5 Ways....

I was reading this "5 Ways to Love Yourself Completely - Right Now" and I realize that they are just good in general but as a person in service and placing in context of serving they work really well too.   The author Jess Weiner goes into each one with a little paragraph but I am just sharing the 5 ways and then my thoughts.


1. Forgive -One of the things she says is forgive yourself. I know I don't do that enough.  I hang on to my mistakes for a long time even little ones that I know Master probably isn't even thinking about - I still am not forgiving myself for making a mistake. Earlier in the week we ran a lot of errands and I only brought a few reusable shopping bags so we didn't have enough by the time we got into the last place. So had to use the store ones. I didn't beat myself up for that but Master is big on making sure you tie those plastic grocery store sacks so things dont' fall out and roll around in the back of the car.  I forgot to tie them and they had round cans in them so when took the first corner - out they all came rolling around the back.  Master got out at the stop light and tied the bags.  I have been beating myself up about this little mistake since.  It was a little mistake...I should get over it. Forgive myself and move on.

2. Take Small Steps of Action  - "Get out of your head and into your life."  is one quote from the text.  I have so much in my head that it stops me from trying and moving forward.  I just need to take even a small step of action. 


3. Practice Daily Grace  -   I really liked what she had to say about Practicing grace.  Those mistakes I talked about in #1 that I hang on to - well they are taking up space that could be used for other more important things. Ms. Weiner says to practice daily grace so that it is like a muscle.  I like to call muscle memory. It just becomes a part of you the more you use it. 


4. Pay attention to your Body - I know I am much better at this then I was when I was younger. I now can tell when my body needs rest or when things are wrong.  But when I was serving in the Poly Household - I often pushed myself and didn't listen to my body trying to tell me that I was pushing to hard. 


5. Make Friends with Patience and Progress - All of these are linked of course and #3 and this one are especially close.  If you are practicing daily grace then you will be able to more easily make friends with patience and progress. To see your growth in even small things and allowing yourself mistakes as they help us learn and grow. 


You can get the 5 Ways to Love Yourself Completely by Jess Weiner on her website. You have to fill in your email address and she emails them to you. 

Value & Contribution

I found this quote several weeks ago when I was going through things on my computer - trying to clear up some space.  I shared the quote with Master right away as I knew he would like it too. So now sharing it here too....

"A 'good' slave is one who has talents and attributes whose value and contribution is more than the maintenance you have to do to keep or inspire her service." ~ Soulhuntre 

Review: Expert Guide to Female Orgasms

DVD Cover

Several years ago Master and I went a workshop at Thunder in the Mountains by Tristan Taormino on Enemas. We really got a lot of good information from the workshop and thought she was a really good presenter. So when I saw she has a series of Sex Ed videos - I knew I would like to see them sometimes and I got my chance with Expert Guide to Female Orgasms. Tristan takes a different approach to the educational sex video using both education and porn. She uses porn stars in her video to demonstrate. I think that is a really interesting approach.

For the first 30 minutes approximately is the education portion by Tristan and then after that it is divided into 5 different couples being interviewed and having sex. Tristan describes the basics of the female orgasm, what happens as a woman becomes aroused and how that is expressed, the different parts of female sex anatomy, tips and suggestions to help achieve orgasm, and of course she stresses that every woman is different - so how each woman achieves an orgasm will be different. She mixes in the porn stars talking their personal experiences. All the information as well as sexual demonstrations are presented in a very open and non-judgmental, sex-positive light.

Tristan Taormino

Katie & Sean Michael

The five couples are - Katie St Ives and Sean Michael, Evanni Solei and Evan Stone, Jiz Lee and Madison Young, Dylan Ryan and Mr. Marcus, and Adrianna Nicole and James Deen. Before each scene starts there is an interview with each member of the couple. The females are asked how they have orgasms and what they need to have an orgasm. Some of them offer advice for achieving orgasm. I enjoyed hearing how each woman achieves orgasms as they were all different. Although the hitachi wand was a consistent star with each of them. I liked that they used sex toys as I feel many times couples do get intimidated by using toys. As Mr. Marcus says in the video he felt the first time someone wanted to use toys that he wondered if he wasn't "enough" - but now he sees them as just enhances the pleasure and it is part of the process to get there.

Evanni & Evan

I feel although they are porn stars they aren't acting. Maybe I am wrong but everything looks real. Their moves aren't overly pronounced as they are in porn movies - making sure that the camera gets that tongue on the pussy money shot.  No it is just couples having sex. It looks real. In one of the extra features on the DVD there is behind the scenes and Tristan is saying to Jiz and Madison that she doesn't allow anyone to fake an orgasm. And I watched the video before hearing that and felt they all were very real in their orgasms and interaction. Although they weren't "couples" in the sense that they are together enjoying ongoing intimacy - they were all enjoying themselves A LOT but it did lack some intimacy or at least I felt it did.

