BDSM Play Parties: Part 3 of 3 - New to Play Parties

This is a 3 part series. Part 1 is a general explanation of what a play party is and some of my personal experiences.  Part 2 is about hosting a play party. Know that every place is different and has their own rules. I am covering points based on my own experiences.

Never been to a play party then this post might help you get prepared....

First is the play party at a public space or private?

Some public spaces have members only parties so you would have to be a member before coming to their parties and sometimes they have nights that are open to the general public.  Either way they will most likely have a website and rules on their website about the parties they host. Often private home parties are invitation only and don't expect invitations right away - you need time to get to know the host/hostess well before they might extend an invitation.

Some things to just keep in mind...

* When invited to a play party, you won't be expected to play just because invited. You won't be expected to get naked or do anything that you aren't comfortable doing. It is perfectly fine to watch and learn.

* You will see nudity.  Usually the submissive gets naked or strips down to lingerie, panties/underwear and mostly d-types stay clothed - if anything is taken off - it is a shirt or striping down slightly as flogging or doing a scene can work up a sweat.

* Don't touch people. Don't touch toys without permission. No is no - no matter what. Just because someone is naked doesn't give anyone the right to touch that person without their consent. If you see someone who is nude being touched by people at the party, it is because they have relationships with those people that allow that type of touch. Don't assume because someone is single they are looking for a hook up and are okay with touch. Don't touch people without asking! Not even a hug.

* You might see types of play you are uncomfortable viewing. If it makes you uncomfortable, walk away. There is almost always areas for socializing as well as many other areas for play that might make you more comfortable. We are all unique and all have different ways to express our kinks.

* Don't interrupt scenes.  You might see something you liked - a technique or toy you like, but wait until after the people are done playing and moves to area for socializing to ask about it.  Don't interrupt scenes - even if it makes you uncomfortable...the type of play might an area that doesn't interest you or even frightens you. The screams might sound like something is wrong.  Don't interrupt. The couple has safety measures set and playing how they want to play. If you really think someone is in danger, dungeon type space often has Dungeon Monitors (DMs) walking around go to them and have them take a peek. If at a private party, go to the host and hostess.

* Watching, again is fine, but please be quiet if talking. Keep it to a whisper. No loud conversations or laughter around play areas.

* No jacking off.  If you came there to wank, then you are in the wrong place. You might get turned on watching a scene, but it is considered highly impolite to jack off while watching people play. As I stated in Part 2 - we allowed sex at times, but only in a certain area.  Many parties don't allow for vaginal or anal penetration, but might allow for oral or hands/fingers.  Why they allow for some sexual contact and not others - really just depends on the space or home.  Okay now all that said sometimes a party will be set up specifically to fulfill fantasies and maybe a sub has a fantasy of several men jacking off on her as her D-type beats her - then of course it is okay. But often that kind of party is set up with trusted close friends in a private setting.  So you most likely won't see that type of thing when you attend your first play party.

* Turn off your cell phone and no photos. 

* Single?  Don't expect to go and play. Can you find someone there you might want to play with? Absolutely, but be polite in asking, talk some and negotiate.

* If you think you might want to play, bring your own toys.

* Safewords - usually a dungeon type space will have universal safewords that they want everyone to use so that if DMs hear them and the Top isn't stopping the DM will step in and stop it.  If you read part 2 of this series you will see when we hosted we didn't, we felt everyone was adults and responsible for their own safety.  If you feel like you trust someone enough to play with them, then you should trust each other enough to use safewords or communicate in a way to get your emotional and physical conditions expressed.

* Dress before, during, and after play - I will talk about dresscode more below. Private parties usually want you to arrive in street clothes and then if you desire you can change inside the party if you want to wear something more fetish oriented.  After I play or if changing between different play areas, I like to have a coverup/robe as I am not comfortable walking around naked.  If you come dressed one way, think about how you want to be dressed after being beaten. You might be floaty or having sub drop so getting dressed back into fetish or even street clothes can be a pain. Pack some comfy easy clothes in your toy bag too.  I usually hate wearing my bra, thigh highs and heels home so I pack clothes to replace those if needed. 

* Take care of you -  Do what makes you comfortable. Don't feel pressured to play. Watching is fine.  Also make sure you eat and drink plenty of water as playing can burn off calories and make it so you are dehydrated.  If you have medical issues, make sure you have meds and friends that know so they can spot signs. Such as  I have friend who is diabetic sometimes after she is beaten it messed with her insulin levels because of the endorphin rush so always had meds with her and when she was invited to one of our parties - I made sure to have some orange juice around for her to drink after playing. 


Some questions to ask the host/hostess:

Is there a dress code or theme? Is nudity allowed? -  Sometime public dungeons or bars having a fetish night will have a dress code or a theme.  Often it does mean some type of leather or fetish attire for a dress code.  Themes can include: Pirates, Medical, Goth, and School type costumes. A bar having a fetish night usually won't allow nudity.  Sometimes a bar having a fetish night will have a fetish show or performers and so they might set a dress code or theme according to it. They might allow very close to nudity for dress such as thong panties and pasties for females.  Public Dungeons often allow nudity once inside.  Private parties want you to arrive in street clothes and then if you desire you can change inside the party if you want to wear something more fetish oriented.

Is there food and drink? Do you need to bring something?  - Often at Fetish nights at bars - there isn't food.  But often parties held in dungeons as well as private home parties will have a potluck or share a snack type party.  Sometimes they provide drinks other times they ask you bring your own. If it is bring your own, make sure you bring a bottle of water.  Playing either from either Top or bottom place give you a work out and make you sweat and need to replenish liquids.

What time do the doors close?  Once you leave can you come back in?  -  Often dungeons will allow entrance for only a set time and once you leave you can't come back in.  If you are a smoker they often have areas set up for smokers - like a back patio area that is walled off so outsiders can't see you. Sometimes Public Dungeons don't allow nudity until after the doors close and it then usually becomes a private party which then allows for nudity.  Private parties might have a door closed policy also because the host and hostess want to play too and having to wait to answer the door can infringe on their time. Also they might have play area set within an open door view and so want people inside before play starts and no neighbors can see.  They also have areas usually set up for smoker that sometimes mean getting covered up and back in street clothes or it is walled off from neighbors view.

 Is there areas designated for socializing and also aftercare? -  Often public dungeon spaces as well as private play parties have both. 

