Sex Dreams of True Life

The other night on the phone with teacup, Master mentioned something about his ass...honestly I am not sure what the conversation was, but probably something very benign like his ass was dragging because he was tired.  We had this conversation right before bed....so I had a dream about something that happened one of the times teacup visited.

We put in bad porn. I mean it - it was bad - we didn't know it was going to be bad, as we hadn't ever watched it. So put in the porn and then Master was lying over the liberator. Teacup and I were touching and kissing him all over. Our attention was focused solely on him.  One thing I did was lick his ass. I had done it before, but it had been a long time since the last time.  It was a lot of fun and he enjoyed it.  So I dreamed about licking his ass and sucking his cock. Always the makings for good dreams!

In Motion

* We have been traveling quite a bit - just day trips or a few days here and there. But soon we will be taking a longer trip. We will be going to see my sister and her family. After a few days with her, we will go do a work project and then after the work is done, we will spend the weekend with teacup as we will be in her neck of the woods. It is really great since we haven't seen her since June and it has been hard on all of us. But we see her again in November. She will be spending Thanksgiving with us.

* I have my follow up for my doctor coming up this week - for the sciatica. He did a treatment of cortisone that lasted 10 hours. Then he prescribed a pill that was for 5 days, but my doctor and my pharmacist were really at odds with each other on the drug. After taking this drug and seeing how I reacted, he will know better how to treat me. The drug worked great except for upsetting my stomach which was the pharmacist concern. But the positive of the drug it brought my pain down to zero on a pain scale and the most it would go up to is a 3. It still even almost a week after it has been done hasn't brought my pain back up to where it was before (a 7 was pretty much my daily consistent pain level).

* Yesterday we did yard work. Both of us are not fans of it.  I have bad allergies that really just cause me to be miserable because I would love to have some garden but just can't keep up with it. But this was icky yard work - pulling weeds. We have rock landscaping, but weeds come up in them and with my sciatica being as bad as it has been there has been no way I could do it before now.  It was hard to do it yesterday. Master ended up doing the backbreaking stuff. We had put it off until we couldn't any longer.

* The first of February is our anniversary, but the 1st of every month for the last 9 years Master says Happy Anniversary.  We laughed that our morning was spent doing yard work - fun fun! But really I am thankful that we can have of course lots of fun together, but also make things we don't like doing go a little faster and better by doing them together.  We did of course have some afternoon fun.

* We have all sorts of toys....whip, floggers, cane, evil stick, baton, leather strap and so on but the things that seem to always make marks on me are just things around the house.  When teacup was here last time, Master was looking for a tie in a bondage book. It wasn't giving him the info he wanted to he decided to instead use the book to beat me.  I ended up with some wicked looking bruises. Yesterday afternoon Master used a rubber band and I have nasty bruises on my breasts.

* We were out of town recently and when we arrived back in town we decided to get some errands out of the way before heading home. One thing was to go to the library as I figured I had some book waiting for me. I came with a HUGE pile.  Master shouted from the car on my way out of the library carrying the huge pile of books that I didn't need to check whole library out. The lady in front of me got a chuckle. But the sad thing is that huge pile of books I only have like 3 left to read as I am going through a book a day still.  I got through the Anita Blake series. All caught up again...I had been 3 books behind, but reread the entire series. I admit I got to one book there at the end - I think it was Hit List and thought of Kam. He used to read them out loud to me. I thought of him through the earlier books but Hit List for some reason really reminded me of him.

* Here is a youtube clip from the movie The Ugly Truth. I haven't seen the movie, but this clip is amusing. To me at least. Might be my lack of sleep. Or just thinking Gerard Bulter is hot.

last week

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What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?

Just a little life....

* Master was really into this cycle of using humiliation on me - then we had to go out of town and of course that threw us off our schedule. But it was lots of fun - being mindfucked and turned by it. :)

* My gawd I have my period and I think even if I fucked a whole army platoon I wouldn't be satiated. I am just so horny this time. I mean I am always horny with my period but this time seems like 10 times more then usual. But on top of being horny - I have had a migraine cycle from hell and having sex or orgasms don't really help them. But it hasn't stopped me from giving Master blow jobs even though it spikes me up....I don't care as I am just so horny I want his cock in me.

