Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Ugly July

This month has been hard on me.

 The end of May my sciatica came back and it is just getting worse and worse.  To the point that this month - I can't stand or sit very long. Laying down seems to give me the most relief at this time, but still is very painful and have to readjust positions often.  I have an appointment with my doctor next week. 

Because I am in such pain, I am falling behind on things around the house and other things such as blogging. But I have been reading like a mad-woman.  I am going through a book in a day or two.  My library requests aren't keeping up with me so in between waiting for them - I am rereading the Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton.  I have most of them so keep pulling them off the shelf in between my library books.  I am almost to the point in the series where I stop liking them.  

I am also reading the Highlander series by Karen Marie Moning and going to reread her Fever series after the Highlander series. If you haven't read anything by Karen Marie Moning and like bodice ripper type books - read her.  Master thinks is it is amusing because I can read her books that are bodice rippers where the woman is held down, hooded in one, tied up in others and  even one of them starts out with how the man is hung like a horse and even the horses envy him but I am not big on BDSM fiction. The Market Place series by Laura Antoniou being the exception.  But I like the bodice rippers where the women are feisty and get tamed. 

Books are the only thing keeping me from drowning right now.  When I am in this kind of pain cycle, it starts to bring me down. My depression starts weighing on me and I feel myself sinking into it.  I get why. I understand it logically but trying to fight it has nothing to do with logic.  It has nothing to do with even seeing it happening - even though recognizing it is good so I can see I need to fight it. It is just hard and tiring.  Books though have become the only thing that keeps my mind from sinking into it.  

Master is going through a great amount of stress right now too.  The kind of stress that makes your chest hurt.  I am trying to help him and just be here for him which I know he appreciates my support but I wish I could help more then just being supportive.  But this is a stress that won't go away until a solution is found. 

So that is where things are at the moment. I just thought I would try to get a life update posted so that people didn't think I fell off the earth. 


  1. Sciatica is one of those awful things that tends to overshadow everything else in life.
    I hope the Dr. helps and you feel better soon.

    1. lil, I agree it does overshadow everything. Master might be going out of town in the next few days and I know he is still weighing if he should let me come with as the pain I have been is so bad. He doesn't want me stuck in a car all day and make it worse. But I just am so down right now also that being without him makes the pain seem little in comparison. Thank you for your well wishes!

  2. Feel better. Take care of yourself. I hope the stresses ease up for you both very soon.

    Gentle hugs, swan


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