Thursday, July 11, 2013

Venturing out into the BDSM Community


I miss my Ohio BDSM community. It was made up of several amazing groups with diverse group of people and kinks. It wasn't always a perfect match for me, but really it can't be - it has to be about being around like-minded people and welcoming everyone.  I think the 2 groups I was mainly involved with always did a really good job of being inclusive to everyone.  From those groups, I formed an amazing circle of friends that I miss FIERCELY.  

The Ohio BDSM community recently went through some changes and that always kind of causes issues and growing pains.  Over the years I have seen just about every group/community go through changes and growing pains.  We as people change and evolve so why wouldn't a community grow and evolve too. 

In thinking about the Ohio groups, I had some very fond memories come up. I was talking to Master last night about my very first time I ventured out into the community.  I was a slave in a poly household. But at that moment I was the only one living with my Owner.  It was a very brief time of being alone with him and being alone without lots of people in and out of the house. So frankly - I got lonely and found someone bondage.com - a very nice woman who was submissive. She told me about Ohio SMART and that they had a submissive group that met once a month. So for my first venture into the community I went to a submissive meeting.

It was an interesting experience. I am so glad I did it. But it was a little odd for me at first. I was the only submissive in the group that identified as slave and lived it 24/7.

As a slave, I sometimes have different protocols then other submissives and bottoms around me. Such as that first meeting, they had a dominant coming to give a spanking demo. No where in the description of the evening did it say anything about that, when the leader contacted me when I RSVP'd never mentioned it - the description and her email only talked about about submissive women getting together to discuss BDSM topics.  So, I had no idea a male dominant was going to be there.  When it was announced he would be there soon, I said that I would need to leave and everyone asked why and so I told them. I said that I didn't know a male dominant would be there and didn't inform my Master. Really at first they had a hard time understanding it because they hadn't been around anyone in a Master/slave dynamic.  A girl there offered me her cell phone to call my Master (in the day and age where cell phones were just coming out) and ask  - so I did.  He allowed me to stay just not participate.  

It was interesting that after that meeting, they only had a few more with dominant's come to demo and always told me before hand. They had never given it thought before that it might go against what some relationship protocols and thankfully took that into account after meeting me.

My first time speaking was because of being involved with Ohio SMART. I am a HORRIBLE public speaker. Honestly horrible! But I remember that fondly as one woman came up to me after. She looked straight into my eyes and said, "I get it. I get you."  We were fast friends and I have so many amazing memories that include her. 

It is my hope that one day, because our local community growing, I will have many fond memories with friend made through it.  I know I am already really having some good ones.  Very thankful for the growing community and friends made through it!

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