* We saw The Avenger's - twice! Oh so so good! Joss Whedon did a fantastic job! I am so happy for him and the success of the moive.  Last movie I saw twice in the theater was Star Trek. I think actually I saw that 3 times.  We just don't see movies in the theater often anyway so going twice is something we really don't do. Title of this post is from the Avenger's

* Because I am wanting Master's cock so much  - giving him multiple blow jobs a day lately he wrote Cock Slut in marker on my breasts.  During the movie on Friday - I reach out and touched his thigh just to lay my hand there and instantly spiked my desire of wishing we weren't in the theater and instead at home so I could have his cock in my mouth. I am telling you I am so freakin horny right now.

* teacup will be here again in less than a month! YAY!  When she booked her ticket, I think we were all bouncing off the walls that she gets to visit again so soon.

* When she is here - she will get to meet one of Master's long time friends who is poly while we are in Denver to pick teacup up from the airport.  And she might meet Master's sister too on our way back to bring her to the airport. We are out to Master's sister - she knows about our lifestyle - both the M/s and poly. She is excited to meet our love.  We also hope that she gets to meet some local friends that we were suppose to get together with last time - hopefully this time we are able to do that.

*  Spent lots of time in the kitchen this week - made homemade hoagie rolls earlier in the week and then Saturday I made homemade hamburger buns, browned 2 lbs of ground beef, made meatloaf for the freezer so I can take it out and bake later, made lots of meatballs, sauteed veggies and then made muffins for breakfast too. Last night we had hamburgers on homemade buns, corn on the cob with Northwood Seasoning from Penzeys Spices and then Cherry Wine with lemonade in it.  A recipe we got from a local winery when teacup was here last.  I am about to go make some things to take on a picnic to watch the sunset tonight and hopefully see the Ring of Fire (annular solar eclipse).  Master also has some fun things planned for on our trip to where we are going to view it - and for while we are out there. It is kind of a remote area.  I will write about it I am sure I will be writing about whatever happens. :)

* I am feeling very blessed right now. Because life is really good. I mean of course it would be better if teacup was here with us but I am just so happy we found someone who is such an amazing person  that meshes with us so well.   Master is great....I am just so happy with him and to be HIS. Life is just really good.  Love my Life!

Teacup

Teacup departed our arms  a week ago today. It was extremely hard to let her go as we had such an amazing time.

I am really glad that teacup's time with us gave her a taste of our everyday experiences. Master is self-employed and often our day/week get totally messed up because work comes first. And work got in the way right away. Monday and Tuesday we had tentative plans to meet some friends so they could meet teacup but Master ended up needing to do work both those days which then put other things we had wanted to do out of the schedule too. It really was a week of just planning it kind of day to day.

She got to experience everyday things like cleaning and folding clothes while Master was out on business. Her and I shopping and doing errands for Master while he was busy with work.  Her and Master running errands for his work and because we had to of course do some home repairs while she was here. She is a handy girl for sure - helped out on every level from sorting and filing things to doing home repairs. She just dove into the projects and was just willing to help out in any way.

We of course had LOTS of fun in there too.

Some highlights...mostly good with a few not so good thrown in to show it was everyday life full of ups and downs but mostly ups....
* her first night here - seeing her in bed with Master and being able to kiss them both good night. (our bed isn't big enough for all 3 of us to sleep comfortably in so we switched off nights sleeping with her)  It was quite overwhelming for me - in a good way. I was overwhelmed with love, affection and just joy...joy of seeing them in bed together...seeing her HERE with us.  It really choked me up with overflowing feelings and tears.

* I ended up being sick my first night sleeping with her

* I started spotting the day she arrived and then my period hit about half way through her visit and stopped the day she left.  My period was 10 days early. :(

* got to enjoy one of my obsessions with her - Harry Potter. She hadn't seen the last one so we watched the last 3 with her.  We also watched North by Northwest which is in my top 10 favorite movies. And we watched The Secretary which she hadn't seen before either.