Dylan & Mr. Marcus

Besides the education portion and the five couples there are also several bonus features - Safer Sex, Kegel Exercises, Vibrator Guide, Masturbation Montage and Behind the Scenes. I really enjoyed all of these extra features. You are really getting a lot of video on this DVD.

My only criticisms of the video are that these are porn stars. Now I do think they did great. I enjoyed watching many of them and felt they all enjoyed each other but I do wish there would have been everyday couples with ongoing relationships and intimacy. I enjoyed the last 3 couples the most though. The first two couples were okay - they didn't turn me on much. I really liked Sean Michaels I just didn't feel Katie communicated very well. She came across ditzy which then turns me off when they had sex. I felt that Evanni communicated well but Evan Stone well he compared getting the female orgasm to fly fishing. Now he prefaces it with putting it in man speak but it still annoyed me. My mind has to be turned on for my body to be turned on - so because a couple actors made me cringe - it turned me off when they had sex. I did feel the other couples were very informative as well as very sexy.

Adrianna & James

Although James Deen said a few things that made me cringe too. He just sounded like a boy instead of a man. But he is right Adrianna exudes sex so I loved watching her. It was really hot seeing her facial expressions as she orgasmed. He also spits on her pussy - which I didn't find sexy at all. Adrianna said one thing too that I didn't feel was very good - she said that she felt those that haven't achieved orgasm weren't allowing themselves to have one (paraphrasing). And that bothered me. I know she was talking about those that never have had an orgasm - but it can be stretched to those who have trouble achieving aren't allowing themselves. Okay so that is hitting close to home - as the older I get I can at times have some trouble reaching orgasm - but I want to orgasm. I try. I am allowing myself to have it...as I want it very badly. But it just isn't as easy as that.

Jiz & Madison

My only other little annoyance is that the sex toys were covered with condoms and there is a feature on safe sex but yet many of the performers don't practice safe sex. I wish they would have all been covered - even if there wouldn't have been a safe sex feature on the video - I just prefer to see them practicing safe sex. If they had been couples in ongoing relationships that had a fluid bond then I wouldn't have had a problem at all seeing them without condoms.

Things I really liked about this video were that Tristan was very clear, open and sex-positive in her information. Mr. Marcus pulling Dylan's hair oh my....yes that set me off instantly! Really they were my favorite couple just really hot sex but the last three couples  turned me on.  I also really liked Dylan talking about the female ejaculation as I feel that will help so many women and men who don't know about it and want to know more. She did a good job of describing what it felt like and how she achieved it.

I feel the Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Female Orgasms is a good video for those who are wanting to know more about the female orgasm. I think it is especially good to watch with a partner. Master and I watched it together. I don't feel there was anything it didn't tell us that we didn't know but it might have given us some ideas to use that we haven't used in a while. Although there were some things I didn't like all that much, overall it was enjoyable, informative and a turn on.

Meeting a Friend

Master and I recently took a trip for his work. We had the extreme pleasure to meet someone I have known online for a long time. She is someone I have long been inspired by and admired her for domestic skills and dedication to service. Katie is a contributor to Domestic Servitude blog and has a tumblr - Daily Submission.

It was such a wonderful evening! Katie has been one of these people on my mental list of people I wanted to meet and just never thought I would. I mean I never thought I would get to her area. When I found out that we were going, I asked Master right away if it was okay if I contacted Katie about getting together and meeting. He said yes. He loves meeting lifestyles people - especially Master/slave couples as it is a rare occasion when we meet people with such similar paths.

Although I love meeting people especially that I have known for such a long time online - I still have social anxiety issues. So just calling and talking to her to set up times when we arrived in her area - I was so nervous. But at the same time I was so excited about meeting her.

Katie made us dinner and she is a hostess. She loves cooking for people and having them enjoy it. And we DID ENJOY dinner! OH my goodness - so so good! We had things from their garden. She made a cherry tart for dinner that was OUTSTANDING! I am wanting a piece right NOW please? :) It was that good. Katie sent us home with a basket of homemade goodies. She is just so thoughtful! Such a wonderful hostess.

We had such a wonderful time with her and her Master. We laughed and talked about everything from lifestyle things to politics and just had great conversations. I got a tour of her garden and home and it just was everything I imagined when I think of her. I loved it! Loved seeing her in this place that makes her so happy - it is so lovely! She is a beautiful person - just so lovely. I am so grateful that we got to meet and talk face to face. And I hope that maybe I can come back with Master again. It is people like her and her Master that make us miss being around lifestyle people of like mind. We loved being able to just be ourselves and not having to watch our words/conversation. It was nice being around people who understand our path also and don't judge it and walk a similar path too.

