His Hands

I love Master. I pretty much worship him.  I can't imagine being with anyone else.  I get obsessed with certain things about him every so often.  Today we were traveling to a little town near us and I kept staring at his hands.

I love his hands.
I love feeling his spankings as he is a drummer and drummers make the best spankers.
I love how his hand wraps around my wrist, guiding me, and watching me become demure and pliable under that one act.
I love his hands wrapping in my hair and shoving me down to my knees to suck his cock, holding me in place, choking and then setting the tempo to his desire.
I love that he pushes and pulls my body into position - to please him, to writh for him, to entertain him, to amuse him as I struggle against his grip.
I love to feel his hands sliding down the side of my face and smiling at me with love, affection, passion.
I love that the next moment he takes his hands and shoves me against the wall
I love that I see the sadist looking back at me as he wraps his hand around my throat.
I love the feeling his hands on my body and knowing they claim me as his and only his.
I love that he takes me in any way he desires - by probing, grabbing, slapping, shoving, pinning, plundering, reducing me to whatever he wishes.
I love when he twists my hair into his fist and growls in my ear.
I love that he grips and probes my body with strength and ownership.
I love feeling his hand slapping my face over and over so violently that takes my breath away.
I love his grip around my throat, pinching my nose closed, covering my mouth - restricting my breath making me breath only for him.
I love when he holds me down, digging his fingers into my flesh that leave bruises and show me where I belong.
I love to when he uses his hands to make me suffer and cry tears for him.
I love feeling his hands slapping, punching, shoving, grabbing, twisting, pinching, clawing, choking, beating, stroking, caressing, soothing - all things that touch me and claim me as his property.
Damn I love him and his beautiful strong hands that torment me and love me all at once.

Master's Moods

There is a thread on FetLife about how slaves pick up and react to their Owner's moods. This has always been a problem for me with Master. When he didn't have his own business and worked outside the home, his hours were insane and he was always stressed so he would come home cranky quite a bit and whatever he was feeling quickly became how I felt too. It was hard for me to not to take his moods personally too. I often felt as though he was mad at me even though logically I knew it was his job. But his demeanor along with the mood just made it feel like he was mad at me. So it was hard for me to shake off.

At one point I started to try be so cheerful and happy that it would help his mood but it didn't usually help his mood. And just frustrated me and made me cranky too. I only found 2 things that helped make get him out of that mood but both are hard to accomplish when he is cranky. It took a lot of clever and cunning work on my part and timing - timing had to perfect - and that was to make him laugh. And I am not a funny person. I just don't make people laugh so it takes lot thought on my part and timing to get it done right. And when Master is mad not a lot of things seem funny to him so again takes just the right things to make him laugh. And the other thing that will work but again timing has to be right is to coax him out of his pants so I can give him a blowjob. A blowjob does wonders for his mood. :)

Now that he works at home - he is cranky less often but when he is, I am still a sponge soaking up his mood. He gets up before me and if I get up in a good mood and he is in bad mood - it can ruin my whole day even if he gets in a better mood by the end of the day. I have had depression on and off my whole life and unfortunately sometimes that mood can make me sink. I just get really spiraling into it. And again even though he might get out of the mood - doesn't mean I do. I just have trouble pulling myself out at times.

We also have to add in that we are in a poly relationship because it of course works that if he is having problems in his other relationship that can bleed into ours. And that is hard to deal when he becomes distracted and moody because of it. And vice versa - he and I are having a problem and it bleeds to them. And is distracted and moody with her. So it becomes a chain reaction.

I think it common that those in relationships feel the moods of others in the relationship. I know that Master at times feels my moods too. For us though we try to be open and clear about what we are feeling so that the other person knows it isn't there stuff. Master will tell me that he isn't mad at me that he is having a bad day with work things and that helps me not soak those emotions up as much. Or I just ask what is going on to see if I can help and then help and if not it helps me take a step back from it. Of course it doesn't always work as I said above I have a history of depression so I can get caught into the spiral of emotions. But trying is what matters. And keep trying is what matters. And sometimes it works.

