30 Days of Kink - Day 12

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had.  If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

I am not sure I really had humorous BDSM/kink experiences, but I have humorous sex experiences....

* In my sexual history I have....

fallen off the bed during sex....

broke the bed during sex...

broke the futon during sex...

broke a table I was bent over...

broke a chair we were having sex in....


* My ex-husband and I were having sex before we married. We lived in a big apartment complex...the window was open. I forgot and after I ended my long screaming orgasm....we heard clapping. He peeked out the window the building was an L shape and several neighbors on their balconies were clapping and cheering. I went out and took a bow (with a robe on). He was totally embarrassed, but I was like so what...we know they all have sex and so do we….it is normal…so it was not a big deal to me but was a big deal to him.


* In another relationship we were poly - our household had 2 males and 4 females at one point. Anyway, one male and I were doing SM play and having sex...it was a long session that ended with sex. Anyway, during it our air conditioner went out. One of the females called maintenance - and did not tell us. They came in and took a look, but said they would come back later. She told us later that he for sure heard me moaning because she could. So he comes back later when we were up - and out - the maintenance guys said "nice to SEE you." -- And had this silly grin on his face...like he was saying nice to SEE you instead of just HEAR you! I wanted to die and hide, but I just kind of nodded and walked away.


* In the same relationship, we had a big plastic tub in the Master bedroom...it had all our SM toys...rope, floggers, sex toys (vibes, butt plugs), nipple clamps, clothes pins, gags, collars, leashes, chain and... tons of other toys. We had someone over and played the night before. I had not gotten a chance to get in there and clean up yet. So there was chains and cuffs attached to the bed, a butt plug and vibrator (that had been cleaned sitting on the night stand), rope in a pile next to the bed, a gag and blindfold hanging off the headboard, locks and more chain lying in a pile next to the bed, floggers and clamps hanging out of the plastic tub. 

The man I was involved with - was hooked up to a breathing machine at night for sleep apnea - but they needed to test blood oxygen levels to see if they had it set up right so needed to bring in another machine. Well he forgot to tell me they were coming by that morning. So when the guy knocked at the door I was a little surprised. He said he needed to go into the bedroom to hook it up. I said, “umm well I need to go clean up” and told him I would be right back. He said, “oh no don't bother I have seen I am sure much worse”...and followed me into the bedroom. I saw him look around and then he cleared his throat and said – “so isn't all this rain terrible?” and proceeded to carry on a "normal" conversation. We talked about restaurants and food. 

After he got it hooked up -- I had to fill out some forms -- so we did that in the living room. He said to me “you seem really cool.” I was still I think in a constant state of red from blushing from him being around all our toys. I said, “thanks.” He said, “you are very open minded.” I nodded and said, “umm yes.” And that is all the further he took it, but I could see he wanted to ask more. He just didn't know how to open it up to talk more.  And I just left it alone.


* Another time, same relationship, I was having a migraine and so laying under a bunch of blankets on the bed with head covered. I did not hear anyone knocking at the door. Well maintenance would knock, but if there was no answer they just let themselves in. Well they did -- they did not "notice" someone on the bed. Oh by the way I was naked - so I just lay there really still when I realized they had come in. They were changing out filters in the furnace (which was in the room where I was lying down) and changing out fire alarm batteries. So, I lay there just so still. On my computer that was in the same room - I had a screen saver with all sorts of bondage and SM porn -It was one of those slideshow type deals going through all the porn. So the guy gets done changing filter, turns around and sees it. He said, “wow.” Then he called to the other guy who was changing out batteries in the fire alarms down the hall into the room with him to see the screen saver. They stood their watching it and commenting on all the women and what was being done. Then they noticed the nipple clamps on the desk, the butt plug, vibe, and rope in a basket on shelving unit next to the desk....and commented on that. They were talking about how the people living here must really be kinky. Then they wondered if any of the photos were of the people living in this apartment. Commenting on how the carpet kind of looked like carpet in the apartment. Then all of sudden -- I heard a whisper. See I think one of them realized I was in the bed…so they left quickly.

So those are some my humorous sex moments besides just the laughing Master and I sometimes get because we are so damn happy during or after sex/bdsm play. 

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