Happy Girl
I am here safe and sound in HIS care.....feeling very safe and secure with Him.
Not sure where to start.....
I guess the beginning.....Moni and Katrina brought me to the airport and Moni played this song called Happy Girl (it is country - yucky). But it fit today....ALL day. I am very happy.....He is incredible and I can't even explain the feelings that are going through me.
I got here....and saw Him and a rush of energy soared through me I wanted to drop my bags and just and run to Him....
We hugged and kissed and it was like we were 2 giddy school kids.
I am not sure how to convey all the emotions going through me.
The next thing that happened....a collar....
While I was in Ohio still, He and I discussed....Him collaring me. I had issues with it but also wanted to please Him and knew ultimately it was His choice. I have issues with it basically because my previous owners did not collar me. I wanted to have that symbol but none of them felt the need for that symbol. And it is a symbol. I don't believe it is needed to be owned. I can be owned without the symbol. But the symbol was important to me. And it is something I have yearned for...but having it for a "month" to me was hard to swallow even though I want a collar very much. As we are just going month to month to see what happens with this thing we have going between us. But I did not really get what He wanted....it is not just for a month.
He explained the meaning of the collar to Him. I did see His point but it still made me very nervous. I was flattered and very excited that HE wanted to collar me. I was speechless in fact when He first mentioned it.
So we really did not discuss it again. After we left the airport....He gave me a short tour of the area He grew up and then we headed to a fetish store. When we got out of the car....He took something out of his pocket...it was a chain.
He placed it around my neck and I was scared but happy to have Him put it around my neck. No words exchanged. He just placed the chain around my neck and locked it in place. It felt very heavy like it was locking around me...all of me. It was a pure moment. It was a moment of belief and rightness. And so it felt heavy to remind me what I am and who I am to Him. He claimed me as His without words being needed.
I did not touch it because I felt like if I did I would start crying and we were about to be going into a store. So of course I did not want tears in there. It was really hard for me to realize it...the collar. But....now that it is on me and I am here with Him....it feels very good.
We went into the fetish store...and I felt like I was floating high high up in the air and I know I had a huge smile on my face.
I am really owned this time. :)
So, later on the way back to His home....a 4 hour drive from Denver. He knew I had not touched it....and He told me too. I did and started crying. It felt the cold chain under my fingers....and it lightened immediately like......it became real. Not that it was not real before but....that I had fully accepted what it meant.
I was a Happy Girl!
He and I talked about lots of different things on our way home.
I had drew a Osho Zen Tarot card int he morning it was the fool card...which is a good card despite the name. It is about living moment to moment. It is about taking a risk. It is about trusting intuition and the rightness of things.....
It has felt right.
I am not saying it could not change. But I hope it does not. As this feels very right.
He is a very good man and Dominant. He and I have a lot to process and just take this one step at a time on the path.
I am such a mixture of feelings. I am on a rollercoaster ride with them but I think it is pretty natural at this point.
We had a nice evening of talking on the way home, pizza when we got home and then we went to bed. We were both very tired and it was a long day. He put cuffs on me. And then he put an ankle cuff on my right ankle. When we went to bed, I was chained to the bed by the ankle cuff. It was very weird at first but I got used to it by the end of the night.
It am having a hard time to getting used to some things. One little thing....is Diet Coke. It is a small thing....but....it is an issue for me. silly huh?
It as He has said many times.....it is a process....
We will get there. :)
And right now I am just enjoying reaching out and touching Him....looking up and knowing....who He is...and what I am to Him....I am a Happy Girl!
(written on Feb 2 but dating it Feb 1 for that is when all of it happened)