Getting By

I pretty much just getting by each day. Lots of tears and sadness. I have done things like reorganized my whole studio - going through every box and bin and if you had ever been in my studio you know this was a tedious job. But I just needed it. I needed something to just focus on instead of letting myself get to caught in feelings and thoughts.

While cleaning, I am watching old movies. I am having a problem watching current or more modern movies. The old movies seem to comfort me. Watched many times over: North by Northwest, To Catch a Thief, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Barefoot in the Park, Roman Holiday, Casablanca, Mrs. Miniver, Gigi, An American in Paris and a few other. I have them going almost always. I need the noise.

Master had to go to Austin for business several weeks ago. I am extremely envious that he had a chance to spend 2 evenings with a good friend. But I am glad that he such a nice time talking with a like minded person. We don't have a community here so most of our interaction with kinky people is online. So chatting in person with someone was very refreshing to him. And especially someone who really gets us. So I am happy that he had that chance and especially with this friend. He came home really refreshed in his conversations and I remember that feeling when I lived in Ohio. Especially when I lived with Bill and Angel. We always had good lifestyle talks.

As I said at the beginning...I am just trying to get by day by day. I have good moments. I have down moments.

Such as the other day a little thing sent me into tears. I was writing a card out to my Aunt and I opened my computer document with my addresses and it had my Uncle's name and my Aunt's....and I changed it to just my Aunt's name. And it was hard.

I also had another loss. My former Master died within 10 days of my Uncle and that has left me, of course, with a kind of roller coaster of emotions.

But some good things....I contacted someone who was involved with him and I - to let her know as I felt she would want to know. We hadn't talked in quite a while and it was good to catch up and really have a good heart to heart. And we both agreed that we are very thankful to him for introducing us and helping create the relationship between us. I feel the same about all my Ohio peeps too - if I hadn't been involved with him - I would have never met them.

Thank you to everyone who has commented, emailed, left messages, sent cards and just been reaching out to me....I appreciate it so much. I am very blessed to have so me many kind and caring people in my life.

Spinning

I have had a lot of inquires if everything is okay. And it is okay. I guess I mean I am dealing with things the best I can right now. I am dealing with a TON of family issues. I went to Minnesota to see my Uncle as his cancer is so aggressive. When I came back, I had to deal with some family drama from family in Minnesota. And then Master's Dad's cancer has changed - maybe for the worse. We still are quite clear on that. We also have 2 local friends dealing with cancer. One that really helped/pushed Master to start his business. And the other is a former coworker of Master's - who is giving up her fight with cancer. We also have a lot of work projects. So quite a lot going on that is making it much to busy for me to sit down and write here.

But a good thing I want to write about....

Master. He has been absolutely amazing. He is going through his own family health issues yet he has been a rock for me and my family issues. When I come back from my upcoming trip, he will leave on a business trip. So April we will have seen each other about 12 days. And I know that is hard on both of us. But I am really grateful to Master as looking around the house you can tell I haven't been here much. And he is very tolerant and understanding of the situation. I am so blessed to have someone that really supports me. I love you Master!

Fetish

I have a cold so not online much except for work. But I thought I would at least post my edited response to a question on FetLife about having a genuine fetish and serving that fetish. Edited to make sense without the actual questions here.

I had never met someone who fit the dictionary definition of having a fetish until Master. Emotionally I can let myself get really stressed out about that he likes the fetish and not me. But I try not to go there and I know when he thinks of the fetishes he thinks of me with them. And he is doing it to me so that helps me not spiral out with negative thoughts. And he is really good about giving me reassurances also that he is attracted to me.

I am lucky that in serving that fetish I don't get burnt out from it. Or need a break from it because he has several fetishes. He has to have at least one of those the fetishes in play to get him to orgasm but he can at least mix it up between them. And he adds and changes things up sometimes but always includes one or more of the fetishes with it.

I have problems with a couple of Master's fetishes. It is something we work with at times. But another fetish he really was great on getting me to like it and now it even is something I crave and get turned on just thinking about it. And that is hoods. He really just slowly worked me up to wearing a full hood. Started me with an open face one and then kept moving up and more time in them to finally get to the point of craving them and being turned on by them.

