Halloween Costumes

A friend over on Live Journal was talking about the old customes that came in a Ben Cooper box (or out of the box) and her favorite halloween costume and so I thought I would recount some of the costumes I wore as a kid.

I had a couple of those that looked just like the kind that came the box...but I can't remember for sure. Most of the time we couldn't afford them. So I dressed up in whatever Mom could find around the house to pull together for a costume --

Hobo Clown - Mom painted my face and she sewed orange yarn into a hat and then sewed patches on an old pair of my jeans and patches on an old plaid suit jacket. Cut cardboard out that fit over my shoes for a big floppy shoe. a big polka-dotted hanky in the suit pocket. I remember being this many years.

Old woman - old stuff from my grandma - dress that Mom pinned and tucked to get it stay on and not be so long that I would trip, a shawl, fake pearls, a hat, and a cane

Cowboy - I had things in my wardrobe that would work...as my Aunt worked a western store....western belt, western shirt, vest with all sorts of beading on it on it in western designs and fringe, jeans, cowboy boots

Indian girl - I am sure now days that would be un-pc to do. I had a dress that was very plain kind of jumper and then a sueded vest that I wore as a cowboy over that added native american designed blanket over that. Mom made into a like a cape and then she took a box and wrapped with fabric and punched holes it to put laces through so I could wear on my back like a pappoose and stuck one of my dolls in it.

Laura Ingalls - I had a costume a neighbor made me to be in a parade for the bicentinal of the town I lived in and so that got used as a halloween costume too. It was much like the dress on the website only in blue. I even had a bonnet.

A 50's Girl - had a skirt that was shaped like a poodle but plaid did that with a little twin sweater set with a scarf around my neck, hair in a pony tail, mary janes and bobby socks

I really didn't have a favorite as a kid as I always felt like it was just thrown together. And a lot of times it was as Mom didn't have time to plan them out for us before hand. And we basically didn't get to request what we wanted. We just were what ever she told us she could pull together.

I guess I always liked the Laura Ingalls costume the most as I loved the books, I watched the show (still do at times and want the dvd set too) but the reason I really liked it the best as it was made. It wasn't handy me downs or clothes out of my closet made into a costumes.

Yay for Pain!

I am a happy floaty girl right now....

Master and I had dinner and then watched a few episodes of West Wing to finish up season 6. After I asked permission to use the bathroom, but Master had other ideas. He started with grabbing and squeezing my breasts harder then He did at lunch! It instantly hit my masochistic buttons. I wanted more. I could feel the desire grow. I knew He wanted more too. We sat on the couch for a bit with Him inflicting pain on me in various ways.

Soon He was leading me by my hair to the bathroom where He had me go to the bathroom while giving Him a blow job. His cock felt so good in my mouth. After, I was done pissing....we went to the bedroom and got naked. We climbed into bed and He started in with inflicting pain on my tits again. Which lead to Him punching them. It is one of those love hate things. I love that I was feeling all these masochistic feeling from the pain but at the same time I was feeling that fear that comes with not knowing what will come next and hoping it will be something that will hurt even more. So, I was having all sorts of thoughts and images racing through my brain, when he decides to ask me what I was thinking about....of course in that moment He has to do that. I was thinking about pain and darkness which had lead to thought of the blackness the hood gives me. So I of course told Him and told me to beg for the hood. And I did so easily as I wanted to just fall into the blackness of it not only feel that blackness that comes with the pain for me -- but the blackness of hood....where I sink into myself. Master having a hood fetish was pleased by my desire of course. He pulled the black leather hood with slits around the nose/mouth and laced it up tight. He would go between grabbing and squeezing my tits -- to punching them -- and then moving to fingering my wet cunt. And after a while He started in on face slapping...which lead to another thing we enjoy -- face punching.

It is not like taking a swing at someone. It is very controlled in force and placement. My face is fine - no bruising just quite red at the moment. I loved it and it really sent me into a wonderful state of blackness. And I know Master loved it as well as He became very turned on. After a little while of going between various pains He had me masturbate myself while He did the same. When He came He smeared His cum into my body as I continued to masturbate. I came shortly after and we both snuggled into each other very happy and satiated....for the time being....yes smiling in hopes we have some more play time this weekend!

Oh and my tits are still hurting from all the abuse they have taken tonight but....I still want more.

quiz

You are 93% Submissive!

