Thursday, April 16, 2009

His Captive

So there was a thread on FetLife...(see getting back into my old habits) about captivity. I know I have said a million times I am isolated. And that I live in a bubble. But putting it down in black and white in the thread - I could see why it makes people nervous. I mean I get why but it still makes me annoyed when I get the "he is abusing you" type comments/emails. I have a very controlled and isolated in essence I am Master's captive - willing captive.

Here were some questions....and then my answers...

Are you simply prohibited from making phone calls and/or walking out the door, or are there physical barriers?

I was told not to make phone calls or walk out the door without him - I am wired for obedience. I like to obey him. It feels odd if I don't do what he says. There are no barriers for me to not to make a phone call or walk out the door. And I am not going to get into the can I leave or not thing - I just don't want to leave. I don't want to walk out that door. If it was tested, I can't say what would happen as I haven't been in the situation.

For phone calls - all my friends know to ask in advance if they want to talk on the phone. The only exception is really my family. They call anytime. And Master has a few times said I am not available but it is very rare. And at those times it was because it just wasn't a good thing to talk to them at that time...something was going on where I couldn't talk.

Master worked outside the home when I first moved here so really I could have made calls - I could have walked out the door but I didn't. I didn't want to - I like my life.

Do you drive? have access to a car? I don't have a car. I didn't have a need for it when I arrived so we got rid of it. I do know how to drive and Master has me drive every so often so that I keep that up. Two years ago Master got hurt and I had to drive and do many things on my own it was very odd for me.

Have any r/l friends that you keep in touch with? yes several. Many have met Master too and think is great and told me I am happier and much more fulfilled with him then I ever have been. And one thing I think that makes it work is because this is what we both wanted. We both have a thing for isolation and captivity.

I understand that there are relationships that use isolation to an abusive extent. I really don't feel an outsiders perspective can help the person in the relationship see that though. I have been in abusive relationships in the past and it wasn't until I shook myself out of my denial - that I got it. No matter what anyone else had said. And now of course there are people who have said I am in an abusive relationship (usually online people - no one that knows me face to face has ever said that) and there are others who of course say that they see our relationship as being a very good one. We have really good communication of where things are at. As I said above, we both have a fetish (I guess is the closest word I can think of for it) for captivity and isolation so it is what we both wanted and I was happy to find someone I could have that type of relationship with that is also just a good person and wants me to be thriving as it is an asset for him.

We have had to deal with some isolation side effects that haven't been great. But they aren't earth shattering. And we/I know given time, if I had to do things on my own and be out in the world more - I could get back into the swing of things. It just would take time.


  1. A very nice post and nice to see a person write on a topic in such specifics. People often confuse things that can be signs of abuse with assuming or automatically judging it as abuse because they do not bother to try to look at the situation through someone else’s eyes.


  2. I enjoyed reading this post and many others. I love the personal glimpses into your life and the way you describe your life with your Master. I can feel the passion and the love that you have and that is refreshing to see in every day life.

    Have a wonderful day.


  3. Lin and Laurie, Thank you for your comments. Laurie thank you so much for your kind words!


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