I mentioned to Master the thread last night and asked him about a post he had started on it and if he had ever posted it. He hadn't so he finished that up and posted it today. So check out Master's post on having fetishes.

Happiness is....

Tonight I was making dinner and I heard Master on the phone with someone he has known a long time but now that we are moving in the poly direction is someone who could possibly be a good fit. Anyway, he was very happy on the phone and I could hear him flirt every once in a while - the tone in his voice just gives it away for me. It made me all happy inside just hearing it. I mean warm gooey feelings that were welling up inside me that I couldn't contain it. So I stopped what I was doing and ran into twitter about it. Yes twitter. I just wanted to get one little thing out so I could capture that warm feeling...I typed on twitter: "Happiness is listening to M flirt with another girl on the phone."

Master saw me rush past his office so beeped me on IM to see if I was okay. I replied yes and to check out twitter to see why I rushed past his office. And of course after reading it, he couldn't wait to embarrass me about it. He called me in to his office and made me stand there while he explained to the girl he was on the phone with what I had done. When I tried to move or hide he would make me stop. I was turning about a million shades of red and wanted to hide. But Master was having too much fun watching me squirm. And it in turn made her blush too. So he had both of us right where he wanted us.

So yes happiness is hearing Master on the phone flirting.

Him

From Kindlings: What is your favorite thing about the person you serve?

Oh one thing...not going to do that. I need more then one thing.

He is intelligent. I like having discussions with him. I enjoy his perspective and that he teaches me new things!


He is a very generous man. He gives so much to his friends, family and clients. Right now he is working on a project and he is giving them so much more then they paid for because if he didn't it wouldn't feel right to him. He wants them to have the BEST quality and he is giving them that. He enjoys giving gifts just as much as I do and so buys friends and family gifts because he wants too remind them how special they are to him.


He has an amazing amount of patience. His Mom got a camera last year and every time he has the opportunity he takes time to teach her new things about it. It makes her feel so good to learn those things and that he just gives her that one on one time. He also taught his parents to use a computer. They had never touched one before but at 70 years old now are able to do more things then some of the clients I design websites for. It required a lot of patience and he gave them that always.


He is my Daddy. Which to me means....that he makes me feel safe and loved. He allows me to play and have fun with dolls and toys. He takes care of me when I am sick. When I am tired, he tucks me into bed and gives me kisses.


He is sadistic! Oh yeah I had to include that right? I am kinky! He has incredible hands that hurt me in delicious ways! I am a lucky girl!

My list could go on and on. I just feel very priveledged to be owned by Him and serve Him! I love YOU, Master!

Christmas Cards

Maintaining friendships ... and do holiday cards help?

I am not sure they help a lot but I do enjoy doing them and getting them. It lets me catch up with people that I might think of throughout the year but don't really get a chance to talk to because of time or distance. So I guess that is a form of maintenance just not something that would work long term if that is the only maintenance that is being done.

So speaking of holiday cards that is the number 1 thing on my holiday to-do list after Master's parents leave. I need to finish up labels and such for those and also help Master get his business ones ready to go out too.

We bought some very pretty cards and I can't wait to send them out. I love variety. I go through the cards and pick which one I want for each person. Maybe it fits them with the image or the words or maybe it says something I know will remind them of us. Like a secret language between friends that they can look, read or some of both and see us...us - Master and I or us as in all of us as friends or family.

Not sure I am making much sense tonight as I am just so tired. I am glad Master's parents were able to visit him on his birthday but it is very trying and tiring. We had a nice day though for Master's birthday and that is what most important to me.

Birthday Wishes....

Happy Birthday Master! I hope YOUR DAY is all you could wish for....well all you could wish for with your parents being here. I know there is more you would like...but without them here :)

I am truly happy you came into this world. You are an amazing man....I don't have words to capture all I would like to say....just know I love you very much and very proud to be YOURS.

Birthday Love

Master left this message on my livejournal on my birthday isn't it just the best! I melted into a puddle reading his beautiful words.

