Thursday, July 03, 2008

Monitoring Interaction

A topic over on FetLife about Masters/Dominants monitoring online email, chat, posts to groups and such. It was mentioned that often comes up that it is insecurity on the dominants parts. And I will be truthful, before I was with Master I know I thought that. But of course when it comes home to where you live it all changes.

Master does have control of all my passwords. He could go in and change them anytime he wanted. And of course that means he has access to everything. When I was first here Master read EVERYTHING before hand. He checked my email before I could sign online, he had me send him what I wanted to post to elists, groups or my blog before I was allowed to actually post to those places. He gave me permission to chat online and then looked at the chat logs. If I was chatting on a program that didn't log I had to cut and paste it into a word doc and send it to him after I was done. I even need permission to open any snail mail no matter if it is addressed to him, me or both of us. He at times opens mail addressed to me first and once he didn't even let me look at it for several days (it was a birthday card he held it back until my birthday but he opened it first).

Master still regulates some of that but he doesn't check these things as often as he did in the beginning. He periodically reads my email. He knows most places I posts (elists, forums and like) so he can check up on there if he wants and at times he does. He reads most of my blog posts before they get posted (life updates he usually doesn't require me to give to him first). He periodically checks who I have chatted with but for the most part I don't chat online. I need permission to make a phone call. I have a very good friend that asks me if it is okay with Master before she calls. And before we end the call she tells me to Thank Master for allowing me to talk to her. She is such a good girl.

Once very early in our relationship someone contacted me that had hurt me quite a bit. And Master moved the email to one of my folders so I didn't even know it had came in. He took a day or two to think on if he even wanted me to reply or even know that I had got it. He did end up telling me and told me exactly how he wanted me to reply.

I have had a couple nasty emails over the years too and Master ended up writing the people back. I was told that I was coward and couldn't stand up for myself for "letting" him reply for me. It wasn't my choice and Master knows I can stand up for myself. The emails just pissed him off so he wanted to handle it. Period.

He doesn't monitor those things because he doesn't trust me. He does trust me. It is more like with the person that hurt me -- he wanted to be able to handle it in a way that would make it easier for us to get through. I was thankful he was prepared because if I had just opened my email and seen that email I would have been very upset. Him breaking the news to me helped me so much.

He reads things because he wants to have all the information he can about what is going on with me to help him in his mastering of me. As I said he doesn't read anything regularly now and mostly that is because I have been his for over 5 years now and he knows my thoughts on many things, he knows who I chat with, he knows what I do throughout the day but in our early days he kept a closer look on those things to help him in getting to know me and master me. It didn't have anything to do with insecurity or trust. It was just information to help establish our dynamic.

*** And yes this was read by Master for his approval before I posted. Sidenote: For the most part my blog is a place where Master has told me he won't tell me no to posting things. He just reads them first because he wants me to be able to see what I am thinking before others.

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