Katie has some writings on the Domestic Servitude blog. I don't think I have everything tagged with her label yet as I just started going back to label her posts. The Dandelion Massage Oil recipe is one of the things she gave us in the basket.

Review: Twisted Love Ties

I will tell you I was excited to try these out because it is a really great idea. Quick and easy bondage without having to break out the rope, cuffs, locks, or chains. Just wrap, twist and tada! What could be easier? We love everything that goes into restraining and bondage. I love rope bondage and Master loves cuffs and chains. Both our likes take up time to prepare to get it wrapped up and tied, fastened or locked. But if you are going at it hot and heavy, those things often aren't going to cut it. You don’t want to take the time for some intricate rope bondage or sort through stuff to get the wrist cuffs out and then find the right length of chain and make sure we know where the keys are to the locks on the cuffs in the middle of getting down and dirty. With the Twisted Love Ties we could grab and go without a great deal of pause in our fun.

Okay that is what I thought and I don't doubt we can do that, but unfortunately the Love Ties have a few problems. They can be twisted around the wrist/ankle to tightly with a great deal of ease. But they aren’t like rope or leather - where you can cut through it if necessary. You can’t do that with these due to the metal/wire center it has. You have untwist all the wraps to get out. On the other hand - on some ties I tested, I was able to just flip my hand over and slip out. While the metal/wire center makes the twist tie strong to pull on, if you want secure them in bondage, that’s going to take some additional planning and setup. The front of the packaging demonstrates a tie that looks like it might work, but if she twists her wrists a certain way, she could easily slip out (shown on the right in the green circle). That isn’t to say that you can’t get the twist bindings tight. You can, but as with any other form of bondage, pay close attention so that you don’t cut off circulation.

What I think these are ideal for is when being tied to something - such as a headboard, spreader bar, some tie down point (we have lots of hook eyes on our bed for bondage). I think they will be good for quickly tie to restraint for a short time such as being pushed down on the bed and taken. “Yes please!” I also think these would be great for traveling so that you don't need to bring a bunch of toys and they can be discreet when in a suitcase. They are innocuous enough to where most people wouldn’t even hazard a guess what they could be used for. Master and I spent time making up funny different explanations for the Twisted Love Ties such as a chic new belt. But really I do think they almost look like a bungee cord or just something very non-noticeable to me.

The Twisted Love Ties are 34" inches and come packaged two in set which can because of the length allow for a lot of different twists and ties. They have some kind of flexible wire core with foam padding that is covered by a stitched nylon material casing. Some ties we did caused the ends to stand up and were close enough to my face that I could have poked myself if we didn't tuck them under. It is covered completely so no sharp pointy edges but still can poke yourself so be careful with that and with not wrapping them too tightly. They go on tighter then they look at times so can pinch the skin and be abrasive against the ankles and wrists.

In all, the Twisted Love Ties are a good quick portable innocuous bondage solution. Even with the small setbacks, it is a quick and easy approach to bind your partner in nothing flat. Be mindful of how the ties feel against jointed areas and watch out for those end points but otherwise have fun with them as I am sure we will be throwing them into the suitcase with a few other sex toys at the end of the month when we go on a long road trip.

Can't Breath

I have been sick...well struggling with my asthma. I am almost at 3 weeks of not being able to breath and it really has got me down. A couple weekends ago we were suppose to go and be with some friends moving to the area. Help them paint and just hang out and talk but with my asthma we couldn't. And then this past Friday there was a munch that we couldn't go to. There are quite a lot of smokers and my asthma was really raging out of control so I knew I couldn't handle it. And it turned out to be the biggest munch that our area has had so far so really bummed we missed it.

Because I can't breath - I don't have a lot of energy and I just can't do a lot without causing more breathing problems. So things I had under control have slipped out of control again...like the house. It was clean and I was finally maintaining it pretty good and then I got sick and now I can't keep up.

I have several obligations I have fallen behind on - one being Domestic Servitude blog. I have several posts started - some I just needed to do some photos and don't have the energy. It is very frustrating so I have gotten down. I have had several days of melt downs which of course doesn't help my asthma. Being upset just exasperates it more of course so that doesn't help me but I just get so down about not being able to do anything. Master of course has been great and understanding. He has gone out of his way to help me in anyway he can. Even to the point of thinking of getting me a nebulizer to have here at home.

It is so funny - I didn't have to use my inhaler for over 2 years. And then this spring allergies started up and I needed it. I was shocked. I had to have my doctor call in a new one as all mine were expired. This inhaler has a counter on it and I am now down to 95 puffs left it started with just under 200. So in just a few months I have used it that much. But I have used it the most in the last few weeks. I am using it anywhere from 4 to 6 times a day - everyday. I have a doctors appointment coming up so see if there is anything else I can be doing. But still seems allergy related so not sure there is much they can do for me.