From danae's M: I wanted to take a brief moment to share my joy in celebrating danae's birthday today!! Words always seem to inadequately describe how I feel about danae and the joy that she brings to My life and to the friends she has around her.. She's so incredibly special and I'm forever grateful to be apart of her life.. Her artistic passion, her celebration of life and living each day to its fullest is coupled with her steadfast dedication and glowing personality with one of the best laughs I've ever heard.. Her beauty never ceases to amaze Me as I constantly find Myself in complete awe of how she looks.. Indeed, I am FAR more lucky to be apart of her life - than the other way around!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART!
I love you so very much!

Grrr

We are done with West Wing we are watching Angel. The other night we started an episode that made me get mad and yell at the tv saying that Joss is a mean mean man for not letting us be happy. It's the last episode with Doyle. Master said you need to do a grr and so I did. And he started laughing so hard. It was one of those laughs I thought he might start crying he was laughing so hard. It was nice to make him laugh like that.

YAY YAY YAY!

Master called and is leaving in just a few minutes so that means he will be home around 4:00/4:30 instead of 9:30/10pm

Which means I can plan a few other surprises for him....like a candlelight dinner and dressed differently since he won't be coming home and collapsing into bed right away. Woohoo!

Maybe I should make bread....hmm what else what else....dinner needs to change now too....get the wine chilling.....okay I need to get busy now!

It's FRIDAY! yay!

Master comes home tonight!

It will be late but I am just happy he will be home! He has to go back just for a few days next week so I will be going with him.

The house is clean. I have to wash the kitchen floor though and I might change the sheets on the bed even though I just changed them Tuesday. Oh and I need new towels out in the bathrooms.

I would really love to know what mop people us in their homes? Do you like your mop?

I HATE the mop. I do better getting on my hands and knees and washing the floor but my knees really do have problems taking that.

I am trying to decide if I should make some brownies or something for Master. Tomorrow he has fantasy football draft so I know he will be sitting at his computer for most of the day. I have stuff for nachos to be made and maybe brownies would be good as they are his favorite. While I was out the other day, I got him a little present too (which was a very odd experience being out and buying something without asking - I knew he would be okay with me buying what I was though since it was just a few little things) I also got a couple more things that I am going to save for stocking stuffers - my first purchases for the holidays. The same day I called him while he was out shopping. I said, "what are you shopping for?" And he said "nothing" which is code for "it is something for you." Later he told me that he was getting something for me.

I am SO excited he will be home! yay! yay! Doing a little dance in my chair right now! Little tingles of happiness!

I started in on a topic that I have been thinking about quite a bit this week....and that is why I have such dark heavy SM thoughts when Master is out of town. But I started rambling and not making much sense so cutting it from the entry but I did save it so I can maybe look at it later this afternoon or this weekend.

Well I am going to go do my daily chores and the few extra I want to do...oh and make brownies. Now wondering if I should go get some ice cream and hot fudge. Brownie sundaes are one of Master's favorite desserts. I will ponder that while doing my chores.

Common Life

I have been surprised that to be so alone in my thoughts I haven't really spiraled into tangents or bad places. Okay well I have had some introspective ponderings but nothing that just makes me spin. Maybe having a week long migraine helped me not go out of control. For the most part I have just kind of been going through motions of daily life - doing daily chores, preparing some food for freezer meals, making icons, doing emails, playing with the cats, reading but my brain is really turned off this time.

So my ponderings....I feel very different about my service to Master then I did a year ago. I think it has become a part of my life and it isn't very mindful. It is just so common to me that my muscles and brain know what and where to go. And on some things I don't think that is a bad thing but for more things I would like it to be a little more feeling attached to the action.

I am missing Master like crazy. And can't wait until he gets home so I can have some hugs and kisses!

As I have said in another post I have a thing for Dress shirts and ties...so everyday I ask Master what he is wearing! I feel like a horny net geek! Because I really do think about him in dressed in the shirt and tie he tells me he is wearing while I masturbate. Yes I am a silly girl!

hmmm what else...

I watched The Passion of Ayn Rand last night. I have read Ayn Rand's books and some essays on her philosophies but never about her life. This movie is based on a book by someone who was very close to her for a long while. And I am surprised a little bit by it all. But intrigued too. I ended up looking up all the main characters name and they have websites and read more about what happened. It was all very interesting. I would like to read the book the movie was based on as well as another book that was written about the same time period.