* seeing teacup in her first hood, leather collar, cuffs and gag

* Master gagged us the first or second night - while he read from Laura Antoniou's  The Slave.  It was fun to see her drool. Her gag is much larger then mine as I have a small mouth - no really I do  My dentist even has told me that my mouth is small and always is asking me to open it more. :) Anyway - I have a small gag and she has a LARGE ball gag - she looked so pretty in it.

* Hearing Master and her having fun - really turned me on except for once...

* And I had a meltdown.  We all talked it out but it was very emotional. After that, later in the evening I did an Osho Zen tarot reading for all of us. teacup had never done tarot before and all of us....all of our cards were so spot on. I had 3 significant cards, but the last card actually used words from the meltdown earlier in the day.  It was very scary actually how accurate it was - we were looking at them like damn. It is amazing how much they can "read" you.

* teacup was a great help to me with a major project and doing some things around the house. I know I didn't let her do much, but this was also her vacation from work and I wanted her to be able to just relax. Next time she comes - I have promised to let her help more in chores and cooking. I pretty much spoiled her with food - I cooked a lot of our favorites and just had things planned out pretty good so that meals were covered.

* the liberator from Eden Fantasys arriving just in time to make sure her ass was in the air for Master to beat. (review of the liberator most likely coming at some point)

* knowing she now understands why when I say I am lucky that Master played the drums what I mean by that.  Master is the best spanker and it is all because he is a drummer. 

* my goodness that girl can take pain.  Really she could have gone on and on and on.

* She had lovely bruises on her ass and inside of her thighs.

* Her favorite toy is the Evil stick. (grins) Right teacup?  She knows the name fits it.

*  We had little afternoon trip to basically our backyard - where she took, I think it was, over 500 photos.

* We had a day trip too - and was wonderful to show her spots that have special meaning for us and create a moment that will now make it a very special spot for her.  Master collared her at one of our favorite places.  A waterfall we love to go to.

* I believe she enjoyed getting a taste of being chained to the bed at night. One night sleeping with her - her and I woke up with our male cat meowing because he wanted to be fed. He kept sitting there looking at us and meowing like "hey you guys are up come and feed me" but we were both chained to the bed.  So we kept telling him to go wake Master.  Have you ever watched Lassie where Lassie would come and tell them something by barking and of course they always understood. It would be something like Timmy fell in the well. We were doing that with our male cat - telling him to go tell Master Timmy fell in the well so he would come undo us from the bed .  Okay so maybe you needed to be here to get it :)

* Got some wine from local winery to enjoy on her last night here.  Also spent that afternoon at paint your own pottery place creating keepsakes for each other - we each took a turn at each other's piece to paint some of it.

*  One day Master had to work with a group of people and teacup and I were able to watch.  A couple people who are colleagues of Master but also friends said teacup and I looked like sisters.  Her and I both blushed because of the alternate meaning to us.  They all looked at her as a friend.  But she is part of our family and although sister isn't a word I would use for us - it is closest that works and that many use in poly situations.

Teacup is amazing person...she is so kind, funny, smart, adorable, pretty and sexy. She adapted quickly to things changing around here and the ups and downs. I loved being able to just spend time with her - no matter what it was...if it was sucking on her nipple or just talking - every moment with her was amazing. I feel really blessed we found such an amazing person to be a part of our family.

We had a lot more moments and each moment just seemed to feel right - right with her here with us.  It is something we are working towards. It will most likely be a long road to get her here with us but we are all wanting this so willing to wait.  But letting her go was really hard but we are looking ahead and keeping in mind all the wonderful memories we created.  We look forward to next time we see each other and for the eventual day she can move here to be with us.

(photo taken by Master several years ago even though Master did take some more this time. The falls just weren't as full right now so showing you a picture of them in their full beauty)

Amazing Day

"What if today, danae, was your day? The most amazing day of your life, so far? A day that would change everything for the better? What's already good would become great. What's already great would become amazing. And what's already amazing would become the stuff of legends.


And all you had to do to take advantage of the good and wonderful things about to happen for you, was treat folks with a true and eager kindness, think mostly of those things that please you, and go out in the world, just a bit, where you could meet, and mingle, and fall in love?


How much would you be clucking right now? Thumbs under your armpits, getting funky? Bobbing your head?


