The other day Master and I were engaging in some kinky fun. It started off as our usual kinky sex but quickly moved to some heavier SM. And it was just one of those days I couldn't get my mind there. I hate when it happens but it does happen. I started to cry. It was sobs where I was gasping for air (had the gas mask on). He moved from pretty intense/rough punching to the delrin cane. And oddly enough I started to calm down somewhat. But of course my brain just wouldn't shut up and I lost it again. And then started to beat up on myself for not being able to get in the right mindset. I would calm down and then lose it and calm down and lose it over and over.
Although I didn't have much fun, Master did. And then after of course I totally erotized the fact that I didn't enjoy it. That he just kept going. I know He could have gone longer but I couldn't breath with all the tears and snot in the gasmask -- yes lovely image but the truth. So I have been turned on by the thought of him keep on beating me even though I was so not there.