Thursday, March 26, 2009

March Questions: Before Master

You have been with your Master for 6 years. Were you owned before him? And what was that relationship like? How long were in that relationship? Just give me all the information on it, ok? I know your archives go back further then 6 years, but I haven't had time to get back that far so please forgive me for asking a question I am sure you have went over before.

Now hopefully if I can give a short history...all the way back...

When I was 18, I was first introduced to SM and M/s. I didn't know there were names for it but looking back we clearly had an authority/ownership type dynamic. It wasn't probably the best experience. But I don't regret it either. His name is Don if you run into stories of him in my blog which there are several.

After him, I got involved with my ex-husband and we had I would consider a more traditional type of marriage. I asked him permission before doing many things. I knew my boundaries of what was okay to do without permission and what wasn't. If I were going to make plans with friends, I checked with him first. If I went to Target and saw some cute towels on clearance, I could buy them without checking. There were just some things he didn't want to be bothered with like if I wanted a new shower curtain he was of the opinion that was "a woman's thing" but if I were going to go out and buy a major appliance or piece of furniture he would want to be in on the decision. Like we need more storage in our bedroom so I wanted to get an armoire so he wanted approval on that and went with me. One of my favorite things I did for him was getting up in the morning and ironing his shirt, laying out his clothes, making him breakfast and packing his lunch. It was one of those things I enjoyed doing knowing it helped make his morning easier. We were kinky in the bedroom. I mean we had plain old missionary sex too. But we played with kink too. He tied me to the bed, spit on me, called me names, did breath play and whipped me with hangers, belts, spoons and things around the house. When I was with him, I finally figured out there were words for the type of relationships I seemed to be drawn too. But as soon as I named it - he and I had problems with the dynamic trying to fit into a box of what we read instead of just going along how we had been. We eventually separated. I should state while we were together we did have other problems - one major thing that I will say split us up more then anything but I am know he would disagree.

While separated, I did a long distance relationship with dominant. We met every other month for a long weekend. It gave me enough of a taste of D/s to make me realize I wanted to be owned and serve someone 24/7. And not just on weekends and here and there.

After the LDR, I met Kam online and eventually moved to be with him in his household - the poly household in Ohio. I was owned by him for almost 3 years. And then we continued to have a Daddy/little girl relationship and kinky boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship for another 2 years. We were poly throughout the whole relationship. So anyway I was with him for almost 5 years. I have written quite a bit about the poly relationship. Just click on the poly tag on the side bar.

That relationship is hard to write about for a couple reasons - I know he wouldn't like me writing about it anymore then I have to date....and the other reason personally I just don't feel some things should be shared publicly. But in general...I had many good experiences from it. But at the same time I feel we were a really bad for each other. We had different core beliefs on everything from M/s to politics to just many other things. He had some amazing qualities that of course I was drawn too but again over all we didn't match very well.

I started this journal shortly after I asked for release from being his slave. So after that you will see me trying to flounder through - trying to figure out what I wanted and who I was as person. I went through many short term bad relationship matches. I had some good connections though too but just didn't work into the relationship at the time.

Right before Master contacted me I was in a sadomasochistic relationship. I had been out of town when Master contacted me serving a friend's Owner - which was part of my deal with him basically. I was in service to him during my stay in his home and that is how I was allowed to see my friend - who was his slave. Anyway while there, I did some thinking and knew I was going to need to give up the SM relationship  because he didn't want more than what we had and also I felt he was lying to me. At the time I had been talking to someone online, but we hadn't met and I just didn't feel he was ever going to commit to meeting. So Master contacted me at the right time plus as I have said many times his email to me - was so refreshingly honest that he pretty much won me over in it. I then found out that a mutual friend had told him about me so....made it even better. And as we say....the rest is read about here on my blog.

Please feel free to ask me a question or many!

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