What type of play is allowed and what kind of equipment is available?  - Some public dungeon spaces have area for blood play, wax or water sports, but don't allow it at parties because of liability issues.  They also often don't allow gun or knife play, fire or scat play either. Sometimes they might allow blood play if they have a room that can be closed off and have it set up for safety - such as having a sharps container.  Dungeons often have a wide range of equipment, but private play parties might have much more limited play space.

What are the rules?. Saves a lot of time by asking for rules ahead of time to figure out if you will be comfortable. Rules will often address many of the questions you have floating around in your head.

Again always ask if you have any questions.  Play parties can be fun as they can feed exhibitionists or voyeurs. They also can be a bit overwhelming if you haven't had any type of play around people.  I know with Master and I, we need to be very comfortable around people to play in front of them.  So take your time, ask questions, use common sense and just have fun!

BDSM Play Parties: Part 2 of 3 - Hosting

When a former dominant and I decided to have a party we would send out invites for play parties via email and also attach a list of house rules and what we expected.  Once people rsvp'd we sent them a contact phone number, our address and a map.

Here is an example of our house rules....again every house or dungeon might have different rules this is just an example of ours. 

House Rules
* RSVP - we need a number for drinks and such.  If you are going to arrive late, please let us know. (Reason for them letting us know if they were getting there late is because at the beginning of each party we go over the rules again and some additional things that are too complicated to explain in writing such as cleaning certain furniture if using it to play. We wanted to make sure we had people that could explain those things to them when they arrived in case my dominant and I were playing at the time.)
* Arrive in street clothes - but feel to change when inside or strip down to naked. Just keep it vanilla when you are outside our home
* No touching other people without consent.  No touching others toys without asking.  We will have toys out that are available for use, but please clean and put them back after using.
* Be responsible for your play. We aren't going to police you so if you are playing with someone new, please make sure you negotiate and decide how you are going to stop a scene by either using good old fashioned communication or a safe word.
* Be aware of noise. No need to keep your screams muffled, but also no need to scream your head off and get the cops called on us.
* Be aware of others playing around. Keep conversation and socializing to the designated areas
* If wanting privacy before, during, or after play - close the door to the room.  But please keep in mind people might be waiting for the space so don't be a hog.
* Speaking of pigs, clean up after yourself.  We have anti-bacterial wipes in all the rooms, wipe down toys and equipment.  All other areas will be explained at party on cleaning procedures.
* Sex is allowed, but rules will be explained at party.  We have condoms, lube and some sex toys available for use.  Clean up will be explained at party. 
* We have a house first aid kit and will show you where it is when at the party
* Smoking only allowed on patio.
* No drugs or drinking alcohol allowed
* What happens at the play party stays at the play party. Please no sharing names and details of who and what was going on at the party. 
* Bring a snack to share. Paper plates, napkins, utensils, and drinks provided. (sometimes we would order pizza or cake if there was a birthday around the time of party and we would include that on this that they bring a snack, but pizza or cake would be provided)

So I just typed that up from memory....it has been more than 10 years since I hosted a party, but I think I got the major ones.  We had to put that drugs and alcohol on there as someone showed up drunk wanting to play and was doing inappropriate touching. He was just rude and loud to all our guests as well.  I know it is big in most community settings to not use drugs or drink while playing.  We really didn't have a problem with someone having a beer with dinner and coming to our party and playing. It was when they showed up drunk that it started to change the way we hosted.

What happens at the play party stays at the play party happened after attending our party some people would say something to someone who had not been invited and then that person would be butthurt and write my dominant or me upset.  I have a blog obviously I like to share so when I went to parties or whatnot I would say I went to a party, but not say who or what happened except for me.  I really had no problem someone saying on their blog they went to a party. They just needed to know what they were going to say who hosted the party and be okay with saying I am not allowed to say for privacy.

One that I would now add that there was no need for when I hosted parties is turn cell phones on vibrate/silent, no photos and no video recording.  I know it is in this day and age, we are photographed and video recorded all over the place in the vanilla world, but having our photos taken in the BDSM world still can damage careers and relationships with vanilla family and friends.

The Space....We lived in a large 3 bedroom - 2 bathroom apartment. Our kitchen was set up for drinks, then we had dining room with a table set with snacks.  People could help themselves to snacks throughout the evening.

We had a big square living area that had a dining room in one corner, a home office in another corner and then a living room area and reading area. In our home office area, we did have an area for play, but it was understood that they would be near the designated social area.  People liked that area if they wanted to just have some light play with laughter. The living area was social and the reading area I had a wax station set up.  I had crock pots with wax sitting on low table and then an area with plastic and layers of comforters covered with plastic again and then an old sheet over that.

We had 3 bedroom, usually all 3 were available, but occasionally there was only 2.  One room was our "dungeon" - it had a stool, a chair and a portable/collapsible saw horse in it. It also had a shelving unit that had toys in bins and hanging from it. The other 2 were set as bedrooms. One bedroom was my dominant's and had a king size bed that had all sorts of attachment points around it. At the end of the bed, I had a several layers of flat sheets folded over so that people could pull up and use to lay on and then strip off after they were done.  He also a dresser that had these loop drawer pulls that were good for bondage attachment and we usually put a a little bench I had in there too.  The third bedroom had a full size bed in it and a chair.   That bedroom we had set up for those that wanted to have sex mixed in their play.  I had a basket of condoms, dental dams, gloves (for fisting/fingering) and lube.  I also had sex toys that were toys that could be shared as they could be cleaned with bleach or sterilized. I asked that a condom be put on them though for added protection. I had those toys in a basket too. I had stack of towels and a stack of twin flat sheets. I picked up a bunch of twin flat sheets at Good Will - some even had smurfs and cartoon characters on them.

Someone using that room would take a sheet off the pile, put it down on the bed, add towels if they squirted, and then go about their business.  After they would throw sheets and towels into the laundry basket, throw condoms and wrappers into the waste basket, and if they used toys, I asked they wipe them off with a wipe and put in another basket I had next to the dirty laundry so that I could clean them properly after.  If anyone saw a toy in there they wanted to play with I had been known to clean them right then for them.

I stated in this post that, we had toys out that people could use.  We did, it was mostly just homemade things or dollar tree pervertables.  We did allow people to use some of our nicer toys, but we liked if they asked.  We never had this happen, but I know it happened at some other parties - toys being stolen.  So having your toys put away or not loaned out is quite common.

At our play parties, we usually got the ball rolling with some play because it seemed to help get things moving in that direction.

