Used and Abused

This entry is something that I experienced in my real life. It is in the past before I became Master’s property.

It is one of the many vivid dreams from late, but again it was a real life encounter and extreme.

It contains slapping, hitting, kicking, punching, electricity and more.



We chit chatted over coffee (yes I drank a coffee although I hate it). It was a stiff conversation, but familiar to me. He always made me a little nervous, as I knew what would be coming after coffee.

Pain. Torture. Suffering.

He went to his house....I climbed the stairs to the room that would be the place of my pain, suffering and fear.

He had me take my clothes off. That pit of terror grew in my stomach. I knew I would suffer. It would not be pain that a masochist enjoys. It would not be pain a painslut enjoys. It would be suffering. It would be abuse, use and pushed to the edge.

He grabbed me by the hair and threw me to the floor...

He kicked me...each kick powerful enough to move my body along the floor. He grabbed me by my hair pulling me to my feet and backhanded me. Not as slap....I was backhanded so hard that I fell into a cabinet behind me. I felt the corner of the cabinet stab into me. I knew it would leave the only bruise that was not from him. He slapped me over and over. He spewed words of humiliation...words flooding me…so that my mind was screaming at me and the layers were breaking away to leave me exposed. His words that told me I was nothing. He words were breaking me down.

Tears started welling up from the force of each blow. My mind screamed run. My mind screamed no. My mind screamed of all the things that say you are in danger. Fear was flooding through me. But I stayed.

He knew all the things going on in my little brain. He said, “scream...try to run....you can't get away. You know it will just get worse when I catch you, you piece of shit.”

He pushed me to the floor. Kicking me to herd me where he wanted me. I crawled to the mattress on the floor. He shouted commands. I did one and the next would come. "Kneel on it - hands behind head - don't move.”

I heard it before I felt it...the whistle of the whip.

The long tail striking at my skin repeatedly. Digging into my flesh. Slicing into my flesh. Marking my flesh with slashes, welts and blood.

The pain from all the previous abuse mixed with the whip put me in  a place where I couldn't process. I moved. Before I knew it, my head was being yanked back by my hair and his arm was around my neck....cutting off my air.

“You are a worthless cunt who can't even stay still for a little whip. This is light compared to what I will be doing to you.”

He let go and started punching me like I was a punching bags. The tears flowed....I could not stop them. They were not just tears – I was crying hard. There were words coming from me that I was not even aware that were coming out of my mouth…I was begging him to stop. He laughed.

He told me what a waste I was....I was meat to be abused. I was meat to suffer for him. He slapped me. He hit me with his fists. I shrunk away and he laughed at me. But he kept on. It seemed like I was going to break apart with each blow to my body. I am not sure how long it went on, but he kept up with verbally abusing me reminding me I was a worthless piece of shit for him to abuse.

Finally he said, "beg for it." He told me to spread my legs open wide and beg him to kick my "stretched out whore cunt." I shook my head no. He hit me harder. I got down, spread my legs, and begged him to kick my cunt....

The pain shot through my cunt and up through my body. I screamed and more tears came. He told me to get on my hands and knees. He told me my cunt showed him how much I needed to be abused. I was so wet it was dripping down my legs. He had me push my head to the mattress, thrust my ass up and open legs wide. I heard him behind me. I thought he was going to kick me. Afterwards that is what I would beg for instead of what he did....I would have given anything for him to have just kicked me again. But instead it hit me...

The pain was not like any I had ever felt before. It sent me flying forward and screaming. Electricity zapped my wet cunt. I cried, I tried to turn around to see what he was doing to me, but he yelled at me to get in position again. I knew turning around would send me running for the door - naked, batter, bruised, and abused. I stayed laying on the floor begged, “no please please.” He laughed and again told me to get in position. I slowly backed my way into position. My brain was screaming run away, but I knew he would catch me.  So I got in to position and it came again. I cried harder because it hurt so much. So much pain. I was scared and suffering from the sadism he was inflicting. My brain kicks in wondering why is this happening to me. Why was allowing this man to do this to me. I was feeling pain so intense. Pain to a level I have never felt before. I didn't know what to do or how process it so I just submitted to him.

He flips me over, holds my head back so I can't see...he presses it to my stomach. The pain is bad, but not like my wet cunt. He does it a few more time and not happy that it is not making me suffer as much. He then tells me he is going to be nice and give me a choice. I can do 2 more zaps plus 3 kicks or I can do 5 zaps. I will have to beg and ask for each one.

I beg to stop please. He tells me no. He proceeds to tell that today was light and that I got off easy. I look at him. I see his enjoyment in his eyes. He likes that I am suffering and I also see in his eyes that today was light. I am thankful and so grateful to him in that moment. I shake my head yes....in agreement. I thank him for being light. The words in my brain are screaming between submitting to anything he wants and running.

I pick the zaps and kicks. I just am not sure I can take the zaps again. I feel light headed from the pain. My body aches deep pain. I beg for the shock. It hits. I start to cry hard again. The kind of crying makes you want to curl up and just keep crying. I am crying and screaming from the pain of the shock. He tells me to get back in position as it makes me jerk forward and curl up again. I beg for the next shock. I do the same thing again for a moment before getting in position for the kicks. I beg to be kicked. First one hits my already bruised flesh. I beg for the second, "Sir, please kick my cunt." It comes harder then the last. I scream and automatically bring my legs together in pain. He laughs at me and say something about me always opening my legs to him because my cunt needs the abuse. I open them and beg for the third. “please kick my cunt.” The third knocking forward and collapsing into the bed. I lay crying huddled in a fetal position.

He come and pushes me up....on my knees again so that my ass is in the air. He sticks his fingers in my cunt and then into my ass. And then I feel his hard cock outside of my anus. I try to move forward. I am in such pain. I don't want to have sex. I don't want to feel my ass being stretched. He yanks me back and pushes in fast.I scream and try to move forward and he grabs my hair with one hand and other hand firmly on one hip - fingers digging in with each thrust. I cry...more tears...more pain.  He fucks my ass. He cums, pulls out, and peels the condom off. He tells me to get dressed. I hear him, but everything feels like it is slow motion. I have problems getting my clothes on. He is doing things around the room. I start to cry more. He laughs at me.Tells me to finish dressing. Telling me I am a piece of shit. He kicks me to hurry to finish getting dressed and has me crawl to the door kicking me.

I leave and as soon as I walk out the door  I am thinking about what will happen the next time. Yes, there was a next time. I went back for more.