Submissive and dominant personality traits are part of everyone's natural make-up. You may be very dominant in the workplace or in being the head of your family, and yet still be submissive when it comes to relationship or sexual matters. If you scored high you may want to look into BDSM as a healthy outlet for your need to serve and obey. If you scored very high it's likely you have already done so. If you scored very low you may want to take my test on dominance, and may have already explored BDSM as a healthy outlet for your need to control and direct others. You can find out more about this topic at my site.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Submissive

Link: The Are You A Born Submissive Test written by subthoughts on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Lunch Time Quickie

Lunch time....is so nice.

Master comes home for lunch and it is a nice to see Him in the middle of the day. Especially those days He works late.

Today was not exception and in fact it was a very nice lunch. We not only talked and took care of some mail that needed to go out, but I received a card from Master. One of those cards that within the first line of it I was crying. It was one of those hallmark connection cards that has all the right things a person feels inside and wants to express in it. And this one did exactly that....it was beautiful. Thank you Master!

Also I got a little quickie of pain and desire. We were in the office discussing something and then He had to leave. He got up before me....He was behind my chair...He reached down with one hand and grabbed one of my tits and squeezed, grabbed and twisted. It was hard, but I know not as a hard as He could have done. He used His other hand to wrap into my hair and pull my head back so He could see my expression on my face from the pain. It was a delicious pain. I would say the inner masochist has been awake lately. As the pain hurts, but I am enjoying it just for the pain sake. He then grabbed me up out of the chair and continued to squeeze one of my breasts and had me put my other hand on his crotch. His cock was hard under His jeans and I could really feel my arousal just go up even more! Oh I wish He had not had to go back to work because sucking on His cock and being fucked by Him sounded so nice....but I guess that will have to wait for tonight and/or this weekend.

I need to get back to work.....just wanted to share my wonderful lunchtime.

(by the way I told Master about the post and He made me stand up like I was reciting a book report and read it outloud to Him)

5 Years of Blogging

Yes...yes it is 5 years of blogging. It seems longer actually to me. I was reading random entries from the last 5 years. It was kind of odd...so much has happened in 5 years. I was looking through the entries making a list of things that happened that I wanted to point out or recall again. But there is so much. It has been a roller coaster ride. I am not sure how many people reading this have actually been around reading the full 5 years I have been blogging.

I started the blog as a positive step forward in allowing myself to be me. So that I could be real to myself. My thought was putting it all out there meant that I had to be true myself or otherwise anyone reading would know I wasn't. It also was to help me clarify my journey and to just keep track or recount my life's daily events. I was kind of floundering the summer before starting the blog. And was just starting to get a direction and able to just stand when I started the journal. It was still a tough time of it. But I was slowly making positive steps in making my life better. I was really getting solid in my work/business. I was enjoying it. In December 2000, things came to a head personally - and I made a line that I would not cross again. And it felt good and empowering.

And from there it just kept growing...sometimes being very superficial, other times expressing what moved me and yet other times exposing myself -- being raw and vulnerable. I have a lot of chaos to get to this point in my life...to have the serene peacefulness.

Over the years there has been many relationships in my life some for long term others for short terms. (I can see DM nodding her head in agreement wtih this one.) I have had adventures and excitement. I created a business and had it flourish. I have had painful break ups. I have had love and betrayal. I have joy and pain. But I also have had wonderful wonderful friends that I know I will count as friends always. I have the kind of friends that are there for you in the really hard times. And I grateful for all they have done for me through our friendship.

In that 5 years of blogging, Master found me. He actually read my blog for many months before contacting me....what a BRAVE BRAVE soul He was for contacting this girl who seemed to be on a constant roller coaster ride.

So, I look back to these 5 years and see a multitude of memories...

* Business...that I enjoyed and learned so much about myself. Gained so much self-confidence and self-love. And then the eventual closing of it also which left me a little lost and confused.
* Relationships....poly, single, trying, Daddy/little girl, vanilla, play partners, love, betrayal, softness, roughness, D/s, M/s and all the others that fall in that mix...all growing experiences
* Going to Germany...being there for Honey...it was a big impact on my life in how it changed relationships and my business
* sickness
* visiting friends...Guardian and nuala, jackie and others
* good holidays with family and friends and also difficult ones
* friends helping me out in difficult times....especially Bill and Lisa, Moni and her husband Michael - Thank you all for being such good friends!
* Meeting Master...and the memories with Him are countless as there are new ones everyday. And with Him I am now in a place I am very grateful to be...His property, His slave...His.

