Monday, February 13, 2006

History: Don & Mike - Part 4 (b) - Punishment

Prelude: If you have not read anything about Don I suggest going to this entry and starting with the last History Part 3 you will get an introduction to Don. These are real stories from my past. These things did happen to me.

Also just a reminder that although he is someone I would never want to be with again -- it doesn't change that I am the person I am because of these experiences. It was my choice to stay.

I snuggled into his arms and he told me that I would have to be punished for the orgasm. I nodded and started to cry. He told me he would push me harder then he had up to this point. I nodded again, continued to cry and then told him how sorry I was for the orgasm. He sat and talked with me how he had thought about not punishing me but that he had said he would and so he felt he needed to follow through. We talked, kissed and snuggled for a bit before he got ready to punish me.

He had this bar stool that was shaped that a person could straddle it as they sat on it...almost like a bike seat. It also was just the right height that when I put my feet down as I straddled toes could reach the floor. He pulled it into position under the hooks in the ceiling. He also pulled out a piece that slipped on top of the stool seat. It had little tacks on it....points facing up towards the ceiling. He told me he made it just for me and got this look in on his face that sent shivers of fear down my back. He pulled me to him and kissed and told me that he wanted my cunt to be ripped up. He almost growled it out as he said it. It was said with more of a sadistic tone then I had heard from him before. I felt the fear shake through me. It was the first time with him that I had that level of fear. And with the fear came arousal. He said, "straddle it now." I sat down on top of the tacks. They poked into my tender bits. I was about to panic...I felt it starting to wash over me...when he grabbed me by the throat and squeezed...he looked into my eyes before kissing me deeply. I became even more aroused and more calm again.

He did some wraps with the rope around my wrists and then strung them up above my head - through the hooks on the ceiling. He then put nipple clamps on me with a rope hanging from the chain that ran between them. He strung the rope up to the hooks and pulled them tight too. He had me lean up more so that my ass was coming out on the edge of the stool and my labia was opening up more and pressing into the tacks. I felt some of them pricking into my flesh and thought it had to be piercing hurt and I felt tears start to well and he really hadn't started with the "beating." He grabbed my panties that I had been wearing....the ones that were soaked with my arousal with Mike earlier. He stuffed some of them into my mouth.

And then it started...he picked up the cane and hit my ass....not hard really at all. But hard enough for me to have a little movement along the tacks. I yelled into the panties because it felt like they were ripping me as I moved along them. He continued...and not only was my labia having pain shoot through it but the clamps would also move as he caned me so they would sear with pain also. He continued to cane me....harder and harder. I was screaming into the gag. He just continued caning me. I felt like I was going crazy the pain was so intense. The fear from the pain was making me move to get away but that just made the situation worse. The tacks ripped into the inner labia, clit and around my urethra. I shook my head no screaming inside for him to stop as it hurt so much….he laughed at me. I was crying and hysterical with fear and pain. I tried to keep still and not move but it wouldn’t work when he caned me I moved. And soon I lost it again and shook and moved. I was pulled on the rope trying to get my hands free and as I did that the clamps pulled off my nipples, which of course was another addition to the pain happening to my body. He came in front of me and grabbed me by the hair and looked at me. He looked so angry. He then slapped me and told me all the little things I believed inside….that I deserved it and that I was lucky he wanted someone like me. And so on. He spit on me and then said that I was lucky to be having his attention and then he went back to caning me. His caning got so hard that it opened up the skin. I felt it. I felt the blood dripping down my legs. And soon the pain was so much that I couldn’t handle it….l passed out. It wasn’t the same as before….it wasn’t a warm blackness surrounding me and me sinking in. It was pain such pain that my mind and body couldn’t handle it so I passed out.

When I awoke I was in his closet on the floor. I felt as though I couldn't move. My body hurt so much. I tried to remember how I got to the closet but couldn't remember it for several moments. And then it flooded back. I started crying..mind raced with why did I let this happen to me. I didn’t want to feel the cuts on my body….between my legs and on my ass and thighs and I felt I would lose it again. I sat there and cried silently in the dark on the floor of his closet.

