of course he began to be more harsh on them. He slapped and punched. He then turned me on my stomach and spanked me. A nice erotic spanking mixed in with some sadistic punching to my ass also. I was very very turned on and moaning. He ripped a hole in the pantyhose and then used my vibrator on me while spanking me. I had a very intense orgasm! Finally He pulled me to the edge of the bed and fucked me hard. I was screaming and moaning and writhing with pain and pleasure. mmmmmmmmm It was a good night!

/end journal entry

The hose that I chose for Master to rip into are not pretty hose as they are a pair that have a big crotch area that is re-enforced. And thus they are very strong in that area so they did not run. So I washed them to see if they would survive and they did because last night....

I put them on while getting dressed and made up for Master. I waited for Master in a black shirt flowing shirt with ONE button done so it was flowing open to expose my breasts and the other thing I was wearing....THAT pair of pantyhose. Master loves pantyhose so he saw the silky nylon stretching around my belly and bottom and was very pleased when He came home. He told me that I looked delicious and I said..."oh one more thing you might like about this pair"...I turned around and bent over. And He smiled and said, "Looks like my girl is begging to be fucked."

Well I helped perk Master up...that is my job right? *grins* someone has to do it...such a hard job! :) *blushing*

So we had dinner and talked about the class we are doing at SMART Fest. I then started to clean the kitchen. While cleaning, the phone rang. It was girlie. I had called on Tuesday, but she was not home and instead I talked to Grumbler Sir for a little bit. Anyway, girlie called me back last night and we talked. And I said, "do you want me to tease you?" She of course being the slut she is....*grins* said yes and I told her what I was wearing. Master calls them my fuckhose so I told her I was wearing a pair of hose that Master refers to as fuckhose. I then told her about the scene we had that created them. She was squirming. She can't say swear words. So she told me I would have to tell Grumbler Sir sooooo I told him and Master watched me and chuckled as I blushed and squirmed because it was far more embarrassing telling Grumbler Sir that then it was girlie.

After the phone call, Master and I chatted some more and watched some tv before heading to the bedroom where He again proceeded to put the leather hood on me, but He laced it up so tight that when we took it off I had a seam line on my nose and chin lol He had me on my back and He was very cruel to my tits. He really was squeezing, twisting, pounding and slapping them hard. It felt like He was trying to rip them off! And the same with the nipples. He then got out one of His favorite toys - that Katrina gave me. It is a music baton. It is like a little cane and hurts....a sharp intense pain. It is one of those that feels like it pierces the skin and then spreads out and then kind of goes away - like a cane does. But how Master uses it - the pain does not stop as He does not let it disappear - so it just seems to increase!

So He used that on my tits. I was VERY wet and turned on before He got the vibrator out and used it on me. But for reasons He and I talked about - I was not able to have an orgasm. He was VERY turned on so He took me, used me, fucked me. :) It was hard and rough - just the way I like it. *blushing* After He used me, we snuggle and talked. When He took the hood off and saw the seam, He was happy.

While we were playing - when He was abusing my tits - I snuggled up against Him. It is such a paradox....He is the person I feel safe with yet He was hurting my tits...abusing them...torturing them so I snuggled against Him to feel safe. But yet He was the one causing me to suffer. So where is the logic in me snuggling up against the sadist causing me this pain? LOL

He did stop a little bit when I snuggled up against Him - though not for long - as it gave Him a whole another set of of emotions to want to use me. His hooded girl being so close - the leather rubbing up against His skin and Him knowing it was His animal - His nothing really turned Him on even more. I think that is about the time when He got the baton out. LOL


hmm what else I think I have a few other things I want to write about...

This morning we did a ritual shower. We had not done one in a long while and so it was quite intense. It was wonderful though. I got to bath Master, play with His cock and feel all the soapy water drip on me after He pissed, came and spit on me. *blushing*

While looking for my past description of our ritual showers, I found this post and it made me wet thinking about it....the bruises and lip.

Well I can't find the description in my archives, but here is the one I used to have on my website...