I am sure I a missing many...as 5 years creates quite a few of them.

So while I read the archives this year- it was much different then last year. Last year I had the whole range of emotions and this year I read them and basically said, "yup that is my life." And there was no sadness, tears, anger or cringing...there was just...acceptance of my life. It is all me...the real me...there in the words of my blog...the good the bad and the ugly. I started blogging to help me figure it out...who I am and it has helped. It has helped me remain true to myself and be real. I will keep on being real with myself and keep plugging forward in the continual learning and growing not only through this blog but through life. I am very glad I started it and I hope to be blogging for many many more years.

I want to thank everyone that reads my blog...sends me emails, comments and such. You are all wonderful! You also help me in my journey....Thank you!

And I am going to end with
The Velveteen Rabbit as I did last year too:
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you..."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.

"When you are Real, you don't mind being hurt...It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Releasing Stress?

I think I am coming down from the stress....of the last month. I feel so drained and sad today. Though I should be thrilled my client's website is done and up. So, I think I am just releasing lots of stress I had been holding in....

I have several emails to answer....blog entries to write......comments to write.....and such....

But I am just feeling like I need a break right now. So I am going to go organize my art room as it looks like a tornado hit and then maybe have some time to even do some art this evening. I am sure that will make me feel better!

People Watching....People's Stories

I love to people watch...more so I love to try to figure out their story...what is happening in that moment.

Some examples...of recent but I could tell many like this as I do this SO MUCH!

The Restaurant

Shortly after coming home from SR Master and I went to dinner and the there was a man and woman and a little girl sitting in the booth across from us. The man and woman sitting on the same side. The little girl by the way is about 6 or 7 -- is my guess anyway. I overheard little bits and pieces of their questions to each other and it seemed to be first date questions. It seemed very odd to me to bring your child on your first date...second or third yes but first. Anyway, the little girl was not getting attention that she wanted and so she kept trying to interrupt their conversations. I can understand that as they weren't including her. Then the check comes he pays for and the little girl says to the man, "will you please let my Mom and I have a moment to talk alone." And he looked at her and looked at the Mom and then the couple went on with their question basically ignoring the little girls request. Now later I got what she wanted to do...was ask for dessert as she ended up asking after he paid the bill without having to talk to her Mom alone. They ordered ice cream for her and a dessert for themselves and then when that bill came she paid for it.

So after they left I was discussing with Master the whole thing and I did what I normally do...wondering if they were really on a first date. And thought they would not go on a date again as they did not seem to connect. Their conversations seemed very stiff and had those awkward silences. But I wondered and told the story of them.

The Parking Lot

Next Master and I went out for fast food the other night as I had pulled a long tense day of working. Anyway, we parked and ate -- there was a big semi truck ahead of us and SUV type vehicle parked next to it. No one was in either when we first parked there. But soon people came walking from the fast food restaurant to the truck and SUV. It was man, little boy and a woman. The little boy was rushing ahead to the SUV and the woman and man were not touching or holding hands but just talking. The little boy wanted to get up into the cab of the big semi-truck so they all went to the other side and he put the little boy in the truck. I could see their feet from under the truck and see the little boy in the truck. The man did not seem to me to be interacting with the boy like a Dad would so I told Master I wonder what their story is...and proceeded to tell him that I felt the man was maybe a relative but not a close one. It again almost felt from a distance like a first meeting but that wouldn't be true if it were a relative...would it? So we watched and I said he has not even hugged the little boy so it must be someone new to them. Soon after I said that he was holding and hugging the little boy. I still don't think he was Dad to the little boy but he was maybe his uncle.

Next....

WalMart

Last night Master and I were in Walmart doing our shopping and as we were checking out I was noticing the man in the next isle. He was wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and a baseball cap -- all were dirty. Very dirty -- black soot looking almost. His hands, arms and face were covered in it. I then looked at the things he was buying....large stacks of DVD, large quantities of food in big cans and packaging. And then a bunch of new clothes all so neat in how they were folded. So I decided he was out in the oil fields or natural gas rigs. That where they work is often long shifts before they get time off - they live at the place while they work. And they are not usually near a store...any store so DVD's large quantities of food - made sense to me.

So on the way home last night I was thinking I wish I could go up to people and ask them if I am guessing their stories right....Master said it would freak people out knowing they are being watched so closely. And I guess that is right as I know if someone said that they were watching me and wondered if A, B and C were right I would be thinking stalker! But it was interesting to think about and wonder if I am getting at all near what is really going on.