After people play, they would usually EAT! It made us all hungry. So we always had snacks, but sometimes adding in pizza, big sub sliced up, or hot wings. One time, I had nacho bar.  We always had a bowl of some type of chocolate and a variety of drinks. Drinks included water, soda (usually coke, diet coke and sprite), and coffee as often people weren't leaving until the wee hours and some had 45 min to hour drive home.

Hosting a play party can sound like a lot of work, but really having people contribute to it makes it easier on you. Have people bring snacks.  Ask those that have portable equipment to bring some. If you want more equipment, have a building party and get some people together to make some. Make it as easy as you can on yourself.  I really enjoyed hosting as well as attending play parties in Cleveland. Here in our smaller community we haven't had much experience with them and it takes Master and I significant amount of time to feel comfortable around others that we would even play at a party.  Sharing that bond we have with others can be hard at times - it is very intimate and can make you feel exposed.  I doubt Master and I will ever host a party - only because our own home just doesn't have the room.

If you are wanting to be invited to a local private party, then all I can say is be patient and get to know people like you would any other time making friends and sharing experiences. Part 3 - will address questions to ask before attending a play party or things that might happen at a play party to ease your mind before you go to one.

[Part 1 of 3]

BDSM Play Parties Part 1 of 3

I had someone ask me recently what it is like to go to a BDSM play party. When I lived in Cleveland, I went to quite a few play parties as well as hosted many too. So thought I would talk about them a bit. Of course this is just from my own experiences and I know everywhere is different and has different ideas and rules.

So let's start with what a play party actually is...it is a party where kinky people engage in kinky play. It can be a more organized event type party such as when I lived in Cleveland, a local group had their meeting and then a play party after at a local dungeon.  Dungeons often have lots of equipment such as spanking benches, St. Andrew's crosses, cages, tables for bondage and other devious torture.  They sometimes have areas designed for blood sports or water play, but I found that most of the play parties didn't allow those things.  The dungeon rented the space out for private sessions to do those things, but in a big group they didn't want to be liable for fluids spattering on someone.  Also usually no sex at public dungeon spaces even when rented by a private party such as the local BDSM group because that can come across as selling sex when you pay to get into the dungeon.

Some play parties are just local fetish nights at a bar or dance club.  They might have a dresscode and won't usually allow for nudity. They will have a limited area of play and often have performers as entertainment.  They don't often allow for many things that the dungeons don't - such as sex, blood play or water sports.   

Private play parties are held in homes.  I attended many that were held in private homes as well as hosted play parties in my home. My former dominant and I  didn't have equipment, but some private home play parties do have equipment and an actual space laid out as a dungeon. Such as one private home that I went to for a party had their whole basement set up as a dungeon. They had several play areas laid out  with equipment, toys hanging around on the walls, and then they had a bathroom for clean up after play or for water sports.

Many of the private home play parties I went too, maybe had one or two pieces of equipment if that, but had chairs, stools, beds, couches and other such normal everyday furniture available for use in whatever creative way you wished. Our play parties usually just utilized our furniture. We did have a friend that had a portable St. Andrew's cross - so sometimes he would bring that. 

Many of the private home play parties didn't involve sex either. Some did, but the majority of the ones I went to didn't have sex allowed. Mostly I think that was because you are going to be fucking, sucking or whatever on their everyday furniture and they don't want fluids on them.  It wasn't that we are were prudes and didn't enjoy sex with our BDSM - it was that "hey you are on my couch without pants and cum spurting out of your dick."  The play parties I hosted with my former dominant, did allow for sexual activity to happen at times, but usually just one room of our home. (I will describe that set up in part 2)

When we had parties, we only invited close friends and usually kept it to a certain number of people just so everyone could have time to play.  Some people ended up getting their feelings hurt when we didn't invite them. Some people take it very personally and I get how it can be personal.  Why someone and not someone else might be invited, but I will say the people hosting the party need to be the ones comfortable with inviting people into their homes. Being in their personal space with photos of their kids on the wall, neighbors walking their dogs past and so on can be outside of a comfort zone. It is a very personal intimate thing to be invited into a home.

Our parties often ended up being about numbers. We didn't want it too big and it was hard to pick and choose who could come. I had a group of very good friends in Cleveland so they were what I will call my tribe.  But when we invited the tribe to our parties - we right away had 10 people so it didn't leave a lot left on who else could invite even though there were many times I wanted others too.

I will say that there were a few people I didn't invite until after knowing them for several years.  I know it easy to not feel slighted, but just to try to remember it takes time to get to know someone and invite them into your personal space.  Especially when you are opening your home up for such intimate activities.

Part 2 will describe what happened when I hosted parties: house rules, areas of play, clean up, sex areas, and a few other little things.

Sick and Horny

You know what sucks is being totally sick with a cold and being incredibly horny and knowing I wouldn't last if I even tried.  Add in that I don't want to get Master sick, but damn I have been having wicked thoughts and my cunt has been dripping.

Sex Dreams of True Life

The other night on the phone with teacup, Master mentioned something about his ass...honestly I am not sure what the conversation was, but probably something very benign like his ass was dragging because he was tired.  We had this conversation right before bed....so I had a dream about something that happened one of the times teacup visited.

We put in bad porn. I mean it - it was bad - we didn't know it was going to be bad, as we hadn't ever watched it. So put in the porn and then Master was lying over the liberator. Teacup and I were touching and kissing him all over. Our attention was focused solely on him.  One thing I did was lick his ass. I had done it before, but it had been a long time since the last time.  It was a lot of fun and he enjoyed it.  So I dreamed about licking his ass and sucking his cock. Always the makings for good dreams!

Painted Girl

I mentioned that I am writing poetry. I am not sure if it is good and really that doesn't matter to me. It is more about really expressing myself in different way.  Poetry before always intimidated me and now it doesn't.  I even got Master hooked on writing poetry. It has been something really fun that we do together. He has such amazing sense of humor and it comes out with how he sees the world and what he writes. I love how he sees the world.

One poem I wrote is about being an escort...so thought I would share it here as I can't really share it with my family as I think it is pretty provocative for them.

Captain Jack Slips on a Condom

Condoms in adult sex movies is something that is always being considered as a law. Honestly I am not sure how I feel about it. I thought it was a law before this to tell you the truth.  I guess I should have known that it wasn't a law from the porn I watch.  I remember when I was escort - in the sex industry I remember this being talked about a lot.  It is something I think that is always kind of split in the porn industry - some don't want condoms and some do.  It was the same as an escort - some clients hated using condoms and some were fine using them. 

