I discovered there was a label that worked for what I was feeling and who I was when I stumbled upon a bulletin board for submissives in 1995. I found myself nodding along to many things that I read. After that I chatted with people, continued to read the bulletin boards as well as websites and I also ordered books. One of the first books I ordered was Different Loving by by Gloria Brahme, William Brahme and Jon Jacobs. Basically the book took fetishes and gave definitions for them as well as had interviews with people who did those fetishes. One thing they listed as a fetish was living the life 24/7.
I remember reading the interviews in the 24/7 section and knowing that is what I desired and wanted. My life until that point had a lot of D/s elements in it. I served my husband in many way, all decisions I consulted with him before hand and he had the final say in it, we had kinky sex in the bedroom and outside the bedroom he often could compel me to do what he wished by just telling me what he desired. We didn't do punishment. We didn't have heavy SM. We had just some light bondage, breath play, pulling hair, use of household items used as spanking implements and then rough grabbing. In the 24/7, the slaves were more controlled than I was with my husband. So the world of the 24/7 interviewees - intrigued me. That definition and thoughts on it really helped me form my early beliefs, desires and what I wanted to explore.
Reading, talking and sharing ideas and thoughts with people helped me formulate and expand on the basis of my desires. At that time having Different Loving give explanations for fetishes that I had no idea existed let alone had a name - was really helpful. Now days there are quite a few websites out there that give definitions for all the different fetishes. There are also lots of places to discuss and share your thoughts and help you hash out what you want and desire. Instead of using household implements (which can be fun though too) as I did when first learning, you can explore with fun fetish toys. Eden Fantasys has a community of people that share through reviews, articles and forums and can help someone new figure out what you want and desire.
There is a 3 part series on fetish definitions titled the Wild Kinky Alphabet that I think would be particularly helpful to those new to the BDSM world and exploring fetishes. These articles go through a very wide range of fetishes and I am sure will be helpful in explaining all the different kind of play and will maybe spark some area of interest that you might be discussing with your partner soon.