Start clucking baby! Beam, gush, preen! You got it...
    The Universe"


This was the note from the Universe for Monday and Monday was a truly spectacular day.  It was an amazing day that did change thing for better. Each day with teacup just makes my life feel like we have a life full of wonderful.


We took a little drive in our backyard basically as it a national park on the edge of our town and teacup snapped over 500 photos.  It was just a day of enjoying each other's company - exploring the beauty of Colorado with people I love. It was fun to see Master and teacup together - arms around each other, just being close.  It was nice to be a part of it. Being there with them hand in hand.  It feels like our family is complete now. Which is such an amazing feeling.


Many wonderful things done together as a family - all day.  Everything just feels so right.


Our day ended with me hearing Master and teacup - her sucking and him obviously doing things to her that she was enjoying as her moans got pretty loud. :)  I was just hearing and not seeing this as I was in the next room - and masturbating. I ended up cumming six time just to listening to the wonderfully erotic sounds of them.  A nice way to end a beautiful day together - listening to 2 people I love enjoying some intimate time.

48 Hours Away

We are counting down hours now! We are 48 hours away from when teacup's airplane lands and we get to see her.  I am so beyond excited that I am literally bouncing in my chair as I type this.

I am not sure how much updating I will get done while she is here but maybe some. I just know that both Master and I are thrilled we get to have her here with us. We have lots of fun things planned - vanilla and kinky! yay!

Hierarchy

So doing a follow-up on the question about hierarchy in our relationship because a good friend of mine who is poly brought up something that falls in the hierarchy topic. Really I was answering  the question from an M/s point of view.  In our M/s relationship - I won't be owning her or over her. I won't be ordering her or in charge of her. Teacup and I will be equals.


Unfortunately in our everyday life around vanilla people there is a hierarchy that happens because we can't be out to most people.  So Master's work associates will always view me as his partner/significant others. My parents and Master's will view us as couple and not teacup.  


Recently we were on the phone with teacup and were going to drop something off at one of Master's clients and the client ended up being in her driveway so we couldn't even say goodbye properly to teacup because it caught us of guard as it happened so fast. But it felt very awkward for all of us.  We didn't handle it very well in explaining it either when we called teacup back after leaving the clients.  


There is also a hierarchy that happens because I have been here longer - it just feels off balanced at times. At least I experienced that when I lived in the poly household in Ohio.  I just think it happens and there isn't much I can do about being here long except try to allow her to experience things for herself. That was really hard at times for me to not help or offer advice when I saw someone struggling in the poly household. Where they were maybe struggling with how to just accept an order or such - I wanted to step in and offer advice but sometimes those things - you need to just experience for yourself and put that time into the relationship getting to know Him and what to do...just as I did. 


So there is a hierarchy, but not in the sense where I will be in charge of her or have authority of her.  I might top her at some point. I do have a sadistic streak.  And she is a huge masochist! :)

Day to Day

So thought I would do a little life update as I hadn't done one in a while...


Master and I were all prepared to be traveling across country for his work. It would have given me a chance to see my friends in Ohio - just for a night but at least one evening with them would have been amazing. It also was going to give us a chance to stop off and see teacup too before heading home.  Just a day or two before we were going to leave it got called off. We thought it was going to be reschedule and now...it is pretty much been call off for good.  It really is disappointing for us. Seeing my friends in Ohio would have been so great. I miss them more then I think I let myself realize. It wasn't until I wrote them to say I might be coming that I really let those flood gates open. The thought of sitting and talking with Moni, Angel and everyone else just make me feel so good.  Not to mention it would have meant more time with teacup - because although she is visiting soon we don't live near each other so anytime with her is so good.  So disappointment all around.  


As teacup kept saying everything happens for a reason - well as it does turn out Master started feeling really bad about 2 days before we would have left and he ended up with the most nasty flu/cold which he then passed on to me. I don't think I have ever been so sick. I am still recovering actually.  But there for a while the body aches, fever and headache were really doing a number on me.  So it would have been horrible to be this sick on the road so I guess that is the reason why we didn't go. 


