I just finished all 3 books of Fifty Shades of Grey. I am sure much of the BDSM community is up in the arms about 50 Shades of Grey (I haven't had time to look on FetLife to see what people are saying about it.). I am sure they are berating it for portraying our lifestyle "wrong" because those that get into it must be 50 shades of fucked up to do what we do. Or they a berating for bringing flocks of people into our lifestyle that don't have a clue what the lifestyle is about. Neither of those things bother me because something happened recently that made me remember something...
While teacup was here, we watched an old favorite of mine 9 1/2 Weeks. It is a favorite for very sentimental reasons because it was the first time I watched a mainstream movie and felt a spark of recognition. It wasn't that it was exactly like I wanted or had in my life even at the time but it sparked something in me that went yes I can see some of this in my life and it makes me hot. I remember my ex-husband being more comfortable with the kink we had in our sex life after watching that movie. It did spice up our sex life. Same thing happened when I read bodice ripper type books for the first time - they made me wet and fed my fantasies which in turn helped my sex life.
I am sure that many vanilla's reading the book and getting hot by it which isn't a bad thing to me. It helps them spice up their sex life and have some fun - so be it! I am all for having fun and spicing up the sex life - yay! Go for it!
I will say that when I started these books, I was surprised that vanilla women/soccer type Mom's were swooning over these book. I couldn't wrap my mind around it - that they were really okay with handing that much control over, being spanked and tied up? Really? I am not sure why it shocked me so much but it did shock me. I don't consider being tied up and spanked mainstream. I know many people in the lifestyle do, but I don't. You might see it here and there on mainstream tv or movies but it is not a norm in the entertainment world. So it isn't mainstream to me.
I asked several friends and my sisters about the books because I was really curious about why these books were all the rage with vanilla women. (BTW we don't have tv and I hadn't read anything online about these books or even heard about the books until a BDSM friend wrote me and asked me if I had read them.) It was confirmed by a friend who is a mommy (also a slave) and hangs around with many vanilla mommies. These Moms didn't feel any woman should be handing over any control like that but the kinky fuckery well that was spicing up their sex life and that was good. I can wrap my mind around that for the most part. I couldn't with the control. I know that many women even in the lifestyle have problems with the amount of control I hand over so for me to wrap my mind around vanilla women being okay with it - I was struggling with that thought. And as it turns out they would have a problem with it so not like I could out myself to vanilla family or friends.
I really didn't have a problem with how the book portrayed BDSM. I thought they did good with having safewords and describing limits and such. But just the over all writing was bad and phrases and situations were repetitious. Such as if I had to read one more time how his jeans hung off his hips, or her biting her lip and what that did to him, and his over jealous attitude - I thought I was going to scream. But the over all story - and the kinky fuckery were fine with me. It didn't turn me on really as it was kind of like soft kinky porn instead of the more heavy SM that I enjoy. The other thing I didn't like was - I do feel it made it seem like Christain was involved in BDSM because of his fucked up past so that did make me wonder if vanilla women reading this would think that too. But obviously they are enjoying the kinky fuckery in their own bedrooms so they aren't thinking too much on the Christian being fucked up and doing BDSM.
Again overall the books were okay. I am glad I read them because I wanted to know what all the hoopla was about them. I am glad they had kinky fuckery even up to the last pages. It is great that it is spicing up sex lives. I just wish it was better writing like Laura Antoniou 's books. Those are yummy!