I like the idea of safe sex. But I also think the people having sex really should be the ones deciding on a personal level so does that move to the adult film industry too? Again...honestly not sure.  I think I lean more heavily towards safe sex.  I guess I kind of wonder if they worry about getting and STD.  I know I did as an escort and I played safe. But I still was nervous about it.

Anyway the reason I am writing about this is....I read a comment that made me laugh.... 

"Let's assume that we're filming an adult movie and it was taking place in the swashbuckler times. All of a sudden, Captain Jack slips on a condom. Obviously, that would basically destroy the movie, because it would be fake. Obviously, people would know that couldn't have happened then," Cambria said.

REALLY?  I mean REALLY?  Do we watch porn for reality? No, we watch because it is a fantasy and to feeds our fantasies. Is a pirate Captain Jack in porn trying to be like reality...really?  Sometimes I am amazed by the things people say. I totally get he is the attorney for the adult films so needing to come up with something to say in defense of not wearing them.  But not sure this comment helps his case. 

 The Colbert Report did a bit on it too.  It was funny. 

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

The statement that I have quoted above happens about the 3:30 mark, but the whole porn name thing is funny too. 

30 Days of Kink - Day 12

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had.  If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

I am not sure I really had humorous BDSM/kink experiences, but I have humorous sex experiences....

* In my sexual history I have....

fallen off the bed during sex....

broke the bed during sex...

broke the futon during sex...

broke a table I was bent over...

broke a chair we were having sex in....


* My ex-husband and I were having sex before we married. We lived in a big apartment complex...the window was open. I forgot and after I ended my long screaming orgasm....we heard clapping. He peeked out the window the building was an L shape and several neighbors on their balconies were clapping and cheering. I went out and took a bow (with a robe on). He was totally embarrassed, but I was like so what...we know they all have sex and so do we….it is normal…so it was not a big deal to me but was a big deal to him.


* In another relationship we were poly - our household had 2 males and 4 females at one point. Anyway, one male and I were doing SM play and having sex...it was a long session that ended with sex. Anyway, during it our air conditioner went out. One of the females called maintenance - and did not tell us. They came in and took a look, but said they would come back later. She told us later that he for sure heard me moaning because she could. So he comes back later when we were up - and out - the maintenance guys said "nice to SEE you." -- And had this silly grin on his face...like he was saying nice to SEE you instead of just HEAR you! I wanted to die and hide, but I just kind of nodded and walked away.


* In the same relationship, we had a big plastic tub in the Master bedroom...it had all our SM toys...rope, floggers, sex toys (vibes, butt plugs), nipple clamps, clothes pins, gags, collars, leashes, chain and... tons of other toys. We had someone over and played the night before. I had not gotten a chance to get in there and clean up yet. So there was chains and cuffs attached to the bed, a butt plug and vibrator (that had been cleaned sitting on the night stand), rope in a pile next to the bed, a gag and blindfold hanging off the headboard, locks and more chain lying in a pile next to the bed, floggers and clamps hanging out of the plastic tub. 

The man I was involved with - was hooked up to a breathing machine at night for sleep apnea - but they needed to test blood oxygen levels to see if they had it set up right so needed to bring in another machine. Well he forgot to tell me they were coming by that morning. So when the guy knocked at the door I was a little surprised. He said he needed to go into the bedroom to hook it up. I said, “umm well I need to go clean up” and told him I would be right back. He said, “oh no don't bother I have seen I am sure much worse”...and followed me into the bedroom. I saw him look around and then he cleared his throat and said – “so isn't all this rain terrible?” and proceeded to carry on a "normal" conversation. We talked about restaurants and food. 

After he got it hooked up -- I had to fill out some forms -- so we did that in the living room. He said to me “you seem really cool.” I was still I think in a constant state of red from blushing from him being around all our toys. I said, “thanks.” He said, “you are very open minded.” I nodded and said, “umm yes.” And that is all the further he took it, but I could see he wanted to ask more. He just didn't know how to open it up to talk more.  And I just left it alone.


* Another time, same relationship, I was having a migraine and so laying under a bunch of blankets on the bed with head covered. I did not hear anyone knocking at the door. Well maintenance would knock, but if there was no answer they just let themselves in. Well they did -- they did not "notice" someone on the bed. Oh by the way I was naked - so I just lay there really still when I realized they had come in. They were changing out filters in the furnace (which was in the room where I was lying down) and changing out fire alarm batteries. So, I lay there just so still. On my computer that was in the same room - I had a screen saver with all sorts of bondage and SM porn -It was one of those slideshow type deals going through all the porn. So the guy gets done changing filter, turns around and sees it. He said, “wow.” Then he called to the other guy who was changing out batteries in the fire alarms down the hall into the room with him to see the screen saver. They stood their watching it and commenting on all the women and what was being done. Then they noticed the nipple clamps on the desk, the butt plug, vibe, and rope in a basket on shelving unit next to the desk....and commented on that. They were talking about how the people living here must really be kinky. Then they wondered if any of the photos were of the people living in this apartment. Commenting on how the carpet kind of looked like carpet in the apartment. Then all of sudden -- I heard a whisper. See I think one of them realized I was in the bed…so they left quickly.

So those are some my humorous sex moments besides just the laughing Master and I sometimes get because we are so damn happy during or after sex/bdsm play. 

previous answered questions

Corrupted

“When she’s abandoned her moral center and teachings when she’s cast aside her facade of propriety and lady-like demeanor…when I have so corrupted this fragile thing and brought out a writhing, mewling, bucking, wanton whore for my enjoyment and pleasure…..enticing from within this feral lioness…growling and scratching and biting…taking everything I dish out to her…..at that moment she is never more beautiful to me. ” ~ De Sade

Isn't that just lovely? 

I love those moments where it is just the pleasure/pain and that is all that matters so I would do anything he says because I don't want it to stop. Not very many dominants or lovers have ever gotten me the total abandonment of thought of anything other than just keep doing what they tell you.  But I have had a few people and there are shining moments in my head that I replay a lot. Master is of course one of those people. Don, my ex-husband, and MS are the others. 

I have had a lot of great sex that comes close to there, but there is always this little pieces of myself I hang on to with some people. I can't totally let go. Also most of people I have been with won't push me there. To get to that level of surrender - abandonment as he calls it - I need that push. I need the force. The force gets me there and turns me on.  Letting go like that - becoming a wanton whore gives me something I need.

