I think I am getting a cold, which I am not thrilled about.
Tonight I am feeling very alone.
I feel Jackie is pulling away because she is getting upset about going to Italy for 5 months and not seeing Daddy or I. I know she is busy getting ready to leave but I also feel she is avoiding us a little. Daddy has been very quiet and withdrawn for weeks because of stress in our lives.
Last week I did a little drawing. I worked on something for Moni for her birthday and something for Di for Christmas. I really liked feeling the pastels, colored pencils and ink pen in my hand again. It was hard but very gratifying afterwards even though I am not thrilled with the work I did it was a start and some of the base ideas are good starts for what I want to create.
Saturday night was a party for one of the local BDSM organizations we attend. The food was really good. Everyone did a great job on that. The decorations were great too.
We had a long table and kept having to add chairs too it to be able to get all of our friends around it. : ) It was nice to see everyone!
This is from the FAQ on Internal Enslavement (http://www.masterslave.org.uk/enslavement/iefaq.html)
“The Enslavement Hypothesis is that there are submissives who have an overwhelming need to be possessed by a Dominant. Given the right environment, the submissive can be coaxed out from behind the protective walls she has built during her life and made to expose all of her Self to her Master. Among other things this requires that he creates an environment which is emotionally safe and in which her underlying character will be accepted, probably for the first time in her life. During this process, the bond between the submissive and her Master becomes sufficiently strong than she can no longer break it herself, and she has then been enslaved.”
Interesting concept.
There was a post to one of the lists I am on….(I got permission to use this first. Thank you John Sir.)
“The only way to get a submissive to trust you enough to let you break down her fears is to create a security blanket where she can be open with you enough to tell you what her needs and fears are. Also its important for the dominate to do the same thing if you can't be open with her how can she be open with you……. Its called intimacy but on a level that most people cannot understand.”
I agree with this. I also think it is a hard job. The level of trust and intimacy involved is deep. And it takes a lot of hard work to get there.
On the part of the Dominant has to be open too….
I am not sure. I want the Dominant to be open and honest – expressing that they are human. I am not sure I want to know if my Owner has fears he/she cannot do it – it as in be my Owner…control me…..be dominant with me.
And if they are questioning that what does it mean? And if I am questioning their doubts what does it mean?
I think lots of people understand intimacy and even say the want it but not many people are willing to do the work to get there or are just scared of what will happen when they do get to that level.
I know intimacy is scares me.
I chatted with Honeyrose online today. We talked of her life and what is going on with her. Lots of hard things coming up for her.
It is so strange how her and my life parallel at times. I mean she met GZ about the same time I met Daddy. Some of the same problems Daddy and I have had her and GZ have…it is just strange how things parallel.
I really know how hard these next few months are going to be for her, but I know she can do it.
I miss her lots and cannot wait to go to Europe to see her. : )
Okay I guess I will stop babbling…
Good night….
Peace & Serenity,
danae
