Wednesday, March 25, 2009

March Questions: Discipline

This was a question asked in comments long long ago and I started the answer but never posted as I just kind of forget it I had thought it was a good one to post for March question month...

What sort of things have you done/might you do that would warrant the look, or a possible talking to or whatever? What are the boundaries you tend to push, or the rules you have the hardest time following, even if it's because you forget?

My answer is probably going to be short as really I am wired for obedience so it isn't often that I get the look or a talk. In our first year when we were still testing where the relationships was at and going - I got a look, a talk and even slapped. And each year it has happened less and less.

So these days, I have got the look because I have teased playfully with Master and about to push that line of where it will annoy him instead of being fun/playful. I have got the look at Master's parents when I have just said, "well I am..." going or doing something as statement instead of question. And really I have made those kind of statements every once in a while at home too and I get the look. Example my hair recently (before the haircut) - my long hair was driving me crazy and I said, "I am going to cut my hair off." I will get that look because that is a statement of intent on something I have no isn't my choice if I get my haircut or not. (And really if I say that Master threatens shaving it all off.)

A talking to usually comes when I am being moody, forgetful of an order or a talk of concern of what is going on. A discussion if I am becoming burnt out or my depression is not under control or something of that nature. I can't remember the last time I got a stern talking to but in the past I got one for forgetting to wait to eat until I had permission. I would just start eating and Master would sit there and look at me with the look. Well after it happened several times in a week - I got that talk about being more mindful. And we also just talked about what was going to make me forget after since the moment I have been with him this has pretty much been a rule so why did I suddenly "forget." He had been gone out of town the week before so when I was by myself I could eat without permission. So I just got used to it. Out of all my rules that is one that I forget still on and off even after 6 years. Every once in a while I will get the fork to my mouth - not in my mouth and then remember.

Really again I am wired to obey and not one to want to have him "make me." Even if it really annoys or upsets me to have to do it...obeying is the only choice for me. Also for me without obedience I feel we wouldn't have much of an Owner/property dynamic.

Please feel free to ask me a question or many!

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