danae

The last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of sorts. It has been very good but I am still like sitting here amazed that all that has happened really happened to me and not someone else.

There is a yahoogroup called a slave diary....I have followed her diary for about 2 years. When I first started reading it was amazed that someone actually had the life she did. I thought it was a dream. As my life was changing my feelings towards what I read changed too. I still wanted it....I could feel it inside how I wanted a life similar to hers. Her Master is a man, her husband, her friend, her lover and her Dominant was a total person...not just D/s not just BDSM not just vanilla...not just strong but kind. And I would read it and cry because of the feelings it evoked in me. At one point in my life I got mad reading it. Because I felt betrayed and not sure I can explain that but I did. I stopped reading for a little bit.

Now I have a man in my life that could be just like her Master.

He has done things I never thought of having done to me. I have always been the one to give others pleasure and many times I have not got any pleasure back except the knowing that they enjoyed it.

I am having lots of feeling and lots of things swirling in my head that I cannot get out at the moment. I about to leave to go see my parents who i have not seen in a year.

I actually hope to write on the plane and then type it up when I get there...

So everyone...Have a good weekend...


peace,
danae


ps: I learned this week that I have lots of fears even though I am happy with my life. To keep going forward and get all my dreams - is very scary. I have learned that I have lots to learn as a submissive again. I learned that I am very selfish. I have learned that even though I am happy I can have insecure moments. I have learned that I do not listen very well. I have learned that I do not speak without thinking at times....especially with Aslan who I want to treat with respect. I have learned that I need love in my life. I have learned that I do not want to be alone anymore. I have learned that simple things provide me with great joy. I have learned that I need more sleep :) I have learned that no matter how much I try to work things out with people sometimes it is not meant to work. I have learned that I blush a lot *grin*