I just hope whatever is causing it to rage out of control goes away and things get back to normal. I just can't live this way. It sucks even more since I finally had gotten so many other things more under control - like having less migraines and my sciatica not causing me hardly any pain and able to walk normally. I want to be able to have those good days back.

Hurricane

Oh my.....yes! This is not a work safe video. :)

Abandoned Toys

I asked yesterday on Twitter "does anyone have BDSM toys in their collection that they really like but they just don't use that often? Why does that happen?"

We have quite a few toys we don't play with and my take on why that happens with us is that we get caught up in the heat of the moment and just grab what is on/in our nightstand and Master uses his hands A LOT....spanking, grabbing, squeezing, slapping and punching. So we just don't make it to the bigger type toys like floggers, cane, whip and so on.

I asked the question because Master used a toy on me recently that we rarely use but I LOVE. It hurts like hell but I love it. Master and I both talked about how we need to play with those toys more. Oddly for us it is setting aside time to play in that manner. We play with sex always but to "scene" per se we don't do often so need set that time aside.

We both talked about how much fun we had and how relaxing it was for both of us. And with Master's busy schedule he really could use some down time and getting frustrations out by beating me - well I am all for that.

Pleasurists

rough 02 by freakshow9

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. If you like what you see and want more of it be sure to follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists 137? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists 139? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday July 17th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Want a shiny new toy? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• BodyWand Massager Giveaway Deadline: July 15th @ Midnight Eastern.


• Curvelicious Giveaway Deadline: July 15th.


• Giveaway! Deadline: July 15th @ Midnight Mountain.


• First Mate Silicone Dildo Giveaway Deadline: July 24th.


• Shay’s Contest! Deadline: July 30th.


• Crystal Causes $12,000 sex toy giveaway & community fundraiser Deadline: July 31st.


• Buy Short Erotic Story PURR And Win A Free Sex Toy! Deadline: July 31st.


• Giveaway! Deadline: August 7th.


• Fetish Fantasy Pink Passion Bondage Kit Giveaway Deadline: August 10th @ 11:59pm Eastern.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus
On to the reviews…
Vibrators

• Marble 5″ by Mistress Kay


• Doc Johnson Alumination by The Nymphomaniac Ness


• Little Secret Kiss by buzzvibe


• BodyWand Rechargeable Massager by Mistress Kay


• WetForHer’s Three Luxe by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew


• Dual Action Hummingbird by Kit O’Connell


• Curvy Toyfriend by Bzzingbee


• BodyWand by Bzzingbee


• Tantus Tease by Wilhelmina Wang


• Black Magic Pleasure Kit by Mistress Kay


• Now & Again by Kisses and Kinks

Dildos

• The Devil by Bzzingbee


• Rainbow Amor by Kitty Stryker


• Bree’s Colossal Cock by PandaDementia


• Amethyst Dildo by LadyToyBox


• Glass Pleasure with Swirls by the bedroom blogger


• Icicles No.17 by Toys in Love


• Captain by Red Vinyl Kitty

Anal Toys

• Tantus B-Bomb by Danae


• Vixen Tristan 1 by Beanfiddler

Sleeves, Cock Rings, & etc.

• Cyberskin Pussy Stroker by LadyToyBox

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Wet Naturals Silky Supreme by Pixel


