Tuesday, March 03, 2009


Okay I know this is a little backwards being March is question month but I have a question for everyone.

When I lived in the poly household, one odd thing always happened with new people he was interested in...they were nervous, scared and intimidated by me. I have never got it. I don't bite - well you know what I mean. I have actually been told the same thing here...online and in blogosphere people are scared and intimidated by me and I don't get that either. And well there have been other things like I am a snob and other colorful words. But the most common one I hear is that people are intimidated by me.

What is it about me that is intimidating?

I am hoping this isn't come across snotty - I am just wondering. I have heard it for years and I never understand it so finally thought - why not ask. This is also not coming up right at this moment because someone said something. It is just something I have wondered for years and so thought why not ask.

I am shy and after being Master's for 6 years where I have been pretty isolated - I am now extremely shy. In person that shyness sometimes comes across as aloof or snotty but really it is just my shyness. So is that maybe what is coming across here? As I know since being Master's I have become more private - does that make me come across as aloof? Which in turn makes me intimidating?

I would be curious to know why - if I intimidate you - what about me intimidates you?

Feel free to email me or answer anonymously if it makes you feel better about answering. I am going out of town for 3 days so I won't be able to reply or probably even read answer until I get back.


  1. Dear Danae,

    I think that maybe people feel intimidated by you because you seem to be so confident and expert.

    Confident with the idea that you are a slave, you feel that you're born to be a slave, you're happy and feel lucky to be a slave and to be owned by your Master. Even you may have thousands questions in your mind, people don't see it. They can only feel that you have a deep confidence in your situation, in your solid and deep relationship with your Master.

    Expert, because you have more experience in BDSM than most people... people can feel it, and it makes them feel shy and respectful.

    I don't know you, but I feel that you're a shy and modest person, introvert in life and more extrovert on internet, you're not arrogant, and maybe you're not feeling that much confidence.... because you know that nothing is granted for life, especially happiness.

    But people don't see the real you (nor do I). They only see an amazingly perfect slave.

    By the way, let me tell you that I like very much reading your blog.


    Master FaguoZhuren

  2. Hi Danae,

    I don't know you, or why you seem intimidating, because I have only just started reading your blog. But people find me intimidating too. Like you, I am shy and reserved. I'm also very good at what I do. Many people are threatened by me without good reason. It's just the way I come across to them.

    Having said that, I don't believe I prompt the same reaction through my blog. I hope I seem friendlier than I do in person.


  3. Thank you both for the comments here! I appreciate your thoughtful answers. It helped me quite a bit!

    Thank you to everyone that wrote me also! Everyone gave me answers I was seeking.

  4. Cause girl, you got experience! I can't agree more with the first comment. Also, because although you might feel that way, people still think of you as a weird person for wanting to live this way. They associate a whole bunch of things (not necessarily true) with your lifestyle and expect to see a wild, frightened weirdo acting strangely in front of them. But mainly again because of experience, they get intimidated, as they will feel too little in front of you - I would too :)

    All the Best


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