Monday, November 04, 2002

I did not sleep well at all. I could not get to sleep for a while and then after that I kept waking up.

This morning after Moni and Michael were up...and ready...I crawled into their bed and slept. I had the strangest most vivid dreams.

First was about Nick...and it is vivid but it hard to explain. Basically in it he got jealous....and I got him over it.

I had a couple about M. All of them made me feel very good and safe. He had just got home and "family" things were going on...and then he took me to the bedroom to use me before dinner. Another where his daughter said something about how good I treat her and her Dad.

And the last one....was the one I woke up to this morning...

I was with another friend of mine....she introduced me to this guy to play with...we were at a public dungeon. He was very extreme. The pain was much like the pain I experience with M, but more. I passed out from the pain. I woke up with Monseigneur E curled around me talking to me. And Linda had just left the room with a bowl of water where she had cleaned up the wounds. He was telling me he wished I would not have done that...wish I would have waited to be in his hands. He talked about pain and being his and what that meant to him....the words...the sound of his voice....his arms so strong around me....his body next to mine warming me....

It was so vivid. I mean I don't even have to close my eyes to see the image play before me right now. I can hear his voice and the words he spoke to me...right now.

So I dreamed of all three....all of them strange to me because they are leaving me feel very unsettled this morning.

I need to go get busy so I can head back to Bill and Lisa's and get working on getting to Detroit this week.

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