I am thankful for those moments when I have been pushed there. As I said they shine for me and I love replaying them over and over again. 

Orgasm Denial

Orgasm denial or just controlling orgasms is one of those things I don't feel works very well for the majority of women. Oddly I feel from things I have read, it seems to work better for males than females, but that might be a myth or not accurate.

Every dominant I have ever been with has probably tried some orgasm denial or controlling orgasms with me at some point, but I am one of those women where the end result isn't usually what the dominant is wanting.  It is more of a use it or lose it kind of thing for me. So denying orgasms for me, just turns off my sexuality.  Controlling when I masturbate or am given pleasure where I am told I can't have those things - again usually just turns me off sexually.

I can think of one time orgasm denial worked with me and that is with my ex-husband. He had sex with me and touched me, but wouldn't let me orgasm or touch myself. He really kept my sexual hunger right there on the edge because he was being sexual with me every day - often multiple times a day -  just not letting me orgasm. It was about 5 days and then he let me orgasm. He was working up to a special occasion by making me wait for it - I think it was the anniversary of our first date. It did create a hunger in me that when I did orgasm it was very intense. But again he kept me sexually on edge.

In my history, when I have had dominant do orgasm denial it is more along the lines of - being told I can't orgasm for a set amount of days/weeks. There isn't usually a lot of sexual interaction so that sexual need isn't there. It fades and just makes it very hard for me to orgasm then when that stretch is done. It doesn't create anticipation, build my sexual frustration or make me crave sex or his cock more - it makes it fade.

The same thing happens when I am told I can only orgasm when I ask or am told.  For me....it was hard because I am sexually submissive and if my dominant tells me to masturbate one night and then doesn't the next - well in my mind he doesn't want me too and I want to please so I don't ask to masturbate unless really I feel like it is going to fade soon if I don't. But even then if it is last moment for me - it is harder for me and not as pleasurable. So...again...if I am not masturbating or having sexual interaction with someone then it will fade.

For me, being told I can't orgasm or having a set amount of time where I can't orgasm or have sexual pleasure, will make my sexual appetite shut down and then make it harder to achieve orgasm, to get wet or turned on.

Controlling a submissive's orgasms or sexual pleasure, it often seems like being told no is the idea of control. But being allowed is a form of control too. As a dominant you are allowed to say yes or no. I am allowed to orgasm during sex when I can.  I am allowed to masturbate whenever I want. Even if it isn't Master's hand, implements he wields, or his voice creating the orgasm, he is the one that allows me sexual pleasure and energy.  If Master didn't want me too, he could say no, but he said yes. He had the right to tell me yes or no.  I just couldn't decide on my own - he decided because he has control of me.

Ultimately Master has found that he feeds off my sexual energy. To keep me sexual - helps his sexual energy. So allowing me to have sexual pleasure - gives him the end results he desires. And I am very very thankful he  wants me to be sexual.

Lately

I will apologize in advance for the words I use in the post. I don't have words to accurately describe what I am feeling so it might come off as a cheap porn, but please know I  recognize the problem I am having with finding the right words.


Lately whenever Master touches me I am pretty much set on fire. It is like an electrical current running through my body that only he knows how access. So while driving he will reach over and touch my arm and I moan. When passing by me in the house, he will touch me just to get me to moan and wiggle because I do every time he touches me.


A little over a week ago, we were engaged in SM and sex. Master had his hand between my legs digging, grabbing, twisting and scrapping my pussy.  It hurt like hell, but yet I was so turned on that I would hump against his hand as he was doing these cruel things to me. After humping once and seeing how much pain I was in but how damn turned on it made me, he of course made me do it over and over. Because he likes I am willing to hurt myself for him.  For several days after, it hurt to pee.  And although it hurt to pee, every time he touched me - I was ready to hump his hand again. I moved my hips and moaned with just a little touch of his fingertips to my arm. We were in the car a day or so later running errands and he touched me so lightly but I moaned and moved my hips. He said, "you would hump my hand right now wouldn't you?"  And he was right, I would have because he touched me and it turns my whole body on ready to go. It is a buzzing beneath my skin that is just always ready right now and when he touches me - my body is just so thankful for even that little touch.


Last week, Master had to go do some business in a neighboring town so that meant a little road trip for the day.  I went with him. Before we left, I asked if he wanted me to wear anything specific as he had been making hints of things he wanted to do while we were on the road so knew he might have something in mind for clothing. He did.  He bought me this gold bodysuit ages and ages ago. Although it is something he loves it, it is something I put on very rarely because it makes me so self conscious.  But he asked me to wear it under a knit dress that has buttons from top to bottom. Meaning it is easy to get on and off in the car while riding along with Master.


On the way there he needed to focus on work. But on the way back he had plans.  A short ways out of town, he had me taking off my dress so I was just in the gold suit.  He then took a turn off the main highway and pulled to the side of the road. He got out and inserted The Dukes (benwa balls) into me. He took backroads on our way home which are much more bumpy and so I felt the The Dukes moving around inside me.  Turning me on and making me wet.


We had never taken this road before. We had thought about it but just didn't have the time when we didn't know how long it would take us. But today we decided to take a chance and so glad we did as it was so pretty. I now think it is going to be on my list as a  favorite. It would be incredible to live there but probably not great internet service reaching there. But truly beautiful and breath-taking.


The road came out in a small town on our original route so were able to take that the rest of the way home. Master had commented on the way about all the construction around that area. Basically saying I would be in my gold suit on the way home and the construction workers would be able to see me.  Well we didn't bypass the construction taking the scenic route - so about 20 mins before the construction, Master had me start masturbating with my remote control egg. I had 6 orgasms before we reached the construction.  They had the road open only one way so ushering people through in groups.  Just as we reached the stop point - to wait to get ushered I was having an orgasm. I pulled myself kind of upright instead of all down in my seat and tried to pretend I was okay. But Master kept pushing the remote to the egg up and down so the intensity would sometimes make me wiggle around more and make some moaning noise.


When we got going again, Master had me start masturbating again. While driving he would reach over and spank my pussy, slap my tits or grab and squeeze them hard. I am not sure how many more orgasms I had but a couple more at least but they were so powerful that I was begging no more. He said he didn't think he heard me correctly and keep pushing.  Eventually he allowed me to stop and I was ready for a nap with all the exertion in the hot weather.  Not that I am complaining it was a fun way to spend our time on the road home.  