We take a shower together. I sit in the bottom of the shower. Master starts the shower off with pissing. I am working to drink all of His piss during this time, but He also splashes some on me too. But the goal is to drink as most of it as I can drink. Master then goes to the usual part of the shower - that is basically taking His shower as normal. All His soapy suds and water from washing His body dripping on me as He washes up.

I also sometimes play with Master cock and He cums on me. He spits on me in the shower also. Always tilting my face up to Him as He spits on me so it drips down my face. I feel very used and dirty.

So that is the shower - the shower at first made me so fuzzy it was hard to focus after them. It puts me in my place - reminds me who I am - and gets me in the right place to start the day. They are very intense and still make me a little fuzzy, but as I said start my day out putting me in the right mindset to focus on doing good work for Master.

If anyone wants some good masturbational fodder...they should read some of the archvies...especially these...(I got side tracked looking at archives when looking for description of shower so decided to share *blushing*) Most of Febuary 2003. And much of the July archive especially after Thunder in the Mountains!

Master is watching X2 while I write this....tomorrow I hope the migraine stays away so I can get some things accomplished. I also hope I sleep well as the last 2 nights have been kind of restless.

Music: Mix CD – a couple of songs from Blade and Queen of the Damned, Linkin Park, Godsmack, Tool, NIN, Puddle of Mudd and some others I am forgetting
Mood: sick but very happy
Topics: sick, cookies, S&M with Him, Enema, Buffy the Vampire Slayer….and maybe a few other odd-n-ends

Well for starters I am sick…whatever He had – He has now given to me – even though He denies it * grin* He says it is all my fault. It is always the slaves fault right? *grin *

He is great…. I am sick, but He is still being Him and I am still being me. I am still hobbled and chained. I still dress every evening for Him. And He still expects the same things - - but let me stress He is not an ogre. This morning I got sick and He went to His pantry and got a sprite out – poured it in a glass with ice and brought it into His sick slave. He went and got me a cherry limeade from Sonic….something wench always does for me when I am at her place. He got me medicine. He is taking care of me. And it is so good to have a partner as well as a Master….

I feel so good about where I am at….

Okay enough mushy for now…

Today I was feeling a little energy spell sooooooooooo I decided I was going to make Him some chocolate chip cookies. LOL Okay I am not a bad cook…far from it actually….but omg these pitiful cookies. I forgot something – not sure how I forgot it but I did…what did I forget…a little thing called HIGHER altitude. And so my cookies taste good but look horrible. They can’t be all that bad as He had 6 of them since being home tonight *grin*

I think something is wrong with me…I like cooking and cleaning for Him. I like cleaning His toilet. I like cooking dinner every night. Am I nuts? Has He brainwashed me? :)

Kind of our routine after He comes home from work….

Every night I greet Him wearing lingerie – usually with stocking and garter belt or thigh highs, and then with heels and hobbled. My make up is done…my hair is done. I am very girly girl….which I like being a lot. I always have loved being a girl – as a little girl I loved wearing dresses and dressing up. I then serve Him dinner. Then we eat and talk. I don’t begin eating until He starts. Then after dinner, I clear the table and clean up the kitchen afterwards joining Him in the living room. We then talk, hang out, watching a movie, checking email and such.

Then we go to bed. We go to the bathroom and get ready for bed and then He chains me to His bed. I go to bed hobbled still and then one leg chained to the leg of the bed. Almost every night….saying almost because it has not been every night but ALMOST every night….we do some type of play. Always sexual in form but with S&M mixed in….it is very yummy.

Last night was particularly…yummy….

He and I were talking about the fact that I am having a lot more fantasies about hoods lately. He had me in headlock making me look up at Him – making me admit that I wanted to wear the hood more and that I like it. He is so evil for making me admit these things I don’t want to and He does that frequently lol *blushing *

So after some dialog back and forth He grabs me hard and gets me sitting up….grabs the hood and puts it on me. He told me as He is putting it on that I would be wearing it all night long. I started pleading with Him to not do that…as I have cold flu symptoms so the hood being on all night did not sound appealing at all. He was not listening to me. He was rough and hard getting the hood on and situated.