It didn't occur to me to open the door. I feel asleep again while I cried. I woke because I hurt. I tried to find a position that didn’t hurt but it seemed impossible. It was dark and I didn't know what time it was...and I needed to go the bathroom. I started to cry not knowing what to do. It was a hard floor but I had a towel that as lying on me when I awoke so I folded it over a few times and sat on it....and peed on it and myself. It hurt so much. It stung, ached and hurt more then anything I had ever felt. I started crying...from fear then....fear of what was done to me…the unknown of what might be.

I think I was crying so loud that he heard me and then opened the door. He squatted down before me. He saw the towel and smelled the urine. He laughed. "My dirty whore." He called me more names and how I was probably so worthless right now that he wouldn’t be able to fuck me. He brought me out on to his bed. And opened me. He was looking over the cuts, scratches, marks, and bruises. He asked me if I was his to do anything too. I cried and nodded to scared to know what to do. He slapped me and said say it. I told him I was his to do anything he wanted too. He then told me he was going to fuck me again. (I later found out that after I passed out he continued to cane me - taking me down and caned my tits and front thighs plus he fucked me so I was pretty literally covered in bruises head to toe.)

He told me that I would not scream during it. That I would enjoy it like a good girl. He had me suck on him a bit and then entered me fast and hard. It hurt so much right from the start. I felt tears well up right from the enter. And tears turned him on. He fucked me harder. As he fucked me he whispered in my ear how I was just this object for his use to beat, fuck, use, abuse…that I was his toy, maid, slut, whore….his nothing. It was the first I heard the words nothing. Being fucked hurt so much that I didn’t have a moment to think about what he was saying. It just seemed to climb right into my brain and say yep we fit perfectly here….she is a nothing. I am not sure how else to describe it that it just became so with him. He uttered it and I became it. And also at the same time there was a part of me that said this is wrong.

He continued to fuck me and it hurt so much that I was biting my lips to not scream. He finally grabbed a pillow and shoved it into my face. He came. After he had me clean him off and there was blood. I started to cry and he just slapped me and said to clean him off. I licked him clean. And then he told me he was hungry and to go get ready to go out.

I went to the bathroom and saw myself in the tits were black with red and purple. My ass looked black…no real other colors. There were blood spots scattered all over my body. I looked down and saw scratches and cuts on my pubic bone/area. I was scared. And I looked….and cried. But as I cried even though I didn’t “like the pain” there was part of me that was getting aroused by looking at…my used and abused body and I was scared at the same time that I let someone do this to me. Even as I thought of the fear during it…I felt the wetness grow. I heard his words over and over in my head that he could do anything to be because I was his nothing. And it made me want to crawl to him and kiss him and thank him.

I took a shower and we went to eat. He told me he wanted me to spend the night so I called my Mom and Dad and said I was going to go sleep at so and so’s house. They said okay. So Don and I ate but I was in obvious pain. Every thing…hurt…clothing on my body hurt…movement hurt. He bought me several strong drinks to help numb me. And they were making me very lightheaded. So he thought we should leave. We did and soon as we got back to his place he had me undress. And he told me to get in the closet again. I was out of it…and just crawled back in. No questioning. Not objecting. Not begging for him not too. No wondering what I would do if I had to go the bathroom again. Nothings don’t think of those things. I just did what he told me to.

Before he locked the door he had thrown me a towel again and also little throw type blanket. He joked that he might have to get a litter box for me. Soon I was asleep in the closet. I slept hard. I was so tired – physically, emotionally and mentally. But after a while I awoke to noises from the room. I looked through the keyhole and there he was having sex with someone. I watched them and got wet. After they finished I fell asleep again.

I awoke with the door opening….

To be continued…


  1. Danae,

    this is difficult stuff to read. i find myself only being able to skim thru; can't imagine living it. i understand your motivation for writing it, since i have often purged my head via writing, but i wonder how you feel about it now? as in, even though you say it was your choice, would you do it again, knowing what you know now? if you could get to where you are today without doing this, would you skip it next time around?

    just wondering. hope things now are bliss, or at least near it.

    blessed be,

  2. L, I have a post started that answers those questions and others asked. I hope to have it done this week sometime. Thank you for the comment! It was good to go to your journal today and see a post. :)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...