Quote from the movie and it is a partial real quote from what Ayn really said...

"

To be happy is the moral purpose of your life...the man must have the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself and in her surrender is his happiness...and the woman must worship the hero.

"

The sex between her and Nathan seems a little umm rough. And there is a point at the beginning of the movie where she says to her husband "must you always be gentle and ask my permission" and he rips her dress from her.

I never read

The Fountainhead

but really liked Atlas Shrugged. So adding

The Fountainhead

to my reading list. One of my best therapists was named after a character in Atlas Shrugged. She actually didn't like that she was though. She didn't like the character. I was one of the few people that asked her if she was named after the character - it surprised her when I asked.

I am reading a book that is actually kind of scaring me. I love vampire books but this one hasn't even really shown me a vampire but the talk of Dracula - the fear that the author is portraying I can really feel. And after I read a few chapters I end up having to read my art magazines for a little bit to shake the feelings. I can't stop reading it but probably not the book to be reading while Master is out of town and I am alone in the house with creaks. The book is

The Historian

by Elizabeth Kostova.

I am going to go change out laundry and vacuum. I have 2 posts started one my period, sex and sm. And then the other about being lower in the household then the kitty cats - that is because of a question kaya asked me over on her journal.

His Birthday

Today was Master's birthday so we just spent the day together relaxing...a little morning fun followed by breakfast and then really the day was mostly spent snuggled up on the couch watching movies/dvds. We watched the last episode (disc 1) of Colonial House, Transporter 2 and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and about to go watch an episode or two of Alias. We also did a little shopping and had dinner out. I had Seafood Alfredo that I am sure went straight to my hips and thighs with all its creamy goodness. At home tonight then I made brownie sundaes complete with candles for Master to make a wish. Master said he had a great birthday. And that makes me happy. I wanted his day to be wonderful.

Birthday Wishes....

Master, I don't have the words to adequately describe how awe-inspiring and remarkable you are...so I hope today we celebrate YOU...the wonderfully fabulous YOU in away that will show you. I love you very much! Happy Birthday Master!

Life Update and Gratitude Tuesday...

Still battling depression. I am really tired - but having insomnia. At 3am I was cleaning the bathroom and then cleaned the kitchen after that. I feel burnt out and know I am missing things. I am not happy about that. I have lists that I make they just get put in a pile with other lists not really addressed as I can't get to it all. Truly I have a list in my inbox from last week that I didn't even have time to open/do so it is still sitting there unread. I have lists all over the place and either I am so busy that I can't get to them or I forget about the list. I feel like I am juggling all these ball and now I am standing there watching them fall and trying to decide what ball to try to catch first. And so I might get in my grasp a few but the rest are scattered all over.

On top of that I was starting to get a cold and then hit the airborne heavy and so far so good....it has back off! So that was a good thing.

Speaking of good things....

Ceeci started Gratitude Tuesday...so since this is my first one I will be starting with "A"



~ Air: When I was cleaning the bathroom at 3am - I ended up using some bleach and so I became very appreciative of air as bleach even in little amounts doesn't like my asthma

~ Airborne: That seems to have kept my cold from getting worse.

~ Art: doing and seeing art

~ Antiques, Architecture, Archeology: Each thing has a piece of history...each has a story. And also at the time it is today and present. Which made me think of a quote: "Art is not a treasure in the past or an importation from another land, but part of the present life of all living and creating peoples." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt

~ Aquafina: I have been going through a lot of bottle water lately...the colder the better

~ Anal sex: decided to do one naughty one....because oh how I like anal sex

~ Apple: It is starting to get into that season when apples with peanut butter are such a great snack

~ Apple Cider: I really enjoyed hot apple cider in the fall.

~ Autumn: It is almost upon us. I love the crisp, cool air. I love the colors of leaves...the changing of the seasons. So beautiful.

~ Age: I am going to be 39 in a month and although I am feeling down about it...I really should be grateful for each birthday and day of life I get.

~ Acid free papers: Use them in art so that they don't fade and make the things on them change colors or deteriorate.