• Sliquid Swirl by The Nymphomaniac Ness


• Romance Pleasure Kit by Teagan Shepard


• Sliquid Swirl Blue Raspberry by The Nymphomaniac Ness


• Shunga Divine Oral Pleasure Gloss by CLP


• LELO Flickering Touch by LadyToyBox

BDSM/Fetish

• Spartacus Fleece Lined Blindfold by Pixel


• Green Lightning Double Trouble Acrylic Cane by Mistress Kay


• Marilyn Wrist Cuff by Red Vinyl Kitty


• Pinwheel by K__

Adult Books & Games

• Miss Vera’s Crossdress for Success by Mistress Kay


• Sex at Dawn by Kit O’Connell


• Pandora: An American in Prague by Mistress Kay


• Carnal Machines by Kitty Stryker

Adult DVDs & Porn

• Behind The Red Door by Ginger Leigh


• Songs in the Key of Sex by J.D. Bauchery


• Addicted to Pleasure by Ginger Leigh


• Nowhere Angels by J.D. Bauchery


• This Ain’t Happy Days XXX (Disc 1) by Ginger Leigh

Sex Furniture

• Liberator Black Label Wedge/Ramp Combo by True Pleasures


• Liberator Escape by the bedroom blogger


• Liberator Wedge by Beanfiddler

Lingerie

• Anais Light Up Stappy Chiffon G-String by The Nymphomaniac Ness

Miscellaneous

• The Understudy Kit by Kitty Stryker


• Fun Factory Teneo Duo by Pixel

Review: B-Bomb Anal Vibrator

My first impressions of the B-Bomb Anal Vibrator were it's color, a pretty deep purple and the moderate shape and size in comparison to other anal vibrators. When Master lubed me up to insert it, I didn't need to stop and catch my breath or relax my ass muscles. The silicone has flexibility that ensures it sliding in very easily. Inside the base of the anal vibrator is a small battery bullet that contains three small watch batteries which were included. Once the batteries are installed in the sealed bullet, it fits very snugly inside the silicone base. A small button at the bottom of the bullet springs the vibrator to life. When inserted, the vibrations are not overly powerful where they numb you out, but they were just perfect stimulation to keep me turned on. Master spanked me with it in and it was a very nice combination of sensations - both vibrations of the B-bomb anal vibrator and spanking together.

There are a couple of things I didn't like about this anal vibrator. Due to my latex allergy, I need silicone based products. This B-bomb anal vibrator is silicone but it is a tacky (as in sticky) one. However it's not completely sticky but it is just a little tacky to the touch. For instance, when I lay it down (as it can't stand which I will get to in a moment) on the bed or a towel it comes away with some fuzz on it. Not much but a little - I just know I will need to be careful not to lay it on anything that it can come away with a lot of lint.

My other problem is the vibrator doesn't go all the way in. I can see by the design, it's good because it makes it easier to open the vibrator to replace the batteries and to pull it out of the base of the plug, however it sticks out a bit and thus making it very impractical. After we were done playing, I turned the vibrator off but didn't take it out. When I rolled over and sat flat, the B-Bomb turned itself on again due to the on/off button that's located at the base of the bullet. This isn't the type of plug you could wear while just sitting around the house as it would turn on and off as you move, but during sex and having fun in bed - it did great!

One thing I read about AFTER using the B-Bomb was the instruction to use a little water based lube on the bullet before putting it into the base of the plug. Then that way it won't be so difficult to take out and put back in after cleaning it. If you don't lube the bullet, it is very hard to get the bullet back out of the plug. This bullet is waterproof so just a little water based lube on it is suppose to be okay and help with that problem. I haven't tried it yet but I will be NEXT time for sure.

The B-bomb did give me the sensation that it wanted to fall out. After it was inserted, the plug came back out a little but not all the way. During the entire time we played with the B-Bomb, it just wasn't snug in my ass but I don't think that is a big deal. It still felt very good even though it wasn't snug. I still felt the fullness of it in my ass and the vibrations to be quite pleasurable. However, I did find it starting to be pushed out when I had an orgasm, but I've had my vaginal vibrators do that too. But I really again don't find this to be a big problem as I am having the orgasm so I am really done with the anal vibrator anyway.

I think this anal vibrator is good for those who have already started out with a small butt plug and might ready for the next step. This is a good toy for those who are experienced, but who have not tried a vibrating anal plug. It isn't overly big but does have a moderate full shape to it. The silicone composition makes it nice to slide in and it has nice vibrations sending wonderful little tingles of sensation through the ass. The B-bomb has lots of options when cleaning it - you can use it with soap and water, toy cleaner, a ten percent bleach solution, wipes or you can boil it or stick it on top rack of your dishwasher to sterilize. Since it is a silicone toy it is best to use a water based lube. And not to store it next to any other silicone sex toys. Over all I really do think it is a nice anal vibrator and I am sure we will be breaking it out in our play often.

Connection

* I got my hair cut - almost 11 inches off. I haven't had it this short probably since I was in high school. I wanted something different and decided it was hair and if I didn't like it - it would grow back out. And well I don't really like it. I think I will like it a bit better when it just grows out a bit more. But right now it is too short. All this was with Master's approval. He likes it but knows it wasn't what I was going for when I went to get it cut.

* The hair stylist was asking me how I wanted my bangs. And I said to the side and longer. I told her I usually did shorter straight across but since I am going to part on the side I wanted longer to the side. And she said well since you are so young you can pull that off. And I kind of laughed. I said, "I am 43 - is that young?" Because she had to have been in her late 30's so calling me young made it seem like she thought I was I was younger then her. And it turns out she did. She was stunned. She kept repeating that there was no way she would have guessed I was 43. She thought I was really young. She never said how young but I am guessing younger then her. So that was a nice compliment. But I thought the whole bangs comment was weird that having bangs on the side was only for young women. When did that happen?

* I don't have pictures of my hair yet - because I don't like it.

* I am happy to report though Master can grab my hair and get a good grip into it. Because the other day he came home from an appointment and came in the door grabbed my hair and bent me down...just kind of wielding me which way he wanted and then finally kissed me. Kissed me long and deep and hard - all while his hand was still pulling my hair. Made my knees weak.

