Saturday, March 31, 2012

March Q & A: Transitions

From this post: " I was owned by him for 2 years. And then we continued to have a Daddy/little girl relationship and kinky boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship for another 2 years."

Question asked about the post..."I'm really curious about how that works... I've read the debates about whether a slave can leave their owner and whether you can kill a puppy or whatever... so really want to know how this transition happened."

In the M/s relationships I have been in, I needed to be completely open and transparent. There came a time when I realized I wasn't happy serving anymore.  I was burnt out really (which I have a post coming about being burnt out.)  Anyway, he asked me if I was happy and I told him I wasn't happy. The conversation continued of course on what lead me to this and why I wasn't happy but in the end he asked if I would like to request release from being his slave. Because that was how he wanted it - he wanted me to request release and I told him yes I that I did feel I wanted to be released.  We had discussions about it for 3 days. One of the days I remember actually fell on a Carpe Diem meeting (a bdsm group that is not around anymore) and I remember the meeting so vividly. It was about tattoos and play piercings. I know I became very passionate about something being said about permanent markings and everyone was kind of taken aback by my tone and language.  I know I was that way because of the stress of what was going on in the decision to stop our M/s relationship. On that 3rd day of discussions, we ended it. He wanted me happy and hoped I would come back to wanting to be in service to him.

The transition was very difficult. At first we kind of kept our distance from each other - grieving and trying to figure out how it would be with us now - not as Master/slave.  I found myself doing usual things I did for him - without thinking. He was better at not ordering me then I was at not serving. Saying, "yes Master" was really hard for me too as it just came out naturally. So for a while I just trained myself to say, "okay" so that the yes wasn't followed by Master or Sir. Eventually the relationship just worked into this kinky girlfriend/boyfriend type relationship with the added spice of Daddy/little girl.  Daddy/little girl felt very natural for us. I didn't feel tired as little girl and I did as his slave.

Honestly I think that if anything like this happened with Master - I am not sure either of us could function in just a kinky relationship. I think we would naturally gravitate back to a M/s foundation.

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