Sweet Updates

Last Week (wrote December 23 and 24th)

This week has been interesting to say the least…..

Sunday night Dec 17th – Jackie forgot to call when she got back to school and so I was panicking. I left a lot of messages on her machine hoping that she or one of her roommates would come in and call me and tell me she was alright just finishing up school business or something like that. I am very thankful I had Di around that night! She was incredible as always! She called the highway patrol for me because I was so upset I did not think I could get Jackie’s full name out. Anyway about 12:30 – 1am Jackie called – because she has just checked her messages. She apologized a hundred times. I was just happy that she was safe. She had just forgot to call.

Monday – I spent the day baking and cleaning. And I wrote a very long letter to Moni, because her and my friendship has been strained since after my birthday when the first of the grand chaos drama started – not sure why I do not expect chaos dramas when the 2 that started it are always in chaos dramas. I think they thrive on it.

After reading my letter, Moni called upset. Her and I cry easy. We feel deeply I guess that is one reason we cry easily.

My email had been oh so great timing – uggghh. Her and her Master broke up on Sunday. It is hard to see people in pain. I know that there is a lot of grieving going on between them both.

We set a time to have lunch Thursday to discuss all that is going on.

Tuesday – I did nothing almost all day!

Wednesday – I talked with Mistress DM online. We of course as always had an interesting discussion.

Thursday – I had a 5-hour lunch with Moni. Her and I had so much to cover. She is going through the grieving process – which is hard.

She has been associating with someone who has hurt me a few times. And that hurts. She is still going to associate with him and that hurt more. I guess I kept flashing back to my friend that was seeing the guy that raped me and she said, “well he has not hurt me.”

I hope Moni does not get hurt. Michael will not let that happen though I know that for sure.

Someone else I have been hurt by one to many times had purposely tried to hurt Moni and my friendship. Did she accomplish that? Maybe bruised it, but I think eventually it will heal and come back. I know it did not accomplish the thing the person set out to do.

I had lied to Moni. Ironically one of the reasons I lied was to protect the person who ended up telling Moni. The other main reason is just because I have a deep need to protect my family so I do sometimes what I feel will protect them and ends up being a big mistake. Moni and I have had this connection and I harmed it by telling her lie. I am sorry that I hurt her.

Friendship hurts because of the expectations we create on each other. I expect my friends will give me loyalty and what we each view as loyal is different and that can end up hurting people.

Lots of things said during the lunch – it was 5 hours – some things that will be with me forever.

Friday – I have been worrying about Jackie all week. Her mom had surgery on Monday and I saw her online only briefly. She said the surgery was not good but not bad either. So not sure what exactly that means but know everything is very hard on her. Daddy and I had not heard from her in 3 days on Friday so we were worrying lots.

Friday was really cold. I had things to do and of course my car started making terrible noises! So I did not get everything accomplished that I needed to Friday during the day. Friday night Daddy and I had dinner with a friend.

Then I came home and made a pan of bars.

Saturday – We got mail from Jackie! : ) In the email it said she would call on Sunday. Saturday was Moni’s birthday! I have her present and card sitting here and will need to get it to her sometime soon. Daddy got up to take the car in (but they could not fix it.) And then he went out shopping. While he was out I made 3 dozen cinnamon rolls, cookies and banana bread. He came home we then had some friends over for a little bit. Then we got ready to go to SJ’s for dinner. We had a nice time there : ) Daddy got a poster that was SOOO him from SJ. It is a poster of a gorilla with this scowl on his face and it says “I’m sooo Not Amused!” It is soo Daddy lol I got a very cute post with precious moments noah’s ark on it. I collect Noah’s arks so it was very appropriate and I love it.
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Dec. 27, 200

That was the past weeks happenings….

This Christmas was nice. Daddy and I had a nice Christmas. He shocked and surprised me with the present he gave me. I just burst into tears when I opened. Jackie I am sure is very happy she was not here lol She hates it when I cry.

We go to this Amish restaurant every once in a while. It is a special place for us. Anyway every time we go in there I look at this print they have in their gift shop. It is a little boy all bundled up sitting in the snow with his 3 dogs. There is just something about it that touches a part of me – deep inside. Daddy went and got me that print for Christmas. I was very shocked and overwhelmed with my love for him at that very moment. It is things like that remind me why I love him so much. It is an expensive print and so every time I see it I say I like it but it is one of those things I never though I would ever own.

Thank you Daddy! I love you very very much!

peace and serenity,
danae