Tuesday, March 23, 2010

March Questions: Transition

How do you transition from being very independent and having so much freedom to being a live-in slave? I didn't even consider that being a slave would ever be a part of my life and now I am am a slave. Although I love being my Master's slave, I am struggling with the lack of freedom.

I am going to start by saying the same thing I say in practically every post where someone asks me for advice....

Really transitioning is different for each person so something that has worked for me might not work for you. But please know that going from being "free" to being a slave - no matter how much you want it - still is a struggle. It is hard to let go of those freedoms even though we want to serve and please. So what you are going through is normal. For me, keeping that in mind helps. When I struggle and know that the struggle is a normal thing - it helps me let go of it. Or see it more clearly as a normal part of the phase.

I then think about why am I struggling is coming up. Is it just in certain situations? What sparks it and then try to analyze why you struggle with it? Then talk through it logically to yourself. Often when I take things apart a bit I can see that I am being totally illogical. Such as I might have a fear I am losing myself but when I actually look at the situation has there been anything to show I am losing myself? And almost all the time that answer is no.

Talk to your Master and share the struggles with him. Such as the scenario above - if you do feel you are losing yourself - talk to him about it? What things are making you feel that way? Is there any solution to help you not feel that way?

Next reminding myself that I want this during those moments helps also. It seems pretty silly. And it may be but saying that when I struggling with something I want so much helps because in the moment I think it can be easy to forget because our fears or doubts creep up and override our real intentions.

Take one step at time. Sometime we want it all so much that we get going too fast and end up overwhelmed by the reality. And then the struggles come up faster. But when we take it slow and just let each part of the transition get into place and feel good - those struggles happen less or at least just one at time instead of being barraged with them. And if you do feel things are going too fast - again talk to your Master about it.

As I said at the beginning it really is different for each person. But first and foremost know that struggles are a normal part of the transition.

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