Graitude Tuesday - V

~ V ~

I am grateful for my voice...it allows me to speak, ramble, shout, mutter, babble, vent, roar. It lets me cry or sing a song. It flows out in exclamation. It lets me groan and moan. It allows me to vote, express, have choice, give approval, and participate. It is my words spoken and written. My voice exposes, reveals and hides me.

Hunger

I need to do a disclaimer: Now I am one of those people that believes size doesn't matter. I have been with many men and I feel it is really what is done what makes good sex. I have had really incredible sex with all different sized men.

Okay so....this weekend I have been wickedly aroused. I used to have this jelly dildo that was pink with silver sparkles in it (similar color to the one at the bottom of the page). It was I think about 8 1/2 inches long and a little over 2 inches wide but it got wider at the base. When I moved here, we didn't play with many of my sex toys. So it sat in a bag with a some other toys - a vibrator that had jelly interchangeable sleeves, a little water proof vibe that was jelly on the outside with a hard inside base. And then some anal beads and maybe a few other plugs and vibes. I like sex toys.

Anyway the toys sat in a bag and last year or maybe it was the year before - I was cleaning a plastic bin out and found the toys. Ewww! Jelly toys don't like to 1) be next to other jelly toys 2) don't like to sit around and not be used. It ended up that most were sticky and almost kind of melted into each other. And that is known to happen with jelly toys. (Blowfish kind of talks about that midway down the page.) So all of them go thrown out.

I do have to say though I MISS my pink sparkly buddy. And this weekend as aroused as I was...I just had visions of that dildo pounding into me. POUNDING. Fucked hard with it. I remember it...what it felt like and it was just different then sex for me. It just felt more wanton for me. And I can't explain it - it is a freakin toy. But having it used on me made me incredibly slutty and whorish.

home!

I have meant to do an update of life and the trip but I haven't yet so doing one now.

Since we have been home....

That first week we were home I was just totally drained and didn't feel like doing anything but yet got quite a few things done. Plus I got my period. So that was a week of migraines. And then this past week I just feel like I am getting back into the swing of things.

The trip itself was just great! We met a friend of Master's for breakfast in Denver the first morning there. We left 4th of July from Denver and went to Omaha where I grew up. Master really liked Omaha. One thing that he notices is how green things are because we live here on the western side of Colorado we are pretty much a desert climate. So people don't have grass in their yards - or they have very little of it. And things are just more rocky here. So coming into Omaha - it has so many trees and everything was so green. And he really liked seeing that. I was able to bring him past the house I grew up and then all the schools and other places that were important to me. We were able to have Godfather's pizza since we don't have those here and it is Master's favorite pizza.

I am not sure what it is about hotel rooms but we always have just deliciously hot sex. Not that we don't at home but there is something that makes the hotel just different enough - to feel different. I had packed some quiet toys (baton, this thing with a ball on the end of it that can pack a punch, forceps and a few other things) and then the Hitachi which is quiet when it is turned on but when it is used on me I don't stay very quiet lol So I was hooded in the full hood and pushing my head into to the pillow because I felt I was being too loud. So Omaha was fun!

After Omaha we headed to see my family and do the party. It was great! My parents were surprised. And I had a nice time with them, my sisters and my extended family.

We then came back and stayed a few days in Denver before coming home. Master and I did get to sneak away and go to a fetish store while in Denver. We didn't get anything but it was nice to just be able to sneak away and go look.

New Layout!

A new layout....I was getting sick of my princess and a pea so tonight I battled some of the widget stuff and adapted a template around what I wanted. I created the header in photoshop. I am still not happy with some things but trying to figure it all out.

Pimping for Charity

I have been meaning to pimp this for a while and my brain has just not been working....

This weekend is blogathon and there are many wonderful blogs out there blogging for charity.



Luna is blogging to for raise money for NLA-I DVP. To find out more about it and to sponsor her please check out her blog.

Swimming Through It

I was looking at Alphaslave and there is a picture of a girl with her head in a box and then being pushed into a bathtub. I have had several experiences with SM & the bathtub. My first experience was with Don long long ago (scroll down to the asterisk - it starts under those). That experience left me very confused with him but I didn't leave him.

But that experience didn't make me shy away from SM combined with water and the bathtub. And I did experience it a few more times. Once being with someone I have talked about before. He ran the tub with just a little cold water. And had me lay down in the tub. He then got on top of me knees pressing into my shoulders...legs trapping my arms flat down so I couldn't move them. And then he turned the water on...and let it start covering me...my head was under the spout just a bit. He let me raise and tilt my head as much as I could - for a bit - sputtering for air. But then he pushed me under. And hold me there. I would struggle but I couldn't really move. He would pull me up just when I thought my lungs couldn't take anymore. He would laugh, spit, say dirty degrading things, slap me and then push me under again. Over and over this happened. I am not sure how long. He let some of the water out....and then left a cold trickle of water run..on my head. He just sat there and watched me react - shiver, struggle....I would start to speak and he would slap me. He finally shoved a washcloth in my mouth and jerked off on me. He told me to stay and he got out dried off. I didn't move I wasn't in bondage...but i didn't move...i knew better. He got me out eventually. It felt of course like I had been there for hours. I was chattering and shivering. He had the air on in the room so cold too. The whole thing from holding me under the water to just having my lie with cold water running - cold air on my bare skin - made my mind spin. I thought any moment I am going to lose it if this doesn't stop. Of course I didn't lose it not in the way I thought - I thought I was going to break. But I didn't.

