Saturday, July 08, 2006

Here is where I am....

...randomness...

domestic - Master bought me a new ironing board pad so today I spent 2 hours ironing it is amazing what the new pad did to the shirts.....they were so much crisper then they usually were the thin little pad that was there. Yes it is the simple domestic pleasures I enjoy! I also folded some clothes (more to go) and sewed up some holes in my favorite dress that I wanted to pack with us.

clothes - speaking of my favorite dress...do you have that piece of clothing that you get lots of compliments in and is one of the most comfortable pieces you have....this is my favorite dresses. Everyone always tells me I look so pretty in it but that dress 1) cost me next to nothing and 2) is so damn comfortable. And that because it is so comfortable it is my favorite summertime dress. It is one of those dresses that has the rayon string strap sundress and then it has a gauzy type second dress over it. So that dress had to come with me. I knew I would have to dress up a little more for this event....so I drug out some clothes that I don't get a chance to wear very often. But I didn't like how one outfit looked so I took a scarf and then tied that around my waist. And while I don't think it looked too bad - I still was just so very self conscious as I just don't wear things around my waist/stomach very often. I am the type of girl who hates to tuck things in too...always have been that way even when I was a size 8. As a What not to Wear viewer I know that at times doing the scarf around the waist....actually takes away from the stomach because it was creating a different line then it was before. Now it shows curves instead of as before I felt like a column with a bubble in the middle of it. So anyway, I tried it on it wasn't horrible but it is not something I am used to either so I asked Master what he thought and he really liked it. I told him I might try it on for our friend that is going with us to see what she thinks...so I get the female perspective. Master did fake crying because I couldn't just take his opinion since you know he is such a fashionista. (grins)

mail love - I got a card with a pink high heel on it that was just so cute and then my friend said the most wonderful things in it that made me cry....good tears. Thank you kaylee!

Daddy - I have the bestest Daddy. I got hooked on paid livejournal and so he bought me some more time....so I have the BESTEST Daddy! I love you! Thank you for the wonderful treat! So now I can keep doing polls and phone posts over there.

high maintenance - because of comments that I have received from the post on it - it has made me really think about it even more. Anyway, when I lived in Ohio and Master was in Colorado it was ROUGH! I am sure all my friend's in Ohio would agree as I am sure they were probably pretty fed up with me. Anyway, I felt insecure and all sorts of issues were coming up so I probably was high maintenance then. But....when it comes down to it. It had nothing to do with me really wanting attention or being needy -- it was totally my issues. My issues from past baggage. My fears of what if this relationship doesn't turn out. What if is just like the rest. What if I fail him. My fears of what if he doesn't want to keep me. What if....what if...what if. So to me if Master were just giving me attention or instruction - the issues would never be resolved as we would have been covering up the problem with a bandaid but never cleaning it out and really looking at it so could be healed. So I do wonder if that is actually what goes on with others...they feel cared for and quells those fears and what ifs in that moment when they get the attention and instruction but it is like a quick fix...never really solving the problem and what really causes it in the first place.

out of town - We leave to go out of town tomorrow and won't be back until Tuesday late so there won't be any update until either late Tuesday if I am awake but most likely it won't be until Wednesday.

1 comment:

  1. In this entry you have written that it was hard for both you and your Master when you were seperated by distance, and that you had a lot of issues such as insecurity due to past baggage. I am just wondering, how did you get over those issues, and what helped you get over them? I am currently in the same type of situation with my slave, where we are seperated by distance and she is having the same issues (also due to past baggage), and it is very hard for the both of us. You do not have to reply or give any advice obviously, but many thanks if you do.

    ReplyDelete

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