Saturday, May 21, 2011

Master's Moods

There is a thread on FetLife about how slaves pick up and react to their Owner's moods. This has always been a problem for me with Master. When he didn't have his own business and worked outside the home, his hours were insane and he was always stressed so he would come home cranky quite a bit and whatever he was feeling quickly became how I felt too. It was hard for me to not to take his moods personally too. I often felt as though he was mad at me even though logically I knew it was his job. But his demeanor along with the mood just made it feel like he was mad at me. So it was hard for me to shake off.

At one point I started to try be so cheerful and happy that it would help his mood but it didn't usually help his mood. And just frustrated me and made me cranky too. I only found 2 things that helped make get him out of that mood but both are hard to accomplish when he is cranky. It took a lot of clever and cunning work on my part and timing - timing had to perfect - and that was to make him laugh. And I am not a funny person. I just don't make people laugh so it takes lot thought on my part and timing to get it done right. And when Master is mad not a lot of things seem funny to him so again takes just the right things to make him laugh. And the other thing that will work but again timing has to be right is to coax him out of his pants so I can give him a blowjob. A blowjob does wonders for his mood. :)

Now that he works at home - he is cranky less often but when he is, I am still a sponge soaking up his mood. He gets up before me and if I get up in a good mood and he is in bad mood - it can ruin my whole day even if he gets in a better mood by the end of the day. I have had depression on and off my whole life and unfortunately sometimes that mood can make me sink. I just get really spiraling into it. And again even though he might get out of the mood - doesn't mean I do. I just have trouble pulling myself out at times.

We also have to add in that we are in a poly relationship because it of course works that if he is having problems in his other relationship that can bleed into ours. And that is hard to deal when he becomes distracted and moody because of it. And vice versa - he and I are having a problem and it bleeds to them. And is distracted and moody with her. So it becomes a chain reaction.

I think it common that those in relationships feel the moods of others in the relationship. I know that Master at times feels my moods too. For us though we try to be open and clear about what we are feeling so that the other person knows it isn't there stuff. Master will tell me that he isn't mad at me that he is having a bad day with work things and that helps me not soak those emotions up as much. Or I just ask what is going on to see if I can help and then help and if not it helps me take a step back from it. Of course it doesn't always work as I said above I have a history of depression so I can get caught into the spiral of emotions. But trying is what matters. And keep trying is what matters. And sometimes it works.

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