As a slave, I think people sometimes think life is full of SM and sex. But we ebb and flow like every couple. Just right now we are having almost daily moments that when he touches me, it just sets turns something on inside me and it has helped keep that flow of sexual/SM energy up.

Spitting as Lube

When I was married, my husband slapped and spit on my face a few times. It always turned me on. I remember he was fucking me really hard one afternoon and said to me "I really want to slap your face and spit on you" and the thought made me moan and push up to meet him. I nodded that it turned me on....so he did it.  I have had my face spit on by a few men in my life since then....Master being one of them. And it is a turn on.  Yes it can go on that verge of being gross to me but most of the time I am so sexually in my frenzy that almost anything done to me is fine. I love that state.

But spit as lube- grosses me out.  I had a few clients try that when I was an escort but I usually reached over for the lube and asked them to just do a little squirt of it.  But mostly where I see spitting used as lube is in porn.  I am watching the porn to get turned on and then they spit and it really squicks me.

I am not sure I get using spit as lube. I mean you are making a porn and have availability to all these toys and condoms on the toys but you don't have time to put a bottle of lube out to use? I know in Lesbian porn yes they are going to go down on each other but I know there has to be a lube that has a tolerable taste out there to use.  I haven't just seen this in lesbian porn, but also in hetrosexual porn too - men seem to spit on the girl's pussy lots for lube.  It turns me off.  

Master, teacup and I watched Whippedass.com Lesbian BDSM Volume 1 and they used spit ALL the time to the point we could predict when the next spit lubing was coming up and turn away because it grossed teacup and I out. It just made us cringe, turn away and wait for the next beating because sex always included spitting. Yucky!


Plus I read once using spit as lube can cause yeast infections.  Thinking of all the spit used in that DVD...um yeah...gross. 


Please if you are reading this don't just assume using your spit as lube is okay. Please ask the girl what she prefers.  Please if you make porn - make sure your actors/actresses have lube on set and don't use spit. 

Magic Cream

I have shaved the hair on my pussy on and off over the years. I like the way it feels when it is smooth.  I like the way fabric feels against it. I like wearing no panties and feeling air hit my skin as I wear skirts and dresses.  I just like the way it feels. I don't stay shaved all the time though.

Master doesn't have a strict policy on being shaved, but he enjoys it so when I do need to shave clean I start with Magic Cream. I have used regular and mild, but mostly just used mild in the past because the regular burned a little.   They changed their look lately though - possibly the formula and regular this time was better than the mild of the old formula/look.  It worked just as well though.

I suggest of course following the directions on the back and doing a test patch because it can burn if you don't.  I have sensitive skin though and hadn't any problems with the mild and...now the regular.

You rub it on the hair - without water. You put the creamy paste on fairly thick and let it sit for 7 to 9 mins.  Then you just scrap it off - with a spatula or washcloth.  I find that I first scrap off with a washcloth outside the shower.  And then taking and scrubbing it off with a washcloth in the shower works best for me but I would suggest following the directions first and doing it their way. It will not be perfectly smooth.  But it will be close.

I wait 24 hours and then I shave. It feels very close then.  I don't have to do much to keep it up after that.

I picked up Magic Cream at Target in the men's shaving section (our local Target has a woman's shaving section in one area and men's shaving section in another.)  I have seen it at some Walgreen's in the past too - just depends on the town you live in. You can order it online too.

Edit Added August 6, 2012:  Someone I know who uses this also - keeps it on for 15 minutes. She has found that keeping it on longer works better for her. The next time I use it, I am going to keep it on longer to see if works even better than usual.  Also the smell of this product doesn't bring the sexy - as it smells like rotten eggs.  

What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?

Just a little life....

* Master was really into this cycle of using humiliation on me - then we had to go out of town and of course that threw us off our schedule. But it was lots of fun - being mindfucked and turned by it. :)

* My gawd I have my period and I think even if I fucked a whole army platoon I wouldn't be satiated. I am just so horny this time. I mean I am always horny with my period but this time seems like 10 times more then usual. But on top of being horny - I have had a migraine cycle from hell and having sex or orgasms don't really help them. But it hasn't stopped me from giving Master blow jobs even though it spikes me up....I don't care as I am just so horny I want his cock in me.

* We saw The Avenger's - twice! Oh so so good! Joss Whedon did a fantastic job! I am so happy for him and the success of the moive.  Last movie I saw twice in the theater was Star Trek. I think actually I saw that 3 times.  We just don't see movies in the theater often anyway so going twice is something we really don't do. Title of this post is from the Avenger's

* Because I am wanting Master's cock so much  - giving him multiple blow jobs a day lately he wrote Cock Slut in marker on my breasts.  During the movie on Friday - I reach out and touched his thigh just to lay my hand there and instantly spiked my desire of wishing we weren't in the theater and instead at home so I could have his cock in my mouth. I am telling you I am so freakin horny right now.

* teacup will be here again in less than a month! YAY!  When she booked her ticket, I think we were all bouncing off the walls that she gets to visit again so soon.

* When she is here - she will get to meet one of Master's long time friends who is poly while we are in Denver to pick teacup up from the airport.  And she might meet Master's sister too on our way back to bring her to the airport. We are out to Master's sister - she knows about our lifestyle - both the M/s and poly. She is excited to meet our love.  We also hope that she gets to meet some local friends that we were suppose to get together with last time - hopefully this time we are able to do that.

*  Spent lots of time in the kitchen this week - made homemade hoagie rolls earlier in the week and then Saturday I made homemade hamburger buns, browned 2 lbs of ground beef, made meatloaf for the freezer so I can take it out and bake later, made lots of meatballs, sauteed veggies and then made muffins for breakfast too. Last night we had hamburgers on homemade buns, corn on the cob with Northwood Seasoning from Penzeys Spices and then Cherry Wine with lemonade in it.  A recipe we got from a local winery when teacup was here last.  I am about to go make some things to take on a picnic to watch the sunset tonight and hopefully see the Ring of Fire (annular solar eclipse).  Master also has some fun things planned for on our trip to where we are going to view it - and for while we are out there. It is kind of a remote area.  I will write about it I am sure I will be writing about whatever happens. :)

* I am feeling very blessed right now. Because life is really good. I mean of course it would be better if teacup was here with us but I am just so happy we found someone who is such an amazing person  that meshes with us so well.   Master is great....I am just so happy with him and to be HIS. Life is just really good.  Love my Life!

