danae

Weblogs Changing

This week has been the change in online journals. I saw that a couple people have stopped writing and are pulling their journals offline. I have seen a few just take a break for a while. And others have changed their urls. Something must be in the air with weblogging?

I was thinking about when I first started blogging this week. It will probably sound strange, but the main reason I started blogging was to be more honest with myself. Because if the world wide web was reading my words it would help me be more honest with myself. Probably sounds a little backwards as people often like the www because of its anonymity and can pretend to be others. But I knew eventually I would have people from my life - everyday life - reading my journal and so it would help me be honest with myself. I want what I feel and think on the inside to be what I live my life. Okay at that time though my life was so chaotic and very mixed up. But I guess I knew I needed to open up and really sift through what I needed and wanted in my life. And I did not want to hide from it. It helped me be honest with myself.

Online Friends

I would have to say I don't have a lot of online friends. I have friends that are real life friends that I talk to online because of the distance we live from each other. But I don't have a lot of online friends. I have women who I like reading their posts on elists and journals. We will leave brief comments. We will leave offline hi's, hugs and concerns but I don't have a lot of online friends. I don't want anyone to be offended if you were thinking we are online friends. We might be by a little bit but for me to be friends with someone I have to know them and reading someones journals and posts might allow me a chance to get know parts - but a conversation is where people really start to interact is what makes friends to me.

I want to have some online friends especially since here there are no groups or community to start with and I really want to be out with my friends. I am finding myself a little shy. It is online -the person is not seeing me. I can take time to think before I type where in real life my mouth starts moving before I have even engaged the brain.

Once upon a time I would have said no way to making friends online. Most of the people I met online years ago were I have to say fake. And it is was hard to find people that to me lived D/s or M/s real life. Now though I have found several elists that many/if not all are living D/s or M/s relationships. And that is a good thing for me.

Time Outs/Speaking Freely

These have been subjects on a few elists lately.

I really don't understand the need for either of these.....my main reason is because are you in a relationship or 5 years old? I know that might sound harsh probably is harsh but it is true. We are in a relationship. Period.

I do not need to take a break from being a slave....just like if I was in a vanilla relationship I would not take break from being a wife or girlfriend or whatever.

I have heard of people taking time outs and breaks, but it really would not be able to work in our relationship. I think it would going against who we are to each other. We have an ebb and flow in our relationship where sometimes the M/s seems more intense. But the foundation of the power exchange is always there.

When I have something to say to Master I just say it. It has to be respectful and in a manner that would show that respect. If I can't find the words to say something then I need to wait until I find the words. There are times I get angry with life but that does not mean I can just rant and rave. I have to express my feelings in a calm respectful way. If I need to rant and
rave - to calm myself - I usually write it all out say it however it comes out. And then that is a way for me to calm and then express my feelings more respectfully.

Again isn't that how we should communicate with each other if we were in a vanilla relationship...with respect. So why would it be different in a M/s relationship?