~ Asiago Cheese - I just like the flavor so much!

~ Archives: right now I am thinking of archives of lj - I couldn't remember when something happened and I just went back in my archives and found it. So right now it is my memory and thankful for it.

~ Acceptance: It is just something that I am grateful to those that do accept me.

~ Acknowledgment: Kind of goes with the one above for me as today I was at least acknowledge in something by Mom that I needed to hear. It wasn't perfect but it was better then it has been in the past. So I am grateful for that.

So that is it for this weeks Gratitude Tuesday!

On with my life update....

Master is healing. He is on crutches still but he is able to get around a little more...put more weight on it...bend it more and more. I am glad he is healing. He has been busy now that he can move around more - he is catching up on work. My Grandmother is turning 90 and so he is doing a video for her birthday party. He is the BESTEST Daddy!

So what else to write....

Food equals comfort...

Saturday I made a concoction for dinner that turned out very well - a steak cut into chunks, can of diced tomatoes with juice, 1 cup of beef broth, garlic, onions, green beans, great northern beans with some black pepper and a little oregano thrown into the crockpot and cooked all day. I stirred in some rice at the end. It was very yummy and made the house smell amazing.

Last night I made balsamic roasted chicken but I don't feel it was very flavorful. Master loved it and raved about several times throughout the evening. But I was a little ehh on it. I couldn't taste the balsamic at all.

Tonight I made nachos and they were so good! I think we both had been craving them.

Not much else going on....working. I have a pretty big project to finish before we head out of town the first week of October. And then one other appointment to do also.

Sometimes I feel a little fragile

Okay so I haven't been posting very regularly. Monday Master slipped and dislocated his knee and so I have been taking care of him. He is in a lot of pain and I am really worried about him. I also have been working lots...I finished up a big project this week. So glad it is done! But I have started working on the next project.

And I am down/sad right now and just trying to deal with all my feelings. I would just like to curl up in bed and sleep for a while as I have been going through lots of insomnia lately. I owe several people emails (Jim that includes you - I did get yours) but my concentration lately sucks and when it is working I work.

Master and I have watched quite a few movies this week while he has been having to take it easy. A few on the list: Walk the Line, Timeline, Firewall, Robots, The Jacket, Capote, The Thomas Crown Affair (new one with the old probably to be watched Sunday night). I don't have cable in my studio but I have a dvd player so if I don't have music on I have a dvd playing so I have been going through lots of movies lately - I like the noise while I work. It is kind of good because I am going through lots of movies that we have maybe watched a few times but not more. So in the last couple of months I have watched/listened the Memoirs of a Geisha, Mona Lisa Smile, Spy Game, Sneakers, Frida, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Swordfish, Serenity, Serendipity, Sweet Home Alabama, Almost Famous, Matrix Trilogy, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (extended versions), Bourne Identity and Bourne Supremacy, Kate and Leopold, X-Men, X-Men 2, Hidalgo, When Harry met Sally, The Remains of the Day, Meet Joe Black and The Last Samurai -- and I am sure I am missing some. Some sitting in my pile to watch: Gosford Park, 2 Days in the Valley, The Piano, A Beautiful Mind, The Phantom of the Opera, Enemy of the State, The Notebook, and A Field of Dreams. And we still have more I could go through and watch too.

Not much else going on...or more else for me to say at the moment.

Question 8 - to the ask me ANYTHING post

From my Ask me ANYTHING post: If you could give one piece of advice to new D/s couples what would that be?

Only one?

Really that main thing that comes to mind is...that just because you are now doing a form of BDSM - the vanilla things are not suddenly transformed into something more...more exciting, titillating, erotic, sexy and so on. Paying the bills is just paying the bills. Washing the dishes is just washing the dishes.

So my advice would be not to expect reality to change into a wonderful fantasy we read about in smut. Yes we all go through that honeymoon period where all seems to be transformed, but life does intervene and it is OKAY. It doesn't mean that you are suddenly vanilla just because you do vanilla things.

Just keep the foundation in mind which reminds me of something I wrote for a workshop Master and I did at SMARTfest.