* Master's girl aria came to the house for the first time on Sunday. This will be a more regular thing now which is a good thing. But it stressed me to the max. I am obsessive about the house and guests. And this is her first visit - so she is a guest even though she is becoming family. I know that probably doesn't make sense but I am neurotic.

* Right now the business - has been taking my time full-time. And so I just don't have time to keep the house up. I was cleaning the bathroom the other day and dusting the tops of these lights we have at the very top of the ceiling that need a step stool to clean - and they hadn't been cleaned in I don't know how long and it bothered me A LOT. I thought about when Master didn't have his own business and worked outside the home - and I was basically a domestic slave full-time - the house was really clean. And now it gets to be too much. I don't know how other slaves do the full time job and all the domestic stuff. And it isn't just time - I mean I know I can manage my time better but it is also energy. By the time I have done all the work for the business I am so mentally exhausted that I feel physically exhausted as well.

* I mentioned in a post a while back a couple that might move to the area and then decided against it - well the are moving to a nearby town. So we are very excited to have them close. They are in town before moving into their new home and so we got together with them for breakfast yesterday morning. It was so nice to catch up with them. And so great that they will be closer to us now.

* We went to a local munch. It was our first and I know it will get better once we get to know people. I also know I was really spoiled by my Ohio friends - they made it easy to make friends being so warm and welcoming. I miss them so much.

* Just had a movie night with Master and aria - watched the first Harry Potter movie. Gearing up for the final movie. During the movie Master reached over and just grabbed one of my breasts like he has a vice grip instead of a hand. Damn it hurt. Just sitting here typing it - makes my breast throb from pain again.

Master and aria are having some quality time now. Master and I are spending tomorrow together. I got my period last night and right away I thought that might ruin our plans and it was like he was reading my mind because he said to me that is not going to ruin our plans. Unfortunately I did hurt my knee today so I hope that doesn't ruin anything. Did get a chance to play with a new toy recently and will have a review up on it in a few days. Sunday aria will be back over to spend the day with Master.

Well I am going to take some time to just do some emails and work on my review. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Review: The Violet Ripple Anal Plug

Master and I went out to dinner one night and on the way home we picked up our snail mail. In the mail box was package. Neither us could recall ordering anything, so I puzzled over the return label to see who it was from. It was so discreetly packaged I couldn't figure it out. My eyes lit up when it dawned on me that it had to be the anal plug from Eden Fantasys!

We had just talked that morning over breakfast about setting aside time the next morning to play because our weekend was going to be incredibly busy and we wanted time to connect and enjoy each other. So the plug arriving the day before we were going to play seemed to be perfect timing.

I was really surprised by how pretty the anal plug is. When I took it out the package and set it on the table it looked so pretty just sitting on the table and well - it is sexy looking too. That made me want to play with right away. Every time I look at it sitting on my night stand I think, "oh yes lets play" - it just is so pretty and sexy. The Violet Ripple Anal Plug is an attractive color and elegant design. It is made of incredibly smooth Pyrex glass (no sharp edges, no seams, nothing that might cut or scrape) and it can be cleaned very easily. You can even put in the dishwasher. I washed it with hot soapy water - just like I was washing dishes (but just washed it alone of course.) It comes with a little drawstring bag to store it in. I like that as it gives it a little protection instead of just rolling around in the drawer that I store many of my sex toys.

I am not new to anal play. I really enjoy it even though it is something we don't do that frequently. Even though I'm not a beginner - I don't feel I am just able to slip a plug in and go. So when it came time to play, Master put plenty of lube on me and the toy. He slipped fingers in and out before trying the plug to help me relax a little bit.

The Violet Ripple's caused some uncomfortableness when it reached the widest point upon insertion. I would have to ask Master if he could stop for a moment. After taking a few breaths, I could relax and then he can continue pushing the plug in. After it slides in, it just feels heavy inside. It's made from solid glass, so it makes sense that it will be heavier than a rubber or silicone one. There is no give to the plug. Heavy feels good to me, like it won't come out as some of the other plug products I've experienced before.

I had it in for about an hour the first time just sitting and doing things. I even had an opportunity to wear it out in public and had no issues. The hardness of the glass might be difficult for some people to take but I do have some extra padding on my bottom so that might make a difference. I do notice the plug inside, but that isn't a bad thing to me. I actually notice it is there more because where it stretches and goes thin around the neck of the plug. I just feel that stretching even after it has been in a while. I become very sensitive to the feeling of it in me, so walking around, sitting or tending to things - I notice it. It is a good sensitive sensation to me where it turns me on.

