Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Common Life

I have been surprised that to be so alone in my thoughts I haven't really spiraled into tangents or bad places. Okay well I have had some introspective ponderings but nothing that just makes me spin. Maybe having a week long migraine helped me not go out of control. For the most part I have just kind of been going through motions of daily life - doing daily chores, preparing some food for freezer meals, making icons, doing emails, playing with the cats, reading but my brain is really turned off this time.

So my ponderings....I feel very different about my service to Master then I did a year ago. I think it has become a part of my life and it isn't very mindful. It is just so common to me that my muscles and brain know what and where to go. And on some things I don't think that is a bad thing but for more things I would like it to be a little more feeling attached to the action.

I am missing Master like crazy. And can't wait until he gets home so I can have some hugs and kisses!

As I have said in another post I have a thing for Dress shirts and ties...so everyday I ask Master what he is wearing! I feel like a horny net geek! Because I really do think about him in dressed in the shirt and tie he tells me he is wearing while I masturbate. Yes I am a silly girl!

hmmm what else...

I watched The Passion of Ayn Rand last night. I have read Ayn Rand's books and some essays on her philosophies but never about her life. This movie is based on a book by someone who was very close to her for a long while. And I am surprised a little bit by it all. But intrigued too. I ended up looking up all the main characters name and they have websites and read more about what happened. It was all very interesting. I would like to read the book the movie was based on as well as another book that was written about the same time period.

Quote from the movie and it is a partial real quote from what Ayn really said...

To be happy is the moral purpose of your life...the man must have the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself and in her surrender is his happiness...and the woman must worship the hero.

The sex between her and Nathan seems a little umm rough. And there is a point at the beginning of the movie where she says to her husband "must you always be gentle and ask my permission" and he rips her dress from her.

I never read
The Fountainhead
but really liked Atlas Shrugged. So adding
The Fountainhead
to my reading list. One of my best therapists was named after a character in Atlas Shrugged. She actually didn't like that she was though. She didn't like the character. I was one of the few people that asked her if she was named after the character - it surprised her when I asked.

I am reading a book that is actually kind of scaring me. I love vampire books but this one hasn't even really shown me a vampire but the talk of Dracula - the fear that the author is portraying I can really feel. And after I read a few chapters I end up having to read my art magazines for a little bit to shake the feelings. I can't stop reading it but probably not the book to be reading while Master is out of town and I am alone in the house with creaks. The book is
The Historian
by Elizabeth Kostova.

I am going to go change out laundry and vacuum. I have 2 posts started one my period, sex and sm. And then the other about being lower in the household then the kitty cats - that is because of a question kaya asked me over on her journal.


  1. The fountainhead is a very good book. It's one of those books you look back on and you know it changed something in the way you think, but you aren't exactly sure what. I actually read it to write and essay for a scholarship but when I was done I didn't want to put into those boxes to write about it in that way.

  2. Atlas Shrugged was the same way with me...where I felt it made a huge impact on my life but to tell define it in terms...I can't do.


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