As a child, what did you imagine your life would be like when you grew up?I don't think I had one idea of it. I know as a small child I used to create these stories of living in big household with more then one wife (not sure where I got that idea at as it was never mentioned in our household). As a child I knew I wanted to do something creative...architecture, interior design, fashion design, dancing, writing, painting....anything in the arts.
As a teenage girl I often day dreamed of being in NYC and being an artist. I never thought of being married and having kids. It was always me alone - which is odd since I went from a child having fantasies of a big household with several wives and kids to being totally alone. I also dreamed of serving as a teenager. It was kind of Story of O type of feeling to it. Where during the week or for a few weeks I would be doing my art - having art showings and such and then weekends or holidays I would be whisked away to be a servant and sex slave. I don't recall reading Story of O though until I was married so not sure where I got that thought from! But it was always nice to masturbate to as a teenager!
What are some of the dreams/goals you hope to accomplish in your life?
I don't create solid goals really. Like I want to save x amount of money before I am 40. Or I want to have such and such accomplished before fall. My goals/dreams are more organic. I know there are things I want to accomplish but I let them kind of find their way on there own. Or some goals are a lot of internal work - that just kind of simmer on the back burner for a while and all of sudden months go past and I realize that I accomplished it even though it wasn't an active thought of I will spend 2 times a week on this goal.
I have always been this way. I often find if I set a goal with an end date I sabotage myself so it is better for me to let it be organic. The only goals that are less like that are the ones that Master wants me to do - those at times have end dates and of course I try hard to always meet that goal and date on time.
Slavery/Service - I always want to keep pushing myself in my slavery and service to Master too. I always think I can be better at it. I realized just recently that last September (after the Servant's Retreat) I made some slavery/service goals that I never verbalized outloud for fear of self-sabotage - anyway when I was thinking about them recently - I realized I accomplished all of them - not always easily but I did accomplish them. And now I am going to start working on phase 2 of them.
Spiritually - This is a goal have on going that I never seem to create enough time. I feel often I am still trying to search on what my beliefs are....because I pull from lots of different places. And so I would like to make those beliefs more solid. I also want to be able to combine this one and the above slavery/service one more often then I do. I combine it a lot as I used meditation as a part of rituals to center myself and focus on getting through hard situations in my slavery. But it still isn't to where I would like it to be.
Art - One goal/dream is to keep pursuing my art. I don't ever want to let it be dropped or pushed to the side again. I want to keep myself on top of it. One active goal is of selling my art.
Family - In the last year I have missed my family more then I ever have. I guess I find myself wanting to create lasting memories and spend more quality time with them. So it is goal that I have on going.
Hobbies - I really want to learn to do several new things - knitting is one of them! And I don't have a goal really in mind but I do dream about it often!
Health - This is another area I always seem to fall short on. I do have long term goals of losing weight - exercising (blahhhh) and being more healthy over all. I love food. I love to cook and bake. And to top that all off...I am an emotional eater. So it is a hard area for me. And so again one goal is to be more healthy.
Migraines is something I am always working on too. And I just recently was chatting to a friend whose mate is a doctor. She feels her partner can help me with some natural remedies for my migraines. So that would be great! Plus she is a gyno so the link between my migraines and menstrual cycle might be something she would have insight on. I am hoping. *crossing fingers*
No comments:
Post a Comment