Responsible for my Own Orgasm

Once upon a time you could look at me and I could have an orgasm.  It was just simple and easy.  I got turned on easy and I had multiple orgasms easily.  As I get older, it is getting harder to have an orgasm.  Sometimes it is quick and easy like it used to be but the majority of the time it isn't.

Something I have had a hard time with as a submissive is that I want to please Master in all ways and when my orgasms started being harder to reach, I felt bad. I felt like something is "wrong" with me.  I am not good enough for him because I can't reach an orgasm as easily.  Now obviously he is with me not just for my orgasms.  We are together because we are compatible beyond sex - logically I get that. But in the moment of having sex and it seems like it is taking a long time and that frustration is building - the thoughts that there is something wrong with me and feeling inadequate because I can't even orgasm creep in.  Silly - I know.

My body is all over the place right now - changing all the time.  Sometimes it takes pain to get me off and other times I need a softer touch. I always need pain and bdsm stuff for the foreplay to get me turned on and get me wet and wanton, but when it comes down to the actual orgasm - sometimes I just need some firm but soft touching of my clit.  Even then though I still might not come because I need an added mental component  - mostly dirty talk. It is what will usually push me over. But what I am trying to say - it is different almost always - which can get frustrating.

I recently was watching a Tuesday's with Nina over on EdenFantasys.com. They are videos where Nina Hartley is giving sexual advice. Now if you don't know who Nina Hartley is - please google. I think the first porn I watched had Nina in it.  She is long time adult movie star as well as a sex educator.  I really enjoy her Tuesday's with Nina series over on Eden Tube.

One video I watched, that I will embed below, featured a question from a young woman that was having problems achieving orgasm with her partner. That it was making her and her partner feel bad and like they were doing something wrong because she couldn't reach orgasm "from" him.  Nina offered really good advice as well as just some good common sense words - we all are responsible for our own orgasm.

Just because your partner is the one helping you get there doesn't mean he/she is responsible for pushing you over and giving you one.  You know your body and know what will get you there and there is nothing wrong with having fun foreplay and getting close and then personally taking over to push it over.  I think I forget that at times.  Master does a great job of giving me orgasms. I can have one with him pushing me over but when I am having problems - there is no rule that say I can't take over to push over. Sometimes we have done that too - just not often enough and not soon enough. I usually get to the bad thoughts of being inadequate before I just get some sex toys out so I can push it over. Master doesn't care how I orgasm just as long as we are both having fun and getting pleasure (of course we mix it with SM which is pleasurable to us). I mean that is what is about - are we having fun - keeping it fun and doing things to help before it becomes frustrating.

Please watch the video below as well as checking out all the other great videos and content over on EdenFantasys. I love how they always get me thinking about something in a new way.



 Disclosure: EdenFantasys provided me with a gift card in exchange for this post. All opinions are my own, and were not influenced in any way.

Too Dum to Cum

Humiliation and degradation really trip my trigger for turn-ons.  Sometimes I get hung up on the fact that "it shouldn't" and other times I can let it go and just go with it. Right now I am in a let it go and go with it phase. Thank goodness I am....as Master has been using it every time we have had sex recently.

The other day we were having sex where Master had an orgasm and I didn't. He got up to take a shower and told me to masturbate. He said that if I didn't orgasm before he got out that he would write something humiliating on me.  Before he had me start masturbating, I was ready. I was so close to popping off easily that I thought no problem. Grrr the power of Master and the mindfuck....because of course I got close but didn't push over.  He got out of the shower and looked at me from the bathroom door while I laid on the bed still trying.  He kind of cocked his head in which he asked the question without speaking of...."well did you?"  I screamed "NO" in frustration.  He smiled and laughed. As soon as he was done drying off he went to the kitchen to get a sharpie  He pressed the sharpie to my skin on my stomach and I had an orgasm...just with him pressing that sharpie to my skin. As he wrote the words, multiple orgasms erupted.  He wrote "too dum to cum" - purposely spelling dumb wrong.

Every time he points the writing out on me, I squirm and feel myself get wet.

March Q & A: SM questions

Name some things you don't experience with your Master but desire.
Wax play - I don' t think Master really has ever played with it but  he just sees that as a mess and not fun.

Gang Bang or being loaned out or just being with other men - Master isn't interested in it. Now we have had a few conversations that involve me with another and it seemed to interest him a little bit but don't think it will ever come to something he actually will do with me.

Rope Bondage - Master does it at times but not one of his favorite things and it is a big desire of mine. I love rope and how it feels against my body and the tension in it when I try to move.

Those are the only things coming to mind at the moment.

What was the worse pain you have ever felt?
hmmm I think....cattleprod and being flogged with wire

I know you consider yourself a masochist, but are there times you don't like the pain?
Oh yes. There are a lot of factors that go into if I am going to get into the pain or not.  Sometimes I have started out where it hurts like hell and then finally turns into pleasure. Other times I have had it where I become a slut with it and just want more and more pain.  Or then there a headspace for me that I call my masochistic mode but that really doesn't fit the definition - where the pain hurts but I like that it hurts. I like the pain. It isn't pleasurable, it hurts but the pain rushes those endorphins in me and creates a very primal and raw feeling. And sometimes I can't wait to get more pain. And I would do anything to feel more of it because it is so addictive. I get wet with the pain and sometimes I orgasm with the pain. And still there are other times  where it hurts and I just don't feel I can take it. I often cry because I just want it to stop. But endure it for him.

Do you get aftercare?
No not really. The only time there is any type of aftercare is when we snuggle up and fall asleep after playing and having sex. I guess at least that could be called aftercare. I really don't feel the need for aftercare. Even before Master, when I played in Cleveland with various people and they tried to do aftercare - I think it made me uncomfortable - made all the pain seem less real?  Aftercare for me makes it feel like this was a game we were playing and now it is over. And this is our life - we live it day in and day out.  Now those that want or need aftercare, I totally get that it works for you - it just doesn't work for me. It ruins my experience. And not getting aftercare might ruin yours - its all good - it is finding what works for you.

Do you ever wish you weren't kinky?
No, I am very glad I am kinky. I like to serve, I like obeying and I like pain....all good things in being kinky.

Eden Fantasys Giveaway - Coquette Lingerie

Eden Fantasys has a Coquette lingerie giveaway going on right now where they are giving away 6 pieces of Coquette lingerie to 3 people.  You have 5 more days to enter so go over and make sure you do as they have some really pretty and sexy lingerie.

