Wednesday, July 24, 2013

30 Days of Kink - Day 23

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed?  How so?

Yes, of course.  When I was first exploring, I had quite a few things I thought I would never ever do or enjoy - such as golden showers. Never thought I would like them and never thought they would feel as they did - so thankful I took that leap of faith and submitted to doing it.  I never thought I would be into hoods and now I love them! Damn they turn me on. Really slipping a hood on pretty much sends me into a floaty space instantly. Thankful Master introduced me to them and that I enjoy them so much as they are one of his favorite kinks.

I think that early on in the exploring BDSM - I bought into a lot of the bdsm slogans and topics that came up.  Such as I was a firm believer in safe words early on, but now believe often good old fashioned communication is better.   I have been in situations where safewords and safe calls didn't protect me from someone that wanted to cross my boundaries. 

I have actually a couple essays out there that I don't totally agree with such as who is about.  I wrote that once long ago because it annoyed me that a dominant I knew often said it at times that really didn't call for it.  My end all in my relationship  though - it is about Master always. My first and last thoughts are always of Master and what he wants and desires. So that phrase works for this, but as I know I kind of go into in the essay - if it is only about one person always - that relationship won't last. Because if I wasn't happy and/or wasn't getting needs met, I wouldn't be here.  So it does need to be about both people. But I get that phrase different because of Master. 

Collars is another essay I wrote that I don't actually believe in many things in it. Like I don't believe in a collar of protection or a collar of consideration.  I feel sometimes again we complicate things and use those kind of titles or use it to hide behind it.  I think collar of protection often takes personal responsibility away from the submissive and that I don't like or get that.  I think sometimes we need to stand up and be responsible before we can surrender fully.    

In both of those essays, I notice I use the word power exchange in them. I don't even believe in those words anymore as I don't feel with Master I am exchanging power. I am surrendering to this will.  I don't have the power in this relationship, so how can I exchange power.

I know there are probably dozens of topics that my views have changed about over the years.  We are  human - we grow, change and evolve.  I am glad to see some things have changed over the years. It would be a fairly boring life I live if I didn't have things that changed.

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