Thursday, May 28, 2009

"Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices"

Recently I read a comment on a blog that said if you tell your slave to get a new hairstyle and she doesn't like it - it will make a stressed and unhappy slave which then in turn will cause discourse in the relationship. And that basically a middle ground needs to be found to have a happy relationship. (I am paraphrasing.)

For me this relationship is about Master's wants. If Master, tells me I am getting my hair cut and I am not happy about it I might get upset but I am here as his property so I am to obey and accept. And if he were to change it to something I felt more comfortable with - well then I probably wouldn't be in this relationship very long because that would make me more unhappy and upset. As it would make me feel like his partner and peer instead of property and slave.

The link I have above is when Master ordered me to get my hair cut with bangs and have it cut shorter then it had been. I was NOT happy about it. I actually was very stressed and anxious about it. I had many nights of crying myself to sleep over a haircut. But of course looking back and even during that time - if Master would have backed down - it would have made me feel more upset.

But it made me think about how upset I was about it at that time. I am actually surprised how little I said about it here on the blog because it really freaked me out. As I said above I cried many nights over it. I didn't want to do it but in my mind there was no other choice as I am Master's property. It was a big change but at this moment I sit here with my hair barely past my chin. And it wasn't hard at all to get it cut. No stress, no thought, no crying, no anxiety - nothing. It was just hair. That was how I felt.

If you have read here for a while, you know Master and I both have head shaving fantasies. For me - the thought of it being in fantasy land had been perfectly nice. I had no problem with it staying there. But I realized though the other day that I could accept it. During a conversation with Master I told him yes of course I would be freaked and upset but I know I wouldn't be as freaked or upset as I would have even just 3 years ago. And when I think about it now it feels...almost peaceful. As strange as that sounds. I know it would take getting used to but I know that eventually it would come to be like many things in my life....that I have freaked out about - it just is how it is and nothing I can do about it. Accept it and the living with it doesn't seem as big of deal.

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