After reading some of the reviews and comments on Eden Fantasys, there has been the worry about the base being too small. I LOVE it! I absolutely love the fact it doesn't have a wide base to it. I didn't have any problems with it slipping all the way in, nor do I get the sense I would ever have a problem with it doing that. I love how close it fits on my anus opening. Many of my previous anal plugs had a wide base on them that had a square or oddly shaped such as the one pictured below.

With previous butt plugs, the square base usually sat between my ass cheeks. When I walk with the plug, what does that do to the plug? It moves that base....moving it back and forth, back and forth - just like you are unscrewing it ... and yes that is exactly what ends up happening so that they come right out. It wouldn't matter what size the plug was either. I've had larger sizes than the Violet Ripple and they would almost always start to pull it out when I walked because of the movement of my butt cheeks moving the base and eventually pull it downward and out. Thankfully the Violet Ripple isn't that way. Although the hardness of the edges made me fully aware the plug was there - it never felt like it was going to fall out when I moved - even though it was heavy. One would think that with the additional weight of the plug, that there would be a greater tendency for it to fall out, but I didn't get that feeling.

Because of the smaller base, the Violet Ripple was harder for me to insert and remove by myself. Mainly this happened because my fingers get slippery with lube. So once I finally get my ass and plug lubed up, I have to make sure to clean off my fingers so that I can get a good grip on the plug to insert it. Because the plug is made from glass and has a smaller base, it kept slipping from my fingers when I had lots of lube on them.

When I found out I was allergic to latex, I was very disheartened as I had to throw out a bunch of my sex toys where I wasn't positive if they were silicone or not. Anal plugs weren't something I had replaced - yet. So I was really excited to have an opportunity to try out the Violet Ripple anal plug and I can tell you that I am not disappointed in the least. I can't wait to use it again and again. It is a sexy and a pleasure to use. I know it will get a lot of use.

*photos in the post are mine. To see better photos of the Violet Ripple Anal Plug please go to Eden Fantasys

I'm Coming Out

Is there any way to come out without having the Diana Ross song I'm Coming Out in my head? I don't think so....



Last year when both my Uncle and my former Master died, my depression really took a downward spiral and I sat in my doctors office and started crying. He called in the therapist from down the hall. And since that day - I have been seeing a therapist. I am so thankful for it. It has helped so much not only for my grief but just helped me with other issues I had going on.

I have not outted myself to her about the M/s relationship I have with Master, but I have told her about some of my past relationships - that I enjoyed kink and that I have been poly in past relationships. I also told her I was an escort. But she doesn't know anything about my current relationship dynamic. Master has been in support for me coming out to her about our relationship. But I just haven't been comfortable with it. Although I adore her and trust her to be very open-minded as she has been about everything I have told. I know bottom line if she feels something is harming me she will tell me. And I don't want to hear it if she thinks that some of my problems stem from our dynamic. Yes, we do think that some of my problems do stem from it because of the isolation and the dynamic creating co-dependency issues that cause a chain reaction of other issues such as I now have social anxiety issues that I have always had but now are amplified because of the isolation and because I do everything with Master.

A little history, I have done therapy in my late twenties to mid-thirties. Every therapist I came out to was very uncomfortable with the kink and D/s. It was the reason I stopped going as I felt it was making my relationship with my therapist too uncomfortable and I was sick of feeling judged by it so I stopped going even though I felt I still needed some help to sort through some things.

So there is that little voice sounding off inside me that I might be judged. The hard part is that I like my current therapist so much that I don't want to do or say anything that might hurt that connection I've made with her. While I realize she isn't like any of my past therapists the insecurity remains.

Bottom line, I am so thankful I finally gave in to seeing someone. My doctor had asked me repeatedly over the years if I wanted to go to see someone. I have been on anti-depressants for the last couple of years. So when we have our yearly review of medications, he asks if I want to talk to someone and I've always said no. Too many bad experiences and the feeling of being judged I had to wrangle the thoughts in my head about starting over with my life history with someone new. As it was, it took almost 2 sessions to just do the intake with her.

But with last years events...I needed help. I am so thankful that my doctor pulled in my therapist and I am so fortunate that we've clicked. I mean really instantly I felt comfortable with her and I just started spilling. She made me feel comfortable and she is really good at giving me a perspective that works for me - in a way that makes me be able to see it. She gets inside my head really easily - knows how I tick. It is really amazing sometimes she knows what I am thinking when I feel I am sitting there straight faced but having an "Oh Shit" moment. She knows it too. She has helped me in communicating in difficult situations like with my father who is so hard to talk to - who has a knack for pushing my buttons. It's been incredible how she's helped me in so many ways.

So skipping ahead a bit. Several months ago Master started seeing someone local and it is hard to not talk about it - in therapy. It was hard not mention Master's girl. (I don't have a name to call her in this blog yet - something we will work on though) I've had some issues. Issues I felt my therapist could help me sort through. So with Master's blessing, I came out to my therapist about the poly.

