Monday, May 06, 2013

Mentor or Not

I feel I am always growing, learning and changing even though I have been involved with BDSM since I was 16 and I am now 45. I would rather just be there for people seeking mentors to answer questions, discuss topics and build friendships than be a mentor. But I am always open to answering questions, being there for anyone that needs some guidance and friendship.

I don't always feel mentorships fulfill the purpose of the what being a mentor actually means (look at dictionary definition of being a mentor). Most of the time I see mentorships as being a d-type taking on an s-type and then it ending up about sex and play which is not what being a mentor actually means. To me there is a difference between trying to guide and teach someone verses someone exploring their desires. 

When I wanted to feel the spider whip (a single tail with lots of tails instead of one). I went to the person who was known to be good at it and asked if he would use it on me. If I had a question about what it means to be a submissive - I went to submissive groups, I read, I asked like-minded people and friends and then decided on my own what it means for ME.

Really I am not sure I believe in mentorships, but instead just growing and learning from friends, talking with like minded people, participating in online forums, reading websites and books about the lifestyle. Gain lots of different perspectives and then find your own beliefs and things you are curious to explore. And then go out and explore that with common sense and two feet on the ground.

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