Because I have been so sick that I have gotten off the schedule of things I wanted to get done before teacup visits so the next couple weeks for me will be busy busy. 



kaya wrote a great entry on her blog about  having a threesome with her Master and poly...goes into the great sex and also the feeling around just having someone else in his/their life.  It says so many things that I totally related to and understood from both sides actually from being in her position she is in now  to being the other woman and how that position relates to the couple.  So...taking a little piece from kaya's recent writing about her threesome with her Master....


"I am not immune to the normal fears. Of course I worry about being replaced. I worry that she’s better (easier?) than I am. I wonder why I’m not enough. I worry that he’ll prefer to spend time with her over me because she’s new and shiny and she hasn’t had 8 years of picking up dirty socks to curb her enthusiasm."


I have said something similar over and over. I am the old shoe. And she is the new shoe.* She is shiny and bright and you want to wear her all the time. I am the old shoe that has been cleaning his toilets and picking up his dirty underwear for the last 9 years so being in the relationship day in and day out does make some of the shiny go away.  (*This is the generic version of she and not referring just to teacup)  I am not saying we don't have fun and we have moments of shiny but our moments have moments of mundane day to day life in it. And often with shiny the new relationship energy is there and making everything bright even the mundane.


In my past poly relationships and past relationship with my ex-husband, I never felt replacable.  So this is something that happened with Master. I always have chalked it up to - my relationship with him is different then it has been with anyone else. Really that comes into it very strongly.  Because with him everything changed on how I function within a relationship.  



The other night Master and I stayed up all night having a discussion turned argument turned discussion about something that actually in the end revealed a key point of my internal dialog - why I have these particular little tapes that play that tell me I am replaceable. I have a fear of being replaced by teacup and all the logical and rational thought I throw it - doesn't really calm those feelings down much. These feelings really didn't come out strong until her but I remember when we started this path I did have the nagging feelings inside that said that I could be replaced. Now I figured out the underlying reasons for some of the feelings a while back but it was really the other night that Master and I figured out the bottom line where it all steams from. It isn't pretty.  It isn't something I am going to discuss here so sorry for eluding to it but not saying it but just the way it goes....the reason I am talking about it because I had fears that after we told teacup about it that she wouldn't want to be with us.  She of course handled with grace and understanding that she always seems to have in abundance....she accepted it and was very supportive in doing anything she can to help me get through this.  I am very thankful we found someone who is such an amazing person inside and out. So kind and caring - I love and adore her. I can't wait until she is here. 

Rehash

* I have a new therapist as my previous one left the office I go to so I had to start seeing a new one.  It has been stressful but I do like her and she is open minded. I really worried  about her not being accepting of the poly or some things in my life. I do think she would have a problem with the M/s - just like I thought my last therapist would have too but the poly she is completely fine with. 


* She and I are going to be rehashing some things I am not looking forward to rehashing. I really feel I have dealt with a lot of things but looking at my history I can see how those times in my life are a direct link to my self-esteem and body image issues. So it makes sense to rehash them - just not looking forward to what it will bring up. 


* 10 years ago I closed the escort agency. WOW 10 years? It doesn't seem that long ago really. Last Sunday evening teacup was mentioning she was going to watch the Grammy's and then my odd associate with the Grammy's came up. Probably the last time I watched the Grammy's also...the night of the Grammy's 2002 there was a teaser for the news and it flashed the logo to my escort agency. When I watched the news, it was talking about the business of escort agencies being online. It showed my website with blurred out photos of the girls. It was pretty damn scary and at the same time it freed me of a lot of stress as I hadn't been having fun with running the agency part anymore. So it made my decision to close it pretty simple. 

* I got to chat on the phone with a good friend last Thursday and it was so good to hear voice and chat with her.  She is so happy and I am so thrilled for her. 


* February 1st - Master and I celebrated 9 years together. We had a pretty low key day as I got sick after going out for breakfast.  It really seems like it hasn't been 9 years, but of course I am so happy that I have spent 9 years with an amazing Man.  I am thrilled that after all this time we still walk this path and yes we have struggles still but we still have the foundation.  I love that we have strength in our relationship. 


