reading tonight came across this.....
The whole article is pretty good but this part stood out to me tonight.
"There are obligations i must fulfill in order to function as a healthy woman/mother. I must take care of my body and my health. I must keep my mind active and strive to learn and expand it in as many ways as possible. I need to be strong with those who wear me down. It's an obligation to Master, that i give it my best shot at controlling these day to day things...for my own benefit. There is no one else in this world who can do these things for me...the ultimate responsibility lies on my shoulders. We've all heard the same stories about submissives who seek Masters to fix the problems in their world. Sometimes the relinquishment of responsibility can be confused with surrendering control. Big mistake in my mind. In order to be the very best i can be for Him, i must first and foremost, be the very best i can be for me." ~ vidette{CL} - Surrender Control
To me now that I have strove to make my life happy and be in control of my life. The submission I have gave feels different then it used to. And I also do not want the same things I did because it is almost like I am a new person.
We have to be in control of our lives to really understand what we want and need. And if you are not then you should back off and find it first, to me. I am not saying I know exactly where I want to go with my life and what I want to do but I do know what is right and wrong without hesitation now. It is strange....things feel right and wrong for *me*