Friday, March 30, 2012

March Q & A: SM questions

Name some things you don't experience with your Master but desire.
Wax play - I don' t think Master really has ever played with it but  he just sees that as a mess and not fun.

Gang Bang or being loaned out or just being with other men - Master isn't interested in it. Now we have had a few conversations that involve me with another and it seemed to interest him a little bit but don't think it will ever come to something he actually will do with me.

Rope Bondage - Master does it at times but not one of his favorite things and it is a big desire of mine. I love rope and how it feels against my body and the tension in it when I try to move.

Those are the only things coming to mind at the moment.

What was the worse pain you have ever felt?
hmmm I think....cattleprod and being flogged with wire

I know you consider yourself a masochist, but are there times you don't like the pain?
Oh yes. There are a lot of factors that go into if I am going to get into the pain or not.  Sometimes I have started out where it hurts like hell and then finally turns into pleasure. Other times I have had it where I become a slut with it and just want more and more pain.  Or then there a headspace for me that I call my masochistic mode but that really doesn't fit the definition - where the pain hurts but I like that it hurts. I like the pain. It isn't pleasurable, it hurts but the pain rushes those endorphins in me and creates a very primal and raw feeling. And sometimes I can't wait to get more pain. And I would do anything to feel more of it because it is so addictive. I get wet with the pain and sometimes I orgasm with the pain. And still there are other times  where it hurts and I just don't feel I can take it. I often cry because I just want it to stop. But endure it for him.

Do you get aftercare?
No not really. The only time there is any type of aftercare is when we snuggle up and fall asleep after playing and having sex. I guess at least that could be called aftercare. I really don't feel the need for aftercare. Even before Master, when I played in Cleveland with various people and they tried to do aftercare - I think it made me uncomfortable - made all the pain seem less real?  Aftercare for me makes it feel like this was a game we were playing and now it is over. And this is our life - we live it day in and day out.  Now those that want or need aftercare, I totally get that it works for you - it just doesn't work for me. It ruins my experience. And not getting aftercare might ruin yours - its all good - it is finding what works for you.

Do you ever wish you weren't kinky?
No, I am very glad I am kinky. I like to serve, I like obeying and I like pain....all good things in being kinky.

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