Just some random thoughts....

Just some random thoughts....and I am tired so beware…

I am working on a Santa Fe post. It is just taking me longer due to migraines the last 2 days.

gmail - If someone wants to try out a GMail account drop me an email at danaewhispering@gmail.com - I have one and can invite friends.

dark desires - I noticed yesterday that my dark desires page on the website had intro paragraphs that were from a very old website. So I changed that. It was kind of interesting to reread them all. I am sure I could come up with some more too! Also if anyone is just wanting to see new stuff from the website check out What's New on the site.

essays - I am kind of frustrated with the newsletter essays I write. And after getting the newsletter today in my inbox, it upset me on a whole other issue. I have thought of asking Master after this next essay series if I can stop writing for the newsletter. I am just not sure that is what I will do but I have thought about it a few times.

The reason being I don't like writing the essays right now is I feel I am writing about some things I don't care about and don't believe in. I have written many articles I do care about and believe in. The ones that I have put my heart into and care about far outweigh the ones I don't. When I come up with a topic for the essay it has come from questions one or more persons ask me. So it spawns an essay. Such as the essay on Anal Sex. I had several people asking me about it so I decided to do an essay on it.

There are a few essays that I have written that were purely because I wanted to write on the subjects...PMS and slavery is one of them.

I think right now I am questioning things because I have had a desire to write more M/s based essays rather then BDSM community focused essays. I want to write about TPE, absolute, M/s, O/p and enslavement. And I guess I just don't see those things going over well on a BDSM community newsletter. So such writing on a topic of Trust in M/s relationships....narrows things down too much. At least that has been my thinking.

Another reason this subject is coming up is because recently a website asked to use some of my essays on their website. They asked for one I don't like, but I agreed because I have gone along with the thinking that if they wanted it they must have saw something in it that was useful. But really when it comes down to it....I wish I had not written it. Everything I wrote in it was based on others experiences - from real life friends to those online. But nothing was based on my experiences. Now I know I don't need to experience something to write about it. But I feel more comfortable when I have experienced it. It is more real to me. It is giving a personal view. I also feel a lot of what I wrote in the essay is well irrelevant. The essay I am talking about is Collars. Because to me a person does not need to have a consideration collar, training collar or formal collar - they just need a commitment to each other and that can be done without an outward symbol. It is a knowing. I remember knowing Master and I were right for each other. We got to know each other. We are compatible and want the same things out of a relationship. We have faith in each other and in our relationship. We know who we are to each other. And no collar is needed for that. I am collared but my collaring was nothing like I wrote about. I was not asked to be collared. I was not asked to be His. He took me. He put the collar around my neck and locked it closed. And I was His.

I have been struggling because I think I need to pull the essay. I am struggling with thoughts that I need to stop writing essays that I don't feel something about. I write because I like to write. I know there are a lot of better writers out there but I like to write. I like to write about things that are personal experiences to me - that have something in them that I believe in or have feelings for and the essay on Collars makes me cringe every time I think about it. Sad but true. I am sure it is something I will be pondering for a while...at max until the 4 part series we have planned is done.

friend test - I am going to close it in a few days. I have had a few friends make their own tests. Of course I did the stupid thing of trying to answer them when I just had come home from traveling all day. And I did horribly! I misread questions and answers and felt awful about it.

I am going to list all my questions and answers here after I close it. There are some people who took it that I really wonder who they are....a couple were in the top 5 and I have no idea who they are and if they know me in real life or just from my blogger. I will give more thoughts on the test after I close it.