WOW!

She handled it AMAZINGLY!

It was that moment where I wished everyone was like her! Really every issue - the kink, the escorting - she has always handled so well. I asked her if she knew what poly was and she gave me the definition without having to go to a book or to the web. When I had told her about Kam and poly (early on in our sessions), we just went over things briefly. Ever since then I didn't know if she even knew what I meant when I mentioned poly before. I had explained to her that when I moved in with Kam, he was involved with more than one woman with all of our knowledge and consent. I discussed that I enjoyed it but also some of the issues I had with it. I told her towards the end of that relationship, I dated multiple men and women - again with everyone's knowledge and consent.

She told me that whatever is done between consenting adults she felt was fine as long as everyone was okay with it. (Insert gaping mouth expression.) No ridicule, no condemnation, no criticism. Then when I told her about Master seeing his girl, the same thing. No qualms, no judgment, no problem. She has really great views about poly. How I feel she gets it, stems from some of the things she has said to me about poly are the same things I've said to others who have approched me for advice. I guess sometimes it is hard for me to take my own advice, but hearing it from her has been good. She has a different perspective on other things though too, so that helps too to hear another view. She just in general has a wonderful view on poly which makes even more relaxing to open up and share. We had a whole rant one day when we were talking about sex and poly - and she said "Americans are just to uptight about sex."

She has some different views though that just wouldn't work in my dynamic so I've had to just politely nod. Will I out myself someday that I'm in the M/s, bdsm lifestyle? I really don't know. Master says I will. But I do know she has been great about everything else I have told her so part of me thinks she'll get it. Of course there is the other part of me that worries about how all of this will be seen in the big picture. I just know that there have been times when I just sit there looking at her like wow are you for reals? I have lucked out to have such a great therapist and glad I have come out to her about the poly.

Tug & Slap

After suckling Master's cock for a while last Saturday, he pulled my head up by my hair - pulling on it fairly hard. And it instantly hit that spot in me....where it turned me on from my head to my toes. My nipples went from soft to hard and I had little goose pimples on my body from just that sensation. Master and I hadn't had any other SM play so it had just been that pull on the hair that made me wet instantly.

Master tugged on my hair just a little harder and then slapped me HARD. An orgasm ripped through my body fast. I haven't had that happen in a while where I came just from my hair being pulled and one single hard slap to the face. But damn it was good. And it kept me dripping wet all day long and so needful that I masturbated about 5 times.

Master's Moods

There is a thread on FetLife about how slaves pick up and react to their Owner's moods. This has always been a problem for me with Master. When he didn't have his own business and worked outside the home, his hours were insane and he was always stressed so he would come home cranky quite a bit and whatever he was feeling quickly became how I felt too. It was hard for me to not to take his moods personally too. I often felt as though he was mad at me even though logically I knew it was his job. But his demeanor along with the mood just made it feel like he was mad at me. So it was hard for me to shake off.

At one point I started to try be so cheerful and happy that it would help his mood but it didn't usually help his mood. And just frustrated me and made me cranky too. I only found 2 things that helped make get him out of that mood but both are hard to accomplish when he is cranky. It took a lot of clever and cunning work on my part and timing - timing had to perfect - and that was to make him laugh. And I am not a funny person. I just don't make people laugh so it takes lot thought on my part and timing to get it done right. And when Master is mad not a lot of things seem funny to him so again takes just the right things to make him laugh. And the other thing that will work but again timing has to be right is to coax him out of his pants so I can give him a blowjob. A blowjob does wonders for his mood. :)

Now that he works at home - he is cranky less often but when he is, I am still a sponge soaking up his mood. He gets up before me and if I get up in a good mood and he is in bad mood - it can ruin my whole day even if he gets in a better mood by the end of the day. I have had depression on and off my whole life and unfortunately sometimes that mood can make me sink. I just get really spiraling into it. And again even though he might get out of the mood - doesn't mean I do. I just have trouble pulling myself out at times.

We also have to add in that we are in a poly relationship because it of course works that if he is having problems in his other relationship that can bleed into ours. And that is hard to deal when he becomes distracted and moody because of it. And vice versa - he and I are having a problem and it bleeds to them. And is distracted and moody with her. So it becomes a chain reaction.

I think it common that those in relationships feel the moods of others in the relationship. I know that Master at times feels my moods too. For us though we try to be open and clear about what we are feeling so that the other person knows it isn't there stuff. Master will tell me that he isn't mad at me that he is having a bad day with work things and that helps me not soak those emotions up as much. Or I just ask what is going on to see if I can help and then help and if not it helps me take a step back from it. Of course it doesn't always work as I said above I have a history of depression so I can get caught into the spiral of emotions. But trying is what matters. And keep trying is what matters. And sometimes it works.