* My doctor took me off of one of my meds. I actually am down to just a few meds now. Anyway...my one med that my doctor took me off of was for my sciatica. I was okay for 2 weeks being off of it but the last few days I am having problems. But I have to say his reasons for taking me off of them - a symptom it caused - is gone so he was right about it. Just not sure how to live with the pain I am starting to be in and if it gets worse I won't be able to walk like last time. I have a follow up appointment with him so I will discuss it with him. I mean really I would like to not be on it but I also want to be able to walk. 


* Since teacup now has her gift...I can talk about this...Master and I went to a paint your own pottery place to paint teacup - a teacup and saucer for her birthday. It was so much fun! We were really obsessing of course because we wanted it perfect for her but the afternoon was a lot of fun. We really want to go back and make something for ourselves. It really wasn't a bad price either. They just charge for the piece - no studio fees or glazing costs or anything that is all in the price of the piece. It was a fun afternoon date!


* teacup booked her plane ticket to come visit us.  yay! Counting down days!


* I think that is about all that is going on with me right now.

Meeting Teacup

It is kind of odd how things have kind of happened with teacup.  It just feels so right and natural.  From the first exchanges to all the moments to now....all have felt right which I know sounds so cliche but it is true.  Before we left for Christmas vacation, I did a post saying I was excited about poly and all these things are odd because in the time we have been exploring poly - it just hasn't happened that way. We have had some things that were nice, felt good, but nothing was really what I would call right to me.

Our initial travel plans to visit my family for Christmas - we discussed flying but as I started checking and watching plane prices go up and up. We realized it was going out of our range so we decided to do a road trip. We love road trips but doing a road trip gave us another thing to look forward too also - and that was we could actually take time to meet teacup. Our initial plans had been to have our first meeting in the new year but meeting her sooner worked for all of us - as we were all excited to meet!

Because it happened fast and some work plans got thrown in the mix Master and I didn't really have a chance to sit down before we went on our road trip to talk about expectations of a first meeting or those of teacups to make sure we were all on the same page. We kind of had to do it in parts along the way.  At least the road always allows for Master and I to have good talks. Master had teacup write out her expectations so we could discuss those and then unfortunately not all 3 of us could talk about it at the same time but he was going to be able to talk to teacup about our talks.

I am a person that at times has to talk about something - the same thing over and over and over and over - rehashing because maybe something isn't being expressed.  I mean it all might sound good in words on the outside but sometimes on the inside my anxieties, insecurities or emotions might be a little off balanced and need some work so saying the same things out-loud over and over and over will help me sort out the inside junk.  Also at times I need to say the same thing over and over and over again because there is that stuff inside that needs to come out and be expressed but I am either having problems expressing it or just even recognizing it in the first place so rehashing the same thing over and over and over helps me recognize and express what is going on inside.  I can tell you because of the rush of work, getting things ready for our trip, the time with family and such - I didn't get to rehash things like I needed so some things got glossed over without recognizing some expectations I had going on that I didn't see upfront.

But overall we did exceptionally well.  Really now several weeks later - looking at it I am amazed that without all the things we didn't talk about - that it did go as smooth for a first meeting such as it.

 So....our meeting....

Teacup arrived at our designated meeting place - the hotel parking lot - before us.  When we pulled in, Master said right away he saw her sitting in her car, really I was nervous but not as nervous as I thought I would be.  We parked next to her and all got out and did hugs. My first thoughts were how pretty teacup is - beautiful eyes that sparkle when she smiles.  We decided on a place to go to lunch  and just get some of the nerves out of the way.

Teacup ordered soup. I had so wanted to order soup too but my first thought was I would spill it on myself and I didn't want to do that when I am just meeting her for the first time.  After she ordered she expressed the same, concern out-loud. I had already ordered but it just made me smile that we were going through similar anxieties.

After lunch we went back to the hotel, checked in and then spent the afternoon talking.  We talked about poly issues - such as if this were to work into a long-term relationship how would it make her feel not being viewed as Master's girlfriend  to local friends and family - as I am viewed (although neither of us are his girlfriend as we don't have the equality going on in our relationships that would be in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship).  But being viewed as a friend.  We discussed many topics and possible issues and just all sort of things while laughing in between.  It was just fun to talk and laugh with her.  It felt good sitting there hanging out.

