Titling this Poly 1 as this seems to be a theme of many of the questions I got this year so there will several poly posts. Given the poly path that you're starting, what do you consider to be the hardest thing you're going to need to work on for yourself?
Well I just can't narrow it down to one thing as 3 things came to mind (although I am sure there will be other little bumps too)...as I had already thought of this question before.
1. I can see it is going to be hard to watch the other struggle through the struggles I went through and not try to "help." But I can see that the "help" might be taken wrong so as they need to go through it their own way.
2. I do think for the first time in my poly history I am going to feel territorial. I am really going to keep an eye on it as I have never been that way but with Master I can actually feel that might be a problem. I don't think I will have jealously issues but I am going to have issues with - this is something I have done for him for 6 years can I let go of it? Of course I won't be a choice - I will be letting go of it but my feelings just won't dissolve because I accepted reality.
3. Is a really silly thing to me. I think I will be envious or nostalgic of them going through that early relationship stuff again. Not really the new relationship energy...as I will have my own version of that with them. I mean more the dynamic stuff - the M/s - slavery and surrender. I have been here 6 years so I do things without thinking because it is ingrained into my muscle memory n ow and seeing the new girl get that joy that I once had, I believe is going to make me feel a little sad, envious - just nostalgic for it again. It isn't that I don't get joy from my slavery - I probably wouldn't be in this type of relationship if I didn't get something from it. But the feelings have evolved into being very at peace with my life but as I said some of what I do I just do as it is so ingrained into my muscles and seeing someone else go through those things again where there is excitement, joy, anticipation and such will make me miss it. I know the majority of the things I will feel happy that she gets to feel those things but I know at times I will have the nostalgic feelings.
Please feel free to ask me a question or many!
Thats a really insightful answer, you can tell you've been thinking about it alot.
ReplyDeleteI think that is pretty common to relationships of any kind. Even people in vanilla monogamous relationships that are long-term will experience similar feeling when they watch people enjoying the rush & discoveries of an early relationship. It seems to be a big part of being human to wish for some things we don't have even when what we do have if fantastic. I could live without feeling that way myself, lol. I wish there was a way to avoid it.
ReplyDeleteThis is bound to be an emotional experience for you. You can never have a first time with someone again. On the other hand, you have the knowledge of how to love your Master, which gives you something your third will need time and effort to obtain.
ReplyDeletemaya, thank you!
ReplyDeleteDante, I am with you on avoiding those feelings!
Merlin, although I am sure it will be emotional and hard at times - I know on the other hand I will live vicariously through the third too - reliving some very good experiences.