A journal entry from Monday, July 29, 2002
Last night I woke up with a dream......
He was telling me to open my mouth to accept his urine but I shook my head no. He slapped me and told again to open my mouth and accept his urine. I said no. I am not quite sure why my dreams often have me being insolent when in an actually in day to day serving and life as a slave -- I am not insolent at all. Anyway, he then told me I would not get another drink of *anything* that day for refusing to drink his urine. And again I was insolent and just said, "okay fine." I was stubborn and thought going without drinking would be just fine. So of course all day the things he had me eat made me want have a drink. A peanut butter sandwich being one, pasty mac-n-cheese and spicy food. All the while he laughed at me for being stubborn. I tried to put on a sweet smile like it wasn't a big deal but of course he could see through it. But in the end I beg for his urine. Begging for drink. I was allowed to drink. But still was punished for being insolent.
So most of the time when I do dream about being "bad" in a dream - I wake up feeling guilty and upset. But this time I woke up extremely turned on and promptly masturbated myself into endless orgasms.