This is part 4 of 4 (Link to other all 4 parts - remember this was a speech made into essays so might read like talking to an audience and that is because we were)

A guide to a living a D/s or M/s relationship within Reality:

1) Be honest

Be honest about your wants, needs, things that are grating on your nerves, little pieces of information about your partners that drive you nuts. Be honest how you feel and what you are thinking. Be respectful to each other when expressing all these honest feelings. This goes for both dominant and submissive.

2) Take things at one's own pace and moving forward only when it feels right.

You don't need to speed through things. If you have faith in your goals and foundation then you will get there when it is right. And just because you are going slow does not mean you are not in an D/s or M/s relationship.

3) Have great sex and great SM in your relationship.

We hope you all know how to do this one. If you are not having great sex and great SM, figure out why not and fix it. If it is just not enough time - make time. If it means putting off the laundry for an hour or taking a quickie at lunch while kids are at school then MAKE it happen! (That is if your relationship involves sex and SM)

4) Do not compromise the basic structure and dynamic.

This one - to us - is big for keeping things set in reality. We are sons/daughters, friends, fathers/mothers, husbands/wives, employees and we can still have our D/s dynamic and be all those things. We don't have to say, "oh now I am vanilla and now I am doing D/s." Don't let the activities you do - such as protocols or SM - rule your dynamic. Let the foundation rule your dynamic. If you make D/s a part of your foundation and don't compromise that dynamic then you can keep your D/s set in reality.

5) Have a common commitment to the relationship.

This is what makes D/s and M/s relationships work. If you and your Dominant/submissive are striving towards the same goal with the same intensity, faith and degree of commitment, then you will make it work within reality.

One last thing again...The goal in creating a solid foundation is combining the dominance and submission - intertwining them to make it your lifestyle...your life. It should be woven together so that your daily life can be seen as a D/s or M/s dynamic to you even in the most vanilla of situations. But also don't complicate things by separating aspects and activities in your life as D/s or vanilla. Don't let the activities you do define your relationship. Make your dynamic your life.

Gratitude Friday and Life Update

I am grateful...
1. That I have learned a lot.
2. That life is moving fast right now but with it brings so many wonderful gifts and I am so thankful for all the people that helped get to this point.
3 That I can do it.
4. That things will be okay (I sometimes get nervous on this journey of the business).
5. That I am on a truly amazing journey.

We have just been so busy with work that we haven't had time to do much else. We both have multiple projects for Master's business. We leave to go out of town on Sunday and will be back on Tuesday LATE. We did get a storage unit today! So I will be able to free up some space in the house by moving some things to storage. That means after we get back from our trip - Wednesday, Thursday and Friday will be devoted to cleaning closets and getting things ready for us to move everything all at once to storage. Saturday (7/15) we will move things to storage. Oh and Wednesday Master has a photography shoot to do that I will probably have to help out on. July 17th through the 22nd will be devoted to work and then the week after that I am sure I will go into obsessive cleaning mode as July 28th Master's parents arrive. And after cleaning things out for storage I am sure I will need be needing to do a deep good clean of everything. Master's parents are spending a long weekend with us as Master's going away party from his current job (one he has been at for over 10 years) is on Saturday the 29th. And then August 1 will mark Master's first full-time day of owning his business.

Yay for not trying to do 2 jobs anymore. It is a scary but exciting time. Things right now with the business look like we are going to do great. If anyone needs video production services let us know...we are willing to travel. It's my journal I can plug us right? :)

It is truly amazing to look back at the last several months and see the turn of events. Master developed his passion really just a few months after I moved in to his house. And from there he has been researching, practicing, developing what he hoped would some day become a business. He got to the point he was seeing it come true and he was planning on giving notice this summer - in which I felt he would give his notice and maybe be out of the system in the early fall. And then the death of our friend....in an odd way....propelled him into setting things in motion a lot quicker. I don't like that she died...I sit here crying as I think of it now. But I do know...that she would be thrilled that Master started his business.

Okay so all these good things in my life...and to add to the top of it....I am owned by an amazing man who I love and respect. We have a great M/s relationship. We fit together nicely. So it is amazing journey I am on!