The hours slipped passed quickly and soon it was approaching dinner time so we opted to just go pick up pizza to bring back to the room.  More talking with pizza. Soon after dinner Master and teacup moved to the adjoining bedroom of our suite as I took care of Domestic Servitude business online in the outer room.

So a background on something with me....with men sex is sex.  I can have a connection with men and have sex with them but most of the time it can just be fun sex with a man and nothing more.  But with women for me....I have to build friendship first and that connection moves to intimacy. Just moving to sex or anything sexual or really intimate such as kissing is hard for me without having that connection in place. Now Master and teacup had much more of an opportunity before our meeting to get to know each other then her and I. So although I felt like we were building a good foundation - we really got along from the first emails, chat and such - I still wasn't to a place of "oh yes lets have sex."  Because also - a lot of that is an in-person thing for me with a woman.  But we kind of all agreed if things felt good we would move into the sexual arena.  Well.... things felt good but I was still not sure I was ready to move there. I knew I wanted to kiss her. I knew that without a doubt and it is a regret that I didn't kissing her more then I did - because I let the issues that did come up block me.

It started with teacup in the middle while Master and I touched her. He was sadistic and I was soft and tender. Master could have been more sadistic with her but I was slightly freaking out - that he was being sadistic with this person who until she met us - was vanilla.  I had a few visions of her having regrets later if he was too rough or sadistic.  This was our first threesome so it was kind of surreal watching Master being sadistic with her - it turned me on to see him touch her and see her reactions but I did as I say have little worries of "oh no he might scare her off with the SM."  But in the end after we all discussed it later - he could have gone further and she would have been PERFECTLY fine with that.  :)

On the same line of thinking she did the same thing with me when he did some breath play on me she worried he might be taking it too far but really he was holding back with me too - as to not scare her.   Discussing it after though really was good for all of us and good learning for us all to see where were at in the pain/play and what we want.  Now I know where her mindset is on the SM - and see that she is a masochist!

So we played with her in the middle and then Master was in the middle and us girls ravished him for a bit before we tried to get some sleep.

There were a couple issues that came up. It was hard that they happened but good we talked about them. It was hard to talk about them and I know I was having problem communicating - my feelings in the situation but we did get them talked through.

In the morning we had some more talking through the issues before getting ready to go pack up and go to breakfast.  After breakfast, we found a park and took some photos of all 3 of us together.  We had tearful goodbyes but with good plans to look forward to our next meeting when teacup comes to visit us.  Because the trip overall did solidify that we all really do care for each other so much that we want to keep moving forward with this relationship.  Everything felt really good together even the hiccups confirmed that because of how we communicated after the issues - felt so good.

I can't wait for teacup to come and spend time with us here in Colorado. To spend time hanging out, making dinner with me, being able to show her our beautiful state, see her explore SM with Master, see how our intimate relationship grows and just every little thing - seems so exciting to think about with her here with us.

Excited about Poly

Master started talking to a woman on an online social network.   He hadn't told me about her at first because of meeting her on a site where we are known by our vanilla friends/family so put her in the vanilla column. He needs M/s in his life so being with someone who won't be his slave isn't an option for him.  But he was flirting with her and enjoying her company still. So eventually they admitted feelings for each other and Master went for it - he outed us. She didn't get scared off - which is what he figured would happen. She was actually intrigued. 

You know there is a mental list I have of things I view as poly-minded. So far not  many people we have met check things off that list - even though they say they are poly-minded. But this woman did right away. It was amazing to me someone who knew nothing BDSM and Poly was really coming into it with more acceptance and understanding of everything then some people who say they are kinky or poly. 

Anyway - she and I started exchanging emails and really get along. It thrilled me because the first time in this journey - I really felt comfortable and like wow this person feels right. It just feels different with her. 

Now I am totally realistic that we haven't met face to face or had day to day interactions - and those  things make everything different. But all this is more positive then it has been before.   I look forward to getting to know her face to face too.  We have started planning for a visit - either us to her or her to us.  The first moment of talking about a visit - made me so excited. Like bouncy excited - I can't wait to meet her, hang out with her,  and get to know her even better. 

I just wanted to get all that out as I have been excited about it.