He then proceeded to abuse my tits and cunt. I can’t even explain what He does exactly. I have never had lots of genitorture. Never really thought I would care for it….but OMG *blushing * It is very yummy! He slaps, twists, grabs, pinches, pulls…just abuses my tits and cunt. And He gets me to beg Him to hurt me. He will be abusing my cunt and start to back off and I will beg…I will start with Please…and He will go….”Please…please stop?” And of course I am moaning out screaming and BEGGING Him to keep going…and He will just say what do you want…and I will have to say it. I will moan out “please hurt me” and then usually He steps it up….what He was doing before was like an appetizer to wet my appetite…to give me a taste and make me CRAVE more….

So that I am writhing and moaning and screaming please please hurt me…

And then He hurts me. Any abuse He was doing before just increases. I am hurting and sometimes coming from the pain. Other times just starting to float on the pain.

So last night I was reduced with the hood on to an animal and then was writhing, screaming, moaning, grunting from the pain He was inflicting and…then….

He says….that He is going to give me one more orgasm from the pain….and then strip me naked and put me in the cage…

He does just that….

He strips me roughly…and then grabs me by my collar and pushes me down to my knees and with my leg still chained, still hobbled and hooded…I crawl into a cage like an animal.

He then does something that totally makes me HOT….

He lies on the bed so I can see Him and He masturbated. OMG….I got up on my knees and pressed my face between the bars…trying to see better….see Him stroking His cock and I was moaning and I would have begged to touch and cum again but my cunt was on fire from the torture He gave it.

So I watched….dripping and drooling….as He came….

Afterwards He took pictures of His caged animal...peering from between the bars…

It was very hot scene!

He let me out and I crawled to His feet kissing them….letting Him know how I feel….feel and know I am His animal…His nothing…

It was very intense….

And I am a very lucky girl to have Him in my life.

We have many nights of torture but last night seemed different for both of us…more intense. And today we both feel so close to each other.

I forgot to mention in my last posting…I had my first enema last week. It was pretty much what I expected. Well, there was 2 thoughts I had one I thought what I had read I about some people who had them…I wanted it to feel like that…but it was more how I logically felt it would feel….if that makes sense. I guess I had fantasy based idea of what I wanted…and a reality and the reality is what it felt like….so not too much cramping. We have no had time to experiment with them further and now that I am sick He does not want my system messed with anymore. But I do look forward to further enema training.

Hmmmm what else to talk about….

Oh Buffy the Vampire Slayer….He has been letting me watch it here. And I think He is even starting to get into it. I really want the other seasons to watch with Him. Anyway, on Tuesday He worked late and called to let me know He was on His way. Well, I was already ready – dressed – and had some of dinner done so that it did not take as long to get the rest ready when He called. So, when He called I looked up at the time and realized right in that moment that we were missing Buffy.

I don’t watch TV while He is gone. I am not allowed on the computer without Him being home. And I am not allowed to make phone calls without permission either. Strict control…something I want and actually like a lot more then I thought I would….

Anyway, so when He came home I told Him about missing Buffy and He found another station where 30 more minutes of Buffy was left….and He got His own dinner and then when I had me He had me sit on the couch (I am not allowed on the couch – on occasion He allows me on the couch while we watch a movie to snuggle but for the most part I am on the floor). So…I sat on the couch and ate dinner and watched the rest of Buffy. I was very grateful….that He allowed me that.

I really like Buffy this season. I like the story line….I just am not happy with the thought that it is the last year Buffy. I know they are going to do a spin-off but it will not be the same even though I am sure I will watch it.

Okay I know there was more I wanted to write about…but I want to get this posted and spend time with Him…

I am really really getting upset that I only have a week more with Him….something I am sure I will write about this weekend….

Final words…for this entry…I am living the life I wanted with a wonderful man and great Dominant….who I love and adore.