I have to admit that I hadn't taken a good look at Eden Fantasys lingerie before today. But I am now wishing I would have looked a little sooner.  I am really like the Coquette lingerie.  I am a big girl and they do show some Plus Sized Models in their lingerie to - so that is nice.

I have quite a lot of lingerie, but haven't bought any new lingerie in years and years. I mean probably more than 5 years. When I first moved in with Master,  I would dress for him every night. I would wear lingerie or just something sexy like a short short skirt, with garters and stockings peeking out and a blouse showing lots of cleavage. Every day I would greet him at the door all dolled up.

But he now works from home so it is hard to "surprise" him with it when we are together all day.  But really there was another reason I stopped wearing lingerie - and that is because I didn't feel sexy in it anymore. It didn't make me feel good or give me any pleasure to put it on.

In the post about the giveaway it says: "You don’t need to wear lingerie for anyone but yourself and for the pleasure it brings you.  When you feel good about yourself – under your clothes or out of them – you exude sexy, ooze confidence."  I totally agree with that sentiment.  I think wearing sexy lingerie because it brings you pleasure and makes you feel good about yourself that it will give you confidence that will make you feel sexy and exude sexy.  But for me wearing it so much -  I think took some of the pleasure away.  It made it feel ordinary instead of special. I love to feel sexy everyday and yes maybe lingerie is that way for some but for me, I like just wearing it every so often because it keeps it as that thing I know I can put on a feel sexy but it also makes it special and different to get away from the everyday mundane things in life. I enjoy the feeling of sliding on a pair of sexy panties, a sheer babydoll, lace topped thigh highs or anything that has that look for me - it just like the quote says makes me feel good about me which brings on a level of confidences that is sexy. I like putting it on and it gives me a little escape - from all the work that needs to be done, bills that need to be paid and laundry stacking up - it allows me to feel sexy and know those things will wait for a bit.

We are most likely going to be taking a road trip for business soon, but it is always a time when I decide to pack some sexy lingerie, sex toys and some kinky items to spice up our nights on the road. I am not sure what it is about being in a hotel room that brings out really good kinky sex but I have many fond memories of our travel time. So maybe some new lingerie would be the icing on top of the cake for this trip.


Disclosure: EdenFantasys provided me with a gift card in exchange for this post. All opinions are my own, and were not influenced in any way.

March Q&A - 2 more Questions

Have you ever had your breasts whipped or caned? If so what was it like? If not would you like to have it ?
Yes, I have had them whipped, canned, flogged, cropped, punched, slapped and had many other implements used on them. The baton and evil stick probably hurt the most.  Or the rubber flogger. I don't think Master has used the braided flogger on my breasts before just my ass, back and thighs because that thing hurts more then anything - the leather is different - harder and it hurts in that oh my gawd yes I love pain way.  I am not sure I know how to describe the pain inflicted on my breasts.  I am masochist so pain hurts and I like that it hurts. I like to suffer. So feeling the sting of a whip or cane just a shock of pain vibrating through me and that is a good thing to me.  


I do like pain on my breasts and Master doesn't usually leave them untouched during sex - they are grabbed hard, slapped and punched often.  Which probably those things hurt more then any implement as Master hurts them longer then a sting of a whip or cane can inflict on me. 


I haven't had anal sex before, but my husband wants to try it. Can you give me any tips for decreasing the pain? 
I am going to say this...I don't think much can decrease the pain of the first, second, third...or how ever many times...it just depends on the person and how big your husband's cock is on how much pain you will feel. But for me there has always been some pain. 


I have been having anal sex since I was 18 and I am now 44 and it still hurts. But....it hurts less then it does the first time because I do use anal plugs so my ass is used to something being there.  So start with a butt plug. Something small and then you can move up in sizes. But get your ass used to having something there.  Use LUBE on the plugs.  Then maybe move on to your husband using fingers on you, moving in and out so you are used to the motion/friction that happens even though it will be much thinner with fingers.  


When we are going to have anal sex,  I do a deep breath in before he pushes in and as he pushes in a little more - I let the breath out and let my ass muscles relax and push out because that opens me up more. Use LOTS of lube and tell your husband how it is feeling. If you need him to stop right where he is - ask him to stop and not move. Take a few moments to breath and relax and then have him start again slowly.  Some people prefer it to just be shoved in - go fast to get it in and then they can relax easier.  So you need to find what works for you. 
You don't need to do an enema before hand, but you can if you wish. Just water nothing else.  If Master is the mood he basically questions me on how my bowel movement was - because if I had one then I am probably cleaned out good enough.  Maybe I am having stomach problems/bowel issues - he wants to know that before sticking his cock up my ass. :)   It does take talking about something that can be embarrassing to many, but better to talk about it then have surprises. 


Remember it is March Question Month. Ask any question and I will blog my answer. You can ask even ask anonymously. Just post your question(s) here in comments or via email. 

Moaning during a Blowjob

Camille Crimson is the model and webmaster of The Art of Blowjob. I love the photos she posts on tumblr. They are all really good sensual blowjob photos. I think she is very pretty and sexy.

Tonight she posted a question from a fan who asked why she doesn't moan in her the videos when giving a blowjob.  Her reply was that she didn't moan because she didn't know anyone outside of pornstars who do that and so it feels fake to her.

I replied to the question but unfortunately I am not finding it on her tumblr so that I can link to the question and my reply.

My reply: If it feels fake to you, I can understand not wanting to do it. But I can say that I do moan when giving a blowjob and I am not a pornstar. :) I have found men like the vibrations of the moan and just enjoy the sound of that muffled moan.

We are limited replies on tumblr so that is all I posted but thought I would expound on it a bit. I can understand if it feels fake to her then not moaning during a blowjob because if it feels fake it just feels off then.  So I wouldn't either.  I am not a pornstar as I replied but because of my background as an escort, I did give quite a few blowjobs over the years.  I didn't always moan but I did with some.  I moaned when it really just came over me that....there is times when it is just this delicious cock in my mouth and it is turning me on so I moan. Other times I know the guy enjoys moaning and because I am a pleaser, I moan.  And lastly I moan because the vibrations of the moan does feel good to some men.  I moan at times because it is a combination of those reasons.

I just asked teacup if she moans during blowjobs and she replied she moans too. To anyone reading...do you moan while giving a blowjob?

I don't think moaning while giving a blowjob is something only porn stars do. I think many men/women moan while giving a blowjob.