It was total loss of control when he was on me pushing me down. And then when he had me lie there - the mental bondage and emotional masochism. I knew him well enough to know that if I moved what had just happened would be ramped up 10 times harsher. But I think of it now and still remember the rush. And I remember the feelings after everything. Just so satisfied...that so many pieces of me were touched that usually weren't.

Intimate Dinner for 2

Found this today while stumbling...

A little Romantic Dinner for 2 Kinky People.

Gratitude Tuesday

I haven't done a Gratitude Tuesday post in a while so wanting to get back into it...



~ U ~

Us...

together...just fits so good. And I am very thankful for it. He is Master and I am slave. Both of us like similar things such as movies and food. Both of us have similar moral and political beliefs. Both of us finish each others thoughts and sentences. Both of us like the seasons and seeing the progress of those seasons around us. Both of us love where we live....our beautiful state of Colorado. Both of us take care of each other. Both of us like to give people presents and help people out. Both of us enjoy art and music. Both of us have quirky little things...such as loving office supplies, watching movies over and over and over, being packrats, seeing the reuse of things, and making lists. Both of us read each others thoughts....one or the other often will think of something and not verbalize it and a moment later the other will say it out loud. It gives me shivers that we think so alike. But we fit together....and it works for us.

Home Corners

This might be an odd little home corners but it is fitting my mood today. Whenever I travel or we have company for several days, I crash after. It is like I have been overstimulated for several days, had to be careful of what I said and did the whole time as to not give away who Master and I are to each other - so I crash after because although I enjoy being around family and friends, it is stressful too. So I was here in my studio typing up the entry I did last night and out of the corner of my eye I spotted my toy chest. It is a pink tin and it has paper dolls, my Princess book that Mandy and Luis gave me and then my Groovy Girls and their extra clothes and sleeping bags. Because I am crashing....I think of comfort things. And being little girl and just playing with my dolls and forgetting about all the stuff that is going on in the real world sounds just splendid.

So today's home corner is a tribute to my little girl side that likes to play with dolls, color, and be read to....

click on the pictures to get a bigger view of them...







(if these pictures aren't showing up let me know....I am linking them from livejournal and not sure I have done that before)

Positive Monday + a little update

5 Good Things in my Life...
1) We are HOME! We had a great trip but it is nice to be home! (got home last night)
2) We had great TRIP!
3) We got a lot accomplished today - unpacked, went to run errands, grocery shopping and such.
4) West Wing....Master and I watched 3 episodes tonight and they are just so good! great writing, directing, acting...fantastic show. (watched: What Kind of Day Has It Been the last episode of season 1 and then In the Shadow of Two Gunmen Part 1 and 2 the first 2 episodes of season 2)
5) Chocolate milk! I had been craving it so Master bought me some and it tastes so good!


As I said above today we accomplished a lot so it was a busy day. My body is hurting tonight so I took some naproxen and some airborne as I am hoping I am not coming down with anything but just think I am crashing. On top of crashing I am also starting to pms also. Master recognized it right away this morning as I was in tears in the car as it was seeming like nothing was going smoothly this morning. So joy oh joy!

We had our internet go down today so didn't really get a chance to catch up on my favorite reads so hopefully a little bit tomorrow. If there is anything major that anyone wants to fill me in on please feel free.

I am still reading the Anita Blake series. I am reading Narcissus in Chains right now because I have come this far so I need to keep going in the series. Although I have read them all up to Blue Moon more then once some more then 3 or 4 times. I started The Mermaid's Chair while at Master's parents. My Mom had it and was done with it and I had told her I had a friend that read it but couldn't remember the review she gave it. My Mom said she enjoyed it and so when I went to go pack it was sitting on top of my suitcase. So I started it but decided to keep going with the Anita Blake series instead. I am really worried that The Mermaid's Chair might depress me with turning 40 in the fall. And people that have read the book might not understand why....I just got that feeling from reading the back of the book and the first chapter. Maybe I am wrong.

I know it is early but I think I will go read a little before going to sleep....because I just feel so achy and drained.

Taking a Trip

I know I have been very quiet lately but we have been so busy...which isn't a bad thing. We have a family celebration so Master has been doing a video for that. It turned out so beautiful. He has such talent to capture memories and tell the story. Then on top of that he has just been so busy with the rest of his work. I have tried to help him out in areas that I can but he still has had a very full plate.

Because of the family celebration we are going out of town. We leave later today and won't be back for at least 2 weeks at most 3 weeks. I will be doing phone posts over at livejournal. I will try to always remember to make them public so anyone wanting to hear....just check out this link every once in a while --- http://danaewhispering.livejournal.com/tag/voice+posts