Skipping all over....
Life Update
This weekend I was going to work on a website I am doing for a friend in trade - He makes leather goods. Yummy! But I ended up not feeling all that well this weekend and so really need to jam on it this week. Yesterday Master stayed home from work. We ran a few errands and I did a few of my daily chores while He worked. But I did get behind so today I had do extra things. But I got everything I needed to done.
For dinner we had Mexican Meatballs - baked black beans - and salad.
Sex
I have been having very vivid dreams lately that have been bring to the surface my active sexual appetite. Some fairly extreme.....kidnapped, tortured, K9, use and abuse and all that good stuff. I have woke up dripping wet and stayed turned on and wet all day -for several days.
For the last couple weeks, I have been thinking about my sexuality and how much it has changed. And how I would love if it were back to the way it was before. When Master and I have sex, I am always grateful. And it is a privilege for me. But I get in these moods where when it has been a while I feel on edge and I also get to a point where I feel unwanted. And depressed. After a while of not having sex, I just want to turn my sexuality off. And Friday I felt like that. I crave for Him to touch me and I wait and wait...hoping. I can masturbate when I ask Master, but it is just not the same. And it actually at times makes it harder for me - because my sexuality is again up front then. I wish we had sex more often, but I try not to complain or whine about it. But it does wear on me and those emotions bring me down which are hard to push away and/or hide.
So I go through all these emotions on Friday and then Saturday morning....He touches me in a way He has never touched me. He touched me for a very long time....teasing - slow, soft and then hard, and fast. I had the best orgasm that I have had in ages. And I was very grateful for the sexual attention. Especially how He touched me as that is definitely a privilege.
I just wish I could contain the up and down of the emotions connected with my sexuality. Sex affects my moods....when we have had consistent sex I have felt so much better. And I think He is a lot more content too.
Mini Rant on Slash Online thing
A few weeks ago, a friend was writing in her journal...about not liking the W/we thing and I have to agree. It bothers me a lot that people do it on public e-lists. I don't care what people do in their personal writing but on a public board where you have 100 to several hundred people having to read through it I think it is impolite. When I find people that do that on the discussion lists, I skip their posts. Because when I read posts like that it almost gives me a headache from straining to read it. Because that is what it feels like....like I am straining my eyes and I get enough strain when coding. I also have to say...if I find someone writes like that I tend to not take him or her as seriously. I know that isn't fair but usually when I find that people write like that....they are stuck to much on the online world of D/s and not in reality. And I like reality....and relate to people that are reality based D/s rather then online.
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