Monday, September 14, 2009


Sometimes Master and I have what we call Sunday Conversations. We discuss a question, topic or essay we found on the web. A few Sunday's ago Master asked...

Which I thought was better - similar lifestyle tastes or a similar foundation in a relationship sense?

And it was an easy answer for me. I feel having similar foundation in relationship is better then having similar lifestyle tastes. Without compatibility in relationship especially those things that are at the foundation of a relationship then we most likely wouldn't achieve a M/s dynamic. I am not saying it doesn't matter if we weren't compatible with kink and the dynamic we seek, but if given choice between the two options, I would have to say that a relationship foundation is more important and would affect our overall compatibility and the longevity of the relationship.

If the person wants to be a slave, that isn't enough of a reason for us to pursue someone. Compatibility goes beyond the M/s dynamic. Determining if we're compatible, how would they mesh in our daily lives? What are their values? Are they open minded? How do they handle crisis? Is honesty important to them? Are they dependable? Do they show respect to strangers as well as family and friends? Do they treat people fairly? Do they keep their promises? What to think the word faithful means? How do they communicate? How do they handle and express anger? Are they are good listener? Basically what are their beliefs, the things they live by? And do our personalities mesh?

When I lived in a poly household, I know that just being kinky and having a desire to be a slave wasn't enough to make you compatible with each other. Some of the girls we had in our household had a deep desire to be a slave, but that fact alone didn't guarantee that we were compatible. Sometimes there was a conflict of values or a breakdown of communication which you need a strong foundation in order to have a solid relationship. Merely having the same kink doesn't mean the relationship can last. It needs more.

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