First Seminar...
"The Way of it - Establishing and Maintaining Protocol in Relationships" by Laura Antoniou
It was great. I have heard her speak before in Cleveland at SMART. And actually, it was the same talk. But this time it seemed to impact me more.
Many of the things she talked about Master and I talked about when we were at SMART Fest.
The main thing we really got from it - that I think we were needing to hear - is to keep things new. That just because Master has set protocols does not mean they have to stay that way forever…that He can change them. I know He knew that but I think He/we needed to hear it make that ah ha moment happen. It is kind of odd because so many of our protocols are un-noticed even by us now because they are so habit. And one of the things that Master has liked about the protocols is because it is his active control and my active submitting. It shows me my place and with some of our protocols, those feelings are not there because it is so everyday to us now. And so He is coming to a place of examining why He wanted them...if they can be changed or what else does He want for protocols. He has asked my input too but it is hard for me to voice those kinds of things. So through Laura's class we had a gentle reminder to mix things up....that He can change, eliminate or make new ones.
While she was talking about protocols she was talked about speech as a protocol and Dominants that make their submissives call all Dominants Sir/Master or Ma`am/Mistress. It is something I have had issues with in the past….I knew a Dominant that told submissives he met to call him Master so and so and when they refused he said well at least Sir. And it was an ego thing to me. And so right from there, it turned me off.
Well Laura pointed out something that I never thought about and it was a good point to why Dominants might want to think twice about having their submissive call all Dominants Sir or Ma`am - because it is nonconsensual topping. And it is…I mean did the Dominant go out and get permission from every Dominant the submissive is going to be contact with to see if that was okay? Also what if someone does not want to be called Sir or Ma`am - the submissive would be disobeying if they did not use the title. Also by calling a Dominant Sir or Ma`am you might be offending them by using the wrong title. I know females that go by Sir and Master. So a submissive calling a female Ma`am might be offending them. Or maybe you run into someone who is a switch…how do you know when he or she is in Top mode or bottom? There are so many reasons why titles to me are a bad idea.
It would be better to have common courtesy and say, "May I called you by a title?" Then just assuming it is okay.
Second seminar…
"The Mind is the Best (W)hole to Fuck - Mindfuck, Erotic Terrorism and SM" by LthrEdge
This time slot every seminar was one we wanted to attend. But mindfucks is not something Master does a lot of with me but is something I enjoy. I think we both were hoping for help in the area of why the mindfuck does not seem to work for us and how can we make it work for us - but our question was really not answered (but then again we did not ask it either).
Although the seminar was good…and LthrEdge is a good speaker and gave good information on the mindfuck, I wish we would have gone to Master Jim's and slave marsha's. Because I don't think we were ready for LthrEdge's seminar because Master and I are still in that learning and building a foundation stage where mindfucks just don't come into our play. That probably makes no sense but to Master and I.
LthrEdge brought up a woman he had never met and then started to talk about how he had poison ivy recently and that when he was trying to find things to bring with him to use in this class - that he could bring on an airplane. He could not find anything so he went out and found some poison ivy as he could bring that in his check in luggage without problems. And he held it with plastic gloves and such…and brought it really close to her and began to tell facts about poison ivy. And she squirmed a little. At the end of course, he said that it was not poison ivy that it was just a plant he found outside the hotel.
The woman also confessed she did not think he would be able to mindfuck her and he did.
He did a good job because how he said things…the things he said and such…made you think maybe it is poison ivy. It was just believe enough and that is a mindfuck.
So here are a few notes I took…(after I found out there was a pamphlet with all of the notes in it)
LthrEdge says there are 3 F'n Types of Mindfucks…
1. Fear based mindfucks
2. Fantasy based mindfuck - things that can't really do - such as shrink
3. Faith based mindfuck - deep trust & submission based
3 basics for a mindfuck
1. control info
2. less is more
3. deliver and maintain
To do a mindfuck….
Communicate - talk with the person about the details they fantasize about
Trust - build enough trust to have the bottom show up
Plan
Start Pre-Mindfuck - such as asking them for first of kin contact info or insurance info
Keep the mindfuck going
Be adaptable
Aftercare - Put danger away, wait to come down (combative high), discuss what happened, give what is needed: water, space, touching, talking.
Third Seminar…
"Rope Bondage without Restraint" by Jason Ryan
This was a technical class - showing how to use bondage without restraint. And it was good. He was good speaker. Showed easy methods that could be adapted upon. He did it in a way so we could see exactly what he was doing and explained what he was doing clearly.
Master has not ever been into rope and one reason has been He has not seen it done, explained or such in good ways to start. Most of the time they have been classes that are more advanced and not a basic 101 class or they classes where he could not see what they were doing or hear what they were saying. So this class He could see and hear. And it inspired Him! Yeah for me! Because I always have enjoyed, bondage although it is something I have not had a lot of in my BDSM.
So right after the class, we headed to the vendors and Master bought more rope. He actually had gotten some rope before the class as He did think of putting me in a harness later even before taking the class. After the class though He decided He not only wanted a more intensive harness, but the bondage to go down my arms.
It was cute….as I said we had bought some rope early that morning at Rainbow Ropes and then after the class Master came back and said to the owner well I need to buy more rope. She said very cute and kiddingly, "Oh we hate people like you."
Jason Ryan did a body harness, and then bondage that went down legs and arms that was not restraining just covering. They were very cool and his submissive has a GREAT ass! Okay that was off topic but he did a harness on her and then bondage down her legs - she was wearing latex pants that were like a second skin and with the rope going between her legs over her ass was yummy!
One thing he did that I had never seen before was a head harness. I am not sure I would like that though….for the same reason I don't like hoods with open mouth and eyes….I feel like a bankrobber. But with the head rope harness, I can see it being very pretty with colored rope or hemp.
Forth Seminar…
"The Gentle Art of Kicking, Punching & Takedowns" by Fifth Angel
We saw Suturing and Stapling - SM Arts and Crafts by him last year and it was very interesting. The stapling is what I thought looked the most interesting. Anyway, since we enjoyed that class of his last year and since we have affection for punching we went to this class.
I like Fifth Angel. He is enthusiastic about his subject matters. He talks clearly. It was a good class.
I would really like to hear some of the things he has to say about breath play. He is in the medical field and he touched briefly on that he does not agree with Jay Wiseman's essay on Breath Play. I might have to write him just to ask him about that.
All the things he did with punching we pretty much knew. He did different things then the person from last year so that was nice. Kicking is not something Master and I have really done. He has kicked me before, but it was to get me moving not to hurt me. Anyway, Fifth Angel only did kicking on a male…so I was kind of disappointed he did not demo on a girl too.
The end part of his class he did a really primal mini-scene with someone and it was so hot! He included punching, kicking and takedown! Yum yum yum! It made me want to have fight with Master….in a good away of course!
Day Two of Seminars to come….that is where I had the most moving experience and the most boring too.
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