Blog Worth....

My blog is worth $25,968.84.
How much is your blog worth?

Birthday Wish....

Wishing Jani a very Happy Birthday! I hope you have a great day celebrating you!

Links in regards to the Obscenity Law

Carnal droog posted the letter him and his slave embre sent in regards to the obscenity laws and it is very good. He does not mind others using it. Please check it out.


Also Master wrote an eloquent post in His journal in regards to the obscenity Law.

Good Things!

1) Tazo Chai Black Tea - yummy! I had 2 cups today and it was very nice.

2) Being productive with work.

3) Dinner in the crockpot. I have not used it in a long time and I love how slow cooking the chicken, rice and veggies make it taste so good.

4) Laughing Cat Sweet Baby Red Wine by Carlson Vineyards. Oh my I want another bottle NOW please! It was wonderful with dinner. It is a wonderful table wine. I hope it is something we pick up again.

5) Pinching Master's ass as I head to the bathroom...and then flashing Him my ass that inspires Him to spank it....

He took me by the hair bent me forward - hand tight in hair and then spanked my ass. Hitting the sweet spot many many times. And then pulled me up wrapped His arm around my neck and put His other hand over my mouth. And then He took His hand off my mouth and....well just lets says I am feeling a little spacey just from that little bit of fun.

6) It is FRIDAY! (even though I am sure I will be working all weekend.) I am glad to have Master home.

7) Yay and still feeling high from Master playing with me even that little bit. Maybe after He is off the phone I can convince Him He wants a blowjob. (yeah I know probably won't be hard to convince Him.)

The End is Coming?

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Daily Om: Avoiding Negative Vibrations

There are times when you may find that being around certain individuals or groups of people leaves you with feelings of discomfort. It may be that spending time with a particular friend feels draining or that dealing with a specific coworker exhausts you. Being around toxic or angry people is also draining. And you may even find that being surrounded by a crowd of people lowers your energy levels rather than perks you up. This is not that unusual. Each of us radiates energy and is capable of being influenced by the energy of other people. It is important to learn how to shield yourself, so you don't unknowingly take on someone else's energy. While some people know how to instinctively protect themselves from being adversely affected by energy, most of us need to discover and practice the technique that works best. Click the link to read the rest!

I know someone just wrote about energy vampire recently so thought they could relate but I am relating too because just talking to my client lately makes me feel tired after. She has a very negative energy around her right now.

No Time.....Sorry!

So I suck...yes I know I do....I have the next part of SR coming, but this is the final push to the deadline for my clients site. So I have been busy. Believe me if I could be blogging more then doing what I am....I would be a happy woman!


Right now I am enjoying a cup of tea - hoping it will perk me up as I need something to keep plugging away at this website.

I hope to be able to catch up on everyones blogs soon and also post my next SR posts as well as countless other posts on poly, my feet, being a princess, my name and many other topics in my life.

I also want to add a Thank You to someone special...she sent me gift for my birthday and it was completely unexpected and beautiful! I think I stood just staring at it in awe. I don't know if she wants me to name her, but she does read my blog so she can out herself in comments if she doesn't mind. Thank you very much....you are so kind and thoughtful!

Birthday....

I woke up this morning with a phone call from my Mom....singing Happy Birthday to me. After that Master told me to stay in bed for a bit while He created MAGIC! And he certainly did...

I have been dreading turning 38 and Master made a special birthday for his little girl....

He had me cover my eyes and then lead me to the dining room. He told me to open my eyes and there before my eyes was a table fit for a princess! There was a table cloth that said princess on it, plates, napkins, cups that had princess' on them. And then there was tiaras that said princess too! There were presents stacked on the table wrapped in Princess paper. So it was a magical Princess birthday!

The whole setting instantly put me into little girl mode....ripping papper off my presents as I wore my tiara!

It was much fun!

I got lots of art goodness from Daddy! And then also mixed with more Princess stuff too - stickers, bookmarker, and more stickers.

Now I have to come back to reality for a bit as I have a talk with my client this morning. After that though Master and I are going for breakfast but probably back to business stuff the rest of the day as I am nearing my deadline.

So if I get to be only 4 years old for some of the day.....then turning 38 won't be so bad. Thank you Daddy! I love you very much! You always make my birthday so special!